Second Chances
by ceruleanvixen
Summary: My take on how TVD would have gone if there were no vampires. Same starting point but totally different story later on. AU/AH - DELENA
1. Chapter 1  MEETING HIM

_**A/N:**__ Alright so… this is me trying to write an AH/AU fic. Just giving it a shot. My dear Delenas, you must bear with me here, this will kinda follow the TV series in the beginning, so it will start out with Stelena stuff (believe me, writing this hurts me more than it does you, ask my friends whom I've been bitching to on Twitter). So please stay with me and power through this, Delena will happen and I'll try to make it worth it._

_Also, obviously, I don't own the Vampire Diaries or any of the characters. There would be an acute male-upper-body-wear-shortage hitting Mystic Falls if I had anything to say about it._

* * *

><p>1. MEETING HIM<p>

Elena opened her eyes. The sun was shining brightly; a warm breeze was coming in through the open window, smelling of summer flowers and freshly mowed grass. She heard birds and bees chirping and buzzing in the bushes outside her window and kids playing and giggling down the street. The day seemed determined to put everyone in Mystic Falls in a good mood. Too bad, she thought, knowing that the sun and birds and flowers were only wasting their time with her. With a heavy heart she got out of her bed and wandered over to her vanity. She looked at her face, looked at those sad eyes staring back at her, looked at her lips that hadn't smiled in so long, looked at the photo of her in cheerleading uniform, grinning from ear to ear. She felt so far away from that girl, like she was looking at the picture of someone else. She didn't even feel like she knew that person wielding pompoms and pressing one fist gleefully into her side, one leg propped out. Her gaze wandered over to the picture of her with her parents and her brother. She hadn't meant to look at it, but then she hadn't been able to keep her eyes from glancing in that direction. Already she felt the tears spring into her eyes. She inwardly scolded herself. Even now, three months after the accident, she was still wallowing in self-pity; she was still not able to think about her dad without feeling her heart break. She shook her head, trying to shake off the feeling of sad desperation. She had to get a grip. She had to go to school, she had to smile, she had to study and move on. She just had no idea how she would do that. She went into the bathroom to get ready.

* * *

><p>When Elena walked into the kitchen, she saw her aunt buzzing about frantically, while her brother was slouching on the counter. "Morning," she said quietly, pulling up a chair.<p>

Jenna looked up from under the sink where she'd been searching for God knows what. "Gosh Elena, I'm so late, I'm sorry. What do you want for breakfast?" She looked at her with wide eyes.

"Don't ask for anything that requires cooking," Jeremy advised and Jenna threw him a glare. At that moment Elena heard a car honk outside.

"That's Bonnie," she explained. "I'll just get something on the way. Don't worry about it." She smiled at Jenna encouragingly. "You coming, Jer?" She grabbed her backpack and started heading out the door. Jeremy shrugged at Jenna, threw a "See ya" her way and followed his sister. Jenna stayed in the kitchen, staring defeated at the unused pan on the stove. She had been doing this for three months and she still sucked at it. She couldn't believe how inapt she still felt to take care of the two teenagers. She couldn't even make them breakfast for God's sake. She wished her brother was around. He was always the one who gave her advice, who helped her when she didn't know what to do, who taught her how life worked. And now she was the one supposed to take over his role in his kids' lives. She shook her head at the irony of it all, as much as in an effort to shake off the sadness that still made her heart clench every time she thought of Miranda and Grayson, and started cleaning up.

Elena and Jeremy climbed into Bonnie's car. The girls hugged tightly and Bonnie started the engine, taking them to school. Elena looked out the window, watched kids run through sprinklers, screeching and laughing; watched a dog lie lazily in the sun; watched couples walking down the street hand in hand, mothers lifting up their kids, big smiles on their faces, elderly people sitting on benches, watching the birds. She felt like everyone around her was happy, was enjoying life, while she couldn't find the strength to even talk to her friends. She was sure everyone had hardship in their lives and she felt inadequate because she couldn't put hers behind her. She drew in a heavy breath when they rounded the corner and the school building appeared down the road.

"It'll be fine," Bonnie said reassuringly, turning towards her with an encouraging smile. "I will not leave your side for even a minute." Elena smiled at her gratefully. She really had no idea how she would walk the corridors, how she would talk to people, smile at people, how she would answer questions, how she would sit in class and concentrate. She had no idea how to hold it together and not break.

They walked through the hallways, through the mass of students, hugging, waving, smiling widely after long months of not seeing each other. Elena was grateful for Bonnie who stayed close to her the whole time. She was happy to see her friends again, especially Caroline (the blonde was hard to take in some situations, especially now, when Elena found it hard to deal with her bubbliness, but her heart was in the right place and Elena knew that it was always a good thing to have friends like her in your life) but the quiet support Bonnie provided was what helped her through the day.

By the time they stepped into history class after lunch, she had surprisingly gotten mostly acclimated to being around people again and breathing and smiling had become a little easier. And when the door opened and HE entered, she could feel her heart stutter for a moment, a good stutter, and it seemed like the first good thing that happened in months. His eyes connected with hers instantly. It was as if he had opened the door with the sole purpose of looking at her. He strolled over to a chair a row ahead of her but didn't leave her eyes for a second before sitting down. When he did and turned to face the blackboard, Elena snapped out of her fixation. She turned around slightly to look at Bonnie who was staring at her. 'What was that?' her friend mouthed and Elena could only shrug in wonder. She turned back to look at the guy who had just sat down diagonally in front of her. He was wearing a grey t-shirt, superbly showing off his broad shoulders. He was tapping a pen, making the muscles in his right arm switch slightly. She couldn't believe she was having these kinds of thoughts, but at the same time she couldn't stop herself from indulging in them. He looked extremely fit and had a spectacular physique. What had impressed her most though had been the look he had fixed her with. It was a look that seemed to go right through her, as if he had known her his entire life. It was also a look that conveyed a much deeper emotional range than that of a normal high school kid. He looked mature beyond his age and Elena had recognized something that she had only ever seen when looking into a mirror. A deep-rooted pain that stays with you and changes the way you look at the world. Jeremy had had that look after their parents' death, but now he had chemically numbed himself to the point where it had disappeared and was replaced by seeming nothingness. But Elena had seen it when she looked at herself this morning and she had seen it again in the eyes of the young man that had just walked in. And it had given her a sense of instant connection.

Her musings were interrupted by the entrance of their history teacher, Mr. Saltzman. He was every student's favorite teacher. He was relatively new and young and apparently determined to be the buddy-buddy type of educator. He took an interest in his students' lives and tried to find a way to personally engage everyone in the normally boring subject of history. Some girls had teen-crushes on him. Elena's friend Dana for example could not stop talking about the 'totally hot' teacher-stud. Elena was never able to look at him that way and it made her cringe a little to listen to Dana go on and on, especially in the past months (didn't that girl understand that "Not now, Dana" was the signal for her to stop talking?) but he was cutting Jeremy some slack and she was thankful to him for that.

"I'm glad to see you all here today," he said, throwing a sympathetic look in Elena's direction. He had come over after the accident to check on her and Jeremy, even though Elena suspected that her aunt Jenna might have been the reason he had kept coming back all through summer break. "And I see we have a new face with us. Good to have you here. Please, introduce yourself."

The guy with the soulful look and the hot back spoke up: "Hi, I'm Stefan Salvatore, I just moved here from Chicago and history is my favorite subject." He turned around, seemingly throwing glances at his new classmates as a way of introducing himself, but his eyes lingered on Elena and he threw her a quick smile before turning back to his teacher.

"Well, I am very glad to have you in my class, Stefan," Mr. Saltzman said, getting excited over a student actually showing an interest in his subject. "Everyone, turn to page 10 of your textbooks." Elena opened her book but couldn't help herself, stealing a quick glance at the new member of her class, blushing slightly when she found him staring back at her, throwing her a quick smile before they both concentrated on their books again.

* * *

><p>After school, Elena, Bonnie and Caroline were waiting for Jeremy in front of the school.<p>

"Why do we have to wait for your stoner brother?" Caroline whined. "It's gonna ruin our reputation." Elena just shot her a glare, while Bonnie tried to reason with Caroline who just shrugged her off indignantly. Suddenly Elena caught sight of Stefan leaving school. She tried not to stare, but couldn't bring herself to look away. Bonnie and Caroline followed her line of sight and their eyes equally landed on Stefan.

"Ugh, he's so hot!" Caroline said quietly, then raised her voice to get his attention: "Hey, new guy!" She called out, making Bonnie and Elena snap around to stare at her with bewilderment in their eyes. Stefan smiled at them and came over.

"Stefan," he corrected her, smiling at Elena.

"I know." Caroline replied with a teasing smirk on her lips. "I'm Caroline. Bonnie, Elena, meet Stefan. He's new." Her eyes didn't leave him one second.

"We've met," he said, smiling at Elena again.

"We have history together," Elena explained.

"And English and French," he added, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Right," she said, mesmerized by his intense stare but also a little uncomfortable.

"So," Caroline interjected, "there's this bonfire tonight. You should come," she directed at Stefan.

"Will you be there?" He asked, still looking at Elena.

"Sure," she said.

"We'll all be there," Caroline added, getting increasingly annoyed with the lack of attention she was receiving.

"I'll see you there, then," he said, turning around and lifting his hand in a short goodbye-gesture. When he was out of sight, Caroline whipped around, glaring at Elena.

"What was THAT?" She fumed.

"It's been like that all day," Bonnie explained.

"It's like we weren't even there!" Caroline exclaimed in exasperation.

"We just have a connection," Elena shrugged.

"A connection?" Bonnie looked at her incredulously. "You don't even know him. And he's kinda creepy. The way he keeps staring at you."

"Oh stop it," Elena said. Relieved to see her brother come strolling out of the school building, she walked towards him and then dragged him behind her to Bonnie's car, making him stumble over his own feet and curse at her to slow down.

* * *

><p>When the girls arrived at the bonfire that night, Elena scanned the groups of people circling the fire for a certain face but couldn't spot him anywhere. She was acutely aware of the disappointment. But then she shook her head, reprimanding herself. This morning she had gotten up feeling like she would never be able to smile again and now she was thinking about a boy and upset because he wasn't at a bonfire. A guy she'd just met. She decided to not think about him and just try to have fun with her friends for once.<p>

She was standing by the fire with Bonnie and Caroline, when Jeremy sauntered up to them nonchalantly. Caroline looked at him in disbelief, clearly not wanting to be associated with him, but Elena thought that hanging out with her and her friends was an infinitely better option than him getting high somewhere with people she didn't even know, so she smiled at him at took a sidestep to include him in the circle. They were chatting for a while and Elena felt more and more relaxed. The fire was heating her face, the casual conversation flowed smoothly and she felt safe in her little circle of friends. No sympathetic looks, no one feeling weird around her, not knowing what to say, no awkward avoidance of certain topics. She was thankful for her friends and for Jeremy. After the accident he had capsuled himself off, drifting away into his own little world, only interrupted from time to time to seek some drug-induced escape with new friends that Elena had never met. But in the last couple of weeks, he had opened up again, had started talking to her and even to Jenna, and Elena was thankful for it. Jenna and Jeremy were the only family she had left and Jeremy had been her best friend when they were little. She needed him. She needed him to feel close to their parents and as a constant in her life that had changed so drastically in the past months. After a while she noticed that her cup had been empty for a while and frowned, looking into the void plastic container. Bonnie noticed and glanced into her own cup. "I'm all out as well," she said, taking Elena's cup with her to get refills.

"I'll come with; help you carry," Jeremy said, ripping Caroline's only half empty cup out of her hand and scrambling after Bonnie. Elena and Caroline looked at each other with raised eyebrows, surprised by Jeremy's eagerness to get drinks and not really knowing what to make of the situation. But then Caroline's glance fell behind Elena and her expression changed to one of friendly mischief.

"I'm gonna… go and help carry as well," she said and turned away before Elena could react. She was about to call after Caroline and follow her, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Hi," he said and she spun around on her heel instantly, looking into smiling but tortured eyes.

"Hi," she replied. "You made it."

"Of course," Stefan said, throwing a look around the clearing. "Small town social events. I live for this stuff." He threw her a dazzling smile.

"Right, of course," she said, smiling at him. "Chicago's got nothing on us."

He let out a light laugh and nodded his head. "Indeed," he answered, looking around again.

"So," she started, trying to break the ice. "You just moved here? With your family?"

"No, just me," he said. "I'm nineteen. I can go wherever I want." She looked at him in confusion. If he was nineteen, why was he still a senior in high school? He seemed to catch onto what she was thinking. "I took a year off school for personal reasons," he said by way of explanation. "And now I'm just finishing up in a new place." She nodded at him understandingly.

"You wanna go for a little walk?" he proposed.

"She turned around in search of her friends, but they were nowhere to be found and so with a shrug she acquiesced and followed him down the little sand path towards the bridge. They passed a few other teens, getting drunk, making out, laughing, and Elena actually felt a little relieved to leave the big group and the other people. She was still emotionally unstable and big groups and gatherings drained her. So when they got to the bridge and she felt the cooler night air blow through her hair and the noise from the party only waved over occasionally, she let out a small sigh of relief.

"Not really into this party, huh?" Stefan said, turning around and smiling at her.

"It's fine. It's just big groups." She tried to explain. He looked at her intently. "I sound like I'm antisocial or something. That's not it… I'm just… I haven't been in a good place these past months and I'm just getting back to going out and hanging with my friends. So parties like this are exhausting." He looked at her with an understanding look in his eyes. "It'll get better with time," she smiled, hoping he didn't think she was lame now.

"What happened?" He asked. She was surprised. She hated that question, she hated talking to people about the accident, but he asked so genuinely and she felt like he understood pain on a different level than her other friends and it made her want to open up about it to him. She still hesitated. Talking about her parents' death was a bit heavy for a get-to-know-you conversation.

"It's kind of a sap story. You don't wanna hear it," she shrugged it off. "Doesn't really make for good party small talk," she tried to make light of the situation.

"I was never really a big fan of party small talk," he said, smiling at her encouragingly.

She took a deep breath and then turned to look out on the dark water beneath the bridge. "My parents passed away a few months back. They got in a car accident. The police don't really know how it happened. They assume there was a deer on the road and my mom tried to avoid it and lost control over the car. They hit a tree." She was still staring at the water that ran eternally underneath them.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk about it." He said.

"No it's fine. Normally everyone knows and acts weird around me. It's actually nice to meet someone without the baggage," she explained, finally looking up to meet his eyes for the first time. There was so much compassion and understanding in them. And also something else entirely, something like desire, that made her swallow hard.

"When you lose someone, it stays with you. Always reminding you of how easy it is to get hurt," he said, making her feel like he took the words right out of her mouth.

Then realization hit her. "You lost someone, too," she said, understanding suddenly why he had the same pain in his eyes she knew so well from her mirror image. He turned away, staring out onto the river. "I'm sorry," she said, realizing that her assumption had been quite forward. "I didn't mean to pry." She turned away as well.

"No, don't worry." He turned back to her, trying to reassure her. "I did. My girlfriend, Katherine. She was shot. A year ago."

Elena gasped. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," he said, a sad smile on his face. It's why I came here. I wanted to get away from the memories. Move on with my life."

Elena nodded understandingly. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asked.

"We were at a party and went home late at night. She was going to spend the night at my place. When we got there, she said she wanted to get cigarettes. I was tired and didn't want to walk to the machine. It was cold and I was drunk. So I let her go by herself. I fell asleep on the couch. I didn't even notice she didn't come back until the sirens woke me. She was mugged and shot." He stared at his feet.

"I blame myself, too," Elena stated, a fact she had never admitted to anyone. It was clear to her that Stefan thought Katherine would still be alive if he hadn't let her go by herself. "My parents were out and I had snuck off to a party. But my friends got drunk and couldn't take me home so I called my parents to come pick me up when they were on their way back. They took forever and I didn't know why. I just wanted to go home. I got so mad at them. And then I finally called a cab, all the way home thinking that would teach my parents a lesson. If they kept me waiting, I might disappear. When I got home the police was there, talking to my brother. I have never seen him so devastated. Had I not called them, they wouldn't have taken that back road, they'd still be alive." She hung her head.

"Hey," Stefan said, pulling her head up by her chin, "it's not your fault. We can't feel guilty about this. We don't know what would have happened otherwise. We only got to see one version of the story. We can never be sure the same thing would not have happened anyways." She nodded slowly. It had felt good to finally talk about the guilt she felt. And to someone who understood it. And she was grateful to him for trying to take some of the guilt away. And because he was in the same situation, and understood where she was coming from, she let him. She looked into his eyes and saw him staring back at her, searching her face, and then slowly he bent down, until their mouths were only inches apart. He lingered there for a second as if to give her the chance to pull away, and when she didn't, he closed the distance completely and kissed her lips softly. Elena was uncertain for a second, worried they might be moving too fast, but the kiss felt like two sad souls were trying desperately to heal each other and she leaned into it, hoping that it might work.

When Stefan got home that night, he could still feel Elena's kiss on his lips. He remembered the feel of her hands on his arms, how her warm, plump lips had felt against his, like coming home. He turned the key in the lock to his apartment and stepped inside. When he turned the light on, he froze. A man was sitting on his couch, looking at him expectantly. His black hair tousled, his crystal blue eyes icy, his boots irreverently propped up on Stefan's glass coffee table.

"Hello brother," the smooth voice belonging to the man drawled lazily.

"Damon," was all Stefan could get out. He needed a few moments to collect his thoughts before he could get to what he really wanted to know: "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I told you I would make your life a living hell. I'm just keeping my promise." He threw his brother an evil smirk. "Now I would ask you why you're here, in this rat-hole of a town… but I saw her. So I actually have three other questions: Who is she? How did you find her? And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

* * *

><p>The next day Elena was sitting on the lawn in front of her school after classes let out. Bonnie and Caroline were at cheer practice. Elena had been a cheerleader as well, but after her parents' accident she had felt distinctly non-cheerful and had dropped it. She did however have a book to read for American Lit class and had decided to sit under a tree and enjoy the weather while doing so, instead of being cooped up in her room. Bonnie would take her and Caroline home after practice was over. Elena was deeply immersed in her reading, when a dark shadow fell over her.<p>

"Interesting choice of reading material," a velvety voice greeted her.

She looked up, but couldn't make out his features because he was standing in front of the sun. She shielded her eyes against the glare. "Excuse me?" she asked the stranger.

"Gone with the wind," he answered, pointing to the book in her lap. "Tell me, are you an Ashley or a Rhett kind'a gal?"

Elena was confused as to why this man was asking her about her reading assignment and getting increasingly uncomfortable. "Can I help you?" She asked, getting up. She was startled when she was finally at eye level with him. He had the most sparkling blue eyes she had ever seen, set off even more by his jet black hair. He must have noticed her reaction to him, because a teasing smirk appeared on his lips.

"I sure hope so," he said, fixating her with his eyes, making her want to squirm under his gaze. "I'm looking for Stefan Salvatore. Do you know where I can find him?"

"Stefan?" Her head was reeling. Who was this guy and why would he ask about the boy she'd kissed last night. Memories of the kiss came flooding back, making her feel increasingly uncomfortable with her first reaction to this stranger. He kept looking at her expectantly. "He went home I guess. School let out a half an hour ago." She explained.

"Oh drat," the man in front of her said, still smirking, seemingly unsurprised by the news. "I was just on my way home and thought I could give him a ride. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother."

Elena looked at him in surprise. "He didn't tell me he had a brother." And they didn't really look like brothers either. They were of similar height and built, but Damon had black hair and blue eyes while Stefan's hair was much lighter and his eyes were green. They were both handsome but in very different ways and Elena couldn't make out any family resemblance, even knowing she was looking for one.

"Yes well, he likes to keep me all to himself; especially around beautiful women like yourself." He threw her a dazzling smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," he prodded, extending his hand to her.

"Elena," she answered, moving to shake his hand, gasping in surprise when he moved it up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. He let it go and looked up at her in mock surprise.

"Oh you're Elena! My brother will not shut up about you." She threw him a wary look. "So tell me, Elena," he pronounced her name purposefully, drawing out each syllable, "why are you sitting here under this tree, all by your lonesome self?"

"I'm actually waiting for my friends to finish practice so they can take me home."

His eyes glittered. "I can take you home if you want to. No trouble at all."

Elena mulled it over a second, but decided she preferred to wait for Bonnie and Caroline. Something about this guy rubbed her the wrong way. He excited and frightened her in all the wrong ways and she figured it was probably a good idea to not get too close to him. "Thank you, that's very nice. But I'll just wait."

"Did your mom tell you not to get in the car with strangers?" He said teasingly, including a short wink.

"Something like that," she conceded.

"Oh come on. I'm not a Stranger. I'm Damon. I'm sure my brother would appreciate it if I got you home safely. I'm surprised he's not here with you right now. He has an issue with leaving girls all by themselves." Elena swallowed hard. He must be talking about Katherine. She couldn't believe how callous he was about it. This situation was getting a bit much for her to handle but it didn't look like he would ease up on her.

"Fine," she agreed. "That's very nice of you." She added out of politeness. He threw her a wide grin and she followed him to a gorgeous old-timer, almost as blue as his eyes.

"Nice car," she admitted.

"Isn't it?" He passed his hand over the door lovingly, before opening it for her. "She's the love of my life."

"You men and your cars," she quipped, trying to set a light mood so as to feel less uncomfortable.

"They're less fickle," he simply said, before turning on the engine.

"Less fickle than what?" She asked, despite having a pretty good idea of what he probably meant.

"You're a smart girl, Elena, you'll figure it out," he simply answered as he drove off the school parking lot.

"I was giving you the benefit of the doubt," she scoffed. To her surprise he started laughing, a short but wholehearted laugh, as if he had been surprised by her answer.

"I like you," he said, turning towards her. "You have spunk. Who'd have thought?"

She threw him an incredulous look. "Aren't you charming?" She exclaimed drily.

"Oh, you have no idea," he said, boring his blue eyes into hers, before turning back to watch the road. "So, you and my brother, huh?" She looked out of the window awkwardly. "I don't want to sound mean or anything but… I wouldn't get my hopes up. He's still pretty hung up on his ex."

"Katherine?" She couldn't keep herself from asking. She couldn't believe the nerve of this guy who just met her and already badmouthed his brother to her, getting way too involved in her personal life. On the other hand her heart was vulnerable right now and she didn't want to get lost in something that would only hurt her more.

"He told you about her," Damon said with seemingly honest surprise. "I didn't think he would."

"Yes, he told me she passed away," she said in a quiet voice. She felt Damon go rigid next to her, his hand tightening around the steering wheel.

"Is that what he told you?" He asked, staring straight ahead. Elena's head snapped to the side, looking at the man driving the car. Was he insinuating that Stefan had lied about his girlfriend's death? She couldn't even form the words to ask the question. She just stared at him. "She didn't," he finally managed to say; "she's in a coma." He shifted gears as he rounded a corner. He was still staring straight ahead, his jaw tense as if he was biting his teeth together, his shoulders pushed back into his seat, his foot heavy on the gas pedal.

"I'm sorry," she said, still looking at him.

"For what?" He asked, furrowing his brows in irritation.

"You obviously care about her, too," she ventured, watching him carefully. His jaw muscles relaxed slightly and she thought she felt the car slow down, indicating that he would have lifted his foot a little off the gas. After a while he turned around to look at her.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" He said, looking into her eyes. She thought he probably meant it as a snarky comment, but his expression was sincere, for seemingly the first time since she had met him. "And smart," he added, with a newfound smirk. "I was right about you," he said, wagging a finger at her and turning his attention back to the road.

"You never did answer my question," he reprimanded. She looked at him quizzically.

"What question?"

"Whether you prefer Ashley or Rhett," he said, tapping a finger on the book she was holding in her lap.

"Well, Ashley's with another woman, so… But Rhett's an arrogant ass. And she seems to really love Ashley so I guess I hope they find a way to be together."

Damon chuckled lightly. "Rhett might be an arrogant ass, but at least he's honest and courageous…" he seemed to want to keep going, but Elena interrupted him.

"Courageous? He's leading a dandy life while everyone else is going to war."

"So you're not very far into the story then," he said, throwing her a quick smirk.

"No," she said, indicating for him to turn at the light, "but that doesn't matter, she's clearly in love with Ashley. Why would that change? Not all women are fickle, you know. I will root for them till the very end. Even if only to spite you." She said with conviction and a little extra pathos just to irk the guy sitting next to her.

"Alright then," he said to her, a small smile on his lips. "We'll talk again once you can actually make an educated decision. This is you, I assume?" He was slowing down in front of her house.

"Yes," she said, opening the door once he had come to a complete stop. "Thanks for the ride."

"My pleasure." He threw her a last quick smile before taking off in the direction they had come from.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:**__ alright so this is my second attempt at writing fanfiction. I was literally BLOWN AWAY by the response my first story got and I had this kinda swirling around in my head and decided to give it a shot. So the situation now is this: I do have a whole story kind of envisioned for this and know where it would go and how it would end (Spoiler Alert: DELENEA, haha). But I've had quite a few people request that I continue my other story "The New Deal" (which I had originally written as a one-shot). So now I was thinking I would let you decide. Tell me which story you would rather read and I will continue the one with more votes. Also, please drop me a review to tell me what you think, even if you don't care to vote. I'm just getting started on this whole fanfic business and it really helps me to know what people like or don't like in my stories and my writing. And also to see if what I try to do actually comes across in my writing. So please please please leave me a review or send me a PM to tell me what you think. I answer all of them and appreciate it so so much! Thanks :)_


	2. Chapter 2  CREEPY IS THE NEW DESIRABLE

_HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Alright, I know I said I'd let you decide which story I would continue and I must admit more people asked for "The New Deal". But I sat down and tried to continue that one and I just couldn't do it. I think it's better as a one-shot and I think I would make myself unhappy if I tried to turn it into something it just isn't. So I'm really sorry, but that will not happen, at least not for the time being. I hope you will like what I'm doing with this one though. This is a very short chapter and its function is just kind of to establish a few things and get the story going. Like I said before, please stick with me through the Stelena phase in the beginning, I promise to make it worth your while later. Also, I know it seems like I'm sticking to the show and it will also do so in this chapter, but I will go off in a very different direction soon. Promise ;) ok so… here goes chapter 2. Hope you like it anyways :)_

* * *

><p>2. CREEPY IS THE NEW DESIRABLE<p>

Elena was sitting in her room, continuing to read "Gone with the Wind". She was getting increasingly upset with Ashley. She felt like he was both stupid for being with another woman when he was clearly in love with Scarlett, as well as unmerciful for not being able to dissipate the hope she still had for a future with him. Her dislike for Ashley however did not translate into a favorable opinion of Rhett. She still thought he was an ass. She would rather be neither an Ashley nor a Rhett girl than having to pick one of the two undesirable choices. When she looked up from her book, she almost had a heart attack. Down by the tree on her front lawn stood Stefan, looking up at her sitting in her window. When he saw that she had spotted him, he gave her a little smile and motioned with his head for her to come downstairs. A little unsure, she lay her book aside and ventured down the stairs. She wasn't really sure how she felt about Stefan and what was developing between them. The fact that he had lied about his girlfriend's death irked her. She opened the door, but didn't move to invite him in, instead folding her arms across her chest, shifting her eyes between his genuine smile and the floorboards of the porch he was standing on.

"Hi," he said, widening the smile a little.

"Hi," she greeted back, waiting for him to explain himself. When he only stood there, looking at her, she spoke again, to end the uncomfortable silence: "How did you know where I live?"

"Damon told me he dropped you off. I figured we needed to talk."

"Yes, I think we do," she agreed.

"Look, I don't know what he told you, but knowing my brother it wasn't anything good. You can't trust him. And you shouldn't believe what he tells you. He is in a bad place right now and he does horrible things for reasons only known to him. You need to be careful around him. He will lie to you and manipulate you and lead you astray and you won't even see it coming." He looked at her with insistence in his eyes. She was surprised. He looked worried. But not about what Damon might have told her, worried for her safety.

"He told me Katherine was in a coma," she said, testing the waters, wanting to see his reaction.

"She is," Stefan conceded without hesitation.

"You told me she passed away," she said, her voice a mixture of confusion and accusation.

"No, I said I lost her. And I did." She threw him a wary look, a little annoyed that he would be splitting hairs in a situation like this. "She has been in a coma for a year now, Elena," he continued. "She might never wake up. And if she does… no one can say how profoundly her brain has been damaged. I have hoped for a long time that she will wake up. But I have come to believe that she won't. And it has been difficult, but I have accepted it. That's why I came here, to get a chance at a new life without the pain." She looked up into his eyes and saw nothing but sincerity in them. Now that she thought back to it, it was true; he never said Katherine was dead. She had assumed she was because she had told him about her parents. She still thought he could have clarified, but she could accept that it was an honest mistake. She uncrossed her arms and hooked her thumbs in her jeans pockets, not sure where this left them.

"And then I met you," he said, tilting her head up by the chin so she would meet his eyes, "and you're so amazing. And I just feel like we could have something special. I feel like we have this incredible connection. Don't you?" And he looked at her with such pleading eyes that it made her heart melt. And she did feel the connection as well. He was different from all the boys she had met before. The pain had forced him to mature beyond his age. She felt like he was more intense than anyone she'd ever met. More intense about life, more intense about his feelings, more intense about her. And it made her want to get caught up in the intensity and feel it as well. After the numbness of the past months, she was desperate to feel good, to get excited, to experience something new.

"Yes," she breathed and in one swift motion he leaned down and kissed her passionately. She was hesitant for a second but then she returned the kiss, getting lost in the sensation of his forceful lips on hers and his demanding hands in her hair. It was amazing to feel so wanted. The way he looked at her and talked to her made her feel special and she relished it. At some point she had to break the kiss, even though he was obviously reluctant to let go of her.

"Would you like to come in?" she asked huskily, slightly out of breath.

"Yes," he said, a wide smile on his face, holding onto her hand as he crossed the threshold.

* * *

><p>The next day, Elena was again standing in front of the school building with Bonnie and Caroline, waiting for Jeremy. Stefan had joined the football team and had gone to practice, but not without placing a lingering kiss on Elena's lips right in front of her friends. She wasn't one for public displays of affection and the kiss had made her slightly uncomfortable, but the squeals she earned from Caroline after he had gone off to practice and rounded the corner, had made her smile. That girl was way too invested in her love life.<p>

"Oh my god!" The bubbly blonde seemed just shy of a heart attack. "Are you guys like officially dating? When did this happen? Why have we not been talking about this all day?"

Elena smiled. They hadn't talked about it all day, because she hadn't been sure what she was going to tell her friends. How she was going to define the thing she and Stefan shared. Also, she remembered Bonnie's reluctance when it came to Stefan and she hadn't wanted to feel like she needed to justify herself. But when she looked at Bonnie, her friend smiled at her and she felt a little more encouraged to gush.

"Well, it kind of happened last night. He came over and we talked."

"And it was epic!" Caroline interjected. "Please tell me it was epic. That guy is so hot and broody and mysterious, I bet every second you spend with him is epic!"

"Fine, it was epic," Elena yielded, slightly rolling her eyes. Then she caught a movement in the corner of her eye and slightly turned to see a blue convertible creep by outside the fence, the dark-haired driver throwing her a mischievous smirk. Bonnie and Caroline turned around to see what she was looking at and the three girls followed the slow car with their eyes.

"Who's that?" Bonnie asked. It was a small town and normally you had at least seen everyone somewhere before, especially someone who looked like that and drove a fancy old-timer.

"That's Damon, Stefan's brother." Elena explained, neither of them leaving the man with their eyes.

"He is hot!" Caroline exclaimed quietly, just as Damon gave them a last wink and with a smirk gunned his engine and took off down the road. "How do you know him?" She turned back to Elena.

"He was the guy who drove me home the other day." Elena said, feeling uncomfortable with this admission without knowing exactly why she would be.

"You let him drive you home?" Bonnie asked in exasperation.

"He can take ME home anytime," Caroline said, turning her head again as if to see if he wasn't coming back. "He could also just take me in the backseat," she said in a conspiratorial tone and giggled.

"Oh please," Bonnie sighed.

"Stay away from him, he's bad news," Elena implored Caroline.

"Says who?" The blonde questioned indignantly.

"Stefan," Elena said.

"Common sense," Bonnie added.

"Oh come on you guys, that whole leather jacket, evil smirk thing is so just a bad boy front. It's just an image. Barking dogs don't bite."

"I'm telling you, Caroline. Stefan warned me. Don't go there."

"But he's so hot! Come one, he took you home! The two of you, all confined in that little car of his, nowhere to go, that smirk directed at you… tell me you weren't tempted." She teased Elena.

"Please. He's creepy. He's lurking in front of our school, Car!"

"Psssh… lurking. You're being so dramatic!" Caroline rolled her eyes. At that moment Jeremy walked out of the school and Elena was glad that they could drop the subject for the time being.

* * *

><p>Stefan and Elena had made plans to go out that night, nothing big, just hanging out at the Grill. But of course, as soon as Caroline found out about it, she had invited Bonnie and herself along. Bonnie wasn't really into the idea, but she was determined to make an effort at liking Elena's new boyfriend and she figured since their date was already being crashed by Caroline, she might as well come along and get to know him a little better. Stefan would have liked to spend time alone with Elena, but of course he wanted to get to know her friends and so he had agreed to the evening. When Jeremy had heard about the plans, he had asked if he could tag along. Elena's eyes almost popped out of her head in surprise, but she agreed. She was starting to suspect that Jeremy might have a crush on Bonnie and that that was the real reason why he had started to spend so much time with her and her friends lately. She made a mental note to give her friend a heads up so she wouldn't be blindsided or weirded out. Stefan had picked Elena and Jeremy up at their house and when they entered the Grill, Caroline and Bonnie were already sitting at a table. The blonde spotted them first and waved frantically. Elena smiled. She was lucky to have friends who were this happy for her. They had just ordered drinks when Jeremy suggested they go play some pool. Caroline, Elena and Stefan wanted to hang out and chat first, but Bonnie said she was game and the two of them took off. The remaining girls exchanged meaningful looks. Maybe Elena had miscalculated and Bonnie was also into her brother. The thought was somewhat disturbing to her, but whatever was going on between the two seemed to have a good influence on Jeremy so she was willing to accept anything that brought this change about, even if it was her brother dating one of her best friends. Conversation flowed easily and Elena was happy that Stefan got along so well with her friends. It was important to her that her boyfriend integrated well into her circle of friends. She thoroughly disliked awkwardness and bad blood and didn't think she'd be able to date anyone that her friends didn't like. Of course, she wasn't one to let her friends' opinion influence her own, but she loved them all dearly and if they disliked someone, they definitely had good reason to do so. Suddenly, Elena felt a shift in the atmosphere of the place. She turned around and saw that Damon had just entered the Grill. She was a little shocked that his appearance should have a physical effect on her, even when she didn't know he was there. He skimmed the room briefly and then locked eyes with her. Before she could look away, he shot her a quick smirk and started walking in their direction. She turned back quickly and saw Caroline and Stefan looking in the direction of Damon approaching them, Caroline with an eager and curious expression, Stefan with a rather apprehensive one.<p>

"Hello there," Damon said when he had reached their booth. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Caroline answered with a wide smile, before Elena or Stefan had a chance to reply.

"And who might you be?" Damon said and turned to her, smiling widely.

"Caroline," she replied and held out her hand. "I'm Elena's friend." Damon took her hand to shake it, but didn't release it right away after.

"So it is true then, what they say. Beautiful women do flock together," he said, never taking his eyes off her. Caroline giggled while Elena was getting increasingly uncomfortable. She could feel Stefan tense beside her. "Well, it is nice to meet you, Caroline, Elena's friend. I'm Damon, Stefan's brother."

"I know," she said conspiratorially as Damon scooted onto the bench next to her.

"Do you now?" He turned around and was now looking intently at Elena. "Has Elena changed her position on the Ashley versus Rhett question?"

Elena could feel the arm that Stefan had earlier flung over the backrest of the bench behind her shift as if to hold onto her, but stopping in mid-motion as if he had changed his mind. She looked at Damon in annoyance. "I have," she answered. "I now dislike them both equally."

Damon let out a short chuckle and directed his full attention back at Caroline. "And what about you," he asked her with a smirk. "Are you an Ashley or a Rhett girl?"

"Definitely Rhett," she replied without hesitation. "He's suave." She batted her eyelashes at him flirtatiously. Elena had to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

"Hmm, a girl who knows what she wants. I like it." He shot her a dazzling smile and Caroline returned an equally as dazzling one of her own.

"Hey, how about we join Bonnie and Jeremy for a game of pool?" Elena suggested, feeling a pressing need to get away from the present situation.

"Good idea," Stefan agreed.

"Do you play pool?" Caroline asked Damon.

"I do. But how about you and I chat about you penchant for the Rhetts of this world while the kids go play with themselves?" He looked at her intently, not heeding Elena and Stefan any attention. Elena could see a slight bout of hesitation fly across her friend's face at the underlying innuendo, but it disappeared just as quickly.

"Sure," she smiled bravely. Elena could tell that Caroline was attracted to Damon for two reasons. One was because she thought that he was hot, the other was that he was sexually aggressive and she felt challenged to keep up with him. She was a bit worried about her friend but decided against making an embarrassing scene and instead opted for talking to her about it in private. She took her purse and Stefan followed her to the pool table.

She enjoyed playing pool with her brother, best friend and boyfriend, but she couldn't help stealing glances at Caroline and Damon in their booth. He was obviously flirting with her, touching her hair and arm, throwing her wicket smiles. And Caroline was reveling in the attention and flirted right back. Elena felt Stefan stand next to her and look in the same direction.

"Do you think he's serious about her?" She asked him.

"No," he said simply.

She turned and looked at him, a bit shocked. "What makes you say that?" She asked.

He sighed heavily. "He's only ever been serious about one girl. And he's not over her yet."

"Katherine," Elena deduced.

Stefan smiled weakly. "He told you?"

"No, but I kind of figured," she replied. Stefan just nodded. "Which one of you dated her first?" She asked, not sure if she was treading on dangerous ground, but not being able to refrain either.

"I don't really know," he admitted, looking in the direction of Damon and Caroline while he spoke. "With Katherine, lines are always kind of blurry."

Elena nodded. She couldn't really understand how lines could get that blurry and how both brothers could get this caught up in the triangle. She was getting more and more curious about this Katherine girl that had such power over both of these fascinating men and also felt a bout of insecurity. Whatever had been going on between the three of them, it must have been intense. She wasn't sure she'd be able to hold onto Stefan if that kind of intensity was what he was looking for in a relationship. She had never been in an intense relationship; she was seemingly one for comfortable ones. And she hoped Stefan wouldn't get bored with her as soon as he figured that out. She shook off her worries and also turned back to the flirting couple that was apparently oblivious to the world around it.

"I don't want her to get hurt," Elena told the man standing next to her.

"Then you better warn her," was all he said, before turning back to the pool table.

* * *

><p><em>So, that's it for now. I'll try and update soon though. And then the sh*t will start to hit the fan ;) Please let me know what you think, every review makes my heart go "wheeeeeeee!"<em>


	3. Chapter 3 ON BELIEF AND REALITY

_**A/N:** Hello everyone, this is the third chapter and it was a tough one, let me tell you. Anyways, I've been asked how much longer I would torture you with Stelena. Not for very much longer, I promise :) But it is necessary to this story, so bear with me. Big Thanks to everyone who has subscribed and favorite this story and to everyone who has dropped me reviews, you have no idea how much all of it means to me. Alright, let's get on with it…_

* * *

><p>3. ON BELIEF AND REALITY<p>

Elena had been meaning to talk to Caroline the very next day, but the blonde was always in conversation with other people while they were at school and after school she was nowhere to be found. She had skipped cheer practice twice already and Elena and Bonnie were getting worried. Assuming that this had to do with her getting cozy with the older Salvatore, his bad influence had become instantly and painfully obvious. Thus Elena was ecstatic when Caroline had agreed to go swimsuit shopping with her. Tyler had announced a last late summer party at the Lockwood swim hole and Elena, not having felt up to it during summer, hadn't gone all year and therefore insisted on going this time, but didn't have a swimsuit. Caroline of course, not being able to resist a shopping spree, and figuring she could do with a new one herself, had agreed to come with her. Elena had borrowed her aunt Jenna's car and the girls had driven to the mall giggling and singing along to the radio, like they used to, and it felt good. Elena had hoped that this would be the opportunity she had been waiting for to broach the subject of Damon, but so far she hadn't been able to work up the nerve, not wanting to ruin the good mood they were both in and was scolding herself for chickening out.

But when Caroline walked out of the dressing room to model a golden bikini for Elena, she couldn't refrain from letting out a shocked gasp.

"Caroline, you're bruised all over!" She stepped closer to her friend to inspect the bruising on her thighs and upper arms.

"I know," the blonde winked at her and then stepped back to let her friend judge the bikini. "So, what do you say?" She turned around, swaying her hips.

"Who did this, Car?" Elena asked, entirely too preoccupied to focus on something ridiculous like swimwear.

"Damon," Caroline replied with a wide grin.

"Does he beat you?" Elena exclaimed shocked and apparently louder than she should have, earning them an inquiring look from a girl trying on a sweater next to them.

"Shh!" Caroline scolded her. "No he doesn't beat me. What's wrong with you?"

"What did he do to you?" Elena stared at her.

"He took me in his backseat. And other places," Caroline replied with a proud smirk.

"But… wh…" Elena didn't know how to finish the sentence. She was still too shocked.

"He likes it a little rough," Caroline shrugged and started to turn back to the dressing room to get out of the golden two-piece.

"But Car, you shouldn't let him… I mean that's not how it's supposed to be."

"Says who?" her friend said, spinning around, suddenly glaring at her. "I like it too," she said, not leaving any room for discussion. "Not everyone's a prissy prude like you!" And with that she spun on her heel again and disappeared behind the curtain. Elena was dumbstruck. Damon got rough enough during sex to bruise Caroline all over her body and she liked it? Her friend's last words had struck a nerve with Elena. She had always been less experienced than Caroline and she knew she wasn't the most adventurous in bed. Her love life with Matt hadn't been very passionate and the intensity that she felt roll off Stefan at all times made her uneasy, worried that she wouldn't be able to satisfy him. But she doubted that getting bruised was the way to a man's heart. Even if she allowed for the possibility that passionate sex might lead to some bruising on the inside of the thighs, the amount of discolorations on Caroline and their locations spoke of forceful grabbing, pressing, pushing and what not and Elena was sure that this would never happen to someone who was made love to. Sex might be violent with some people, but making love couldn't be like that. Could it? She was confused. She shook her head. She was afraid her friend was in over her head and was misinterpreting what was going on. But she could tell that Caroline would not be reasoned with.

Shopping turned out to be less fun after the fallout and Caroline decided the trip was over. She let Elena drop her off in front of her house and stalked away from the car without so much as a goodbye. Elena heaved a heavy sigh and drove off. She needed to talk to someone, preferably Bonnie, but decided against it, not wanting to put her in the middle of a fight between her two best friends. She would have talked to Jeremy, but even though he was getting better, she felt somewhat estranged from him ever since his spiraling out of control the past summer. Jenna was at work. This kind of left her with only one option. She didn't know if her relationship with Stefan was at that level yet, but they had talked about so much already that she was confident she could come to him with this. She was worried about complaining to him about his brother, but then again he had been the one to warn her about Damon, so she felt like he would be the only one who would understand her concerns.

She rang his doorbell but didn't get an answer. She knew she should have called first. He probably had football practice or something else to do. Just showing up at someone's doorstep was always a stupid move. Just as she turned around to walk back to her car, she bumped into someone who had obviously come to stand right behind her. At first she was startled by the close proximity of a stranger, but then she recognized Damon's scent and then his smile. Knowing it was him instead of some random guy didn't exactly put her at ease though, and so the sigh she let out was more one of annoyance than of relief.

"Baby bro not home?" He said with a smirk on his face.

"Nope," she replied, crossing her arms over her chest and avoiding looking at him. He was immediately aware of the rejection in her stance.

"Someone's in a bad mood," he said, still standing too close for her comfort.

"Nothing escapes you," she confirmed, her arms still crossed defensively.

"What might have happened? Did my little brother stand you up?"

"No. I went shopping with Caroline," she replied, now giving him a pointed look. "Bathing suit shopping."

Damon threw her a confused look. "Did they run out of your size?"

"No, Damon. I saw what you did to her." She spat at him. He only chuckled lightly. "She's bruised all over!" Elena exclaimed.

"She's one to talk! I got scratches everywhere!" He replied, sounding reminiscent of a complaining five-year-old. Elena just looked at him, baffled. "She's the one who likes playing dirty," he states, rubbing his shoulders as if to soothe pain. "I just don't let her get away with it," he smirked at her.

"She looks really roughed up, Damon," Elena justified.

"God, let the girl have some fun. Who are you? The official upholder of moral standards for the community of Mystic Falls? I think I need to have a talk with my brother about your sex life. It sounds like it's… lacking." He grinned at her wickedly.

Elena blushed furiously. "You're insufferable!" She pressed out and then pushed past him, walking towards her car.

"How about coffee some time?" he called after her. "Maybe I can change your mind about a few things." She was walking away from him, but she just knew that he was sporting a mischievous smirk. She turned around to glare at him while unlocking her car. "Whaddayasay? Me and you and a dog named Boo!" He started laughing now, only adding to her anger. She slammed the car door and took off. Well, this had not gone as she had hoped; in any shape, way or form.

* * *

><p>When she was sitting in her room after dinner that night, the events of the day were still occupying her mind and when her phone rang, she jumped slightly. She looked at the display and smiled a relieved smile when she saw it was Stefan.<p>

"Hi," she simply said when picking up the phone.

"Hi you," he answered. She felt better already.

"I stopped by your house today."

"You did? I was at Tyler's. We had an informal team meeting but actually we just helped the Lockwoods get the house ready for some party." He chuckled.

"Oh right, the Founders' Ball," she remembered.

"A founders' ball? What is that?" He asked, sounding skeptical.

"It's this event where all the founding families gather. It's for charity. I mean by now pretty much anyone can come. It's just still called that for tradition. And of course founding family members have to attend. It's like the biggest social obligation of the year." She sighed heavily. "I had kind of hoped I could skip it, but I don't think Mrs. Lockwood will let me."

"You're a founding family member?" He asked, the amusement obvious in his voice.

"Yes. But don't you dare mock me, because you're coming with me as my date."

"Am I now?" He asked.

"Yes, if you have a suit."

"I do own a suit, Miss Elena. And I will gladly escort you to the Founders' Ball."

"Thank you very much," she smiled.

"So why did you stop by earlier?" He asked, immediately sounding more serious.

"It's nothing. I was overreacting I guess."

"Did something happen?"

Elena debated with herself for a moment if she should say something but decided against it. Her run-in with Damon had left her quite embarrassed and she just wanted to move past it as quickly as possible. "No no, don't worry." She tried to reassure him. "I was just worried about Caroline. But like I said, I guess I was overreacting."

"What did he do?" Stefan kept prodding.

"Nothing, apparently." She wasn't even sure herself.

"Elena, you don't have to protect him. Or Caroline."

"I'm not protecting him. She told me she was fine. She was quite convincing. I don't think he did anything she didn't want him to do."

"Well he can be very persuasive. I think she probably doesn't really know what she wants anymore."

"Come on, he's not hypnotizing her, or drugging her. She's not stupid, Stefan."

"I know. I know." He relented. "Just tell me, if anything else happens."

"I will," she conceded, now wanting this conversation to be over. She felt like she was being unfair because she had been just as worried a few hours ago, but she had decided to trust her friend's judgment. Who knew? Maybe Caroline did enjoy the rougher side of carnal passion. Elena didn't want to judge her best friend. And having come to this decision, she couldn't let anyone question it.

Stefan seemed to sense her mood. "Alright," he accepted. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven then?"

"Ok." Was all she answered.

"I look forward to seeing you," he added.

"Me too," she confirmed, more to get off the phone than because she actually meant it. She didn't really blame him, but she was in a bad mood right now and the thought of seeing either of the Salvatore brothers made her somewhat apprehensive. She hoped that she would get into a better mood before the ball, though. She had always loved it when she was younger and she hoped it would be the same this year.

They said good night and hung up. Afterwards she called Caroline. She wanted to apologize and let her friend know that she would support her and didn't judge her for anything. She also wanted to make a peace offering by inviting her and Bonnie over to get ready for the ball together. After two beeps the phone was picked up. "Hello?" a velvety male voice sing-songed. Elena took a quick look at her phone. Yes, she had called the right number. Then she heard Caroline giggle in the background. "Damon, give me my phone!" Elena rolled her eyes.

"May I speak to Caroline please?" She asked, not being able to suppress a somewhat annoyed undertone.

"Caroline can't come to the phone right now," he replied, the smirk audible.

"Damon, what the hell," she heard Caroline laugh in the background.

"Please?" she only said, tired of the games. Damon seemed to either relent or get bored, because he handed the phone over to her friend.

"Who is it?" Caroline asked, happily giggling.

"It's me, Elena."

Caroline's mood sobered instantly. "Oh, hi," was all she said. Elena took in a deep breath.

"Car, I wanted to apologize. I was rude earlier. It's none of my business and you know… I want you to be happy. So, I'm sorry." She waited for a reply but all she heard was giggling and something that sounded like slapping and shoving. She didn't even want to know what they were doing. Damon was probably attacking her neck or some other part of Caroline's body while she was on the phone.

"It's fine," came finally the reply. "I'm not mad."

Elena sighed in relief. "Great. Thank you." She smiled, glad this was sorted out. On the other end of the line she heard more giggling and shuffling. This conversation needed to be over fast. "Um, do you want to get ready for the Ball together?"

Caroline squealed. Elena wasn't sure if it was in reply to her question or something Damon had done, but she decided to believe it was the former. "Sure that's awesome. Gotta go now, bye," came her friend's rushed reply, before the call was disconnected.

Elena was not sure if this had gone well or not. On the one hand, Caroline really didn't seem to hold a grudge against her, on the other hand practically having to listen to her making out with Damon had made her very uncomfortable. She decided to call Bonnie to invite her over to their little get-ready-get-together. Bonnie picked up after the first ring, but her voice sounded a little strained.

"Hi Elena," she said quickly. "What's up?"

"Hey, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come over tomorrow before the ball. To get ready together. Caroline will be there as well."

"Sure, sounds great," Bonny answered quickly. "I'll just come over around…"

In that moment Elena heard the door to Bonnie's room open in the background. "Hey Bon, where's the…" the voice stopped speaking, probably interrupted by frantic waving on Bonnie's side. Elena had to smile. She would recognize that voice anywhere, she didn't need him to continue.

"Was that Jer," she asked, teasingly shocked.

"Um yeah, he let me borrow some CDs," Bonnie replied.

Elena let out a little chuckle. "Sure he did. Well, since you're coming over to my house tomorrow, you guys can just get it over with and go to the ball together."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Elena," was all Bonnie said before hanging up the phone. Elena had to laugh. So her little brother had gotten to Bonnie after all. If they were happy, she was happy. That didn't mean that she would let her friend get away with sneaking around though. Tomorrow, a long talk would be had.

* * *

><p>Bonnie was the first one to arrive for their little dress-up party. Elena opened the door with a wide grin, while Bonnie had trouble looking her friend in the eye.<p>

"Come on in," Elena greeted her with a big smile.

"Thanks," Bonnie said, clearly uncomfortable, following her friend upstairs into her room.

When Elena had closed her door behind her, she instantly turned to Bonnie, a curious gleam in her eyes. "You better spill!" She commanded.

"I don't know what to tell you," Bonnie said hesitantly.

"How about telling me when you started dating my brother?" Elena teased.

"We're not dating!" Bonnie exclaimed.

"What are you doing then?" Elena prodded.

"I don't know." Bonnie shrugged her shoulders, trying to buy some time before getting back to her answer. "He offered to help me out with a few of my spells. We just kind of started hanging out."

"But tonight he's taking you to the ball." Elena egged her on.

"But we're just going as friends!" Bonnie declared.

Elena sighed a little. "But you like him," she deduced.

"No I don't like him," Bonnie hissed, throwing a worried look towards the bathroom door, knowing Jeremy's room was just on the other side.

"He's not here," Elena chuckled. "He's out looking for a suit. He wants to look all smooth when he takes you to the ball tonight." She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. Bonnie flushed furiously. "Come on, admit it. You like my little brother." Elena poked her finger in Bonnie's direction, underlining her words with a smirk.

"I don't know," Bonnie almost whined. "Wouldn't that be weird? I'd think it was weird." She looked at Elena, almost pleadingly.

"It would be a little weird. But I just want you to be happy. I see my brother is happy." She sat down on her bed, pulling Bonnie down to sit next to her. "If you didn't worry about what people think, would you want to date my brother?" She saw Bonnie struggle with the answer. It took her a few moments before she could work up the courage and answer and even then her voice was barely a whisper.

"I think so."

Elena pulled Bonnie into a big hug. "Then that's all that matters. Let him take you to the ball as a date." Bonnie looked at her, unsure at first, but slowly a small smile crept into her eyes.

Just then Caroline burst into the room, carrying several bags filled with Elena had no idea what.

"Ladies, tonight is going to be epic!" She exclaimed, enunciating every world clearly, for emphasis.

"Definitely," Elena agreed and got up, throwing Bonnie a wink.

* * *

><p>Elena was the first one who was ready and so when the doorbell rang, she was the one to open the door. She was a little dumbstruck by Damon standing on her porch. Even though she didn't want to, she had to admit that he looked impossibly gorgeous in a suit. Everything about the suit was perfection, but being the wannabe-renegade he was, his hair was messy, contrasting sexily with the otherwise pristine ensemble.<p>

"Hello," he said with a little surprise and a lot of innuendo in his voice. "You look breathtaking." Elena was about to say something in return when he leaned in, pulled her a little closer to himself by placing his hand on the small of her back and breathed a soft kiss on her cheek. Elena couldn't stop her heart from fluttering. His warm hand on her body, his face so close to hers, his scent enveloping her, was all a little too much to take and so she had trouble keeping her voice steady as she stepped back to invite him inside.

"Um, thank you," was all she could manage.

"Caroline told me to pick her up here," Damon explained.

"Yes. She's still getting ready," Elena said, snapping out of her momentary funk. At that moment the doorbell rang again. Elena opened it, to find Stefan standing on the porch, smiling at her. She was relieved. Because he was here and also because he hadn't showed up two minutes earlier to witness her struggle with her reaction to his brother's touch. "Hi," she said, smiling back.

"Hi," he replied, pecking her on the lips. Then his eyes travelled from her face to behind her and his expression turned to stone when they landed on Damon, standing in Elena's hallway. "What are you doing here?" He questioned.

"Don't go getting all territorial on me, I'm just here to pick up my date," Damon explained. Stefan was about to say something in reply, but didn't get the chance.

"That would be me," Caroline declared from the top of the stairs and bounded down the steps to fling herself into Damon's arms. Elena turned away quickly to avoid the couple's public display of affection, only to be startled by a new arrival at the door.

"Mr. Saltzman," she stated in thinly veiled surprise.

"Hello Elena," her teacher replied, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm here to pick up Jenna… for the ball."

Elena worked on regaining her compusure as quickly as possible. "Of course," she replied. "I'll just go get her." Walking up the stairs she was shaking her head and smiling at the same time. New couples were just shooting up all around her.

She burst into her aunt's bedroom without knocking. Jenna turned around in surprise, clearly in the process of putting on the finishing touches of her make-up. "So Mr. Saltzman is here to pick you up for the Founders' Ball," Elena said teasingly.

"He's already here?" Jenna looked past her niece as if the man might suddenly materialize in the doorway behind her.

"Yes. He's waiting downstairs."

Jenna looked at her niece a little worried. "Is this ok? Is it weird?" That was the second time today someone was worried their lovelife might weird Elena out. She shook her head and smiled. "It's fine, Jenna. He seems like a good guy. I'm happy for you. I'm actually surprised it took you guys this long." She chuckled lightly and Jenna flashed her a greatful smile.

"Well, I think it's weird," Jeremy said, unexpectadly appearing behind Elena, looking dashing in a suit and sporting a teasing smirk.

"Well, you of all people certainly don't get a say in what's weird and what isn't, so Jenna, go ahead, you have the entire Gilbert family's blessing," she said, nudging her brother playfully. He nudged her back, but smiled and was obviously content with dropping the subject. Jenna looked at the pair a bit curious, but decided that getting ready definitely had priority over figuring out the kids' issues right now.

* * *

><p>The group arrived at the Lockwood mansion together and instantly attracted everyone's attention. Bonnie and Jenna feared it was because of their unusual choices for dates, Caroline was certain it was because of the eye-candy on her arm and elena supposed they just made for a pretty attention-grabbing group for all of those reasons and a few others she could think of. Like having it contain two orphans as well as the two newest additions to the Mystic Falls community, for example.<p>

Stefan, picking up on the strange atmosphere, asked Elena to dance and she happily agreed. Damon and Caroline went straight for the bar, while the other four stayed together, probably in an effort to make it seem less like they were on dates, a completely futile effort of course, but at least they were comforted by each other's presence. Stefan was a good dancer and led Elena smoothly through the couples gathered on the dancefloor. His arms held her purposefully, directing her where she needed to go as well as making sure she kept her posture. He smiled at her.

"You look very pretty tonight," he said.

"Thank you," she answered, "you look very handsome yourself." He gave her a pleased smile.

Damon and Caroline were standing off to the side, watching the dancers, each of them nursing a drink. "They look so perfect together!" Caroline sighed.

"Yes, as if they were meant for each other," Damon replied, only barely hiding the venom in his voice. Caroline however was fairly oblivious.

"Exactly!" She exclaimed excitedly. Damon rolled his eyes. He spotted Caroline's mother from the corner of his eye and grabbed the girl's hand.

"Let's dance," he said, pulling her onto the dancefloor.

Elena and Stefan turned their heads as they saw Damon and Caroline darting through the other couples. They were putting on quite the show, their heads held high and the arm connected by their interlocked fingers jutted out in front of them. They danced like there was no one else around and Elena could see the gleeful expression on her friend's face. She was obviously thuroughly enjoying herself.

"You really can't take him anywhere, can you," she said to Stefan, but she had to smile at the couple's antics.

Just then the song finished and Damon bent Caroline over, holding her securely in his arms and dipped her down until her blonde curls almost touched the ground. Then he leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. When he pulled her back up, they were smiling at each other like the room around them had disappeared. Elena shifted her weight uncomfortably. He had made her feel exactly the same way when he had told her she looked "breathtaking" and when his warm lips had lingered just a little bit on her cheek. She scolded herself for feeling that way for even a second. First of all, she was dating his brother and she liked him a lot and secondly, he was dating Caroline and she would never even dream of trying to steal her friend's boyfriend. And the way he looked at the blonde now, she didn't think she would stand a chance, even if she did try.

In that moment she saw Caroline's mother, Liz, walk over to the couple and introduce herself. Damon shook her hand, flashing her a friendly smile. All of the dangerous and flirty smirk he was usually sporting was gone, his expression was open and friendly. Elena wondered if he was putting on a show or if it had taken a girl like Caroline to break through his barriers and bring out this side of him.

"Let's get something to drink," Stefan supplied and the two of them walked off the dancefloor.

With drinks in hand, they joined the others shortly after. Stefan, ever the gentleman also offered drinks to Caroline and her mother, Elena handed one to Damon who thanked her politely but didn't pay any attention to her otherwise, completely immersed in a conversation with Liz, his hand resting on the small of Caroline's back.

"I think I will go and get some air," Elena said and left, before Stefan could offer to accompany her. She just needed a moment to cool down after the dancing and collect her thoughts.

* * *

><p>When she returned back to the ballroom she looked around, but wasn't able to spot anyone from her group. She walked over to the bar, figuring that by the time she would finish her drink, she would have found someone she knew. She was leaning on the bar, waiting for the server to notice her, when she suddenly heard a voice right behind her.<p>

"Would you like to dance?" she turned around, startled, only to be met by Damon's piercing blue eyes.

"Um, where's Caroline?" She asked, hoping this would deter him from his plan of dancing with her.

"How about after the dance we go look for her?" He didn't even wait for her reply, pulling her onto the dancefloor by her hand. When they reached the center of the dancefloor, he twirled her around and pulled her close to him. The music was slow now, not really lending itself to the same antics that Damon and Caroline had performed earlier. His hand on her lower back held her close to him, his other hand held hers, but instead of holding the arm out from their bodies, he clasped her hand to his chest, making sure her range of movement was very limited.

"Where's Stefan?" She asked, her voice embarrassingly raw.

"We'll go look for him, too," he answered, his eyes boring into hers. She swallowed, fresh out of excuses and struggling to come up with anything else to say.

"So what are you doing here?" He finally asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked back, a smug smile on his face.

"No, I mean here in Mystic Falls. Stefan told me he came alone when I met him. And suddenly you're here. Do you work? Do you go to College?"

"I'm taking a break from College," he simply said, seemingly not interested in explaining any further.

"So what are you doing here then?" She asked, not willing to let it go just yet.

"I made a promise to my brother. And I intend to keep it," he answered mysteriously.

"That's very brotherly of you," she said teasingly.

"Yes, very," he replied. Then suddenly, he released the hold on her body and twirled her out, only to pull her back in instantly and dipping her down a little, his eyes lingering on her lips. It was nowhere near as dramatic as what he had done to Caroline before, but Elena felt like it was an incredibly intimate moment.

"You're good at this," she smiled.

"I've got moves you've never seen before," he returned, giving her a flirty grin. Elena couldn't help a little laugh that bubbled out of her.

Just then the big entrance door burst open and a bunch of police officers ran up the grand staircase to the second floor. Every head turned to where the commotion was coming from. Elena and Damon let go of each other and she took a few steps closer to the staircase. Only seconds later she heard sirens outside and saw a group of paramedics storm up the stairs as well. She turned around to look at Damon who was standing behind her.

"What's going on?" She asked, But Damon had a stonefaced expression and everyone around her seemed as clueless as herself.

As she turned back around, she saw a few policemen walk back down the stairs. And they were taking Stefan with them, his hands cuffed behind his back. Elena gasped. She turned around again to speak to Damon, but he was suddenly gone. She looked around but couldn't find him anywhere. She turned back, only to lock eyes with Stefan as he was lead out the door. He looked pained at her witnessing this and broke their eye contact quickly. Elena looked around again, slowly starting to panic, but finally spotting Jenna and pushing through the crowds to get to her.

"What's happening?" Her aunt asked when Elena finally reached her.

"I have no idea. They arrested Stefan. But I don't know why." Elena felt like she was going to lose it. As she turned back around, the paramedics started walking back down the stairs, carrying a stretcher. As they passed by closer to where Elena was standing, she could make out who was lying under the covers and gasped when she recognized Caroline, obviously unconscious. Elena felt tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Did he hurt Caroline?" she heard Mr. Saltzman ask behind her, more in a disbelieving than an accusatory tone.

Elena spotted Liz walking down the stairs, clearly worn out by her double duty as mother of the victim and sheriff at the moment. Elena ran up to her.

"What happened?" She asked, as she reached the woman she had known all her life.

"We don't really know yet. And this is not the place, Elena. You can come with me to the station, if you want." She looked at her with sad eyes.

"Aren't you going to the hospital?" Elena asked, surprised.

"Caroline is heavily sedated. She won't wake up for a while. And I want to question Mr. Salvatore right away." At the last part, the woman's lips pressed into a hard line. Elena swallowed hard. So it was true. Something had happened to Caroline and the Sheriff was blaming Stefan.

"Yes, I'll come to the station," she answered quickly, knowing that the Sheriff had to go outside and give everyone directions. She would ask Jenna to take her later. Now she needed to find Bonnie and Jeremy.

* * *

><p>Jenna dropped Elena off at the station and left again to drop Bonnie and Jeremy off at the hospital. The two had decided to be everyone's eyes and ears there and let Elena know as soon as Caroline woke up.<p>

Now Elena was sitting in the station's waiting room, holding a cup of coffee, more for the comfort of holding something warm than because she actually wanted to drink it. She didn't feel like she could keep anything down right now. After what felt like an eternity, a young officer finally walked up to her and told her she could go in to see the Sheriff now. Elena scrambled to her feet and followed the young woman to her friend's mother's office. When she entered the room, the older woman motioned for her to sit down, while she closed the door behind them. She looked extremely tired, Elena noticed.

"Any word on Caroline? Bonnie is at the hospital, but I haven't heard from her yet," she inquired right away.

"No, nothing," the Sheriff sighed. "He gave her something pretty strong."

Elena swallowed. "What happened?"

"Well, what Mr. Salvatore says and what happened are two very different things. So we don't really know at this point." Liz rubbed her forehead, obviously struggling with the current situation. "I got an anonymous tip that I should go into Mrs. Lockwood's bedroom. When I got there, I found Caroline lying on the bed, unconscious." She bit back tears, clinging to her professional position to keep from breaking down. "She was practically naked, her clothes ripped off and strewn everywhere." Her voice was breaking slightly. Elena didn't know what to say, she just looked at her friend's mother, too shocked by what she was told to form any coherent thoughts. "Mr. Salvatore was leaning over her, his hands around her neck," the woman concluded.

"Stefan?" Elena breathed, not really able to believe what the Sheriff told her.

"Yes. He says she sent him a message, asking him to come upstairs. Which is true, it's still in his phone. But just because she asked him to come upstairs, that doesn't mean he didn't hurt her. He claims he found her that way and wanted to help her but it makes no sense. Who would hurt Caroline? She was drugged Elena, and Stefan was the last one to give her anything to drink."

"But he wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't hurt anyone," Elena squeezed out, tears clinging to her eyelashes.

"She was bruised all over, Elena. She was raped." The woman's chin began to quiver, tears welling in her eyes.

Suddenly Elena snapped. "No, those bruises, that was Damon." She said, clinging onto the hope that there was some reasonable explanation for everything.

"Elena, I know you're seeing Stefan and I know it's hard to believe that the people we care about are capable of horrible things, but I saw him standing over her, strangling her," The Sheriff said with emphasis. "And I've met Damon. He obviously cares about Caroline."

"Can I talk to him?" She asked hesitantly.

"Stefan Salvatore?" the other woman asked in surprise. Elena only nodded. "Elena, he will tell you that he didn't do it. And you will believe him, because you'll want to believe him. And he seems like a sincere and nice guy. That doesn't mean he's innocent."

"I know," Elena breathed. "I just want to talk to him myself. Please, Liz."

The woman sighed heavily. "Fine. I'll give you ten minutes. But then I want to go to the hospital."

"Of course," Elena agreed.

* * *

><p>Stefan looked up when he heard footsteps approaching his cell. When he saw that it was Elena, he got up instantly and walked over to the bars.<p>

"I didn't do it, Elena. I'm being set up," he said, his eyes imploring her to believe him.

"No one knows you here, Stefan, who would want to set you up?"

He looked at her for a minute, as if weighing whether he could share his thoughts with her or not. "Damon," he finally said, staring at her, traing to gauge her reaction.

She looked at him for a moment, before replying: "Stefan, I was dancing with Damon when all of this happened."

"So he made sure he had an alibi!" He exclaimed in exasperation. "You were outside, Elena, he had plenty of time to set everything in motion. He can have taken Caroline upstairs, drugged her, used her phone to send me a message saying she was in trouble. When he saw me go up, he could have told the Sheriff. Then he found you and asked you to dance, so he would have an alibi."

Elena felt a strange sting at the insinuation that Damon had only asked her to dance as part of an elaborate plot to frame his brother for his girlfriend's rape. I just sounded too outlandish. "Sheriff Forbes said she saw you strangling Caroline," she said, her voice quivering slightly.

"I was checking for her pulse, Elena. I found her that way. I wanted to make sure she was still alive." His eyes looked so sincere. Elena's mind began to swirl. She didn't know what to think anymore.

"Why would you think Damon would do such a thing?" She asked him.

"He blames me for what happened to Katherine. He wants to make me pay." Stefan spoke those words with such conviction that Elena almost believed him for a minute.

"That sounds crazy, Stefan," she finally said. "That sounds completely paranoid and insane."

"And me raping Caroline doesn't?" He yelled, hitting his hand against the bars of his cell. Elena flinched at the outburst. "Why would I want to hurt her? Why would you think me capable of something like that? And how stupid do you think I am? In a public place like that! It doesn't make any sense, Elena. Think about it." He grabbed the bars and looked at her imploringly. "Elena, how can you think I would do something like that to Caroline?"

Elena looked at him. He was right of course, it didn't make any sense. And she didn't think he was actually capable of raping her friend. But his explanation sounded just as ridiculous. Her head was spinning.

"Miss Gilbert?" The same woman officer called from down the hall. "Sheriff Forbes told me to tell you that she left for the hospital and that your time with Mr. Salvatore is up."

"Yes, thank you. I'll be right there," Elena called back. Then, turning back to Stefan, she said: "I'll check on Caroline and I guess I'll come back tomorrow." She took a step to walk away, but Stefan's hand came through the bars and grabben her arm.

"You have to believe me, Elena. You're all I have left. You must believe me. I didn't do this." She swallowed down the lump that had formed in her throat. She could not handle his intensity right now, she needed to check on Caroline.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she simply said, pulled her arm from his grip and walked out of the police station.

As the big metal doors swung close behind her and the cool night air hit her, she took a deep breath, trying to sort through all the thoughts and feelings swirling around in her brain. It was just too much.

"So, what did my baby bro do?" She heard his voice behind her. She spun around in shock. He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, one boot-clad foot propped against the wall, a stern look on his face.

She regained her composure instantly. She would not let his habit of popping up unexpectedly keep phazing her. "Well, he's being accused of raping Caroline. But according to him, he didn't do anything," she replied, also crossing her arms in front of her.

"Why is he locked up, then?" Damon questioned.

"He says he's being framed," she replied, testing the waters.

"Now, who would do such a thing?" Damon asked, pushing off the wall and walking towards her slowly.

She wasn't sure if he was trying to intimidate her, but in case he was, she wouldn't let him. "He believes you would," she stated, sticking her chin out.

"And what do you believe?" He asked her, now standing only a couple of feet away from her.

"I think both possible scenarious sound insane," she replied, not wavering. He chuckled lightly.

"Did you?" She asked bluntly.

"What? Rape your friend?" He looked at her intently, wanting to see what kind of a reaction he would get out of her.

"Frame your brother?" She asked again, perfectly aware that he was trying to get a rise out of her.

"And why would I do that?" He snarled.

"Stefan thinks you want to punish him for what happened to Katherine."

"Well, he was always creative, that one," he simply replied.

"Did you?" She asked again with insistence. She needed to know what actually happened to Caroline and she needed to know if she had been this wrong about Stefan.

Suddenly Damon closed the distance between them and his face was now only inches from hers. He glared at her angrily. "You should hope I did. Because that would mean you'd get your friend back in mint condition and you could go on with that little illusion of a relationship you're having with my brother." The words were dripping with venom.

"What are you talking about?" She asked in a breathy voice.

"You're just a replacement, Elena." He exclaimed. "He sees Katherine every time he looks at you. He's not in love with you, he's delusional!"

She looked at him in shock. "You're insane," she said quietly.

"I wish!" he bit out. "Life would probably be easier to take."

"I'm going to see Caroline now," Elena said and turned to walk away from him, starting to feel afraid of the dark-haired man.

"You do that," he said to her back while she kept moving towards the taxis that were waiting for customers in front of the station. "Tell her I said hi."

Elena didn't look around, she just hugged herself tightly and kept walking, as she felt a tear drip from one of her long lashes onto her cheek.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** __Oy vey, it is done. So, things have been set into motion now. The next chapter will bring us to a big turning point. I know this is not a fuzzy Delena fic, but I like it better when they are driven apart before they can find their way back to each other. Please let me know what you think. This one was quite rough on me. My friends on Twitter had to endure endless bitching. Lol. So any input, encouragement or productive criticism is highly appreciated. Thank you, every single one who has stuck with me this far. Cheers._


	4. Chapter 4 DISCOVERIES

_A/N: Hello all you lovely people who are still with me! Here we go again…_

* * *

><p>4. DISCOVERIES<p>

Elena walked down the hospital hallway. Caroline had not woken up all night and her mother had told the other kids to go home and get some sleep, promising to call as soon as she had any news. Caroline had woken up early in the morning and after spending some time with her, Liz had gone back to work and called Elena and Bonnie to let them know that their friend could receive visitors now. They had decided to take shifts so that Caroline would not be alone but not be overwhelmed either and Elena was the first one to visit her friend in the morning before going to school, while Bonnie would come during lunch. Clutching a teddy bear to her chest, Elena was approaching Caroline's room, feeling apprehensive, not knowing how much her friend remembered of what happened to her and if she blamed any of it on Elena, who had after all brought the brothers into her life.

When she opened the door, she saw her friend lying in bed, resting against the inclined backrest, staring out of the window. When Elena entered, she looked at her, giving her a small smile and then turning back to the window again.

"How are you?" Elena asked, knowing it was a stupid question, but one she wanted an answer to none the less.

"Ok," Caroline answered quietly.

"I brought you a new friend," Elena said smiling, walking over to the bed. Caroline turned around and couldn't help but smile at the teddy that Elena held up in her direction.

"A Care Bear?" She asked.

"For my Car Bear," Elena answered as Caroline took hold of the stuffed animal.

"And it's pink!" The blonde stated quietly but with the smile still on her face.

"Of course it is," Elena confirmed. "Wouldn't have dared to show up with anything else."

Caroline looked into her friend's eyes and smiled. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The blonde placed the bear on the little table next to her bed, while the other girl sat down in a chair nearby. For a while the friends sat in an uncomfortable silence, until Elena worked up the courage to ask what she really wanted to know.

"Do you remember?" She asked timidly.

"No. I remember dancing with Damon and then waking up here," Caroline replied in a weak voice. "Sometimes I think if I did maybe that would actually make it better. Maybe I could get mad at someone. I think anger might be better than this. Now I'm just afraid. Afraid of what may have happened."

"Car, I'm so sorry," Elena said, reaching out for her friend's hand.

"You know, I thought last night would be this great memory. I felt so happy. Now I feel horrible and I'm not even sure about what. About a ghostly what if." She shook her head slightly, forbidding the tears to fall.

The two girls sat quietly again, until Caroline took a deep breath and asked the question that Elena assumed she had been wanting to ask for a long time. Trying to feign indifference but failing miserable, she inquired: "Have you seen Damon?"

Elena bit her bottom lip slightly, not wanting to tell her friend everything that had been said the night before. "Not since last night," she finally answered. "He told me to say 'Hi'," she added. Caroline let out a short chuckle. "Maybe he'll come by later," Elena tried, but Caroline turned to her with a look that told her to stop right there.

"No he won't. Of course he doesn't want me now," she said and looked down at the hands in her lap. "I'm damaged goods." She was desperately fighting back the tears, but her lashes were glistening treacherously.

"Car, don't say that, don't even think that!" Elena protested.

Just then they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Turning their heads, they saw a young doctor enter. "I have the results," the woman said, holding up a file. "Would you mind waiting outside," she requested of Elena.

"Of course," the brunette agreed and added, turning back to her friend: "I'll be right outside." The blonde just nodded.

* * *

><p>Elena was standing in the hallway nervously. When the doctor came back out, she looked at her to see if she could gather the results from the expression on her face but the woman simply gave her a small smile and held the door open. "You can go back in now," she stated and Elena all but ran back to her friend's bed. Caroline sat in the bed sobbing, but smiling widely at Elena.<p>

"Nothing happened," she managed to say in between sobs.

"What do you mean?" Elena asked, already smiling.

"The doctor says I have definitely not had intercourse in the past 48 hours, so whatever happened, I wasn't… you know."

Elena practically jumped at her friend and hugged her tightly. "Oh my God, Car, I'm so glad!" She felt a huge weight lifted off her chest. "Then why are you crying?" She looked at her in concern.

"I'm just so relieved," Caroline replied. "I don't have to spend my life wondering about what horrible things were done to me." She gulped down another onslaught of sobs. "It's just… lying in some bed in my underwear doesn't seem so bad. In comparison." She let out a wet laugh.

Elena couldn't help but laugh with her, not being able to stop her tears from spilling either. "It's still pretty horrible," she said after a minute.

"I know," her friend replied, laughing and crying at the same time, not sure whether her relief over what hadn't happened was stronger or her sadness over what had.

"What does this even mean?" Caroline asked after a while. "Why would anyone just drug me and just… leave me there?"

"I don't know," Elena replied. Truth was she had a pretty good idea of what it meant. It meant she had to go and apologize to Stefan. "Listen, I'm going to school. But I'll come back around after."

Caroline nodded thankfully. They hugged goodbye and Elena headed for her car. She was not, however, going to school. She had a stellar attendance rate so missing one day would certainly not cause any problems. And she was sure that now that Caroline's results came back, Stefan would be released soon and she wanted to go see him as soon as possible. Before that, however, she had one other stop to make.

* * *

><p>When he opened the door, he looked slightly startled but his trademark smirk was back in place instantly and he invited her in wordlessly by holding the door open and motioning towards his apartment with his free arm.<p>

"So this is how the great Damon Salvatore lives," Elena remarked, taking in her surroundings while walking into the open living room with an integrated open kitchen to the side. "I had imagined something more dramatic. Or, you know, naked girls." She said, plopping down on his sofa.

"Oh, they're all upstairs," Damon answered, trying to figure out her intentions. He leaned against the kitchen island, his arms crossed, looking at her intently.

"You're a good actor, you know," she broke the silence after a few long moments of sizing each other up. "I actually thought you cared about her. Hell, I even thought you cared about me."

"And I gather you don't believe this anymore," he said, not moving an inch.

"Caroline's test results came back. She was untouched," she explained, enunciating the last word clearly for emphasis. He gave a curt nod and Elena wondered if it was meant to be in understanding or acquiescence. "I guess this is where I'm supposed to be thankful that my friend wasn't actually raped but my boyfriend only set up?" She said, eyeing him angrily.

"Why are you here, Elena? What do you want?" He said, pushing himself away from the counter and walking towards her in a way she couldn't help but feel to be intimidating.

"I want to know why you did it," she spat at him. "No, you know what? I don't even care why. I want to know how. How could you have done it? She was your girlfriend and he is your brother."

"She was never my girlfriend," he said leaning over her menacingly. "She was an opportunity and I took it." Elena gasped at his words.

"You're cruel," she whispered more than said.

"Life is cruel!" He shouted at her.

"No, Damon!" She yelled back, standing up so their faces were now inches apart. "Life is unmerciful. You are cruel."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he replied, leaning in.

"Why? Because your girlfriend's in a coma no one else can possibly feel as much pain as you do? What about what you did to Caroline?"

"Oh, she's fine," he said dismissively, turning around and getting a drink from the kitchen.

"She's not fine, Damon! Just because you didn't physically hurt her doesn't mean she's not hurt," Elena argued. Damon turned back around and walked up towards her again, looking her right in the eyes, weighing his words carefully, wanting them to have the desired impact.

"None of this matters to me. None of it." He said, suddenly calm.

"You hurt everyone around you! How could it not matter? It matters and you know it! Stefan's in prison because of what you did!" She spat back.

"He deserves to be in prison! He's responsible for what happened to Katherine. Just because he wasn't the one who pulled the trigger that doesn't make him any less guilty. He should have protected her."

She looked at him in disbelief. "You know, that fact that you can justify all this to yourself… that you think you're right… actually makes me sad for you," she told him with mildly veiled disgust in her voice.

"I don't need your pity," he answered in a hard tone.

"No, clearly you pity yourself enough," she said, picking up her jacket and starting to walk towards the door. Before opening it, however, she turned back around one last time. "You know, I get that you need to blame someone. And because you don't know who shot her, you blame Stefan, because it's the only thing you can come up with. But he's not responsible. If things had gone differently, you could simply have lost them both. And then where would you be." And with that she left him standing there, staring after her as she left to go see his brother.

* * *

><p>Elena wanted to go straight to Stefan's apartment, but she wasn't sure how speedily his release would happen and therefore she went to the police station instead. Today, when she asked for Sheriff Forbes, she was let in directly and Liz welcomed her with a relieved smile on her face.<p>

"Nothing happened," she said. "The results came back this morning."

"Yeah, I was with her at the hospital when she got the news. I'm so glad," Elena replied.

"Yes, me too," the older woman agreed. "She can probably come home tonight."

"That's great," Elena said with a relieved smile. "I would love to stop by later."

"Of course," the Sheriff replied and then looked at Elena for a while, as if waiting for her to say something. Finally she broke the silence again: "So, if you knew about Caroline, why are you here?"

"I wanted to inquire about Stefan," Elena answered weakly, hoping that the Sheriff's anger had dissipated with the good news. This, however, seemed not to be the case. Her lips pressed closely together as she talked.

"We had to release him. We had nothing to charge him with." Elena only nodded. "This doesn't mean he's innocent, Elena," the Sheriff added. "His story is still anything but logical. I would have liked to keep him here and investigate further, but I couldn't." She looked at Elena intently, who simply nodded again. "Look, I know you're relieved that Caroline is fine and you think that he is innocent. But I just want you to be careful around him, okay?"

"Of course," Elena acquiesced, getting more and more uneasy and wishing her friend's mother would make this less hard on her and also would just let her leave already.

Finally the Sheriff smiled understandingly and got up. "Well," she said, "I think you should be at school." And with that she went towards the door and ushered Elena out of the room.

"You're right," Elena agreed and went out the door. "I just wanted to check in with Caroline. And with you."

"Of course," the Sheriff replied, clearly not believing that Elena would head to school now, but cutting her some slack and turning a blind eye.

* * *

><p>This time when the door opened, she was greeted with a beaming smile. Stefan didn't even hesitate for a second but swept her up in a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair and breathing in her scent.<p>

"I'm sorry," she finally said quietly. "For doubting you."

"It's okay," he answered, not letting go of her.

"No. I should have believed you. I knew you would never do anything to hurt Caroline. I was just confused and scared and just… really confused," she justified.

"It's okay," he repeated. "You're here now. That's all that matters." He pulled back a little, only to gather her face in his palms and kiss her deeply. She was a little startled that he could just forgive her like this, but she was also relieved and she certainly admired him for being able to move past it and not hold her insecurities against her, so she kissed him back, wanting to reassure him and also herself that they could indeed move on as if nothing had happened and that they could put all this behind them. His kisses got more urgent by the minute and the next time he pulled back, she could see something in his eyes that excited her, but also made her chest tighten. It was a certain look of desire and expectancy that boys get right before sex and even though she did also want to sleep with him, she was again feeling that maybe they were moving at an unhealthy pace. That maybe they should first put everything that had happened last night behind them, before moving forward with their relationship. But when he took her hand in his, rubbing the back of hers sweetly with his thumb and tugging on it lightly, pulling her with him into his bedroom, she didn't want to protest, didn't want to put up any more roadblocks on their way to happiness, didn't want to create issues where there weren't any, and followed him.

He was careful, removing her clothes slowly, touching every inch of her body, almost as if he wanted to reclaim every part of her. When they were finally united, he looked into her eyes and she was again overwhelmed by the intensity she was met with. As if he wanted to pour his whole soul into her and claim her entire soul as his in return and it frightened and excited her at the same time. "I love you," he said and her breath caught for a second. He looked at her intently, obviously waiting for her reaction. He loved her? They had only just met! Damon's words suddenly popped up in her head: "He sees Katherine every time he looks at you." She pushed the thought as far away from her as possible. Of the two, Damon had obviously turned out to be the less trustworthy. And Stefan was a great guy, a guy who obviously cared deeply about her, a guy who had demons to fight, yes, but who didn't? He was definitely a guy she could fall in love with, maybe she already had, she mused. His strong arms held her reassuringly, his eyes looked at her imploringly and after what he was put through this past night and after the part she felt she had played in it, Elena felt like she owed him the reassurance he was seeking. "I love you, too," she replied with a soft smile, certain that if it wasn't true already, it would be eventually. He smiled at her widely, relief and then bliss washing over his features, and began to move again.

Afterwards, they were lying in each other's arms, each in their own thoughts. His hand was stroking her arm lazily and she was starting to feel comfortable and relaxed after the roiling past days.

"Why were you dancing with Damon?" He asked suddenly.

Elena turned around, startled, a little shook up in her sense of calm and quiet. "What?" She asked, her brows furrowed.

"When you came to the prison, you said Damon couldn't have done it because you were dancing with him at the time," he explicated.

"That's what you took from that conversation?" She asked in disbelief.

"I just want to know," he said, looking at her firmly.

"When I came back you were gone, he asked me for a dance. That's all."

He nodded a little, intertwining their fingers and looking at their connected hands, while brushing her knuckles with his thumb. Then he looked back up into her eyes. "It's just… I don't want to share you. I want you to belong to me."

Elena swallowed hard at the reference to the brothers' former weird triangle. "There's nothing going on with me and Damon. There never will be." She stroked his face, trying to reassure him. He just nodded but she got the feeling that he didn't trust her promise completely. She understood where his apprehensiveness came from, but she also couldn't help but reproach him for thinking that after all that had happened she would just run into Damon's arms. She was not Katherine, after all. She didn't know the woman and she didn't want to speak or think ill of her, but what kind of a person got involved with these brothers at the same time, knowing how much it was obviously hurting them? Stefan's insinuations made her a bit uncomfortable and, with the relaxing moment gone, she decided to change the subject.

"I'm getting hungry," she said, untangling herself from Stefan, getting up and pulling one of his shirts on.

"We could order pizza," he suggested.

"That sounds good," she said smiling. "Do you mind if I take a quick shower?"

"No, go right ahead. I'll order."

She just nodded and headed into the bathroom. She let the hot water pour down her body and relished in the slightly burning sensation. It started to relax her again. She let out a sigh, wondering if all this drama would ever be over. Would Stefan be able to get over his fear of betrayal? Would Damon leave them alone? Would Caroline be able to move past what had happened to her? She sure hoped so. She hoped that this night was the beginning of a bright future for Stefan and her.

As she stepped out of the shower, she put on her clothes and walked back into his room, where he was standing in nothing but boxers. She couldn't help but smile; he really did have a great body. He walked up to her, kissed her lightly and then proceeded towards the bathroom. "I'll take a quick shower as well," he told her. "If the pizza guy comes while I'm in the bathroom, my wallet's on my desk." He indicated the direction with his chin and disappeared in the bathroom.

Elena walked around the bedroom, not wanting to snoop, but being somewhat nosey all the same. It was the first time she was alone and could go through the books he read, the movies he owned, the pictures he kept in his bedroom, and she wanted to get to know him a little better. There was one picture of a very young Stefan in a football uniform, surrounded by his teammates, smiling brightly. Then a picture of a couple she didn't know but suspected to be his parents. The last one was of Stefan and Damon, their arms slung around each other's necks. They looked to be in their teens, smiling brightly at the camera. Elena couldn't help the sting she felt at seeing these brothers so carefree in the picture, knowing how ruptured their relationship was now. She loved that Stefan had put this picture up, though. It showed that despite all, he still cared about his brother. She hoped the same was true for Damon. She hated him right now, but she also knew the value of family and hoped that at some point the two might be able to overcome their differences. She moved on, looking at the backs of the books standing on his shelves. She had noticed that there was no picture of any young woman. She had thought she might find one of the mysterious Katherine, but she hadn't and she was wondering if that was because he had moved on or because it was too painful to look at her.

Just then the doorbell rang and Elena practically flew to the door, having really gotten quite hungry. Thank God for midnight delivery. She grabbed the two gigantic pizza boxes and tried to balance them while paying the delivery man with money from Stefan's wallet. He smiled at her efforts, thanked her for the tip and turned around, before pointing to the floor and saying: "You dropped something."

Elena spotted the little scrap of paper on the floor. It had to have dropped from Stefan's wallet as she was paying the pizza guy. She deposited the boxes on the desk and went to pick it up. Only then did she realize that it was a picture, a picture of her. She had to smile at the fact that he already had her picture in his wallet, wondering where he'd gotten it from. Then she realized that something was off. She didn't own that sweater, her hair looked shorter and she couldn't remember taking that particular photo. Her brow furrowed in confusion. She looked at the image again. It was definitely her but also definitely not her. She turned it around to look at the back, more out of confusion than because she thought she would find any valuable information there. She couldn't help but gasp. On the back of the picture figured three words, obviously written by the girl in the picture but just as obviously not in a handwriting that resembled hers: "Love always, Katherine"

Elena dropped the picture, her hands shaking. She didn't understand what this meant, this wasn't possible. There had to be some kind of explanation, some kind of reason. But for the life of her she couldn't come up with one. The room around her started spinning and she heard Stefan turn off the water in the shower. He would be out of the bathroom in a minute. She knew she wasn't able to face him now, not in the state she was in. She needed to calm down, needed to talk to someone, preferably Bonnie. She would know what was going on. She was the most levelheaded and reasonable person Elena knew, she would surely be able to make sense of this. Frantically, Elena grabbed her bag and ran out of the apartment, down the stairs, away from the apartment complex. She had no idea where she was going. Everything around her was spinning; her sense of direction was completely lost. Suddenly screeching tires halted just in front of her. She realized that she had to have run out into the street, that she had probably barely escaped being run over. She saw the shining metal only inches away from her thighs and felt her knees buckle. She tried to support herself on the hood but felt herself slipping. She heard the car door open and felt someone run up to her, felt strong arms catch her as she was just about to hit the ground. She looked up at the stranger, only the recognizing the piercing blue eyes that looked at her with unfamiliar concern. She let a single tear roll down her cheek when she realized she couldn't even summon up the will to fight him.

"She looks like me," she simply said and then, trying to stand back up, suddenly lost her hold on consciousness completely and dropped into darkness.

* * *

><p>When Elena woke back up, she was surrounded by daylight again. She felt stiff all over, her neck was hurt from being bent in an uncomfortable angle and her head was leaning against a hard surface. She opened her eyes slowly and saw blurs of colors rush by her. She started to focus her thoughts and realized that she was in a moving car. A blue car. A slight panic grabbed her and she turned around, her eyes landing on Damon sitting at the steering wheel, taking her God knows where. When he realized she was awake, he turned around to her, smiling.<p>

"Mornin'," he said easily. Elena looked around in shock and confusion.

"Where are we?" She asked.

"West Virginia," came his reply. "Just a few miles from Ohio actually."

Elena looked at him in disbelief. "Ohio? No, no we're not. Seriously Damon, where are we?"

"Seriously, we're almost in Ohio," he answered again. Elena just stared at him, not knowing what to say. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I… I don't know." She didn't know if he meant physically or emotionally but right now she wasn't really ready to discuss how she was feeling, so she decided to go a different conversational route. "Where are we going?" She asked.

He looked at her, as if deciding on whether or not to tell her the truth and finally answered: "Chicago."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Next up: ROAD TRIP! Haha :) Looking forward to writing that. I know, this was not a very nice Delena-chapter, but I promise: It gets better ;) Tell me what you thought though and I'll try and update soon. _


	5. Chapter 5 TRIPPING

_A/N: Alrighty everyone, another chapter. I hope you like it. People have been telling me I was keeping too close to the story of the show and while that was my plan, in order to get to this point, I get why it would seem lazy or boring or whatever, so I hope that this chapter strays far enough from canon and into my own story. Please let me know what you think. Also, I want to thank everyone who's still with me, I appreciate every reader and every review greatly. So, I hope you feel the love :) 3_

* * *

><p>5. TRIPPING<p>

"_Where are we going?" She asked._

_He looked at her, as if deciding on whether or not to tell her the truth and finally answered: "Chicago."_

"What?" She burst out. "No, we are not going to Chicago. Turn around, Damon!"

"I will do no such thing," he replied indignantly. "And you better calm down. I'm doing you a favor here, so be nice."

"Kidnapping me is doing me a favor?" She asked incredulous.

"Oh come on now, you're being a little overdramatic there. I haven't kidnapped you, you passed out. In my arms I might add. And now we're just going on a little road trip."

"Turn around, Damon!" She said again, with insistence this time.

"Not gonna happen," he said smugly.

"Let me out of this car!" She yelled and grabbed the door handle, trying to open it.

Damon cursed and pulled over to the shoulder of the road but reached across her when they had stopped and slammed the door shut again. "Will you calm down!" He looked at her intently. "I'm not kidnapping you; I'm just taking you to Chicago. Today's Saturday, we'll go back tomorrow, you won't even miss school." She looked at him, trying to gauge the sincerity of his words. He didn't seem intent on hurting her, so Elena relented and sank back in her seat, still looking out the window defiantly, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Thank you," he said, pulling back onto the road.

After a bout of silence, Elena spoke up again: "Why would you want to go to Chicago with me?" She asked. She was over her first surge of fear and had now moved on to trying to figure out Damon's intentions. Never an easy task.

He was quiet for a while, staring straight ahead. She was about to speak again, thinking that he might be avoiding her question, when he turned around to face her, his expression unusually serious and smugness-free. "I thought you might want to see her," he said, before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Katherine?" Elena asked. "She's in Chicago?"

"Yes, she's at Northwestern Memorial. They are the best in Neurology and Neurosurgery." His answer was curt; she could tell it was hard for him to talk about it.

She swallowed down her hesitations. "So, she looks like me?" She asked quietly.

"Yes."

"How?" She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"I think it's not really my place to have this conversation with you," he said.

"Since when do you care what your place is and what isn't?" She scoffed.

"I just thought you might want to have this conversation with someone else," he clarified.

"Who should I have this conversation with, in your opinion?" She crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance at what she thought to be patronizing tendencies.

"I don't know. Stefan?" He suggested. "Your aunt maybe?"

Elena looked at him in disbelief. "Jenna?" She exclaimed and saw him wince in reaction to her shrill voice. "She knows?" She asked more quietly, but in an equally baffled tone.

"I would suppose so," he answered, shrugging lightly.

Elena sat still for a moment, looking out of the window, trying to process this new information. How would Jenna know about some girl in Chicago that looked like her? Did she know about Stefan dating that girl? Why would she never have said anything? Elena's head was reeling. Finally she gathered enough composure to speak again.

"Fine, but neither of them are here and you don't seem willing to take me home, so it seems like you'll be the lucky one who gets to explain all of this to me."

He seemed hesitant for a while and Elena was starting to build a whole case in her head, thinking up arguments to convince him, when he finally let out a small sigh. "Fine. But not on an empty stomach." With that he turned off the highway and took them to a small diner just off the road.

When they sat in their booth and the waitress left with their orders, Elena couldn't take it anymore and demanded again: "So tell me. Why do we look alike?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her. "Really? You're not even going to let me eat my burger first?"

"I need to know, Damon," she explained, her voice pleading.

He looked at her and she could tell that he understood. "Fine. But you have to promise me two things: One, you won't blame me. And two, you won't cry." He fixed her eyes, allowing no argument.

"Why?" She asked, not sure she could promise either.

"Because people have been known to shoot the messenger, which is fine as long as the messenger's not me," he explained. "And the crying thing I just can't take. So please don't do it."

Elena just nodded in acceptance and waited for him to start. It was obvious that he wished it wasn't him she was having this conversation with. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking down at the salt shaker he was twisting around between his fingers, before taking a deep breath and answering her. "You're twins," he said and looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her reaction. She just nodded quietly. She had suspected as much. There could not have been any other explanation. It still didn't make any sense to her, though.

"Why is she in Chicago and I am in Mystic Falls? Did my parents give her up?" She asked, needing the answer to her question, but fearing it at the same time.

"Not exactly," Damon replied. Elena looked at him, urging him with her eyes to elaborate, until he finally did. "Your mother was not your real mother," he started, looking at her again, waiting how she would take it.

"What?" She gasped in utter confusion.

"Your dad was your real dad. But before he met… his wife he had a one night stand with another woman. She got pregnant but they both didn't want to be together, let alone raise a family together. Your mother wanted to go to Chicago for a job and your father had met someone. But neither of your parents wanted to give you up. So they decided to split you up and your father's girlfriend decided to raise you as her own."

"They split us up?" Elena asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Damon answered, obviously still uncomfortable. "Your mother gave birth to you in Mystic Falls and then left you with your father while she moved to Chicago with Katherine." He looked at her, hoping against hope that this conversation would soon be over.

Elena stared into empty space, trying to keep her promise not to cry. "My mom is not really my mom?" She asked, failing miserably at veiling the quivering in her voice. The man across from her just shook his head, waiting for her to overcome her emotions, praying for her to not break down. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself.

"How do you know?" She finally asked.

"Stefan told me," he simply answered, annoying her with his lack of specificity.

"How did he know then?" She asked again.

"From what he told me he had a long talk one night with Katherine's mom… your mom," he said after a short moment of hesitation. "She told him about you. She said she regretted letting you go because if she hadn't, she would have at least one daughter left now." He looked at the table. Elena was glad about that fact, since tears were starting to well up in her eyes and she was sure that she wouldn't be able to keep her promise of not crying. In an effort to do the best she could, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and took another deep breath.

"And he told you and then you guys came looking for me?" The idea was both unbelievable and disgusting to her.

"No," Damon said, seemingly glad to steer away from the heavy family talk. "He just left. I had no idea where he went. I tracked him down and when I finally found him I was shocked to say the least. Stefan was never one for the little towns. They bore him. So I knew something was up, something more than getting over Katherine or hiding from me. He would have gone to New York for that. So I watched him for a while. I watched him watching you. I couldn't believe it at first. You look exactly like her and I didn't understand why. So after he made the step to get to know you, I confronted him. And that's when I learned the whole story."

"He was watching me?" Elena looked at him in disbelief.

Damon rolled his eyes in exasperation that that was the part of his elaborate story that she felt compelled to comment on. "Yes," he sighed. "Quite the little stalker." She frowned at him for making light of a situation that was deeply disturbing to her. The idea of someone fallowing her around and watching her for who knew how long made her shiver. This explained why he had always looked at her like he knew her, why he had pursued her so directly, why he had claimed to be sure about them after such a short time. She shuddered.

"You were right," she finally said. "He does see her when he looks at me, doesn't he?" She looked at Damon who tried to avoid her eyes.

"I'm sorry I said that. I was really angry," he feigned a change of heart.

"That doesn't make it untrue," she said with determination in her voice. "He said he loved me. Last night. He said it to her, didn't he? He looked at my face, but he was speaking to her."

Damon sighed. "I don't know, Elena. Maybe he does love you. We haven't really discussed this in detail."

"But what do you think? Do you think he's moved on? Do you think he actually likes me for me?"

Damon looked at her for a long while before speaking again. "It doesn't matter what I think. What do you think?"

Elena was contemplating his words when the waitress finally came and put their food in front of them. Smelling the burger, Elena suddenly realized how hungry she was. She bit into it quickly but scrunched up her face after chewing a few times, dropped it back on the plate and picked up the top bun to rid the meat of the offending green slabs she despised. Damon looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"You don't like pickles? What's wrong with you?" He asked and grabbed the discarded vegetable off her plate.

* * *

><p>Leaving the restaurant, Damon spoke up again: "So, do you want to go to Chicago and see your sister? Or do you want to go home?"<p>

Elena didn't even have to think about it. "No, I want to go to Chicago," she said. Damon smirked.

"Well in that case, you should probably call your aunt and tell her you're fine so she doesn't call the cops. I don't want to get arrested for taking a minor across state borders." With that he handed her her cellphone.

"You took my phone?" She asked in exasperation. One step forward, two steps back, she thought.

"It was ringing incessantly!" He exclaimed in a playful tone. Elena rolled her eyes and turned it back on, being greeted by a hefty number of missed calls and messages. Most of them were from Stefan and Jenna, but Bonnie, Caroline and Jeremy had also been calling her. She heaved a heavy sigh and dialed her aunt's number.

"Elena?" She heard Jenna's breathless voice on the other end of the line.

"It's me," she replied, trying to smile while speaking.

"Oh my God, where are you? We're all so worried!" The older woman clearly tried to sound reprimanding but failed miserably, her relief creeping too obviously into her voice.

"I'm fine, really. I just had to get away for the weekend. I'll be back tomorrow night."

"No no no, you're telling me where you are right now and you're coming home right away!" Her aunt did manage to sound stern this time.

"I'm sorry Jenna, I can't do that. I really need to take care of something. But don't worry. It's not dangerous, it's not illegal and I'm under grown-up supervision." She threw Damon a look who chuckled at her words.

"This is unacceptable! Elena, you…"

"Okay gotta go now. Bye." With that Elena hung up.

"Grown-up supervision?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I couldn't very well tell her I was with you. That would have only made her more worried," she reasoned.

Damon shrugged: "Fair enough." He turned towards his car, when Elena's phone started ringing. She looked at the display but shook her head.

"Your aunt not finished with you?" He asked with a smug smile.

"It's Stefan." She said, looking at her phone. Then she suddenly held it up to him. He heaved a dramatic sigh but took it from her.

"Elena's phone?"

"Where are you?" His brother requested.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Damon asked back.

"Don't be funny Damon, if you hurt her, I will kill you."

"I think you've already done a pretty good job of that yourself," he replied smugly.

"Let me talk to her."

Damon held the phone out to Elena. "He wants to talk to you." The girl shook her head emphatically.

"You know, she doesn't really seem keen on that right now," Damon said, bringing the phone back to his ear.

"I swear to God Damon, if you do something to…"

"Yes, mhm, nice talking to you too. See you soon," Damon interrupted, hanging up the phone. He handed it back to Elena but the device only started chirping again a second later.

"See what I mean?" Damon asked in annoyance. "Incessant ringing." Elena sighed and turned the phone off again.

Back in the car, Elena stared out the window, thinking about the developments of the past 48 hours, thinking about the family that she had always believed she had and the other one that she had never known about. She pondered the concepts of truth and trust and thought she would either get a headache soon or start crying. She rubbed her eyes to relieve some of the tension.

"How about some music?" Damon suggested, turning on the radio. "Road trips need music."

"What, are you going to sing, too?" Elena teased.

"Please." He scoffed. "But feel free to sing if you want to."

"I don't sing," she answered.

"Really? I would have taken you to be a grand singer. You and blondie probably had countless sleepovers where you jumped around on your bed in your underwear and sang spice girls songs into your hairbrushes." He grinned at her, realizing too late that he had overstepped a boundary by mentioning Caroline.

Her face was set in a hard and angry expression. "You shouldn't talk about her like that," she told him. "You don't get to, after what you did to her."

"You really need to get over that," he said in a harsh tone, annoyed that they had been somewhat getting along and now she had to reprimand him again. "I don't even care enough to remember her last name."

"Well you should care!" She exclaimed. "People matter, Damon. You hurt her and it matters."

"Yeah, I bet the starving children in Africa are real shook up about it," he scoffed.

"Oh please, like you care about children starving in Africa," she spit out.

"And I suppose I should," he countered, frustrated. "And what would that do?"

"It would make you seem more human, for one thing," she replied.

He chuckled, only further infuriating Elena. "Yes, my one goal in life, convincing the Elena Gilberts of the world that I'm a good person." He laughed dismissively.

"As opposed to your other goal; making everyone around you as miserable as possible?" she spat back.

"Just my brother," he explained as if to a child. "Everyone else is just collateral damage."

"You're disgusting," she hissed.

"And we're back," he sighed. "You know, we were having a nice time actually… considering… But you just had to go and ruin it." He made a tsk sound with his tongue and shook his head.

"Unbelievable," she muttered and turned back to look out the window. She couldn't believe she had agreed to this road trip, had agreed to being locked inside the confines of this car with him for hours.

They sat in silence for a long time, Elena deep in thought and Damon fiercely annoyed. Finally he registered a change in her demeanor. He assumed it had to do with the song that was playing on the radio. It was easily ten years old, Elena was probably in elementary school when it came out, but he saw her tapping her foot lightly and her face seemed to be more reminiscent than angry. He resolved to test his theory and started tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, in time with the beat of the song. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, saw the movement of her foot get stronger and then noticed her head bobbing ever so slightly. He smirked to himself. He leaned in her direction, slowly so as to not make her aware of his movement, her attention focused on the landscape outside the window.

He leaned up to her ear and spoke in his most velvety voice: "Sing. You know you want to."

Elena whipped around, startled at his words and proximity, the surprise of being ripped out of her thoughts clearly visible on her face. She clasped a hand over her heart and let out a sigh, fighting against the surge of adrenaline. She couldn't help but smile and smacked the driver on his arm.

"Success," he said quietly, smiling at her. "I, Damon Salvatore have gotten Miss Elena to smile despite all her anger. Where is my reward?"

"You are the devil!" She said, but couldn't completely fight the smile still lingering on her face.

"Wouldn't that be fun!" He exclaimed, raising an eyebrow. Elena shook her head and looked out of the window again. He smiled to himself. She was still not talking, but the tension had eased a bit and he was more comfortable in her presence.

"What about you?" She suddenly broke the silence.

"What about me?" He asked, unsure where she was going with this.

"Dou you?" she looked at her hands nervously while speaking. "See her when you look at me?"

"No," he answered without hesitation. "I don't know how my brother does it. You're nothing like her."

He said it matter-of-factly but she thought she could also detect bitterness in his words.

"I guess that's a bad thing," she said, not knowing why she was pressing the issue.

"Yes," he replied with determination, his eyes focused on the road straight ahead. "It makes me even angrier with my brother. For being able to replace her so easily."

* * *

><p>They drove on, through Ohio and Indiana, hitting some traffic around Indianapolis, and when they finally reached Chicago, after another stop to get food, it was already evening and the sun was beginning to set.<p>

"The hospital will not allow visitors now. We'll go in the morning." Elena only nodded and Damon turned off the road and onto the parking lot of a motel.

Elena felt tired and in dire need of a shower and a change of clothes, so she went down the street to a 24-hour supermarket to get necessities and let Damon deal with the room situation. Upon her return to the motel the excessively unfriendly front desk employee handed her a room card and gave her a condescending once-over. Elena was irritated with the bad service in this establishment but found she was too tired to actually care. She took the elevator and opened her room door with a sigh, ready to plonk down on her bed and fall asleep instantly. Instead, she almost suffered a heart attack. Damon was sitting on the bed in her room, just about to take off his shoes.

"Uhm, what do you think you're doing here?" She asked him wide-eyed.

"Getting some sleep," he answered as if that should be obvious.

"Not in here, you're not," she declared.

"Uhm… yes, Elena, I am. It's my room." He looked at her pointedly.

"But…" Elena looked at her chip card again. "The girl at the front desk said this was my room." She looked at him in confusion.

He sighed. "Look, please don't make this into a big deal. They only had this one room left. Can we just go to sleep please? It's only for one night." He looked at her with tired eyes.

"But there's only one bed," Elena said desperately, pointing at the queen size monstrosity that he was sitting on.

"God, don't be such a girl. I promise not to touch you, ok? Can we move on?" He got up and threw his leather jacket on a chair.

Elena took a deep breath and decided she would get through this. She would be a grown-up about this and sleep in the same bed as Damon. He had promised not to touch her. He looked too tired to actually try anything anyways. "Well, I'm going to take a shower. So don't come into the bathroom," she said defiantly.

"How will I ever resist the temptation," he muttered without looking at her and shrugged out of his jeans nonchalantly, throwing them on the chair as well, before settling under the blanket on the bed.

Elena squared her shoulders and marched into the bathroom. The hot shower relaxed her. After spending a day in a car and having worn the same clothes for 48 hours, she had desperately needed to freshen up. She spent a long time brushing her hair and teeth and putting lotion on her legs and arms and finally felt like a human being again. She put on the shirt she had gotten to sleep in. It was the largest one she'd been able to find, but looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she still felt it didn't cover nearly enough of her thighs. She pulled it down as much as she could and took in a deep breath, trying to collect her courage before opening the door and wandering out into the motel room and exposing herself to the scrutinizing icy blue gaze of one Damon Salvatore. She didn't know what she had expected, but when she opened the door she was met with pitch black darkness. She turned off the light in the bathroom and stood in the doorframe for a few seconds, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. When she could make out shapes, she tentatively found her way to the bed and crept under the blanket carefully. She moved far enough under it to be completely covered by it, but made sure to leave a far enough distance between her and the other body occupying the bed to avoid accidental contact during the night. She settled down on her side and tried to fall asleep, but lying there in the darkness, the events of the day and the new information she had gathered came rushing at her, hitting her like a tidal wave and making her lie on the motel bed with her eyes wide open, staring blankly before her, trying to sort through the wealth of emotions. As she lay there, staring into empty space, her eyes got more and more accustomed to the darkness of the room around her and she could slowly make out more and more of her surroundings, until finally Damon's sleeping features came into sharp focus. He lay on his side, facing towards her, but obviously already fast asleep. Only now did she realize that he had not slept in two days and that he had probably passed out before she even got into the shower. She was surprised at how innocent he looked. This man, whom she knew to pretty much be a devil amongst men, was lying next to her, his eyes closed, his long lashes peeking out under a few black strands of hair that had fallen playfully into his face. His forehead was relaxed, as were all other muscles in his face. His full lips seemed to be almost pouting; his breathing came slowly and evenly. Elena couldn't tear her eyes away from the contradiction lying in front of her. She knew that the man sharing her bed, looking like an innocent, almost angelic boy, was capable of horrendous things. It made her shudder on the inside. After what seemed like a long while, she let out a breath and turned around, determined to finally find sleep.

"Mmmmh… you smell delicious," she suddenly heard his velvety voice behind her, jumpstarting her heart. "Maybe I won't be able to keep my promise after all." She felt like she should be alarmed and should probably chide him and make sure he didn't come anywhere near her, but he drawled the words so slowly and sleepily that she wasn't even sure he was awake.

"Incorrigible," she huffed instead, but couldn't help but chuckle lightly. "Hitting on anything that moves, even in your dreams." She smiled but didn't move, her back still turned to him. He didn't say anything else but let a low chuckle rumble through his throat and then his breathing returned to the calm and steady rhythm it had followed before. Elena pulled the blanket further up around her shoulders and soon fell into darkness as well.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Elena awoke to sunlight streaming in through the window and playing with the shadows on the white blanket of the bed she was lying in. She blinked her eyes open slowly, not really wanting to wake up. She heard the shower run in the adjoining bathroom and when she finally fully opened her eyes and scanned the room, she confirmed that Damon had already gotten up. She grabbed her cell phone and turned it on, wanting to send Jenna, Bonnie and Caroline a quick message to let them know everything was still alright and tell them not to worry. After she had hit send on the third message, her phone started ringing and she let out an annoyed sigh at seeing Stefan's name flash on her screen.<p>

"Hello?" She answered dismissively.

"God, finally!" He gasped.

"Have you been calling every ten minutes to make sure you got me the minute I turned my phone back on?" She asked mockingly.

"Actually I have," he answered harshly. "You're God knows where with Damon, I was worried sick!" He exclaimed.

"You're not my father. Don't exaggerate," she spat back.

"You have no idea what you're doing, going off somewhere with him. Apparently you need someone to treat you like a child because you're not able to make smart life choices by yourself," she heard him chide her over the phone.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked incredulously. "I only left because of you. I saw the picture, Stefan. Don't act like I'm overreacting."

"Oh and the first thing you did was run to Damon, of course!" He exclaimed.

"What exactly are you accusing me of?" She asked.

"Nothing. I'm just warning you. Whatever he told you, you cannot trust a word he says. Everything he does, he does with an agenda. He's just using you."

"Oh really?" She asked. "So Katherine is not my sister? And you weren't stalking me before we even met?"

"Elena, it's not like that. I love you. You know that," he said pleadingly.

"No, Stefan, I don't know that," she answered sadly.

"Don't let him come between us, Elena. Don't let his lies poison you. Don't let him get to you."

Elena heaved a heavy sigh, not knowing what to say to him.

"Are you sleeping with him? Is that it?" He asked and Elena gasped in horror at the accusation. Just then, the door to the bathroom opened and Damon walked out in nothing but a towel that was wrapped dangerously low around his hips. A few drops were falling from his hair onto his naked torso and left glistening trails on his creamy skin. Elena tugged her shirt down uncomfortably and looked away from him quickly, but when she spoke again, she realized that her voice sounded dangerously raspy.

"Of course not," she said, hoping her short bout of irritation didn't make her sound less convincing.

"Sorry, I thought you were still asleep," she heard Damon's voice and looked back at him with wide eyes. Why did he have to speak now? "I forgot my pants," he said, grabbed his jeans and disappeared in the bathroom again. Elena clasped her hand over her eyes, knowing what this must have sounded like to Stefan. She heard him draw a deep breath on the other end of the line.

"I guess that's all the confirmation I need," he said and before she could finish her "It's not like that"-reply, he had hung up on her.

Elena let out a groan and let herself fall back onto her pillow. She switched the phone off again. Obviously nothing good came from leaving it turned on. The bathroom door opened again and Damon stepped out, now fully clothed and threw her an apologetic look.

"Everything ok?" He asked.

"No. That was Stefan," she said by way of explanation.

"I assume he misinterpreted my looking for my pants?" He ventured.

"You assume correctly," she answered in a reprimanding tone.

"Shame," he said and couldn't hide a pleased smirk that formed on his lips.

* * *

><p>Finally they were standing in front of the imposing form of Northwestern Memorial. She looked up at the large expanse of windows stretching up towards the sky. She took in a shaky breath. This was it. She was going to see a girl that looked exactly like her, her sister that she had never even known existed. She threw Damon an uncertain look.<p>

"You ready?" He asked her and she could tell that he was nervous himself. She only nodded and the two made their way into the hospital building. Damon knew exactly where to go. She wondered how many times he had come here to visit his girlfriend who was lying in a bed, alive but still out of reach. She noticed his clenched jaw and the determination he carried in his shoulders. He led them through a maze of corridors and elevators, walking quickly, making it strenuous for Elena to keep up. Finally he stopped at a registration desk.

"Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert," he said to the nurse manning the desk. "We're here to visit Katherine Pierce."

She looked into her files and then up at him with an uncertain look. "Just a moment please," she finally answered and disappeared in a back room. A few minutes later a different nurse came out and smiled widely at Damon.

"Mr. Salvatore, how are you?" She asked. "It's been a while."

"Yes," he answered, smiling back at her with a smile that Elena had rarely seen on his face. It was an open smile, one that looked almost as if her were smiling at an old friend. "I moved away. But I'm here for the weekend and we'd like to see her."

"You know I can only let you in with a family member," she replied, obviously sorry for not being able to wave him right through.

"Well," Damon turned around and indicated Elena with a wave of his head. "She clearly is a family member, so…" The nurse looked at Elena and then back at Damon and then fixated Elena again. Finally she glanced back up at Damon's eyes with an uncertain look. "Can we go in now?" He asked and smiled even wider.

"Uhm… sure, I guess," the nurse answered. "If you would just sign in here." She handed both of them papers to fill out and then let them move past the registration desk.

They moved down a long hallway and suddenly Damon turned to his right, opened a room door and just strode right in. Elena stood in the doorway, having to collect herself before being able to enter the room and face her real life mirror image. Damon was standing next to a bed that stood by the window. Flowers stood in a vase on the bedside table. He looked at Elena intently, almost as if he didn't dare to look down at the girl that lay in the bed next to him. Slowly, she took careful steps into the room, nearing the bed. She was startled by the sound of the door closing behind her and stopped momentarily, before continuing on her quest. At first she only saw long brown hair amongst the light blue linen sheets, an arm that was protruding from the blanket and connected to an IV, then she could slowly make out her features. Elena gasped and only stared at the girl lying in the hospital bed. It was like she was looking down at herself. Even she thought that the two of them looked identical. Even the other girl's hair had grown out by now. She stared at her sister for a short moment and then felt her knees get weak and so she sat back in a large chair that was positioned next to the bed. She looked up at Damon who was still looking at her intently, instead of her twin, resting on the pillow.

"She looks exactly like me," she breathed out.

"Yes," he simply answered, sizing up her reaction.

She let her eyes drop back to the sleeping girl and saw that now he, too, lowered his gaze. When she looked back up at him, his expression had completely changed. It had become soft and caring, with a trace of longing in it as well. He looked like the whole world around him had disappeared as he slowly extended his arm and let one of his fingers ghost softly over the girl's cheek. Elena stared at him in disbelief. She had never seen this loving side of him and it didn't fit into her impression of him and therefore she had trouble placing it. Then, as if he had suddenly become aware of her presence, he snapped his hand back and looked at Elena, almost sheepishly.

"When was the last time you were here?" She asked.

"It's been a while," he said, sitting down in a chair opposite her.

"Is that why you took me here? Because they wouldn't let you in without a family member?"

Damon chuckled lightly and shook his head. "I could just ask her mom. She lets me visit her whenever I want to. She likes me."

Elena stared at him, unable to hide her surprise. "She likes you dating her daughter?"

He laughed again. "Hard to believe?" He asked, his face adorned by the wicked smile she had gotten used to.

"A little, yeah," she replied, knowing there was no use in sugarcoating things.

"Well she knew me at a different time," he only answered by way of an explanation.

In that moment the door opened and a woman in her forties with slightly wavy brown hair burst into the room. She looked at the pair, but her eyes quickly fixated on the girl sitting in a chair who was looking back up at her in confusion.

"Elena?" The woman said, her voice shaky.

"Yes?" Elena answered, glancing over at Damon for reassurance and when he didn't seem perturbed, her eyes wandered back to the strange woman in the doorway.

"I'm Charlotte. Your mother."

* * *

><p><em>AN: dun… dun… dun… alright, so far for now. Tell me what you think. Reviews make me write faster, I think, so please click that little blue button. Also, I'm still learning and experimenting, so any criticism you can throw my way is equally appreciated. Final also: I also want to try my hand at a more fluffy fun fic called "Saving You", so if this one gets too angsty or emotional for your taste, check that one out :) thanks for reading. Hearts everywhere, Dawn_


	6. Chapter 6 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

_A/N: whoah… so this is… not my favorite, I gotta say. I had a tough time getting this out. I don't even know why, but it just wouldn't come. Which is why it took so long for me to update. Sorry about that. But here it is. Hope you enjoy it regardless. The next chapters will be more interesting again, I promise :) oh and also, I don't know if you have to say this every time, but obviously I do not own the Vampire Diaries or any of the characters. I mean, come on... have you seen the last episode? ;)  
><em>

* * *

><p>6. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE<p>

Elena rose to her feet in an instant, shocked upright by the woman's revelation. This was her mother. Until 24 hours ago she had never even heard of this person. She had had a mother. A mother whom she'd loved and who had loved her unconditionally in return. A mother who had been everything a mother should be and whom she missed dearly. And now this stranger was standing before her who had carried her in her womb, who had given birth to her and held her and who had then given her up and not thought about her again for seventeen year. One day ago she had had a brother and parents who had tragically passed away and now she had a new twin sister who was lying in a coma and a new mother who was right now looking at her expectantly.

The woman started walking up to Elena with quick steps and Elena thought she might want to embrace her, judging from her posture. She didn't think she'd be able to handle that right now and so she leaned back almost imperceptibly and stuck her hand out quickly. She could see the flicker of disappointment on the woman's face but it disappeared just as quickly and she shook her hand with a warm smile. "I'm so glad to finally meet you," the older woman said and Elena thought that that was probably the strangest thing a mother could say to her daughter.

"Me too," she replied, smiling timidly, glancing over at Damon who was eyeing the exchange and had gotten up politely. The other woman turned around, following Elena's line of sight and smiled widely at Damon, walking up to the young man with open arms.

"Damon," she exclaimed. "So good to see you again."

He smiled back at her just as widely and embraced her tightly. "You too, Charlotte. It's been too long. I'm sorry I haven't come here since the move."

"Don't worry. I'm just glad to see you now," she replied as the pair let go of each other. Elena couldn't help but stare at them in disbelief. Who was this man? Was he playing a part now? Was he being sincere? She couldn't tell and it unnerved her immensely. Usually she had a pretty good grasp on people but with Damon everything was confusing. He seemed incredibly and brutally honest while at the same time being one of the most conniving people she'd met. He could switch from playful to intimidating, from flirtatious to menacing in an instant. He seemed capable of incredible love and dedication but also of inflicting unbelievable pain without flinching. She was never able to anticipate how he would react, she never knew what he felt, she never understood what he thought. The more time she spent with him, the more he turned into an enigma.

Charlotte turned around again and glanced somewhat uncomfortably between Damon and Elena, until she finally asked what she had seemingly wanted to know the whole time. "Are you with Elena now?" She obviously tried to sound casual instead of inquisitive, but she was visibly somewhat nonplussed.

"Oh no," he replied nonchalantly. "She's with Stefan actually. I just took her on a little road trip."

Elena felt herself turn bright red and saw the questions in the woman's eyes, but thankfully she had too much tact to address the issue right then and there and instead she smiled at the girl before her again.

"Well I'm glad you did," she said warmly and smiled at Elena. "I would love to get to know you. Would you like to have lunch with me? In the cafeteria?"

Elena looked at her, uncertain for a moment. Her eyes flickered up to Damon and then back to the woman standing in front of her.

"I know it's all very sudden," Charlotte hurried to say. "But I assume you'll be leaving again soon and I would just really like the chance to talk to you. Even if only for a little while."

Elena swallowed down her anxiety and nodded lightly. "Sure, that'd be nice," she said with a slight smile. The older woman smiled in obvious relief and turned to Damon.

"Would that be ok?" She asked him.

He gave her an understanding smile and nodded. "Sure. You girls have girl talk, I'll wait here."

"Thank you," Charlotte replied, giving his hand a quick squeeze and then led Elena out of the hospital room.

The older woman knew her way around the hospital hallways just as well as Damon had and it made Elena once again think about how many days these people had come here and waited at the patient's bed. How many hours they had cried, how often they had eaten in the cafeteria, not wanting to go home and leave her. And she thought again about how she had not been a part of any of it, even though this was her closest family.

The two women grabbed food from the hospital cafeteria, more for sustenance than appetite and sat down at one of the white tables in the brightly lit room. Patients in hospital gowns, visitors with anxious looks on their faces, tired nurses in scrubs, were shuffling through the enormous space and Elena tried to follow each of them with her eyes in an effort to avoid an actual conversation with her mother. But she realized that she had to speak at some point and so she turned around to the woman sitting in front of her, threw her a small smile and was met with a wide and relieved one in return.

"I'm really so glad to finally have a chance to get to know you, Elena."

The brown-haired girl looked around uncomfortably again and then back into her mother's eyes, which looked at her pleadingly. Elena wanted to get to know this woman, wished she had known her her entire life, really. But resentment still pulled at the back of her thoughts. "You could have gotten to know me for seventeen years," she replied, half accusingly, half defeated.

"Oh no," the other woman said, shaking her head slightly. "I know how it must seem. But it's not that I didn't want to know you. I did. So much. Not a day went by that I didn't think about you, wondered how you were and who you'd grown up to be. But we had a deal, your father and I. And you have a mother. I didn't want to come in between that." Elena noticed that Charlotte lifted her hand up ever so slightly, as if to touch her, but then dropped it again almost instantly, probably sensing that she might be overstepping her boundaries. "But I'm so glad they let you come now," she smiled warmly.

Something inside Elena constricted slightly. "They didn't exactly let me come," she mentioned, almost too quiet to be heard.

"Did you not tell them you were coming here?" Charlotte asked, clearly uncomfortably.

Elena felt a first tear fight its way out of the corner of her eye and finally drop on her cheek. "They passed away," she whispered, unable to say the words out loud. Still, after all this time, it hurt too much. And even though she had been getting much better, the emotional roller coaster that were the past days was taking its toll on her nerves and she couldn't hold the salty drop back.

"No," Charlotte gasped and clutched one hand over her mouth, the other now finding Elena's instinctively, grasping it tightly. Elena was surprised at how comforted she actually felt by the little gesture. She had thought that it would be uncomfortable, but the smooth skin and soft grip actually soothed her nerves and she smiled thankfully. "I'm so sorry, Elena. I didn't know," the woman said, sincerity and pain obvious in her voice.

"It's ok," Elena supplied with a small smile. "It was an accident. It happened a few months back."

"I wish I had known," the older woman now said. "I wish I could have been there for you."

Elena looked at her for a short moment, gathering her courage before finally speaking: "Maybe you could be there now," she said, not daring to look into her mother's eyes. And then she felt warm arms surround her and hold her tightly. And even though the woman holding her was actually a complete stranger, Elena felt safe and the embrace felt natural.

"Of course," her mother said and Elena thought she detected a quivering of unshed tears in her voice. "I will do anything I can. You can stay here if you want, or… I don't know. Whatever I can do, I will."

Elena heaved a heavy sigh and relaxed against the woman holding her. "Thank you," she said quietly and then slowly pulled back, smiling gratefully. "I can't stay here. I have to go back home. I have school and I have to take care of my brother. And my aunt will be worried." Charlotte nodded understandingly. "But I would like it if we could stay in contact. Maybe we could talk on the phone, maybe I could come back here some time for a weekend or something."

"Yes, I would love that," came the enthusiastic reply and the two smiled at each other and returned to their food. After a bout of relative silence, the older woman spoke again: "So, tell me about yourself. Your life." She looked at her daughter encouragingly.

"I don't know, there's not much to tell. I'm a senior in high school. I used to be a cheerleader, but I stopped after the accident. I was just getting back to normal after everything, and then all of this happened."

"So your parents never told you?" Charlotte assumed. Elena just shook her head. "How did you find out?" Charlotte prodded carefully. Elena took in an uncomfortable breath. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's ok." She smiled again, reassuring Elena that it was entirely her decision how much she wanted to divulge.

Elena braced herself and shook her head. She knew she would leave again soon and she wanted to make as much of the little time she had with her mother as she could. She herself had so many questions that she wanted answers to and she decided that this was not a time she wanted to waste being timid. She wanted to be as open as possible, hoping for as much openness in return. She figured that after many wasted years, that was the best shot they had at ever getting to know each other.

"I found a photo of Katherine in Stefan's wallet." Charlotte just nodded. "And then Damon told me."

The other woman waited for Elena to elaborate. But when she didn't, she decided to ask the question she had been dying to ask: "It's none of my business, but… how did you and Stefan end up together?"

Elena smirked uncomfortably but started relaying the whole story to her mother. She told her how she and Stefan had met and seemingly hit it off right away. She told her what Damon had told her about how Stefan had found out about her and sought her out. And then she recounted the last hours, how she had found the photo, how she had simply run away, how Damon had almost run her over and then decided to take her to Chicago. Charlotte nodded, deep in thought, probably trying to merge Elena's account with how she knew the boys in question. It was obvious that she didn't really know how to respond and what to make of what she was told. She remembered having mentioned Elena to Stefan. But never in her wildest dreams had she imagined he would go off and look for her, let alone start a relationship with her. The same questions that had been plaguing Elena were now swimming around her mother's head. Had he just been curious about her, met her and then fallen in love with her? Or was he somehow trying to replace Katherine? Charlotte frowned lightly, not knowing how to respond.

"Can I ask you something?" Elena questioned.

"Sure," the other woman replied eagerly. "Anything."

"Did you know she was dating them both?" Elena asked. This question had been burning her, ever since she had seen the woman interact with Damon. What had she thought of the whole situation? How had she handled it? How had she felt about her daughter's role in all of this?

"Yes I did," she said with a smile. "It wasn't a secret. They told me quite quickly and I met them both."

"Didn't you think it was strange?" Elena questioned again. She could accept that more adventurous people in big cities might date differently than her, have different moral values, but she couldn't help but feel like this situation was particularly odd, given that the two men in question were brothers.

She pondered this for a while. "At first, yes. When she told me I thought it was the craziest thing I had ever heard. But she seemed so sure about it. She loved them both equally, she said. She couldn't choose. And they didn't make her. They are wonderful boys. They were good for her. So I grew to think they had the perfect arrangement."

Elena's head was reeling. This woman thought that the weird relationship had been a perfect arrangement? And she thought they were both wonderful boys? Did she not know what Damon was capable of? "They were good for her?" she only asked, not knowing where to start in trying to understand this whole situation.

"Of course. Yes, Stefan was a bit reserved and he's always so serious. But he grounded her and balanced out Damon. And Damon, I mean, you know him. You know how charming he is. He could whisk anyone away. I probably had a little crush on him myself." The woman laughed lightly and Elena stared at her in half shock. "They just complement each other. Damon has this passion and energy, he's adventurous and daring and fun. And Stefan I guess is more soulful, calmer, he has an intensity that comes from thorough reflection. I would say Stefan follows his head while Damon follows his gut. And Katherine follows her heart. And since her heart was stuck between these two men, that's where she remained. The three of them together just made sense. When you knew them, you couldn't deny it. She was good with both of them. That was the happiest time of her life." Charlotte smiled wistfully.

"But what about Stefan and Damon?" Elena couldn't help but ask. "How could she love them and hurt them at the same time?"

"It wasn't like that," Charlotte replied. "They were all happy. They had an understanding and it worked. I was surprised when she first told me about it, but I've never had reason to doubt it. There were no fights, no jealousy."

"Well there are now," Elena returned. Charlotte looked at her questioningly. "Their whole lives are about their relationship with Katherine. They're both consumed by it. And they hate each other."

"No," she whispered, the exclamation little more than a breath she let out.

"They're not well," Elena explained. "Stefan came to look for me. He never told me about Katherine. We've met only a short while ago but he told me he loves me. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing. And Damon has done nothing but wreak havoc. He's lashing out at everyone. He hurts people."

Charlotte looked at her sadly. "But he seemed fine earlier."

"He always seems fine," Elena replied. "I don't think he ever is, but I don't know."

"He was such a sweet guy," Charlotte reminisced. "Yes, a bad boy, always mischief on his mind, always pushing the boundaries, pushing everyone to their limits. But he would have done anything for Katherine. Once you earn his trust he is the most loyal friend you can have. I can't believe he would intentionally hurt anyone."

Elena considered her mother's words for a while. "I just can't figure out how everything got to this point," she finally said. Charlotte nodded her head.

The two women kept talking for a while. They tried to talk about each other as much as possible and to not broach the topic of Katherine and the brothers too much. They tried to get to know each other apart from the drama. Elena was surprised at how well she could talk to this woman, how comfortable she felt, how easy it was to trust her.

"We should go back," Charlotte said finally. "Visiting hours will be over soon." And the two of them walked back up the myriad of clean white hallways to the girl sleeping in her bed indefinitely and the man watching over her. When they reached the door to Katherine's room, she could hear Damon laugh. It was a wholehearted laugh, one that she couldn't remember hearing from him and it made her smile. It made her think of the man that her mother had described. The one that was daring and fun and carefree and she hoped that she would get a chance to meet him. That maybe this trip and seeing Katherine again had helped him and that he would refrain from creating any more mayhem when they were to return to Mystic Falls. She knocked on the door and opened it with a smile. He was sitting in a big chair next to the bed, leaning back, his face relaxed, a smile toying around his lips, apparently talking to the girl lying in the bed. But when he saw Elena enter, his expression suddenly changed. First to one of surprise and then to one that Elena could only interpret as anger. And it pained her that he could obviously be happy and easygoing but reserved disdain and contempt for her.

"Visiting hours are almost over," she said quietly.

Damon got up abruptly and picked up his jacket. He only glanced over at Katherine with a pained expression and walked quickly past Elena and out of the room. When he was in the hallway, he turned around to her. "I'll just say goodbye to Charlotte, then we can go," he said, indicating the woman in question, who was standing down the hallway talking to a nurse, with his head. Elena nodded and walked into the room to take a last look at her sister. She walked over to the bed and looked down at her mirror image lying between the starched sheets. Despite the tubes, IVs and machines she was hooked up to, she looked like she was simply sleeping and Elena shuddered at the thought that this was an indefinite sleep, that she might never wake up, that she might never be able to actually meet her, even though she was able to see her and even touch her now. She took her hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze.

"I'm Elena," she said quietly. "Your sister. I would have loved to meet you." And with that she slowly walked out of the room.

When she stepped into the hallway, she saw Damon and Charlotte talking further down by the nurses' station. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but they were both gesticulating wildly and Elena thought they might be fighting. She wasn't sure if she was to interrupt them or if she should stay back and let them finish their discussion. She took a few hesitant steps in their direction. Then she saw Damon put his hand reassuringly on the woman's arm and she, after seemingly wiping a tear off her face gave him a sad smile and pulled him into a tight embrace. When they let go of each other, Charlotte turned her head and caught sight of Elena, smiling at her, which Elena took as an encouragement to approach the pair.

"It was so great to finally meet you," Charlotte said, pulling Elena into a farewell-hug. "Call me when you get home."

"I will," Elena assured her, relishing the warm embrace. "Thank you for the talk." The two pulled away and smiled at each other. Elena turned and hurried after Damon who had already walked over to the elevator.

* * *

><p>Sitting next to each other in the car, on their way back to the motel, they didn't say anything. Elena felt the same tension roll off of the man driving that she had picked up on ever since she came back from her talk with Charlotte and walked into Katherine's room. She couldn't place it. She felt there was a discrepancy to his cold demeanor now and how they had gotten along before they went to the hospital. But she assumed that seeing Katherine must have been difficult for Damon and she decided to not push his buttons tonight, but just check out of the hotel and then drive home as quickly as possible.<p>

As they were pulling into the parking lot, Damon finally broke the silence. "We'll stay another night," he said determinedly, not leaving any room for discussion.

"But I have school tomorrow," Elena tried meekly.

"Well it's already getting dark and I'm not driving all night so suck it up. This is not a discussion."

Elena was annoyed but realized that there was no point in arguing this issue with him. So she decided to broach another topic. "Are you mad at me?" She asked as they stepped out of the car.

"I'm not mad at you, Elena. Get over yourself." He replied sourly.

"Well are you upset about something else then? Did something happen?" She asked, hurrying after him towards the entrance. Why couldn't she just let it go?

Suddenly he turned around so that she almost bumped into him. "What did you tell Charlotte about what happened in Mystic Falls?" He challenged her, glaring.

Elena swallowed hard. Was that what the fight in the hallway had been about? Had she overstepped her boundaries by telling Charlotte that he was off the rails and lashing out? But she composed herself quickly. "If you don't want people thinking you do horrible things, maybe you should not do horrible things," she returned.

"This is not about my ego, Elena! Charlotte's got enough to worry about without worrying about me, too." Without waiting for her reaction, he turned around and stormed into the reception area, declaring to the same unpleasant girl at the desk that they would be staying another night. Elena was standing behind him uncertainly, waiting for him to finish the paperwork. "Go up to the room," he told her without turning around, concentrating on the form he was filling out. Elena was about to protest but changed her mind and figured she would try and have a reasonable conversation with him when he got up to the room, hoping that he would have calmed down by then.

Elena was milling around the room, almost a bit nervous, when Damon came in and went straight to the bathroom, locking the door behind him without even looking at her. Elena sighed heavily and plopped down on the bed. This would be the most horribly uncomfortable evening of her life. She could just see it. And there was nothing she could do. She wanted to call Bonnie or Caroline, even Jenna, anyone to talk about what had happened today, talk about her mother and her sister. But her phone batteries were dead. She wanted to write in her diary, but that had to wait as well. If in addition to being emotionally spent, she would have to deal with angry Damon, she didn't know how long she would last. She leaned against the headrest of the bed and pulled up her knees, resting her chin on them and turned on the TV in an effort to drown out her thoughts and numb herself until she would fall asleep from exhaustion, hoping that tomorrow would come quickly and hopefully not be as emotionally charged as today had been.

After a while, the bathroom door opened again and Damon stepped out, his hair still a little wet and falling over his forehead haphazardly. "I'm going out," he announced, stuffing the room's keycard and his wallet into his pockets.

"You're going out?" Elena asked incredulously. "Now?" He didn't even acknowledge that she was talking. "With whom?"

"Rebekah," he answered, walking back into the bathroom to put his towel back.

Elena pondered his reply for a second before realization hit her. "The girl at the front desk?" She exclaimed.

"The very one," he said, walking back into the room, looking around for his jacket.

"You're going out now? After sitting by Katherine's bed all day? And with that skank?" Elena almost shouted.

He looked at her in fake amusement. He hadn't expected her to resort to name calling. Honestly, Elena hadn't expected it herself. She didn't know why she disliked the girl that much. She almost felt bad about it. But she was still shocked that Damon was now leaving to go on a date with her. "My, my, Elena, are you jealous?" he purred, walking up to where she was kneeling on the bed slowly, transfixing her with his eyes.

"Oh please," she spat at him. "You have serious ego issues."

"Oh please yourself," he returned, his voice still silky smooth, leaning over her like the predator she knew he was. "I've seen the way you look at me. The blushing, the coy smiles. If you want to be a liar, Elena, at least strive to be a good one." With that he snapped back up, turned his back towards her, walked over to the door and left without saying another word.

Elena was stunned. She didn't know what to do or think. She was angry with Damon but also with herself, for letting him get to her the way he did. For not being able to let his attacks bounce off her like she should. TV wouldn't be enough to numb her now, so she turned off the lights and decided to try and sleep. After a while she fell into fitful darkness.

* * *

><p>Elena awoke the second the little electronic door opener clicked, indicating that Damon had swiped his key card. He entered quietly and tried not to make a sound while getting ready for bed. Elena lay still, pretending to be asleep, too worn out to try and restart a conversation with him. After a while the shuffling stopped and she felt the mattress shift under the weight of Damon lying down on the other side of the bed. When he lifted the covers to crawl under them, she caught a whiff of sickeningly sweet perfume and even though she wasn't romantically interested in Damon, the thought of where he had just been, the smell of that girl still lingering on his skin and him now lying inches from her, made her feel sick. She had been lying facing in his direction and now felt the strong desire to turn around so as to face away from him, but didn't dare to move, wanting to keep the illusion of being asleep intact. She tried to fall back asleep, but a strange apprehension was tugging at her and making her restless. After a while she couldn't take the tension anymore and slowly opened her eyes, only to be met straight on by two blue pools staring back at her. She was startled but didn't move. Damon didn't show any reaction to her awakening either. He just lay still, looking at her intently. She didn't dare to speak. Finally, after a long bout of silence, Damon spoke.<p>

"I'm sorry. About yelling at you."

She nodded. "It's ok," she said.

"No," he answered, shaking his head. "I was in a bad mood and it wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." She simply nodded again, not sure where this was coming from and how to react to it. "I just…" he started again. "After today I just couldn't go lie in the same bed with you. I couldn't handle it."

Elena held in her breath, shaken by his revelation. "Because I look like her," she ventured a guess. He didn't reply but just kept looking into her eyes intently. She remembered how he had told her that he didn't see her sister at all when looking at her. But she supposed that after spending the day with Katherine, sharing his bed with her mirror image was more than he could take. She was now more certain than ever that Stefan was not in love with her for her sake and she was surprised that this realization didn't hurt as badly as she would have expected it to. "You could have talked to me," she offered, wanting him to know that he didn't have to hide his pain from her. He gave her a sad smile.

"I'm not your friend, Elena. Don't try to be mine."

"Everyone needs friends, Damon."

"I don't want any," he replied, his gaze still on her.

"The day will come when you will. I hope that someone will still be around by then," she said quietly.

"Not very likely, is it?" He replied with a tired smirk.

"No," she replied quietly, not able to look away from him.

"Go to sleep Elena," he said with a smile. "We're going home in the morning."

She nodded and closed her eyes, wondering if he was sleeping or still looking at her, but not daring to open her eyes to check.

* * *

><p><em>AN: so there. More roadtrip in the next installment and then shit gets real. Lol. Please please tell me what you think. It won't get better if you don't tell me what to improve :) also it simply makes me very very happy to hear from you and so as you're all such philanthropists, that should be reason enough :) much 3 to y'all for sticking around and especially to the lovely NyEspi and Katy5219 who are both amazing writers and I love them so much for their input and for fangirling with me and if you haven't read their stories your life is not as awesome as it could be, so get to it and soon! _


	7. Chapter 7 CRUSHED

_**A/N: Hello, lovely people! Thanks so much to anyone who's still with me and especially to those who review and talk to me, you have no idea how much it means to me! You're all so awesome! Alright, I actually had a great time writing this so I hope you enjoy reading it as well.**_

* * *

><p>7. CRUSHED<p>

Elena awoke slowly, only registering the warm sunlight on her face at first, then the comfort of the blanket around her body. She felt relaxed, enveloped in soothing sensations: soothing smells, soothing warmth against her skin, the soothing, even breathing of someone next to her. She stirred only a little, not even fully awake yet but was startled awake instantly. Her movement had brought her to the realization that her chest was pressed firmly against something warm, immobile and solid, something that, as she realized now, expanded slowly and regularly. Her arm was draped around it and held there. Her eyes snapped open and landed on the tousled black curls in Damon's neck. She was lying so close to him that she would have only had to shift forward the smallest bit to bury her nose in his raven locks. Her arm was wrapped around his torso and his hand lay on her wrist gently, holding it in place. She felt panic rise up in her and her heart started to speed up significantly. He was wearing a shirt now, but the image of his naked chest as he stepped out of the shower the day before sprang into her mind and the realization that her hand was resting on those abs, that her fingertips could brush over them now, if she just decided to move them, brought hot flashes to her face. How had this even happened? She had made sure to lie as far away from him as possible. How could she have crawled up to him in her sleep und clutched him so tightly. Her face grew a darker shade of red as she prayed to any power that might hear her that he had not woken up, not realized how she was clinging to him in her sleep. His hand was still resting on her wrist, holding her in place. Had he woken up, he would have moved her, she reasoned, would probably have made her feel real bad about it, too. She was begging that she was right. As slowly as possible she scooted backwards inch by inch and extricated her arm from his grasp, constantly in fear that her movement might wake him. But he lay perfectly still, breathing regularly and she thanked the heavens for having at least this little bit of mercy with her. Slowly and quietly she got up, grabbed her pair of jeans and a shirt and headed into the bathroom. Only after she had closed the door, did she allow herself to breathe again. She leaned back against the hard wood and rested her head against it, closing her eyes in disbelief. She pushed herself off the door and pulled the shirt she had been sleeping in off over her head. She was instantly enveloped by his scent that had apparently been soaked up by her shirt. She flushed again. The receptionist's perfume smell that had bothered her the night before was gone; all that was left was the smell of Damon and a hint of his shampoo. Why did he have to smell so good? She wanted to growl in frustration or hit something, and hard, but was still too afraid to make a sound. So instead she dropped everything and jumped into the shower, letting the hot water pour over her and wash away her anxiety.

Damon lay still in bed, staring at the wall. What the hell had just happened? He had awoken half an hour ago, feeling her tiny body grasp him from behind. Her even breaths were pushing her breast against his back and letting slow streams of air tickle the nape of his neck. His hand must have moved on its own while he was still sleeping and was now lying lightly on her lower arm, her unbearably soft skin so, so tempting against his fingertips, daring him to move just an inch, to caress only her wrist but he didn't dare move. At first he had been surprised by her boldness but her stillness and her even breathing had convinced him that she was sleeping, that their position was an accident. He cursed her in his head. Cursed her smooth legs that were just barely touching his, cursed her breaths that felt so close to him that he was sure her full lips were almost touching his skin, cursed her sweet smell that surrounded him, cursed her warm arm draped around him securely, tenderly, cursed her whole sexy body giving him an erection even though his eyes were fastened on a dirty spot on the carpet. He wanted to jump out of bed, jump out of her arms, wanted to take a long shower, washing all these sensations off of him and away from his mind; but he couldn't. He couldn't move. Not an inch and definitely not all the way into the bathroom. He had felt her wake up, had first noticed her stirring slightly, her fingers sweeping ever so lightly over his torso, her leg brushing his only for an instant, and had then felt her suddenly go rigid. This must have been the moment she realized she had been clinging to him. He felt her whole body stiffen and heard her breathing become quick and flat. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing even. He could not handle having any sort of conversation about this right now. He felt her slowly pull away and get out of bed and cursed the sensation of loss he felt. He should be happy that she moved away as quickly as possible but for some inexplicable reason he missed her embrace. Now he heard the water of the shower rushing and was still staring at the wall he was facing, still unable to move. And with every minute he grew angrier with himself. Angry at liking the way she smelled, angry at relishing the feel of her arm around his body, angry at being aroused by her soft skin. He had been so mad at Stefan for being able to replace Katherine with this copy, to look at her and pretend that she was someone else, someone so special. He had never understood it, these girls were so different. Katherine was seductive, she had spirit, she had an energy about herself that he had never seen in anyone else. And yes, Elena looked a lot like her, but she was plainer, she was funny and kind, he had to admit, but she was also annoying and judgmental and worst of all, she had been enough for Stefan to replace Katherine. It was the worst betrayal that Damon had experienced from his brother yet. He had always been angry with him, blaming him for her accident, for not watching out for her. But seeing him move on had been the greatest disloyalty yet. It proved to him that Stefan had never been worthy of Katherine's love in the first place and he felt his sacrifice of sharing the woman he had loved with everything he had, diminished by the fact that the man he had shared her with obviously did not love her with the same devotion. The thought of replacing Katherine with anyone, even a girl that looked just like her, had been atrocious to Damon, no matter how sweet and caring and fun she might be. And now he felt betrayed again, this time by his own body's reaction to this stranger, this copy. And he felt utterly helpless and unable to deal with this disturbing situation.

Elena turned off the water. She didn't want to leave the bathroom but she had run out of excuses to stay in there. She had washed and conditioned her hair, shaved everything thoroughly, even exfoliated with a sample from the motel and now she was squeaky clean and had to get out of the shower if she didn't want Damon (who was sure to have woken up by now) to worry about her wellbeing. She toweled herself off slowly and applied lotion meticulously, before blow-drying her hair excessively. Finally she put on her clothes and prepared herself emotionally for the first face-to-face with the man who had woken up in her arms. She opened the door carefully, peeking out and immediately saw him standing by the bed, picking up a fresh shirt and heading in her direction with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Jeez, woman! How much primping can you possibly need?"

"Sorry, I lost track of time," she answered meekly but he had already sauntered past her and closed the door behind him. She let out a sigh of relief. He had been asleep. He would not have let her live it down if he had caught her hugging him. She was sure of it. Now she just needed to get over the embarrassment and move on.

Damon stood in the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror, willing himself to get a grip. First of all, a physical reaction was nothing to be ashamed of. People had physical reactions to random things all the time. She was still a beautiful woman so the fact that she would appeal to his baser instincts was nothing to be concerned about. Secondly, he had reasoned, the fact that she looked like the woman he loved was entirely not her fault and he had decided not to hold it against her, not even the fact that she had fallen for Stefan's lame lines so quickly and blindly. She was a small-town teenage girl after all and admittedly, his brother wasn't too hard on the eyes and could be charming if he set his mind to it and didn't overdo it. Therefore, Damon had resolved to do everything in his power to get through the trip back home with as little tension as possible and then he could probably avoid seeing Elena Gilbert again for a very long time. One problem solved. The other one needed the help of a long cold shower.

* * *

><p>They were driving down the highway in silence, the ever unchanging Midwestern landscape flying past them. Elena looked out the window, feeling decidedly more relaxed. Damon had not made any weird comments and was generally and surprisingly easy to be around. Mostly because he had barely spoken all morning, but in Elena's book, companionable silence was better than snarky disdain any day of the week. Still, after having gone a couple of hours in quasi complete silence, Elena felt compelled to finally break it. As it was, her head kept wandering back to the moment of waking up this morning and that was not a smart memory to let her mind wander to.<p>

"So, no trying to make me sing along to 90s music today?" she said, hoping he was in a good enough mood to not snap at her for attempting small talk. With relief she noticed a small smile quirk up the corners of his mouth.

"Why, do you feel inclined to break out into song?" he replied.

"Not particularly," she conceded. "I'm just surprised, is all. Didn't think you'd give up so easily."

He chuckled lightly. "You're playing with fire, Miss Gilbert. If you keep this up, I will take you to Karaoke once we get back to Mystic Falls."

"Oh, too bad we don't have an establishment that's classy enough to offer this kind of sophisticated entertainment," she replied with a slight snort.

"I'm sure I could get the grill to organize it for a special occasion… like your birthday," he taunted.

She drew her brows together in mock-disapproval. "You just try that and see how long I'll let you live, Salvatore!" He threw a smirk in her direction and then concentrated back on the road. They fell back into silence, even though for Elena it was more of a nervous one than before. There was a question running around in her head that she was itching to ask him, but she didn't dare to broach the subject. Finally she gathered all her courage and took in a deep breath.

"Can I ask you something?" she began.

"Sure, shoot," came his distracted reply, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to," she elaborated, trying to get him into the right mindset for what she was about to talk to him about.

He shot her a quick confused look, forehead wrinkled, before turning his eyes back to the front. "Spit it out, Elena," he said, a little impatient now. Elena took another deep breath.

"I was just wondering…" she looked down at her hands, very uncomfortable. "About something Charlotte said…"

Damon's back straightened, guessing at the direction this conversation was headed. He waited for her to continue but she apparently couldn't work up the nerve to finally ask the actual question. He sighed in exasperation. "Jeez, Elena, this is like pulling teeth. Just get it over with!"

Elena jumped a little at his harsh tone, not sure this was a good idea after all, but couldn't very well turn back now, so she soldiered on: "Well I was just surprised. She said that the three of you were happy."

"Yes?" he answered by way of encouragement for to get to her question already.

"Well, she said there was no jealousy or animosity back then." She looked at Damon, trying to gauge his reaction. She waited to see if he chose to comment already but he didn't seem inclined at all, staring straight ahead, so she continued. "And there obviously is now." She waited again.

Finally Damon sighed and glanced at her quickly. "What's the actual question here, Elena?" he asked, sounding tired.

"I guess I was just surprised that she thought you guys were all happy back then," she answered, aware that technically that still wasn't a question.

"Well, we were," he answered, surprising her again.

"You weren't mad at Stefan? Or jealous?" she asked in disbelief.

"No," he simply answered, annoying her with his reluctance to elaborate.

"So you had no problem sharing Katherine?" she asked, hoping that a more specific question would lead to a more detailed answer.

"Look, when I found out, I wasn't thrilled," he acknowledged. "But sharing the person you love is better than not being with them at all." Elena looked at him with wide eyes, gnawing at her bottom lip. He turned to see her face and couldn't help but let out a quick laugh at her expression. "Go on," he said, "I know you have a follow-up question. Don't hold back."

"I'm not holding back, I just don't know where to start," she admitted, only making him laugh again. "I mean, those are not the only two options you have," she finally started.

"Well, they were with Katherine. She loved us both. She wasn't willing to give either one of us up."

"And that didn't make you question her love for you?" Elena asked, trying to wrap her head around what he was telling her.

"No, never," he answered and Elena was again surprised at the confidence in his voice. "When I was with her, I never felt like I was sharing her. She was with me. One hundred percent. Why should I begrudge her something that didn't affect me?"

"Don't you think it could have been different if she had loved you as much as you loved her?" she asked, assuming that she was treading on very thin ice but not able to hold back.

"What makes you think she didn't?"

Elena was taken aback for a second. "I'm not trying to judge. But I just can't imagine loving two people equally. If I love someone completely, I don't have enough of my heart left to give to someone else."

"That's very romantic of you, Elena," was all he said in reply. She furrowed her brows, well aware of the fact that he dismissed her argument because he thought she was naïve.

"Could you have loved someone else as much as Katherine?" she probed, trying to prove her point.

"No," he conceded. "Katherine was exceptional."

"Wouldn't you want the person you love to feel that same way about you?" she asked, sure she had him there.

But he only smiled a small smile and replied: "That's a very selfish thing to want, Elena." She could do nothing but gape at him in shock and, taking pity on her, he went on: "When you really love someone, you only want for them to be happy. To make Katherine happy, I had to share her. So I was glad to."

Elena couldn't wipe the look of utter astonishment off her face. "Who are you?" she finally asked, making Damon laugh once again.

"I can be selfless - when I want to." He simply replied.

"Could've fooled me," Elena mumbled in response. Damon smirked, looking out on the road. Both of them fell back into silence again, both following their own trains of thought. "I would have liked to meet her," Elena finally said. "I mean actually meet her. And get to know her."

"Why?" Damon asked.

"She seems fascinating. The way you talk about her. I don't think anyone has ever felt that way about me," she stared out the window. She didn't know why she was telling him this, voicing her insecurities that had only magnified after her short fling with Stefan and the fallout it had had. But sometimes it is easier to confess to strangers. And he had been so honest with her that she felt safe in the knowledge that she could be honest with him.

"You're still young," he stated.

Elena snorted, still looking out the window. "Yeah, thanks for trying," she said, trying to put enough lightness in her voice to not seem affected.

"Trust me, Elena, a girl like you doesn't go through life without making a few poor souls fall desperately in love with her," he said, winking at her.

Elena blushed furiously, glad that his eyes were trained on the road ahead of them. "You make it sound like a contagious disease," she feigned displeasure.

He chuckled lightly. "Look, all I'm saying is: you're beautiful, you're smart and funny, you got spunk. Don't go complaining about not having found true love yet when there's dumb, boring and ugly girls out there still clinging to the hope of riding into the sunset on a white steed with prince charming."

"You know just what to say to flatter a girl," Elena huffed.

"I never flatter," he replied, leaning over to her and whispering: "I'm always brutally honest. It's a weakness."

She involuntarily shuddered slightly, as his scent reached her and reminded her of how she woke up, her nose practically buried in his hair and his back pressed to her body. Heat rushed through her at the memory. She rolled her eyes playfully and turned away, hoping she was good enough at covering up her physical reaction to him.

"I still would have liked to have met her," she tried to steer the conversation away from her again. "She's my sister after all."

"I don't think you would have liked her," Damon said nonchalantly.

"What?" Elena asked, her brows furrowed.

"You two are very different," he said by way of explanation.

"Well, from what you and Charlotte have told me, Katherine was a goddess. So… thanks."

He chuckled again. "She was," he conceded. "Doesn't mean she didn't have her faults. She could be very selfish – obviously – and very manipulative. She wasn't always kind, could be quite cruel even."

Elena looked at him with surprise. "But… you loved her," she said, unable to reconcile that fact with what he was telling her now.

"Yes, I did," he confirmed. "But true love is never blind. I knew exactly who she was."

Elena nodded. She couldn't understand it, couldn't figure out how he could say he loved someone he deemed manipulative and cruel, no matter how extraordinary they were otherwise, but she realized that she didn't have to. It was just another mystery added to the pile surrounding her sister and the Salvatore brothers. Something else that didn't match her world view. That obviously wasn't anything new.

* * *

><p>They had been driving for hours, had taken breaks to eat and stretch their legs and had spoken sporadically, but never getting back to such personal topics as before. The sun had almost set behind the woods now and it was getting dark fast. They were already in Virginia and Elena couldn't wait to get home, to sleep in her own bed, to talk to Jenna and get some information from her, to talk to Bonnie and Caroline about all this craziness and hopefully, with their help, work through some of it. She looked at the sky above them, stars spreading across the dark firmament. They were still in the countryside, a few miles from Mystic Falls and due to the lack of civilization out here, the dark surrounding them was complete, the stars above a manifold of what you could see when in town. The only light was shed by their car's headlights that illuminated the road in front of them. They were alone, enveloped in darkness and the only sound Elena could here was the soft humming of the wheels on the sandy road. It would have been enough to lull her to sleep, but she fought to stay awake, knowing that they were almost home.<p>

Up ahead another pair of headlights blinked through the trees and then turned around the corner, now driving towards them. Someone leaving Virginia, another soul that shared their solitude, only headed in a different direction, Elena mused, concentrating back on the stars.

"What are they doing?" she heard Damon mumble next to her and looked back down. His eyes were directed at the car down the road, his forehead wrinkled by confusion. Elena turned back to the front and saw the car approaching them. It seemed too far on their side of the road and Elena started getting a little uncomfortable. Damon honked once, twice, but the other car never changed its course and the closer it came, the more certain Elena was that they would collide, should both vehicles stay on their path. Damon swerved to the left, trying to evade the approaching car that way, but to Elena's horror the other car also swerved, heading directly towards them again. It hit her then. This was not an inattentive driver, this was someone who wanted to hit their car. And now it was too late. "Shit!" she heard Damon curse beside her as he turned the wheel frantically, spinning the car around. She heard herself scream, unaware that she had opened her mouth. She saw the other headlights right in front of her, then felt the car under her spin and suddenly the lights were gone. Then she felt the impact. The whole world around her shook, her head being furiously slammed against metal, glass and leather. She heard the screeching of metal against metal, heard glass crash as it splintered into a million pieces; she was completely surrounded by unbearably loud noise that she couldn't identify. Pain shot up through her body, she didn't even have any idea where it originated, every muscle, every ligament, every inch of skin was in pain. When at last the spinning and screeching had stopped, she dared to open her eyes, desperately trying to get a grasp of the situation. The car lay on its side, the hole where her window had been pressed against the rough concrete. She turned around to see blue eyes staring at her from above, staring at her in desperation but completely unmoving. She felt liquid dripping on her face and brushed an aching hand over her cheek. When her eyes fell to her fingers, she saw that the liquid was blood and panic sprang up in her.

"Damon?" she asked, her voice so weak and hoarse she wouldn't have recognized it as her own. Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart was beating at an uncanny speed in her chest. He was still staring down at her but didn't move. She saw how they grew slowly darker, blood seeping into them from behind. "Damon?" she repeated, her voice now quivering from the tears that were flowing down her cheeks. She felt herself starting to hyperventilate. She had to do something, had to get out of this car, had to help him. She tried to stretch herself, desperately trying to reach him, but a piercing pain shot up her entire body and she suddenly felt dizzy. Her breathing became difficult and her vision blurred, bright dots starting to dance in front of her eyes. She tried to fight back the hysteria and take a deep breath, but the harder she tried, the more she failed. She felt her arm go numb and fall down against her, while she felt more blood dripping on her face, mixing there with her tears and flowing down her neck. The world around her got darker until she couldn't see anything anymore and then, finally the sound was gone, too, and she felt herself be dragged down into nothingness.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Please review :)**_


	8. Chapter 8 WHAT DID HE DO?

8. WHAT DID HE DO?

All she saw was black. But the black wasn't black at all, it was red. A deep, impenetrable red, a red that glowed, as though on fire, even though she didn't feel any heat. Elena tried to blink and that was when she realized that her eyes were still closed, bright light streaming through her heavy lids. She tried to open them, but they felt so heavy and giving up was so tempting. She tried to move other parts of her body, her legs, her arms, her head, but was met with a shooting pain that made her groan.

"Elena?" she heard a muffled voice. A voice she couldn't place. Everything she could see and feel right now was herself, like she was holed up inside her body and didn't want to come out. Pain and bright light waited on the outside and she wasn't ready to face them. The voice belonged to the outside as well, trying to intrude into her cocoon. "Elena? Can you hear me?" she heard the voice again. She was reluctant to react, but she felt like there was urgency behind the words and worry and it made her want to relieve the person speaking by giving a reply. She tried to open her eyes again, straining against the heaviness of her eyelids. They felt like they were stuck together and she needed all the force she could muster to slowly pull them apart. Bright light instantly hit her senses and she squinted her eyes shut again.

"Oh my God, Elena, please please open your eyes," the voice spoke again, even more urgently now.

Elena winced. Opening her eyes was painful, she didn't want to do it. But obviously it was important that she try anyways. Slowly she opened her eyes again, biting back the whimper at the discomfort the bright light brought her. She saw nothing, everything was fuzzy. She saw white all around her and then a figure appeared before her, blonde hair flowing gently. Elena smiled. It was her mom.

"Am I in heaven?" she asked her mother. She had to be.

"No, no," the female voice said again, her face still hazy. "You're in the hospital, sweety."

"What kind of meds did they put her on?" another voice spoke, rougher, a man.

Elena blinked again, willing her eyes to see more clearly. With one weak and heavy hand she wiped at them in a vain effort to make the fog disappear. She still couldn't see properly, but she was now able to place the voices.

"Jeremy?" she asked in a scratchy voice. She saw a second form appear next to the first one.

"Yeah, I'm here," she heard him say and then she felt someone take her hand softly.

"Jenna?" she said, her voice strangled from held back tears. "Everything hurts. I can't see." Tears slid down her cheeks. Her aunt moved and fiddled with something next to her and a short while later she heard the door to the room open and a third person came in.

"Did she wake up?" a strange voice asked.

"Yes, but she's in pain," Jenna replied, moving away from her bed.

The new person now leaned over her. "How do you feel, Miss Gilbert? Where does it hurt?" the woman asked with concern in her voice.

"I can't see," was all she could say. She felt more tears stream down her cheeks. She noticed the panic welling up in her again, her heartbeat increase, her breathing go ragged. The brightness was fading and darkness was encroaching upon her again. "What happened?" she asked desperately, trying to reach for the hand that held hers only a moment before but couldn't find it. "Where's Damon?"

"She's in shock," the calm female voice said. "We should let her sleep some more. I will give her something against the pain and a sedative." Elena saw the person moving around her but no one said anything else, all she could hear were her frantic sobs. And then a wave rushed over her and dragged her away, back into a soothing darkness.

* * *

><p>The next time Elena awoke, she remembered where she was right away. She knew that she had had an accident and she knew that she was in the hospital now. She knew that moving had hurt before, so she didn't try it this time, but she also realized that it had become darker now and she attempted to open her eyes again. The room was a lot darker now. Outside the sun had set, leaving only dim twilight to seep through the white curtains, some light from the hallway was creeping in under the door. The only direct light inside the room was a small lamp on her bedside table that was turned away from her, probably to prevent any disorientation on her part upon waking up. To her relief, she saw more clearly now. Everything was still a bit hazy, but she was quite sure that there had been no damage to her eyes or brain. Encouraged by this discovery, Elena dared to try and move her arms. She was happy to see that she could. She noticed that one was resting in a sling and it ached, but she concluded that it was probably not broken. All in all every movement made her aware of dull ache in every part of her body, but nothing seemed seriously wrong. She proceeded to try and move her legs and this is when the shooting pain started. She sighed. So everything was not fine after all. Carefully, with her functioning arm and not without pain, she drew the blankets to the side and noticed her left leg being completely covered in a cast. It was propped up on some kind of cushion, probably to prevent the blood from gathering there. Her other leg seemed fine. It was, admittedly, covered in bruises, but she was able to move it slowly, could bend it at the knee and twist her foot without too much pain. She summarized: one broken leg, bruises everywhere, a possibly injured arm, but no brain damage as far as she could tell. Relief hit her instantly. Lying in that crash, she had been in so much pain, she had assumed she had multiple fractures and possibly hurt her spine. Now she figured she had been comparatively lucky.<p>

Then the realization hit her. She had not had any news from Damon. He had obviously been bleeding and he hadn't been responsive when she had called for him in the car. Her chest was squeezing together painfully, fear clasping around her lungs. The other car had hit on his side of the vehicle. He had probably been hurt much worse than she had. All she could do was praying that he had survived. It was true that she did not consider him a close friend (or a good person, per se), but he had shown her a very different side of him these last few days, a side she'd come to appreciate. And the thought of him dying a painful death, dying while driving her home, was too much for her to bear. She looked around frantically, feeling panic well up in her once again, but pushing it down with everything she had. She found the small button that called the nurse and pushed it several times, desperate for someone to tell her what had happened. After what felt like an eternity the door swung open and a nurse approached her bed quickly.

"Miss Gilbert," the woman said, concern obvious in her voice. "Is everything alright? Are you in pain?"

"How is Damon," Elena asked, entirely unconcerned with anything the woman had asked her.

"Who?" the nurse asked, obviously confused.

"Damon Salvatore," Elena explained. "He was in the accident with me."

"I'm so sorry, I don't know. Let me go find out, alright?" The woman said with a small smile. Elena only nodded. "Is there anything else you need? Would you like something to drink?" The nurse continued, apparently not in a great hurry to get the information Elena needed so desperately.

"No, no. Thanks. I'm fine. Just find out where he is, please," she urged.

The nurse nodded and thankfully left to make inquiries. Elena stared out the window. The twilight had passed into complete darkness by now. But unlike last night she couldn't make out a single star. The light from her bedside lamp reflected in the window glass, making the night outside appear completely black. Carefully, she stretched out her arm to switch off the light source and was suddenly surrounded by darkness. But still she saw no stars. She felt hot tears spring to her eyes but held them back, not allowing them to roll down her cheeks. After what seemed like another eternity, she heard a light knock on the door and saw the nurse enter carefully.

"Miss Gilbert?" she asked, probably assuming that she might have gone back to sleep.

"Yes?" Elena asked, turning the lamp back on. She saw the worried look on the woman's face and felt her chest constrict. She looked too uneasy for good news.

"I'm afraid Mr. Salvatore is still in the ER," she was informed. "They're operating on him again."

"Again?" Elena swallowed hard. It was dark out. An entire day had passed. And Damon was still in the Emergency Room. Being operated on. Again.

"Yes, they performed emergency surgery on him when you were first brought in but apparently there were complications during the day and they had to bring him back in again. I'm sorry I don't have any definitive news for you," she said apologetically.

"But he will be okay, right? They're operating on him and then he'll be fine," Elena pleaded.

"I will let you know as soon as I hear something," was the only reply she got. She felt the blood leave her face. "You should try and get some rest," the nurse continued. "I let your doctor know you woke up. She should be here shortly." With that the woman left the room.

Elena couldn't speak and she couldn't think straight. Damon was in critical condition. And all because of her. Because he took her to Chicago. If it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have been on that road last night, he wouldn't have been hit by that other car, his life wouldn't be threatened right now. Awful memories of her parents' accident washed over her and dragged her under. Anxiety was clamping around her heart. Back then it had also been her fault. They had driven down that road to bring her home, just as Damon had driven down this road to bring her home as well. She felt fear and dread shift and turn into a feeling of defeat and hopelessness. She felt numbness tug at her heart, trying to drag her into oblivion. She wanted to take another sedative and just sleep so she didn't have to face the guilt again. But she knew she couldn't give herself over to the nothingness. She was determined to hold off giving up hope for as long as she possibly could. The only alternative however was to be proactive. Sitting in this bed and waiting for that door to open was killing her. She took a deep breath and made the decision to try and get some answers on her own. Determined, she sat up in bed. She felt her ribs protest against the movement and pain crawl up her leg but she was resolved to not give up because of a little discomfort. She grabbed the cast and pulled on it to move her leg. At first it wouldn't budge but then it dropped off the support abruptly and plumped down on the bed heavily. A shooting pain drove through Elena's entire body and she couldn't help a yelp of agony escaping her. Tears sprang to her eyes. She tried to grab at the leg to readjust it, but her tugging seemed to only make the pain worse. What had she been thinking, trying to get out of bed on her own? She had been panicking and not thinking clearly, but this had obviously been one of her dumber plans. She tried to lift the leg back onto the cushion but to no avail. She was whimpering softly because of the continuous pain.

Suddenly the door opened and a woman she hadn't seen before stepped into the room. She was wearing a white coat, probably a doctor, not another nurse. As soon as her eyes found Elena, her face fell and she rushed over to the bed.

"Miss Gilbert, what happened?" the woman asked with concern in her voice. She was now standing next to the bed and carefully lifted Elena's leg back onto the support.

"I wanted to get up," Elena replied, biting through the pain.

"Why?" the woman asked, sounding exasperated. "If you need to go to the bathroom, you press the button and a nurse will come," she explained.

"No, I have to check on Damon Salvatore. He's in surgery. I need to know how he's doing," she pleaded. Understanding flickered across the woman's face.

"Listen," she said in a calming voice. "I don't know the current status, but I know about the complications." She touched Elena's arm in a reassuring gesture. "But he's a tough one, your boyfriend. He was in pretty bad shape but if anyone can get through it it's him, okay? And you need to take care of yourself for now. You'll need to be in top shape to help him with his recovery, okay?" If. That tiny word almost made Elena break down again. But she battled to keep it together this time and only nodded. She almost protested at first when the doctor had called Damon her boyfriend but then changed her mind. Who else would come and visit Damon in the hospital? Stefan? Doubtful. And she had witnessed first-hand that it was not always easy to be let through to patients in serious condition. She wanted to make sure she wouldn't have any problems. And maybe this doctor thinking she was his girlfriend could open a few doors for her.

"Alright," the woman proceeded, obviously relieved that Elena had accepted to not leave her bed for the time being. "I'm Dr. Fell, but you may call me Meredith." She smiled a warm smile and took a look at her notes. "Let's see how you're doing;" she continued, starting to examine her patient.

"What happened?" Elena asked.

"You broke your left leg and sprained your left elbow. You had a mild concussion and a few contusions on your torso and abdomen, but no interior injuries, luckily. Your boyfriend turned the car around right before the impact so the driver's side was actually affected much more than yours." Elena gulped.

"He saved my life," Elena said quietly, more as a statement than a question.

The doctor smiled at her and put a reassuring hand on her arm. "Yes, he did," she said warmly before resuming her assessment of Elena's condition. Elena felt her throat go sore from suppressing the tears that wanted to rise up to her eyes.

"So, what happened to him?" she forced out in a meek voice.

"I don't know any details, I'm afraid," the friendly woman answered with sincere regret in her voice. "But the complication that arose was blood that was pooling in his brain. They have to operate to relieve the pressure in order to prevent any damage." She registered the look of shock on Elena's face. "Don't worry. The doctor who is performing the surgery is one of the best. He has done this many many times." Elena simply nodded but felt anxiety rise up in her again. "We will let you know as soon as we hear something. But you should really try to get some sleep. I'll give you a light barbiturate." She shone a light into Elena's eyes. "Your reflexes are fine, there are no new wounds or contusions, it seems like all you need is bed rest and soon you'll be as good as new," the woman said with an encouraging smile.

"Thank you," Elena replied weakly, too emotionally drained and physically tired to continue the conversation.

"The police want to speak with you about the accident. Do you think you'll be able to talk to them tomorrow morning? Then I'd let them know," Dr. Fell asked.

"Sure," Elena replied.

"Alright. Get some sleep. I'll check back on you tomorrow." With that the woman left the room.

A nurse brought Elena the prescribed sleeping pills and she took them. She had hesitated for a moment, wanting to be awake in case they got news on Damon's condition. But then she decided that it would probably still be a long while before she had any hope of getting an update and that keeping awake and worrying would probably only wear her down more. At least this way she was fairly certain that there would be new developments by the time she woke up. She lay back on her pillow, stared out the window into the blackness of the night and slowly drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>Elena awoke to the song of birds. The window had been opened, letting in the warm air and aromatic scent of freshly cut grass. The sun shown friendly into her room and warmed her skin. She turned around to see a trey with breakfast on the bedside table. Slowly she lifted the bed's backrest by pushing the up button on the remote control. Then, before even touching her food, she buzzed for the nurse, getting more and more nervous, the seconds seemingly dragging on. Finally the door opened and a male nurse stepped into the room, a friendly smile on his face.<p>

"Good morning. I'm Harper. How did you sleep, Miss Gilbert?" he greeted, walking over to the bed with a motivated bounce in his step.

"Fine," Elena answered curtly. "Can you tell me how Damon Salvatore is doing?" she was too anxious for pleasantries and small talk.

"You were in the accident with him?" the young man asked. Elena only nodded, begging him with her eyes to tell her already. A wide smile spread over the man's face. "He'll make it," he answered. Elena let out a sigh of relief.

"How is he? Can I talk to him?" she asked quickly.

"I'm afraid not," came the reply. "He's being kept in an artificial coma for the time being." A look of utter shock must have flashed over Elena's face, because the nurse hurried to add: "It's only to assure that everything heals well. A few days, until he's over the hump. But he will make it, the doctors are sure of it." Elena nodded, willing herself to accept the information as good news.

There was a knock on the door and when it opened, Elena spotted her aunt and brother peeking into the room. When they saw that she was awake and apparently responsive, their faces lit up and they rushed into the room.

"Elena, are you okay?" Jenna asked, while running up to the bed. Without waiting for an answer, she turned to the nurse. "Can I hug her?" she asked, a worried expression on her face.

"Yes, you can hug me," Elena answered before her attendant could give a reply, a hesitant smile spreading across her face.

"Me first!" Jeremy yelled and squeezed past his aunt, wrapping his arms around his sister tightly.

"Maybe not quite as hard," she pressed out, feeling his chest crush her injured arm. He released her, only to have Jenna frantically take his place, holding Elena in a firm embrace. She had to chuckle lightly at their antics.

"I'm so glad you're alright," her aunt exclaimed. "I was so worried!" She sat down on a chair next to the bed and grabbed Elena's hand. Harper excused himself and left his patient with her family. "How are you feeling, sweety?"

"Good, good. I was lucky, I guess," Elena replied, smiling a reassuring smile.

"Well, lucky… You were in a car accident. There's better luck than that," Jenna said.

"I mean… considering. I could have gotten hurt much worse," Elena replied. Her good mood fell again instantly, thinking about Damon who was lying somewhere in this hospital right now, having only barely survived the same accident.

"Well, Bonnie and Caroline say 'Hi'," Jeremy interjected. "They will come by after school today."

"Thanks," Elena said, smiling, wondering why exactly Jeremy was the one her friends were in contact with and not Jenna.

"Elena, why did you leave anyways, and with Damon of all people," Jenna asked with thinly veiled disgust. "I could kill him for driving recklessly with you in the car," she spat out angrily.

Elena swallowed hard. "Jenna, that's not…" she began, wanting to defend him but being interrupted by another knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, Sheriff Forbes stepped into the room.

"Good morning, Elena, I'm so glad to see you're doing better," she said, walking up to the bed.

"Hi Liz," Elena said with a tired smile, a little overwhelmed by the seemingly unending flow of people.

"Dr. Fell said I could come in today and ask you a few questions," the woman explained.

"Yes, sure," Elena replied, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"We'll wait outside. Just let us know when you're done," Jenna conceded and got up to step out of the room, followed by Jeremy who threw a last encouraging smile into Elena's direction before closing the door behind him.

"How are you feeling?" Liz asked, sitting down in the chair Jenna had occupied only a minute ago, pulling out her pen and note pad.

Elena heaved a slight sigh, realizing she'd have to get used to being asked this question a lot in the foreseeable future. "I'm fine," she answered with a smile. "I got off lightly, I guess." Liz threw her a look but Elena couldn't tell what it meant.

"Can you tell me what happened?" the sheriff asked.

Elena took a deep breath. "We were driving down the road. It was already dark. There weren't really any other cars around. We were going through the forest outside of Mystic Falls. Suddenly there was this other car that came right at us. Damon tried to get out of the way, but the other driver wouldn't let him. He hit us." Elena felt dread rise up in her at the memory, but she fought it back down. "I think we flipped over," she added in a weaker voice.

The other woman nodded, taking notes. "Did you drink before driving? I mean, did Mr. Salvatore drink?" she asked in a sober tone.

"No." Elena stated firmly, a little irritated at Liz's insinuation. The sheriff only nodded and kept jotting down notes.

"Were you distracted? Was Mr. Salvatore maybe talking on the phone?"

"No," Elena answered again, getting a little annoyed.

"Were you… touching?" Liz looked up at her with a matter-of-fact expression on her face. It took Elena a second to understand what it was exactly that her friend's mother was asking her.

"No!" she exclaimed as soon as she had fully grasped the question. "No, we were just sitting there. Like I said. The other car hit us."

"Mhm," Liz mumbled, concentrating on her notes. "What exactly is your relationship with Damon Salvatore?" she asked then, looking back up at Elena intently.

"My…" Elena was a little stunned. "There's… we don't… we're just friends. We hardly know each other."

"Yet you went away with him for the weekend," Liz probed.

"But that wasn't planned…" Elena realized that this all sounded dodgy, but she didn't feel like talking to Liz about her newly discovered sister and mother. "I was just… he had to show me something. It wasn't like a vacation or anything."

"What was it like then?" the sheriff prodded further.

"I don't really want to talk about it," Elena muttered.

"Why not?" Liz continued.

"It's personal. What does it matter?" Elena returned the question.

"Well, if there really was no reason such as inebriation or distraction for the accident and it was, in all actuality, caused on purpose, as you seem to think, we have to look at motive," Liz explained carefully.

"But… what motive would anyone have to hit Damon? Nobody really knows him here."

"Would Damon maybe have motive to hit someone else's car? Maybe he was jealous?" the older woman suggested.

Elena stared at her for a second, unable to form a response right away. "No. No, why would he… No, he didn't… The other car hit us. They were in our lane."

"From what the police report said, you were actually in the wrong lane," Liz corrected her cautiously.

Elena was dumbfounded. She tried to think back to that night, to visualize the road and the cars. She had been looking out of the window at the trees rushing by her, right next to her, they had definitely been on the right side of the road then. She remembered the other car heading in their direction. She was certain that it had been speeding towards them in their lane. "Damon swerved," she said slowly, trying to remember how everything had happened. "I think he tried to get out of the way and switched lanes. And then the other car swerved, too."

"Are you sure?" Liz asked.

Elena wanted to be sure. But her memories were a bit hazy. She remembered him cursing and turning the wheel frantically. She remembered wondering why the other driver would want to hit them. "I think so," she said meekly.

The sheriff looked at her with an uncertain look in her eyes. "How is your relationship with Stefan Salvatore going?" she then asked.

Elena bit her lip, uncomfortable with the personal questions. "I'm not with Stefan anymore," she finally answered in a small voice. "Why?" She looked at Liz who simply returned her look, without giving her an answer. Elena's head was reeling. "Why are you asking about Stefan?" she asked a little more forceful, even though she already had a pretty good idea why Liz would think jealousy might be the reason for the crash. "Was he… Did Stefan hit us?" she asked, barely in control of her own voice.

"Yes," came the reply and Elena felt all blood drain from her face.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So there you go! Yay to everyone who figured out that it was Stefan who hit them. Extra cookies for all of you :) Also I apologize to everyone who loves Show!Stefan as much as I do; in this story he's a creep. Deal with it. Haha. I'll see if I can write a different story some other time and incorporate a nice Stefan. But it's not this one. Also, I'm really sorry but I am completely ignorant when it comes to any kind of medical stuff I'm writing about so I'm just making it up as I go along. So please, if you spot any mistakes, let me know so I can correct them, but don't hold them against me, I honestly have no clue and I know it. Lol. Alright, __**please review**__, your messages are the air that I breathe!_


	9. Chapter 9 A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY

_A/N: First of all I want to thank you all so much for still being with me. I'm getting such nice reviews and support from everyone and it just makes me so happy, you have no idea! Secondly, sorry I haven't updated in so long. I went on a trip and then I got sick and have been lying in bed with bronchitis for the past week. So the writing has been a little tough. Also I want to thank the wonderful scarlett2112 who has graciously offered to help me out with the medical side of things. Thank you so so much! So any mistakes I make from now on are either because I didn't ask her or because I blatantly disregard medical reality for the purpose of the story I want to tell ;) anyways, here you go, I hope you enjoy!_

_p.s.: I've said this before but obviously I don't own TVD or any of the characters. Wouldn't that be fun? Damon would always be in a towel. And so would Stefan. Also: Chunky Monkey for everyone!_

* * *

><p>9. A LITTLE BIT OF HISTORY<p>

Elena was still in shock. After a few more questions, Liz had been satisfied that Elena had genuinely had no idea that Stefan hat been the second party involved in the accident or why he would have done it. Jenna and Jeremy had stepped back into the room and Liz had filled them in. They both sat there, equally as shocked.

"Why would Stefan hit their car?" Jenna asked finally.

"We don't know. Our best guess right now is that he was jealous," Liz answered, eyeing Elena carefully.

"Jealous of what?" Jenna continued, flabbergasted. "Did something happen with Damon, Elena?"

"No," she simply answered, quietly.

"Then what were you even… what…" Jenna tried to ask but let the question trail off, not sure she knew where to begin trying to understand this situation.

"Where is he now?" Elena finally turned to the sheriff, shaking herself from her stupor.

"Stefan?" the woman replied rhetorically. "He's also in the ICU. He survived but he was hurt pretty badly. His car hit yours head-on, the airbags saved his life," she explained.

Elena nodded and rubbed her temples tiredly. How had this all gotten so messed up? A month ago, she had been quietly mourning her parents, knowing nothing of her sister, her real mother or the Salvatore brothers. A week ago she had been happily in love, had believed that she had met someone she could build a future with, had thought that he could bring her back to her old self somehow. And now, in a matter of hours, her life had gotten more screwed up than ever before. She had found a whole new family, an event that was actually a rather happy one but one that caused her an emotional upheaval none the less and that made her question her bonds and the trust she put in the remnants of the family she still had. She still wasn't sure how to talk to Jenna and Jeremy about this. And two men were fighting for their lives because of her. One that she had thought she loved only a few days ago and one she had thought she hated; and oddly she now found that she worried more about the latter.

"Maybe we should let Elena get some rest," Liz suggested and Jenna, seeing the exhausted expression on her niece's face, agreed. They all hugged Elena tightly, promising to come back the next day, and left. Elena was actually glad to be alone. She needed to recapitulate the events and sort her memories and thoughts and her emotions. Liz assumed that Stefan was jealous of her and Damon. And thinking back to the last time she had spoken to him, she had to admit that that was quite possible. It had been that morning in the motel, when Damon had come in, looking for his pants. She sighed heavily. Even if Stefan thought that she had run off with Damon, how did he know where to find them? And why would he hit their car? He had to have known that Damon's Camaro had no airbags. He accepted the fact that he would inevitably hurt them both badly at least. This was not a jealous boyfriend causing a scene or punching his adversary in the face, this was attempted murder. Elena gulped. And he knew he would get badly hurt himself. Airbags or no, no one walked away unscathed from a head-on collision. He knew that and he hit them anyways. That wasn't anger, it was insanity. Elena felt tears well up in her eyes. A few days ago, she had slept with this man. She had given her body to him. He had looked into her eyes and told her he loved her and she had believed him. And now she realized that she didn't know him at all and that he had wanted her dead. For at least the minute that the cars were heading towards each other, he had wanted her to die. He had wanted his brother to die. She felt shivers of shock run through her entire body.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a knock on her door and was relieved when the person that entered was Harper, the male nurse. She didn't think she would have been able to handle any more being questioned or catching up with anyone.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, a relaxed smile on his face that instantly soothed Elena and calmed her nerves.

"Fine, I guess," she replied, trying at a smile herself.

"Do you think I can take you on a little trip?" he asked, pointing to a wheelchair that was standing in a corner.

"A trip to where?" she questioned.

"I've been told I could take you to see Mr. Damon Salvatore," he answered, his smile growing wider.

"Damon?" Elena felt her heart take a little leap. "Is he awake?"

"No," Harper answered regretfully. "But he is stable now so if you want to, you can see him."

Elena didn't have to think twice. She nodded her head fiercely and endeavored to scoot her body towards the edge of the bed in an attempt to speed up the process. Harper rushed up to her side, chuckling lightly at her eagerness and helped her into the wheelchair. Her leg was propped up, her arm in a sling; she could still feel a dull ache vibrate through her entire body but ignored it, too wrapped up in the anticipation of seeing the man who had saved her life. She knew he had barely escaped death and therefore prepared herself for the worst. But secretly she hoped that she would be positively surprised, that he would lie in his bed mainly unscathed, that the head injury was the only thing seriously wrong with him and that she didn't have to seriously worry about that, since the doctor had said that everything was under control.

They were standing in another white hallway, in front of another white door. Elena was slowly getting tired of hospitals and the emotional upheavals they brought with them.

Harper pushed the door open and rolled her inside. She craned her neck to see better but for now there wasn't much to see. A heap of white in a white room. Then she made out a patch of black hair. It rested on the enormous white pillow. As she got closer, she realized that the largest part of his head and face were covered in gauze. The white bed sheet was pulled up to his chin. A multitude of tubes and wires disappeared ominously under the cloth that draped around the body, undoubtedly hiding terrible injuries. A machine was standing next to the bed, beeping calmly but relentlessly, indicating that the immobile body was still alive. Haper rolled Elena around the bed so she sat in between the bed and the window. On this side, Damon's arm protruded slightly from the covers and was attached to an IV.

"What injuries does he have?" Elena asked in a small voice. "Why is his face covered in bandages? Is something wrong with his eyes?" she scanned what little of the body she could see.

"I can't tell you," Harper replied apologetically. "Doctor-patient privilege."

"Are you serious?" Elena hoped she sounded appropriately furious but suspected that her voice was too weak to convey any strong emotions right now.

"I'm really sorry. Not before he wakes up," Harper explained.

Elena heaved a small sigh. The nurse sounded sincere enough. It wasn't his fault. That didn't change the fact that it was torture to not get any details. "When will that be?" she asked, not daring to get her hopes up.

"Probably soon. His vitals are good, the swelling in his cranium is receding, the doctors should be able to end the artificial coma in the next few days and then we'll just have to hope that he'll find his way back to us."

"What do you mean?" Elena inquired, worry creeping into her voice,

"With head injuries you never know how much damage has actually been done. The hematoma could have exerted pressure on the brain. We'll have to wait and see." Elena couldn't help tearing up. "Don't worry, Miss. That's the worst case scenario. From what I heard the surgery went well and the doctors are expecting no lasting damage. He will probably make a full recovery."

Elena nodded her head. She knew the young man meant well, but to be honest, she wasn't very comforted. She let her eyes trail over Damon's body that was hidden under the stiff blanket, only able to guess at the wounds that were hidden underneath. Her gaze settled on his hand that peeked out from underneath the covers and almost instinctively, she stretched out her own hand to touch it. Her fingertips made contact with his still arm. Slowly she traced his soft, cool skin down to his palm and let her hand close carefully around his. It was meant to be a reassuring gesture, a way of making him feel connected to the outside world, but she was aware that it was just as much her needing to touch him, to make sure that he was really there. Her eyes trailed up to his face but it was impassive, his mouth in the same relaxed line, his chin in the same angle to his neck, the covers unmoved. She felt helpless and incapable. She wanted to comfort him, heal him, at least thank him, but felt unable to do any of those things.

* * *

><p>Jenna was cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang. She grabbed it quickly and squeezed it between her chin and her shoulder while continuing to do the dishes.<p>

"Hello?"

There was a moment of silence before the person on the other end spoke with insecurity: "Jenna?"

The voice seemed familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. "Yes. Who's this?" she asked.

"Hi Jenna, it's Charlotte." There was another moment of silence in which Jenna almost dropped the phone in shock. "Pierce," the woman clarified.

"Yeah, yeah," Jenna replied, not sure about what to say. She abandoned the dishes and wiped her hands dry. "How… how are you?" she asked finally. Why was this woman calling now? She hadn't heard from her in over sixteen years and as far as she knew, neither had Grayson.

"I'm good," came the reply. "I just wanted to know if Elena got home okay. She said she would call and she never did."

Jenna was speechless. How did Charlotte know Elena had been on a trip? Had they been in contact? Since when? To her knowledge, Miranda and Grayson had never told her that she was adopted.

"I'm sorry, if this is inappropriate, I didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable. If she doesn't want to talk to me, that's fine, of course," Charlotte rambled, mistaking Jenna's confusion for a refusal to talk to her. "I was just getting worried. I just want to know she's okay."

Jenna's chest constricted. She heard the worry in the other woman's voice. She had to tell her about the accident, she had to reassure her that Elena was fine, she definitely had to ask a few questions of her own! "Yes. No," she started, not knowing what to respond to first. "She's fine now. She… she had an accident."

"What? What happened?"

"She was in a car accident on her way home from a trip. She's in the hospital. She's okay though. A few broken bones, but she got lucky." Jenna explained.

"Oh my god," Charlotte exclaimed in a mixture of concern and relief. "How's Damon?"

Jenna almost dropped the phone again. "He's… how do you know Damon?"

Charlotte heaved a heavy sigh before speaking again: "We need to talk, Jenna."

* * *

><p>That afternoon Bonnie and Caroline came to visit Elena and she was actually glad to see them. She had slept after lunch and felt the emotional turmoil of the morning fade away slowly. She wanted to think about something else, anything else, than Damon's destroyed body in that hospital bed and her bubbly friends could be just the distraction she needed. The girls entered the room smiling widely and running up to her bed with outstretched arms.<p>

"We're so glad you're okay!" Caroline stated for the two of them and Bonnie nodded eagerly, underlining her point with a tight hug.

"Thanks for coming by," Elena answered with a smile.

"We came over yesterday but you were sleeping so we left again," Bonnie explained. Elena started to apologize but was hushed quickly by her friends.

"We were just so worried!" Bonnie cried out. "What happened?"

"Well, I got into a car accident," Elena answered, not sure how forthcoming she wanted to be quite yet.

"Yeah! With Damon!" Caroline commented indignantly.

"I know. I'm sorry, Car, I know you have issues with him," Elena replied apologetically.

"Until two days ago, you had issues with him!" Caroline exclaimed, more incredulous than reproachful.

"I know, I know." Elena dropped her gaze for a moment, her excitement over her friends' visit waning. How could she explain? And what did she want to explain anyways? "It's just… I get it now."

Caroline just stared at her, stunned, leaving the asking of the obvious questions to Bonnie. "You get what now? That he drugged Caroline and left her to be found naked so his brother would get sent to jail?"

"No, that was wrong of course," Elena conceded.

"Oh thank you," Caroline snapped, a little disgruntled now.

"I just get the anger. And his trust issues," Elena tried to explain, well aware that she was not doing a very good job.

"Oh I'm so glad for him," Caroline huffed.

Bonnie, trying to lighten the mood, veered into a somewhat different direction: "Where did you guys go even?"

"Chicago," Elena said reluctantly, knowing that she would probably have to be more forthcoming.

"Why?" Caroline asked skeptically.

Elena looked down at her hands again, taking a deep breath. "It's a long story," she tried, knowing that this would not satisfy her friends.

"Well you better come out with it!" Caroline exclaimed. "Getting the details about all these absurd developments from you is like pulling teeth! Spill it already. We're your best friends!"

"Well, I feel more like I'm before a tribunal." Elena replied crossly. "I've had a rough weekend. By god, probably one of the roughest of my life. And Damon has been there for me, okay? I get that you can't see him as a good guy and I'm not asking you to, but he saved my life! And he almost lost his own in the process. And I'm grateful to him." Elena felt tears well up in her eyes again and did everything possible to hold them back and not let them spill.

"We know," Bonnie said quietly. She sat down on the edge of Elena's bed and put her hand reassuringly on her arm. "And we're just trying to understand. We want to be there for you, but we just don't know how! The last thing we knew was that you were happy with Stefan and then we wake up and you're gone off to no one knows where with Damon and suddenly we get the call that you're all in the hospital. We're worried but mostly we just don't know what's going on."

Elena saw her friend's eyes get misty and she understood. None of this made sense, not even to her, and to an outside observer it had to be utterly confusing. But she knew that sharing everything would make it all real and it would mean that people would know about it. People would know Miranda wasn't her real mother, people would know Stefan only dated her because he was in love with her twin sister, people would know. This was a small town. And people would talk. And Elena knew that there was nothing she could do to stop it; she just had the nonsensical urge to postpone it as long as possible.

"What's happening, Elena?" bonnie said and Elena could pick up on the quiver in her voice. She took a deep breath.

"I have a twin sister. In Chicago. Stefan and Damon both dated her." Bandage off.

Her friends just stared at her, wide-eyed. She started getting uncomfortable under their stares. Half wishing she hadn't said anything after all, half relieved that at least it was out there and she didn't have to keep it all in anymore. "What?" Caroline finally croaked out, her voice tiny.

"Miranda isn't my real mom. The woman who gave birth to me is called Charlotte. She lives in Chicago with my twin sister, Katherine, who is in a coma. Stefan and Damon both dated her. Damon blames Stefan for her accident, that's where their animosity stems from. That's why Stefan came here. He found out she had a twin sister and he sought me out." Elena felt tears of anger and shame rise up in her throat again.

The two girls listening to the story gaped at her in disbelief. Caroline felt around behind herself blindly, grasping for a chair she could sink into. Bonnie was glad she was already sitting on Elena's bed. "And he just told you this?" Bonnie managed to say after a bout of shocked silence.

"No, I stumbled across Katherine's photo in Stefan's apartment. I didn't understand it, but I just had to get out of there." Her friends nodded understandingly. "I ran into Damon by accident and he told me. He took me to Chicago. I saw Katherine and I… I met Charlotte."

The three of them talked for what felt like hours. It was exhausting for Elena, but she was glad to be able to finally share it with someone. For days she had to bottle up her anxieties, her insecurities, her questions and her hopes. Damon had been there, but it was different, talking to her best friends about everything. They knew her, not Katherine. They had known her for years. They knew where she came from. They had known her parents. She told them about Charlotte and their long talk and about Katherine and her relationship to the brothers.

"Is it true that Stefan hit your car?" Bonnie finally asked.

"I guess so," Elena answered.

"You're not sure?" Caroline questioned.

"I didn't see Stefan. But if he was the one who was driving the other car, then yes, he hit us." She clarified. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room in which Bonnie and Caroline were throwing glances at each other and then looking sympathetically at Elena.

"I'm really sorry," Bonnie said finally.

"Me too," Caroline agreed. And Elena smiled. Glad to be able to stop keeping secrets at least from some of the people close to her.

* * *

><p>Elena woke up to sun shining in through the window. The pain had lessened a little, but that could also be due to the medication she was taking. For the first time in days she woke up with a positive feeling in the pit of her stomach. The window was slightly opened and a warm breeze came into her room smelling of freshly cut grass. It was early enough in the day for the air to still have a cool note to it and it was soothing, as it stroked across her face gently. For some reason she felt calm and reassured. She slowly turned around to grab the glass of water standing on her bedside table and was momentarily startled.<p>

"Charlotte!" She exclaimed. The woman was sitting in the chair next to her bed, smiling at her serenely.

"Good Morning, Elena," she spoke in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry," Elena scrambled to sit upright. "I forgot to call."

Charlotte laughed slightly, putting her hand lightly over Elena's. "It's okay. Don't worry. I called Jenna. I hope that was alright." She looked a little uncertain.

"Of course!" Elena reassured her. "I'm glad you're here. I can't believe you came. It wasn't necessary."

"Yes, it was." Charlotte said in a comforting but determined voice. "I want to be there from now on. For everything." She smiled and grabbed Elena's hand in hers. The two just smiled at each other quietly for a while, before Charlotte started to speak again: "Do you have news from Damon? How is he doing?"

Elena nodded her head slightly. "They say he'll make it. They won't tell me what exactly is wrong with him. They had to operate because blood was gathering in his cranium I think. They had to relieve the pressure. But he's fine now. They're keeping him in an artificial coma." Charlotte nodded, worry clearly in her eyes. "Do you want to go see him?"

"Will the let us?" Charlotte asked in surprise.

"They think I'm his girlfriend," Elena explained, blushing lightly. "So my doctor took pity on me."

Charlotte only threw her a knowing glance and went to get the wheelchair.

* * *

><p>They rolled down the long hospital hallways and this time it was Elena who was leading the way. She had a blanket tucked around her body and Charlotte pushed the chair, commenting on the nice décor. Elena could tell her mother was worried and nervous and therefore let her ramble on, to keep her mind off her fears. Finally they reached Damon's room and Charlotte pushed Elena through the door, positioned her wheelchair by his bed and then just stood there, looking down at the injured boy lying before her. Elena could see tears gathering in her eyes. She slowly reached out her hand and stroked his cheek gently and Elena found herself wishing she had the courage to do the same. Instead she simply sat there and watched her mother. Finally the older woman turned around, facing her daughter.<p>

"Jenna told me what he did to your friend," she said. "I'm so sorry." Elena could just swallow and nod. She could tell that it was difficult for the other woman to consolidate the new information she kept getting about the brothers with her own memories of them. She turned back to look at him. "He was never like this. Reckless, yes, and blunt, but he didn't intentionally inflict pain on anyone." A tear rolled down her cheeks. "He rescued a kitten," she said, a sob escaping her at the same time.

"What?" Elena asked, utterly confused.

Charlotte turned around to her, having to laugh at her puzzled expression, despite the tears that were still rolling down her skin. "He rescued a kitten. He and Katherine had gone to New York for the weekend and apparently it was stuck in an underground shaft or something, meowing away. He got it out and they left it there to find its mom, but the next day he insisted on going back and checking up on it and it was still sitting there, in the same spot, half starved. So he said he didn't care whether its mom was looking for it somewhere, he would not leave it there, not knowing it would be okay. So he took it to Chicago with him and nursed it back to health. It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. He would take it with him wherever he went. He was like Paris Hilton with that little rascal in the pocket of his leather jacket." Elena had to stifle a laugh. "He did it though. The mangy thing survived and thrived and now it's a healthy cat. A little on the fat side, if you ask me." She chuckled lightly. "He just can't stop spoiling it. He named it Thursday. I have no idea why." She looked at him again, with a wistful smile on her face.

"Where is it now?" Elena asked.

"I don't know. Maybe he took it here with him."

"I don't think so," she declined, looking at Damon. Who was this man? She wondered if he even knew himself anymore and if he would be able to figure it out again. When she had met him he had seemed so sure of himself and what he wanted. But the more she found out about him, the more certain she became that he was lost. Increasingly so, even. And that he was simply unable to find his way to a place he could be happy in. She felt for him. And she wished that there was something she could do to help him. "Tell me another story," she asked.

Charlotte smiled at her. "Did you know Stefan played High School football?" Elena was surprised at the choice in topic, but she nodded her head. "In his junior year he got into a rough hustle in practice and broke his arm. He couldn't play all season. He was really bummed out. So on thanksgiving Katherine and Damon surprised him. They had invited a few friends over. There was Lexi, Stefan's best friend, and a few others. Damon had also played football when he was still in school and so they set up a match. They were playing blonds against brunets but it was obvious that the goal was to let Stefan win. The main event was the half time show. Lexi was a cheerleader and she and the girls had invented a choreography just for Stefan. But about halfway through, Damon joined them. And he had all the moves down, except for the splits." She laughed a merry laugh at the memory. "Katherine had taught him in secret. I've never seen Stefan laugh so hard."

"They sound like they really were great together," Elena admitted.

"They were," Charlotte nodded. "Before anything else, they were best friends."

Elena nodded. It had been a happy story, but it had made her heart ache for the brothers. Not only had they lost the woman they loved, they had also lost each other. That probably hurt them just as much, if not more.

Charlotte had taken the rest of the week off work to stay with Elena and while her friends and family still came over in the afternoons after school or work, Charlotte was with her during the mornings. They would eat breakfast together and then sit in Damon's room and Charlotte would tell her stories about Katherine and the guys. Elena loved these talks. She had missed out on the life her sister and mother had lead for the past seventeen years, but she felt like she was catching up and she was glad about it.

On Sunday, they were just eating breakfast and Elena noticed that Charlotte seemed somewhat distracted, fidgety even. "What's going on Charlotte, you seem agitated," she finally inquired. She was met with an uncertain look, before the other woman finally mustered up the courage to speak.

"I went to see Stefan," she finally relayed, looking at her daughter carefully to gauge her reaction. "He's awake."

"Oh," was all Elena could say for the moment. "How is he?"

"He'll live," came the reply. "He said he felt horrible." Elena just nodded. For the past days she had just happily ignored this part of her life. As long as no one talked to her about Stefan and she didn't ask, she didn't have to think about how he was doing, what he was thinking, why he had done what he had done.

"Do you want to see him?" Charlotte asked her. That was the question, wasn't it. She honestly didn't know. Did she want to see him? She certainly had a few questions for him. But she wasn't sure she was ready to face him quite yet.

Suddenly they were interrupted by a knock on the door and Harper entered the room with a big smile.

"How are you today?" he asked, enthusiastically.

"Fine, thank you," Elena managed to squeeze out. She really liked Harper. He was friendly and always knew how to relax her and make her smile. They had settled into a friendly routine.

"I think you will feel even better when you hear my news."

"What's your great news?" she asked with a slight eye roll.

"Damon Salvatore woke up. And he's been asking about you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** __**Please review, it makes me happier than chocolate (and chocolate makes me very very happy) 3 Also, it has been brought to my attention that apparently for some people this story shows up as "Complete" which it is NOT! I'm already working on the next chapter and should update soon, so feel free to subscribe ;)  
><strong>_


	10. Chapter 10 WAKE UP

_A/N: Alright, I found the courage to update this. I am really really sorry about the long wait. I was nervous about this chapter and got caught up in my other fic instead. So thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around, who has subscribed and reviewed. It means so much to me! I am really really scared about continuing this. Probably 90% of Elena's nervousness in this chapter is actually my own LOL. So please be the kindest people on earth and tell me what you think._

_Also, I still don't own TVD, sadly. And any quotes I use in here from Paul Auster's "Book of Illusions" obviously belong to the brilliant mind of Paul Auster. BTW, that is an amazing book. And Everyone should read it in their lifetime so if you haven't yet, go get it!_

_No more talking… let's dance :)_

* * *

><p>10. WAKE UP<p>

Elena stood in front of the door to Damon's room, suddenly hesitant and rubbing her elbow lightly. She had started going short distances on crutches. It was strenuous on her arm but she detested being carted around in a wheelchair. It made her feel dependent and useless. Charlotte came up behind her, resting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Elena smiled quickly at her. She didn't know why she was suddenly nervous. It was probably simply the accumulated stress of waiting for so long. Harper pushed the door open and strolled into the room with an enthusiastic stride.

"Mr. Salvatore, I have two beautiful ladies here who want to see you. I'll give you guys a minute and come back in a while with your lunch." And with that he left the room.

Elena had fixed her eyes on his face, trying to read him, trying to gauge his reaction, but his forehead and normally so expressive eyes were still covered in gauze and the rest of his face did not give away any reaction.

"Well," he finally broke the awkward silence, "if you guys are strippers, that's just gonna be a colossal waste of effort."

Charlotte chuckled lightly and rushed over to his bedside. "Sorry to disappoint," she said with a smile in her voice. "It's just old Miss Pierce and young Miss Gilbert. Fully clothed."

"Well at least I'm not missing out on anything," he replied. Charlotte's hand reached for his arm to touch him reassuringly and suddenly his immobile form moved and he quickly grabbed her arm to hold it in place. For a second he looked like his abrupt movement startled himself. When Charlotte sat down on his bed with him, petting his hand lightly before turning back to Elena, he slowly let go of her hand. "So how is the young Miss Gilbert? Other than fully clothed?" he asked.

Elena still stood awkwardly between the door and his bed, at a distance to the pair. He looked just like he had all week, half his face hidden under bandages, tubes and wires protruding from underneath the white blanket that covered the rest of his body. Only now he was awake, he was speaking, he was making inappropriate jokes. Elena felt an inexplicable feeling of anxiety well up inside her. Charlotte looked at her, seeing the panic in her eyes.

"She's fine," the older woman finally said. "But she should sit down. Come sit, Elena." She waved her daughter over to a chair next to the bed while speaking.

Now put on the spot, Elena started moving over in their direction, the rubber pads making slight squeaky noises on the linoleum floor. When she reached the chair, she dropped into it clumsily, her cast scratching the wood lightly.

"She doesn't sound fine," Damon said, turning his head in the direction of where he assumed Elena was sitting.

Elena sat in the chair, feeling uncomfortable but Charlotte gave her a look that was obviously meant to push her to speak so she finally gathered her courage and answered him: "No, no. I'm fine. Really."

"What's with the crutches?" he asked, not satisfied with her efforts to reassure him.

"It's nothing. I have a broken leg. It's already healing," she said, trying to sound as confident as possible. He still seemed unconvinced and was about to speak again when the door flew open and Harper stepped back into the room.

"Alright, Mr. Salvatore, time for lunch." Elena thought she saw Damon tense up slightly.

"I'm not really hungry," he said quietly.

"Doctor's orders," the male nurse replied good-humoredly.

"Well, you should probably go eat lunch, too," Damon then said in the direction of Charlotte. "Thanks for stopping by, though." Charlotte took a deep breath before smiling slightly and moving to get up.

"No, we just got here," Elena said abruptly, not understanding why they would leave already. She had so many things she wanted to tell him. She knew that he would not have any other visitors and she wanted to be there for him. She wanted to know how he was, what injuries he was suffering from. She wanted to talk to him about Stefan. Most of all she wanted to thank him for saving her life. "We can just wait," she tried.

Damon was still for a moment before replying: "That's nice… but it's not necessary."

Elena was going to object again, but Charlotte was faster. She got up quickly and shot Elena a conspirative look. "Yes, I think we should go," she announced. "My plane is leaving soon. I should get ready." Elena looked at her wide-eyed. Her plane was not leaving for another few hours. Why did she want to go? "But I'm so glad I got to see you before leaving. I'm so relieved you woke up." Elena could tell the older woman was fighting back tears. She watched her lean down quickly and place a gentle kiss on Damon's cheek before letting go of him and saying: "I'll come back soon. You just get healthy, okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Damon agreed, giving her a slight smile.

"Come on Elena, let's go," Charlotte said, already heading towards the door. Elena was at a loss for words but got up laboriously to follow her mother.

"Bye, Damon," she said while turning around to leave.

"Bye," he answered, still not moving in his bed.

Outside the room, Charlotte was waiting for her daughter, giving her a compassionate smile. "Why did you want to leave?" Elena asked her, confused. She had seen the sorrow in the other woman's face. She would have thought her to be more reluctant to leave Damon.

"He wanted us to leave," Charlotte said pacifyingly as they started to head back to Elena's room. The feeling of hurt that Elena felt shoot through her entire body must have been apparent on her face because her mother gave her a knowing look. "Don't worry. He just woke up to this entirely new condition, he's still adjusting. And he's uncomfortable."

"What do you mean?" Elena asked, confused.

"Elena, he can't see." She watched her daughter to see if she caught onto what she was trying to tell her. "How is he going to eat lunch without spilling his food everywhere? The nurse will probably have to feed him." Elena's eyes widened, tears threatening to well up. "He doesn't want us to see that. He doesn't want you to see that. He has never been weak. He has never been helpless. He has never depended on anyone. This is hard for him. Don't make it harder."

Elena's voice cracked when she spoke. "But it's only temporary, right? He'll see again."

"I don't know," Charlotte answered sadly. "You should ask him the next time you go see him."

"Maybe I shouldn't go again," Elena replied, a single tear that had defied her efforts to stay in control now rolling down her face.

"Of course you should," her mother was quick to reassure her. "Just because he can't accept your help that doesn't mean he doesn't want or need it. Just like your friendship."

Elena stared at her mother, wanting to believe what she was saying. "How can you know this?" she asked.

"Well, I've known Damon for a long time now. And then, after Katherine's accident I spent a lot of time at the hospital. I couldn't stand the idea of leaving my daughter there alone but I also started to feel useless, just sitting by her bed, doing nothing all day. So I spoke with the nurses and I started to volunteer. Just a few hours every day. I was helping out with the caretaking and most of the patients were elderly. I have met quite a few people who have lost their eyesight. It is never easy, whether it be through accident or sickness." They had reached Elena's room and she was grateful to be able to lie down again. Her leg felt heavy from the blood that was gathering in it and being able to put it up was a relief. She also felt the strain on her elbow from walking on the crutches. "The world is a scary place when you suddenly can't see anymore," Charlotte continued. "Did you notice how he grabbed my hand?" Elena nodded. She had noticed, but she had thought he was simply happy she was there. "We constantly gauge our surroundings. Usually we do it with our eyes. We measure distances, we anticipate dangers, we assess other people's reactions. Damon can't do this right now, not in the conventional way. He can't see. And he's not used to using his other senses, like hearing. So to him, the world in confusing and unpredictable right now. He doesn't really know where you are in the room and it makes him uncomfortable. When I sat down and we touched, he could place me. He could feel where I was without having to rely on his hearing. And he could sense if there are big mood swings because they would have resulted in me changing positions. It's little things like this that help him feel less lost right now."

Elena nodded. She remembered how disoriented and scared she had felt when she had woken up and her vision had been blurred. She couldn't imagine waking up to complete darkness.

* * *

><p>Elena sat in her room, looking out the window at the evening sun. Charlotte had left for the airport a while ago. They had said a teary goodbye and she had waited by her window to see her mother get into a cab to drive off. Before fully stepping into the car, the woman leaving had turned around and searched the façade of the hospital and, upon seeing Elena stand by the open window, had smiled brightly and waved. Elena couldn't believe how close she had gotten to her mother in only a few days' time. She couldn't believe she actually thought of her as her mother. Of course she couldn't replace Miranda in her memories. She couldn't fill the hole her death had left. But she could find a new, a different position in her life and fill that. And she had done so quickly. Elena could see that Charlotte was hurting, too. Her daughter, the only one she had known, had been in a coma for over a year now and the two men she had started to accept as sons had turned into the worst versions of themselves. And still she found it in her to be so accepting of everyone, to see the good in them and to help them through their dark times. She had gone to see Stefan. Elena couldn't imagine going to see him right now. She wouldn't have known what to say and she surely didn't want to listen to what he would have to say to her. She felt inspired by her mother's strength and she wanted to use this inspiration to help Damon. If her mother could forgive these two men for everything they had done, she would surely be able to find it in herself to forgive the man who had saved her life and to be there for him when he had no one else. Determined, she got out of bed and limped through the now mostly empty hallways towards his room.<p>

When she knocked on his door there was no answer, but she could hear the TV running on the other side so she decided to walk in anyways. She opened the door carefully and stepped in warily. She saw him move slightly on his bed and realized that he wasn't able to see her.

"Hi, it's me, Elena," she said, remembering what Charlotte had told her about his need to gauge his surroundings.

"Hi," he said, sounding surprised. "You're back."

"Yes. I figured… I don't know… that maybe you felt lonely and would like some company." She inched closer towards his bed.

"Oh I'm fine," he said dismissively, "I have a TV."

"You're watching TV?" she asked slightly amused.

"The news. You don't need the images to understand what's going on. They just narrate everything you see anyways."

"The news all day, huh? Doesn't that get depressing?" she asked, trying to make conversation and feeling like she was failing miserably.

"Yes, it's the news that's depressing me," he replied sarcastically. Yes, she was definitely failing miserably.

"Would you like me to sit on your bed?" she asked, changing the subject and remembering that Charlotte had said it would make him more comfortable.

"What?" he asked, startled. She could see his jaw tense and she just knew he would be frowning if his head weren't covered in bandages. Then his jaw relaxed slightly and his mouth turned into a smirk. "Are you propositioning me, Gilbert?"

"No!" she replied, completely flustered. "I was just…" she heard him chuckle and was actually glad he couldn't see her flushing bright red. She waited a moment to calm her nerves before speaking again. "I just want to know how you're doing. The doctors wouldn't tell me anything."

"I guess I'm fine now," he said reluctantly. "Healing. I had a blood clot in my head that they had to drain."

Elena nodded before realizing that he wouldn't see it. "Yes, they did tell me that. But I was wondering about your other injuries." She took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice calm. "Will you make a full recovery?"

"That's what they keep telling me," he said, sounding reassuring but Elena suspected that he was uncertain himself. When she didn't speak, he sighed and continued. "I have a skull fracture but it's apparently uncomplicated and doesn't worry them. My left leg is broken in two places, as is my left arm. My hip is cracked but not broken. I have a few broken ribs that were pressing onto my lungs. That's why I'm still hooked up to all the wires. They want to make sure I don't fall back into a coma or suffocate because my clot comes back or a rib decides to poke me again." He was saying it playfully but Elena found it hard to breathe. "Three of my fingers are also broken, two on the left hand and one on the right hand. And my optical nerve has been hurt. Apparently when I hit my head during the accident, the force of the impact travelled through the optical nerve which absorbed the excess energy. Also the blood clot additionally bruised it. I also have vitreous hemorrhage which means that blood seeped into my eyeball basically." He stopped speaking again, apparently waiting for her to comment. The callous way in which he spoke about his injuries made her think that he probably wanted to shock her, therefore she refused to give him the satisfaction and simply remained silent. "But the nerve hasn't been severed, so it should heal and I should be able to see again. Or so they tell me. Same with the blood in my eyes. It should just go away. But they can't tell how long it will take. It could be days or months. They might have to operate again."

"But you'll see again," Elena said, glad that he would probably not retain any lasting damage.

"Most likely," he acquiesced.

"I'm so glad!" she exclaimed. "And I… well, I'll be here and help you until you are healed. Whatever you need, you know."

"Well thanks but that's what the nurses are for, you know." He replied in what seemed to her an unfriendly tone.

"I know. But I want to be there for you. I mean, you don't have anyone else visiting…"

"I don't need your pity, Elena," he said tersely.

"That's not what I meant," Elena started but was cut off right away.

"Let me spare you the trouble, Elena. You don't owe me anything, I'm not dead, so you don't need to feel survivor's guilt. And we're not friends, so you don't have to care. I'll be fine. You can go back to school and be happy again. Forget about all of Stefan's and my drama."

"Of course we're friends!" she protested.

"No, we're not," he disagreed immediately. "You're my brother's – ex – I suppose. We happened to be in the same car accident, but I don't need your pity and I don't need your help."

Elena felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn't understand what just happened. "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't… I just…"

"It's fine. Just please leave me alone right now? I'm tired. I'd like to sleep." As if to underline his statement he turned off the TV and pulled the blanket up to his chin.

Elena was stunned but also humiliated. All week she had been thinking about the moment when he would wake up and they would talk for the first time. She would never admit it, but she had imagined he would be as relieved about her survival and recovery as she was about his. She had thought that the traumatic accident would have probably shaken him up and that he would have realized the error of his ways, that he was wasting his time making everyone around him miserable and that he needed to get over his pain and embrace life again. And she had imagined that she could be there helping him while he went through this process. But he was saying they weren't even friends and asked her to leave. She was sad, but more than that she was embarrassed for having felt a connection to him through this shared trauma that he, very apparently, didn't feel. She turned around quickly and left as fast as her handicapped state would allow her.

* * *

><p>The next day was a Monday and neither Jenna nor Jeremy could come to the hospital in the morning so Elena spent it sitting in bed, wondering how her talk with Damon had gone so awry. He had seemed somewhat sociable at first, had even seemed genuinely happy when Charlotte was there earlier. He had asked about her and had shown concern… Why had he suddenly cut her off? She had tried to make him more comfortable, had even offered to sit with him, as Charlotte had explained, but he wouldn't let her. How had they gone from slowly approaching each other to complete rejection? She was baffled and glad for the distraction when Caroline and Bonnie stopped by in the afternoon. They brought her news from school as well as a new reading assignment.<p>

"So how are you? Charlotte left?" Caroline finally asked, after having gone on and on about how Mr. Saltzman had seemed distracted in class today and how she thought that he was in love with Jenna and that was the reason.

"Yes, she did. She said she would try to come back soon, though." Elena told them. Then, after a short pause, she added: "Damon woke up."

Her friends looked stunned. Bonnie was the first to find her voice again. "How is he?" she asked.

"I don't know. Good I guess. The doctors are hopeful he'll make a full recovery," Elena recounted.

"You don't sound very excited," Bonnie observed. "I thought you'd be happy he woke up."

"I was," Elena admitted. "We had kind of a fight I guess."

"He just woke up and the first thing he does is fight with you?" Caroline butted in. "That's so typical."

"What were you fighting about?" Bonnie asked, sounding a lot more leveled than their blonde friend.

"I don't even know, really," Elena began, shrugging. "I was just telling him that I was glad he was going to recover and that I would help him with whatever he needed and he just… he said we weren't friends and he didn't need my help." She didn't like how upset she was sounding.

"Of course the great Damon Salvatore doesn't need anybody's help!" Caroline exclaimed. "Just be glad he doesn't consider you a friend. Now you don't have to feel guilty about his sorry ass lying alone in the hospital. When are you being released?"

Elena stopped listening for a second. That was what Charlotte had said, wasn't it? That he didn't want help, he didn't want to feel weak or like he depended on anyone. And that's what she had made him feel like, wasn't it? She had told him she wanted to be there for him because no one else was and that she wanted to help him. She could see why he had pushed her away. It still hurt. But she made a decision. She would not let him get away with it. She had seen glimpses of someone else, of something more. Glimpses of a young man who had hope for a good life and who had people he cared about enough to do anything to make them happy. He deserved to be that guy, he deserved to be happy and maybe she wasn't the right person to get him to that point, but right now, like it or not, she really was the only one around. And she would not let him push her away and retreat back into his shell of loneliness and disdain.

"Elena!" She was snapped back by Caroline calling her name.

"What?" she asked, having missed what seemed to be a substantial part of the conversation.

"I was asking if you were going to the dance," Caroline explained.

"The decade dance? That's like months away," Elena replied, a little confused.

"Well, now that Stefan's out of the picture, who are you going to go with?" Caroline kept prodding.

"I don't know, I…" Elena was at a loss for words.

"We should wait until she's released at least," Bonnie chuckled.

"I'm just saying… People are asking." Caroline hinted.

"People?" Elena asked warily.

"Yes. You are quite popular with the man folk, you know," Caroline said, giggling.

Elena rolled her eyes slightly. "I don't know I just… I don't think about that right now."

"Fine, I'll wait until you get out of here. But then I will make you have this conversation with me, no matter how much you try to resist!"

"Maybe we should get going," Bonnie suggested, seeing the reluctant look on Elena's face. "You look tired and we still have that paper to write, Car."

The blonde begrudgingly accepted and with lots of hugs and see you tomorrows and air kisses Elena was left alone again. Jenna and Jeremy stopped by for dinner and Elena tried to get some information about her teacher out of her aunt but was sadly unsuccessful. She did catch Jeremy throwing her a cheeky smile and a conspirative wink, however, and made a mental note to make him report back to her on that issue at a later time.

After she was finally alone, she put her plan into action. She put on the bathrobe her aunt had brought her from home and squeezed the book she had to read for class under her arm. Then she made the tedious way on her crutches to Damon's room. Standing in front of it, she felt nervous again. But this time, she wouldn't let it weaken her. She had a plan now and the feeling of having a purpose alone made her feel a lot more confident. She knocked on the door but didn't get an answer. Again she could make out the sound of the TV from behind the door and without hesitating further, she stepped into the room.

"Hi Damon, it's me, Elena," she said, while closing the door behind her and making her way towards the chair by his bed.

"Uhm, hi," came his answer, sounding somewhat confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I'll sound stupid. I just… I hate being alone in my room. It's so quiet, especially now that it's dark outside. It makes me uneasy. I was just wondering if I could sit here for a while. Just for the company." She waited for him to reply, holding her breath lightly and when no answer was forthcoming, she figured a little more persuasion might be necessary. "I have this book that I have to read for school so I won't bother you at all. I just don't want to be alone right now."

Again there was a silence, but this time he finally gave her an answer. "Uhm okay, sure," he said, obviously unsure about what this would entail.

"Great, thanks," she said and lowered herself gracelessly into the low chair. After she had settled in, she started reading. She heard Damon sink back further into his pillows and waited to see if he would try and talk to her at some point.

After what had felt to Elena like an hour but had probably only been about ten minutes, he still hadn't addressed her and she was getting a little impatient. "Damon?" she asked quietly.

"Yes?" came his reply.

"My leg is starting to feel really heavy. Would you mind if I sat down on your bed so I could prop it up?" She tried to sound as casual as possible.

"Getting a little demanding there, aren't we?" he smirked. She couldn't help but notice that he hadn't said no.

"I'll just sit at the bottom of your bed so I can lean against the foot end. I just want to stretch my leg out. I won't bother you, I swear." Again she held her breath.

"Alright fine," he conceded. "But no funny business. I'm watching TV." He smiled lightly and she could have jumped for joy at seeing him joke again. At least he had stopped completely blocking her off. She got up as quickly as possible and heaved herself onto his bed. He moved over slightly to give her space and she grabbed her leg with her hands to haul it onto the mattress. The pain had gotten a lot better by now but she still wasn't really able to move it. She scooted up to the foot end and leaned against it, her legs stretched out in front of her. Damon was lying under the covers but they were thin and since they had both broken their left legs, she could feel the warmth of their relatively unharmed right legs radiating off each other. His feet reached down to the spot next to her where they were forming a little mount under the blanket, while hers stopped at his hips. When they had settled down, she started reading again and he turned his attention back to the TV.

This time it was him who broke the silence. "What are you reading?" he asked.

"It's for lit class," she replied, dropping the book into her lap. "_The Book of Illusions_ by Paul Auster. Have you read it?" He only shook his head. "Well, he's supposedly one of the best contemporary American authors. I have to write a paper on this at the end of the term."

"No more_ Gone with the Wind_?" he asked with a small smirk.

"No, I'm done with the Ashleys and the Rhetts of this world and concentrating on finding the truths behind the illusions instead." She smiled.

"Is it any good?" he asked.

"I don't know. Well, I started to read it but I'm having trouble with it actually. Could I read it to you and get your opinion?"

"That's cheating, Miss Gilbert." He chided her playfully.

"No it's not," she said with a smile, shoving her knee lightly against his in a reprimanding manner. "I'm just asking your opinion. It's crowdsourcing."

At that he had to laugh lightly and then nodded, turning off the TV. "Alright fine, read me your book."

A wide grin was plastered on her face as she flipped the few pages back to the beginning and started to read: "_Everyone thought he was dead._"

* * *

><p>They had been sitting like this for a while. Elena reading and Damon just lying there, listening to her voice. Once she looked up and realized that she couldn't even be sure if he was still awake or if he had fallen asleep. He was slightly propped up on his pillow, facing her but at a great distance and completely immobile. She looked at him quietly for a second, a little proud with herself.<p>

"Why have you stopped reading?" he suddenly asked and she shot up slightly, startled at the sound of his voice.

"I just… I wanted to thank you, Damon."

"For what?"

"For saving my life. The way that you turned the car, before the impact, that saved my life."

He quietly contemplated this for a while before answering. "It was a reflex. I told you you didn't owe me anything."

"I know," she replied quickly. "I'm still thankful."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you! Please review :)<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11 IMPOSSIBLE THINGS & MIRACLES

_A/N: Happy TVD-Thursday my loves! Thank you all so much for subscribing and reviewing, it really makes me sooooooo happy! I know this is probably the worst possible timing to upload a new chapter as no one is going to be on FF today. But I couldn't wait. It was finished and once something's finished I can't have it sitting around or it'll drive me crazy. So there you go. Also, I have already written half of the next chapter so that should also be up soonish… Fingers crossed for tonight! My DE heart is already having palpitation from anxiety. LOL_

_P.S.: TVD doesn't belong to me! Also the quotes I use in this chapter are from the amazing book "The Book of Illusions" by Paul Auster which you should all go and read THIS INSTANT (well, after you've finished this chapter of course ;)_

* * *

><p>11. IMPOSSIBLE THINGS AND MIRACLES<p>

Elena was limping down the hospital corridors again. She had been surprised that Damon had let her stay the night before. He hadn't shut her out, he had talked to her, he had been somewhat open. She pressed the book to her side with her elbow while hobbling awkwardly along the sterile hallways on her crutches. She wondered what mood he would be in tonight; if he would allow her to sit on his bed again and read to him or if he would tell her to leave as soon as she walked through his door. Only one way to find out, she figured, as she knocked lightly on his door.

"Yes?" she heard his voice and was surprised that he actually answered.

"It's me, Elena," she said as she entered the room and hopped slowly in the direction of his bed.

"You again. Why? Scared of the ghosts?" he asked with a smirk.

"There are ghosts now?" Elena returned the question in an annoyed tone, leaning on her crutches.

"Of course. We're in a hospital. People die horrible deaths here every day. This is probably the second most haunted place in town, right after the scary witches burial ground in the woods."

"Those are myths. And you're being horrible!" she scolded.

"You're still scared though," he persisted, his smirk never leaving his face.

"I just don't like being alone," she mumbled defiantly. His smirk widened but then he stopped teasing her and slowly scooted over a little bit as if to make room for her on his bed. He was trying to hide it, but it was obvious that the movement gave him pain. Elena hesitated a second, not wanting to read too much into it.

"It's better for your leg if you sit up here, right?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied quickly and went to climb onto his bed before he could change his mind. "I just thought I'd have to fight you for it," she added with a smile.

"I'm hopped up on pain killers and very amiable right now. Don't ruin it."

Elena chuckled lightly and settled against the footrest, her leg almost touching his again. "So would it be okay if I read to you again?" she asked, already opening the book.

"Would it stop you if I said no?" he returned with a slight scoff. Elena noticed the playful undertone though and therefore decided to react to what he meant and not to what he said.

"Thank you for being so amiable!" She stressed the last word which made him chuckle again. Then she began to read: "_We all want to believe in impossible things, I suppose, to persuade ourselves that miracles can happen_."

* * *

><p>That was how the week went by. Bonnie and Caroline came over after school to catch her up on the gossip and bring her her assignments and Jenna and Jeremy came over and had dinner with her. But every day Elena found that the hours passed more and more slowly, that the stories from school were becoming more and more tedious and that she was more and more looking forward to the moment when her family had left for the night, Harper had given her her medicine and she could clamp her book under her arm and go visit Damon. They didn't even do anything exciting or talk about anything meaningful, they just sat together on his bed, in the same position every night, and she read to him, until they reached a passage that sparked a discussion. They always spoke in very general terms about how the world was, what people are like, how a certain passage could be interpreted in the grand scheme of things. They steered clear of any personal references or anecdotes. Still, it wasn't just small talk. Elena felt like they were having meaningful conversations. At least they were meaningful to her. Damon was quick witted and had seen a lot more of the world than she had and he had a very different take on life, which often annoyed Elena, but always fascinated her.<p>

Most of all she was just glad that he let her in. She knew he didn't really let many people into his life and it made her feel special to know that he made a small exception for her. She realized that he was probably simply lonely and that her company was better than none, but she still got the feeling that he also enjoyed their talks and that he looked forward to her nightly visits. The third night she showed up he had stopped questioning it and simply scooted over to make room for her on his bed. The fourth night, when she knocked, she heard the TV turn off before he asked her to come in. He was waiting for her to read to him, she was sure of it, and it made her strangely happy.

Today was Saturday and Jenna had come by around noon to spend as much time with her niece as possible. Jeremy would have come, but he was apparently on a mysterious date. He hadn't told Jenna who with, just that he wouldn't be able to make it to the hospital. Elena didn't mind too much, she was glad her brother was getting back to living his life and anything that made him happy made her happy. Plus, she was hoping to be able to grill Jenna a little on her relationship with one Alaric Saltzman. They were playing a card game when they heard a quick knock on the door and Dr. Fell came into the room.

"Miss Gilbert," she greeted with a friendly smile, "how are you feeling today?"

"Good," Elena replied, smiling just as widely.

"No pain, no dizziness, no discomfort?" The doctor inquired.

"No, everything's fine. I mean I can't put pressure on my leg but as long as it's still, I'm okay."

"Alright, that sounds very good. Let me just check your vitals real quick and then we'll take you in for a final x-ray." The doctor started to move around Elena checking her pulse and reflexes. She then inspected her sprained arm and her bruises but looked rather pleased with the results. Though Elena was still a little sore in some areas, most injuries other than her broken leg had healed. She was then taken to get another x-ray and afterwards rolled back into her room to wait for the doctor to come back with the results.

"So…" Elena started when she was sitting back in her room with her aunt. "How are things in the outside world?"

"Uhm, good. Same as always," Jenna answered, not sure what her niece was expecting.

"Any big changes I should prepare myself for?" Elena kept prodding.

"Like what?" Jenna asked, confused. "Elections aren't until November."

Elena chuckled lightly. "Not what I meant, Jenna. I was thinking more around the house, you know… Have you moved any furniture around… Have you actually had anyone fix the garbage disposal… Is there anyone… you know… new hanging around the house more often than before?"

"Well, Jeremy has this mystery-girl he's seeing," Jenna started but was cut off immediately by Elena.

"I'm talking about Mr. Saltzman, Jenna! Are you seeing him? You cannot hold out on me like that!"

"No, Elena," Jenna started, hesitantly. "He's your teacher. It would be weird."

"Why would it be weird?"

"Because…" Jenna looked at her niece with wide eyes. "It just would. For you. And Jeremy. I mean, you don't want you teacher in your home…"

"Oh no," Elena interjected. "You're not doing this! You're not using us as an excuse because you are too chicken to admit you like him. Come on Jenna, he's a nice guy. I know you like him, he obviously likes you too. Just take the leap!"

"Look at you, being all motivational speakery," Jenna smiled brightly. At that moment the door opened.

"Miss Gilbert, I got all the results back," the doctor stated in a cheery voice. "Everything looks great. You're healing quickly and there are no complications."

"Oh that's great!" Jenna exclaimed happily.

"Yes. We have decided to release you tomorrow."

"Oh my god, that's wonderful!" Jenna cried out. Elena just sat there, stunned. She had gotten used to her routine, she had gotten used to being here. She felt an anxious feeling creep up inside her and she didn't know why. She looked at her aunt who smiled at her so happily. She should be happy, she realized. She should be excited. She had spent two weeks in the hospital, she should be glad to get to go home. She was. She missed her own bed, she missed her friends, she looked forward to going to school again and to leaving the sterile hospital halls behind her. But she couldn't shake the sense of dread. For Jenna's sake she tried to look happy and smile, however.

"In about two weeks' time you should be able to start physical therapy for your leg. I'll give you an appointment for next Monday to check up on how the bone is healing," Dr. Fell explained.

"Wow, I'm… that's great," Elena tried to sounds enthusiastic. "Um, what about Damon?"

"He will have to stay here for quite a while. His fractures are more numerous and more severe than yours. His immune system isn't in the best shape. And we definitely want to keep him here until he has his eyesight back. So, he'll be here for a while. But of course, you can keep visiting him any time."

"Yeah ok, sure, that's fine," Elena said quickly, getting uncomfortable under her aunt's inquisitive stare.

"Alright," the doctor said, still smiling. "I have to go. You should be able to come pick her up after lunch tomorrow," she added in the direction of Jenna.

"So," Jenna drawled after the door had clicked shut. "You have been seeing Damon?"

"I haven't been _seeing_ Damon!" Elena scoffed. "I just… I went to see how he was doing. He has no one else you know. Stefan's in the hospital himself and I don't know of any other family or friends, so…"

"I didn't say anything. I'm just making an observation."

"No, you're insinuating things. And it's not true. I just… he saved my life, Jenna. I owe him." She cringed on the inside, knowing that he didn't want her to feel that way. He didn't want her visiting him out of a sense of obligation or guilt. And she wasn't. She truly went because she enjoyed spending time with him. But she doubted that her aunt would understand it.

"Come on, after all the crap you've been giving me about Rick, I can't tease you about Damon? Methinks the lady protests too much…" Jenna gave her a teasing smirk.

Elena felt a blush creep up her cheeks and hoped that it wasn't visible. "It's not like that," she tried weakly. "He's still in love with Katherine anyways and after all this mess with Stefan... I just… he's the only one who really understands, you know?" She looked at her aunt imploringly.

Jenna didn't say anything back but just watched her with an evaluating look.

* * *

><p>"So, I'm being released tomorrow," she said. She was sitting at the foot-end of his bed again and watched him intently, trying to gauge his reaction. She hated that she couldn't see his eyes. All in all, he did look a lot better though. The EKG wires had been removed. Only one tube with painkillers was still attached to his arm. He was almost always sitting upright now and moving seemed to have become easier for him, thought he still tried to avoid it as much as possible. He could use his right arm and to some extent even his left one, even though it was in a cast.<p>

"That's great," he finally answered with a smile. "You get to go home."

"Yeah," she replied and then paused, not sure what to say next. "I have a doctor's appointment next Monday though, so I'll stop by then. See how you're doing."

"Sure. Don't worry about it though." She thought she saw disappointment in his face, without seeing his eyes however, she could never be sure. A silence ensued as Elena ran out of things to say. "So," he restarted the conversation. "One last reading session before you return to real life?"

"I guess so," she answered with a sad smile, glad that he couldn't see it. Then she started to read. This book hit closer to home than any other reading assignment she had to do for school. The narrator had lost his wife and children in a plane crash and she felt like she could relate to it because of what she had been through herself. Normally she could get through it. Feeling Damon so close, knowing that this was probably hard on him as well, since he had also lost someone he had loved, gave her strength. They never talked about it, but the shared heartache she imagined was enough to console her. Today, however, was different.

"_I always dreamed that Helen was with me, and every time I reached out to take hold of her, I would wake up with a sudden, violent lurch, my hands trembling and my lungs gasping for air, feeling as if I'd been about to drown. I couldn't go into our bedroom after dark, but I spent a lot of time there during the day, standing inside Helen's closet and touching her clothes, rearranging her jackets and sweaters, lifting her dresses off their hangers and spreading them out on the floor._" Elena had to stop reading and took a deep breath. She felt the ache burn in her throat that comes from suppressing tears and she knew that if she kept reading, Damon would be able to hear it in her voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," Elena replied quickly, surprised that she managed to squeeze the word out in a relatively clear voice. "Just um… need some water." She reached over to the bedside table to grab the glass that was standing there.

"Elena," he spoke again, this time with more emphasis, "what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath. He didn't want to hear this. This was personal. And he didn't do personal. But he had asked and she wasn't able to continue reading, so she might as well answer. "That's what I did," she started, her voice scratchy from the repressed tears. "After my parents died." She had to make a pause and swallow the pain down. Damon only sat in silence and waited for her to continue. "I wouldn't allow Jenna to wash my parents' clothes. I went to the laundry basket and got all of my dad's shirts. I wore them for days." She finally felt a tear trickle down her cheek. She tried to fight them back, but now that one had escaped, the others followed rapidly. She wiped them away quickly, hoping that Damon wouldn't catch on to the watery quality in her voice. "I used my mom's shampoo and make-up. I would lie on her side of the bed every day. For hours. Imagining that I could still smell her perfume on the pillow." She drew in a sharp gasp, not able to control her breathing. "God, it was so long ago, I should have moved on," she cried. "Everyone else is moving on." She fell into silence that was only broken by her occasional sobs as she tried to calm herself down again.

"Come here," he said after a long bout of silence and started to pull the sheet away slightly. Elena looked at him stunned, forgetting to breathe altogether for a second. "Come on," he said again, as if talking to a little child. He unfolded his right arm invitingly, moving the IV-tube out of the way. Elena was still stunned but moved over to him as if in trance. The cast around her leg was making it more difficult, but when she had managed to turn around and reach his side, she realized that it had been worth it. She carefully lay down next to him and leaned in slightly. His right arm pulled her in instantly so that her head was resting on his shoulder and his hand was stroking her hair gently.

"I was getting better," she whimpered. "I don't know why I'm crying right now." She felt weak and she didn't want to look weak in front of him. She wanted to be strong for him and help him, not be a weeping mess in his arms.

"It's okay," he said quietly. "Not crying doesn't mean you're getting better. And crying doesn't mean you're not."

Another wave of sobs rolled through her body and shook her. She just lay there, letting her tears fall onto his shirt, feeling the soothing warmth of his body against hers and his hand comb lazily through her hair. For the first time in a long time she felt like she didn't have to be ashamed for her pain, the way she was at school and around her friends, who wanted her to move on, to be the fun Elena again that she used to be. She felt like he understood why she held on to the hurt for so long and in a strange way it set her free. She slowly calmed down. She felt exhausted from crying, both physically and emotionally and felt herself relax into his arm, enveloped by his scent, feeling safe. The sobs slowly subsided.

"I'm sorry," she finally said, wiping the remaining tears off her cheeks.

"You should be," he replied. "That story about wearing your dad's dirty shirts was nasty." She could hear the smirk in his voice and felt his hand still stroking her hair slowly and she couldn't help a short giggle. It was only half amused and still half sad but it was there and it helped her breathe again. "Plus, that's just torturing yourself. You should have simply done what any normal person does and developed a drinking habit."

"Is that what you did? After Katherine?" Elena asked and regretted her forwardness instantly. She felt him go rigid next to her. He was going to shut her out again in 3… 2… 1… "I'm sorry," she hastened to say, hoping to do some damage control. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just… It's what my brother did. He got high. Every day. And I just don't understand. And I want to understand. I don't want to feel so distant from him, like he's a stranger to me."

"Maybe you should ask _him_ about what's going on with him." Damon replied.

"I know," Elena admitted. "Just whenever I talk to him about it, I start criticizing him. I don't even want to do it, it just comes out that way. I just don't understand what he's doing. It's like he doesn't want to remember them at all. He turns so numb, he doesn't care about anything. Isn't feeling pain better than feeling nothing?"

"Why? Pain is the worst. Why would you want to feel it if you could feel nothing instead?"

"I felt like I was still connected to them. Like at least, as long as I felt the pain, they weren't really gone. Does that make sense?" she asked and tilted her head up to look at him.

"No, it doesn't. They're gone either way. Feeling the pain just reminds you of how much your life sucks," he explained. Elena didn't know what to say. She rested her head against his shoulder again and contemplated what he had just told her. He was the one to break the silence first. "I got drunk," he stated quietly. "Every day. I went to the gym in the morning and then I went to the bar and got drunk." He took a deep breath. "I didn't sleep at my place for at least a month. I couldn't strip the sheets off my bed, they still smelled like her. She had spent the week before going to Stefan's for the weekend. I dropped out of College. Well, I just stopped going. My friend Andie came over, burned my sheets and poured my liquor down the drain. I was so mad. That was good Bourbon." He chuckled lightly but Elena could tell that it was a humorless laugh.

"And you say my methods sucked. It sounds like you were miserable despite all your no-feeling-strategies," Elena scoffed.

"I guess so," came his pensive reply.

"Jeremy's miserable too. He tries to seem fine but he isn't. I can tell," Elena explained sadly.

"Aren't you quite the little clairvoyant, knowing what other people feel at all times?" he joked.

"Not at all times. But I know my brother," she replied.

"Sure." Was all he said in return.

After a short bout of silence, Elena spoke again: "What got your life back on track?"

He chuckled almost involuntarily. "What makes you say my life is back on track?" he asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "Isn't it?"

"Well, for the past year my sole purpose has been to cause my brother as much pain as possible. And right now I'm in the hospital because he finally had enough and crashed his car into mine. So you tell me."

"Why did you do it if you felt bad about it?" she asked.

"I didn't feel bad about it," he replied bluntly. Elena swallowed uncomfortably. This was the Damon she had met, the Damon who hurt Caroline without blinking in order to hurt his own brother in the process. And yet she had seen a caring side to him, a wounded side, one that she understood and could relate to and it made his angry and vengeful side seem less foreign to her as well.

* * *

><p>Jenna picked Elena up after lunch on Sunday. They drove back to their house and Elena felt a strange sense of relief as she entered through the front door. She was suddenly enveloped by familiar smells and colors. She slowly worked her way up the stairs to her room and saw that it hadn't changed a bit. Even her sweater was still lying on the back of her chair. It felt good to be home, to lie in her own bed, to have her clothes and her bathroom, to have the picture of her parents on her nightstand; but at the same time it felt odd to be back here after what seemed to her like an eternity, to be back in this room that was still exactly the same, when she herself felt somehow inexplicably but fundamentally changed.<p>

Monday came around and with that Elena's first day back in school. It was strange, walking those hallways again. She was still wearing her cast and felt her classmates' eyes bore holes into her back after she passed them. Everybody knew. Everybody knew that she had been in a car accident and that it had been her boyfriend who hit the car that she was in with his brother. Everyone knew the facts and almost everyone had a different theory of what were the reasons behind them. Elena heard a wide variety of theories, ranging from her wanting to elope with Damon and Stefan wanting to stop them to a drag race having gone wrong. She was sure that after all this was over, she would either be labeled a slut or a crazy person. She didn't care for either of those titles, but any theory was probably still better than the truth which was that this almost fatal confrontation between brothers had happened over her, even though neither one of them really wanted to be with her. So she figured that, as long as no one knew what was actually going on, people might refrain from wanting to talk to her about it. Or at least so she hoped. She had kept up well with her work and didn't have too much trouble following her classes. She was also glad to see her friends again, to get back to a somewhat normal routine. But she couldn't help but feel antsy all day. She didn't know why. She felt impatient and had a strong desire to get away from all these people looking at her and all these topics that didn't interest her. Like trigonometry and who Dana wanted to go to the dance with. She caught herself staring out of the window every so often, staring at the woods beyond the schoolyard or at a cloud in the sky, lost in her thoughts. But when she caught herself and tried to remember where her mind had wandered, she drew a complete blank. It was like she had simply spaced out.

When she got home, she was completely exhausted. She was physically tired and her leg ached, but she was also emotionally drained. She wasn't used to being around so many people anymore, nor was she used to interacting all day. In the hospital she had spent a lot of time just reading or writing in her diary and most of her conversations had been one on one. Now she was having lunch with ten people again, who were seemingly all speaking at the same time, she had to reply to questions in class today and had to chat with Bonnie and Caroline in the car on their way home. She had to be part of the conversation at the dinner table and then spend some more quality time with her family. She loved to do it. She really had felt alone in her room at the hospital and was glad to be back amongst people now. She wasn't used to complete quietness. She had always liked to be around people and surrounded by noise and laughter. She never liked to be home alone and in the beginning, right after her parents' accident, the constant silence in the house had been one of the things to bother her the most. But tonight, when she went to bed, she was glad about the stillness and the dark. It gave her time to collect her thoughts and recharge her batteries. She took a long time in the bathroom, moving slower and spending a few minutes just staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, trying to see if she looked as different as she felt. She then changed slowly and sat on her window sill for a while, just looking out at the darkness outside, thinking about trigonometry and Dana's dream date to the dance, and about how sparkly the stars had been the night of the accident. When she finally dropped down on her mattress, she was ready to be taken away by sleep instantly.

Sleep, however, escaped her; and before she knew it, her thoughts had wandered to the injured man lying alone in the hospital. Their nightly talks had become a routine and while she had been too exhausted and overwhelmed the night before to think about it, tonight she realized that she missed them. She noticed that she wondered how he was doing, how he was spending his time, if he was watching the news all day and if he was thinking about her, too. She wasn't sure why, but suddenly the week lying ahead of her seemed extremely long.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Please make my day and review! xoxo<strong>_


	12. Chapter 12 TROUBLE

_A/N: Wow you guys! You are too sweet for always reviewing and being so supportive! Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy this little chapter. And please let me know what you think. Reviews help my creative process immensely :) Disclaimer: TVD belongs to whomever it belongs to (definitely not me) and I'm just having fun with it. Love you all! 3_

* * *

><p>12. TROUBLE<p>

"_What matters is not how well you can avoid trouble, but how you cope with trouble when it comes_."  
>― Paul Auster, "The Book of Illusions"<p>

Elena was woken up by a soft touch on her shoulder. She turned around, startled, and gasped when she was met by two bright blue eyes.

"Damon?" she whispered and then looked around to make sure she was in her bedroom.

"Yeah," he said just as quietly and looked at her intently. She sat up and just stared at him for a second, trying to wrap her head around the fact that he was sitting on the edge of her bed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I haven't seen you in two days…" he began and looked at her with such pain in his eyes that it tore at her insides. "I missed you," he said and leaned in closer. She could smell his aftershave and feel the heat radiating off his body.

"How did you get here?" she asked.

He gave her a sly smirk. "Magic!" he whispered and raised his eyebrows playfully. The look she gave him must have been full of disbelief because shortly afterwards he chuckled and lowered his eyes in defeat. "Fine, I took a cab," he admitted and threw her a boyish smile.

"How did you…" she started but he cut her off.

"Elena," he said in a low, sensual voice, "you need to stop questioning every little thing." She looked up at him with wide eyes as he slowly leaned in further. Suddenly she felt his warm hand on her cheek, his palm soft against her skin while the gauze that was wrapped around his broken finger scraped lightly against her ear. "No more questioning," he said before closing the distance between them.

She couldn't believe what was happening. He was kissing her. She felt his soft lips on hers, felt his hand in her neck pulling her closer. And then she felt his lips opening slightly. She was having a hard time keeping up with reality. This kiss felt too good to fight it. She couldn't believe she was letting him kiss her, but the only thing she was physically able to do was to part her own lips in response. Smoothly he captured her bottom lip between his. She felt her hands move behind his head and pull him towards her. She felt her fingers sink into his silky hair and run over the soft skin of his neck. She felt him intensify the kiss and couldn't help a slight moan escaping her throat. Encouraged by her actions, he leaned over more insistently and made her sink back into her mattress. When her head hit the pillow, she felt him slowly pull back. She opened her eyes quickly, afraid that his breaking their kiss meant that he had changed his mind and wanted to leave. But she was met with his intense stare. His beautiful blue eyes were drinking her in. She would have felt uncomfortable, had she not felt like she was the only person he would ever look at in that way.

"You can see," she said quietly and raised one of her hands to touch his cheekbone that had just two days ago been covered by bandages.

"Yes," he whispered back, his eyes never leaving hers. She lifted her hand slightly higher and let her thumb run over his eyebrow. He closed his eyes and reveled in the way her fingers travelled across his skin. When he opened them again, he fixed them back on hers and sat up straight. Not breaking eye contact, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt and finally shrugged it off. Elena couldn't help staring at him. She had seen him shirtless before, but never like this. Never with the moonlight reflecting off his pale skin and the darkness of the night making his muscles look even more dramatic. And never had she been in a situation where he was shirtless just for her and she could allow her aching fingers to touch him. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand again and let her fingertips trace his abs. He leaned over her to grant her better access and she let her hands travel up his torso and around his shoulders. His skin felt so soft. The bruises had all faded and he looked glorious in the almost black and white lighting. Elena could feel her heart rate quicken and her breathing turn flat. He let his body sink down on top of hers and held himself up on his elbows, propped up on either side of her head. She felt completely enveloped by him. All she could feel was his skin against hers and all she could see was his face, hovering above her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and pulled him back down towards her, reinitiating a kiss.

This one wasn't as careful. The first kiss had been cautious. They had tested each other's reaction. This one was anything but. She felt the spark of passion immediately. She felt his hand travel down her body and reach the sliver of naked skin between her tank top and her shorts. She felt his fingers burn against her suddenly oversensitive skin. She felt a heat spread from her abdomen through her entire body, felt it twirl in her stomach and tingle in her arms and legs. Another moan escaped her, this one more needy. She grabbed onto his shoulder with one hand and let the other travel down his muscular back, wanting to feel every tensing of every muscle as he shifted his weight further onto his left arm while slowly moving his right hand. He had been drawing small, probing circles on her belly but started to move his hand with more intent now.

Elena shifted her weight slightly and angled her left leg to let him settle more comfortably between her legs but instead she encouraged his hand to travel further south. She gasped quietly when she felt his fingers slowly tracing the hem of her shorts but wasn't capable of refusing him access now. She instead encouraged him by slightly rolling her hips and as she felt his hand pass over her hip bone, another wave of intense heat flooded through her body and made her emit a loud moan.

She jerked up suddenly, a vicious alarm blaring next to her, bright sunlight streaming in through the window. For a minute she felt completely disoriented, trying to figure out where she was and where Damon had gone while feeling an uncomfortable sensation settle between her legs.

"Motherf…" she mumbled, exasperated, as she dropped back onto her pillows.

It took her a while to get ready that morning and when she arrived in school, she was almost late for her first class. She sank into her chair and desperately tried to focus on her teacher and the lesson, but her mind treacherously wandered. While listening to explanations of algebraic formulas, her gaze slowly drifted out of the window and her perception shifted, until she no longer saw trees and cars in the parking lot, but was enveloped by darkness and met with piercing blue eyes that belonged to a naked Damon, cradled between her thighs. She felt an embarrassed heat rise to her cheeks and prayed to God that no one would look at her and see it.

This was all wrong. She was not supposed to have these kinds of dreams, these kinds of thoughts, these kinds of desires. She cared for him as a friend, not as someone more than a friend and she definitely didn't want to. Maybe it was a good thing that she would have an entire week before she saw him again. Maybe she shouldn't even go see him after her appointment. She felt bad about letting him spend his days all by himself, but it was obviously the best solution.

The period went by surprisingly fast as Elena was busy trying to fend off more memories from last night. When the bell rang, she had to admit that that was an impossible feat and also that she had no idea what her teacher had said in the past hour. Defeated, she grabbed her books and made her way to her next class, preparing for a day of uncomfortable flashbacks. By the time lunch came around, she was eager to see her friends. Surely some animated discussion would help distract her and animated it would be, if she knew Caroline at all. And sure enough, the bubbly blonde did not disappoint.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed as she plopped down next to Elena, followed immediately by Bonnie, who calmly scooted in next to them. "You guys are going to flip!"

"What's going on?" Elena asked, thankful for the diversion.

"I think I'm dating Matt Donovan!" she exclaimed, looking at both her friends with wide eyes, waiting for a reaction.

"What?" Bonnie asked, sounding shocked.

"You think?" Elena questioned. Leave it to Caroline to break news like this in the weirdest way possible.

"Well we haven't… like… talked about it," Caroline explained, opening up her smoothie.

"Then what _did_ you do?" Bonnie asked, regretting her question instantly as she saw her friend's eyes begin to sparkle at the opportunity of sharing details.

"Well, I was feeling alone Saturday night and we just sort of ended up hanging out and talking and then we just sort of ended up making out," Caroline recounted. "And then we didn't speak afterwards and I was getting pissed off, but then last night he texted me. Asking how my day was and what plans I had for the weekend. So that means he wants to go on a date, right?"

"With Elena's Matt?" Bonnie inquired, a little incredulous.

"Well, he's not Elena's Matt anymore," Caroline replied, throwing Elena a look asking for support.

"It's fine," Elena reassured her. "As long as you guys are happy." She tried to smile at her encouragingly. Truth be told, it was weird that Caroline was dating her ex. Also, the reasons why it hadn't worked out with her an Matt made her doubt that he and Caroline were a good match. But she didn't harbor any feelings for him anymore and he might actually be good for her friend. Their personalities might level each other out. Despite all their problems, Matt was an incredibly sweet guy. One of the good ones. And after what Caroline had been through with Damon, a supportive and wholesome relationship might be just what she needed. At that thought Elena frowned. She knew what Damon had put her friend through and yet, she couldn't shake the image of his naked torso and the fluttery feeling it gave her in the pit of her stomach. What was wrong with her? Where did this come from all of a sudden? Yet another good reason to not go and visit him after her appointment.

"Don't be so judgy," she heard Caroline chide Bonnie. "It's all your fault anyways."

"How is it my fault?" the accused replied indignantly.

"We were supposed to hang out Saturday but I called you all day and couldn't reach you. What the hell were you doing anyways?" Caroline interrogated.

It hit Elena immediately and a knowing smile curved her lips. "Oh I think I know," she said teasingly. Bonnie threw her a wary look that served only to confirm her suspicion. "You were with Jer, weren't you?"

Now it was Caroline's turn to look shocked. "What?"

"My brother had a mystery date on Saturday. I say it was with Bonnie," Elena explained. Bonnie only sighed with downcast eyes. That was all the confirmation the girls needed.

"Why would you go on a date with Elena's little brother?" Caroline almost screeched, earning her nasty looks from both of her friends.

"Thanks Caroline," Bonnie said in an annoyed tone. "I'm very glad you could help me make that public knowledge. Plus, we already went to the Founders' Ball together. Why are you so surprised?"

"Because I thought that was a pity date. Or like a last-resort date. Or a let-him-down-easy date. Or at the very least, if it was a real date, that you came to your senses afterwards," Caroline listed in a high-pitched but thankfully quieter voice.

"Hey, that's my brother you're talking about," Elena scolded.

"Exactly!" Caroline exclaimed. "He's your little brother. Plus, he's a total stoner, Bonnie. What are you thinking?"

"He's a really nice guy," Bonnie tried to defend herself weakly.

"My dad's a really nice guy. Do you wanna date _him_?" Caroline questioned with disbelief in her voice.

"Your dad's really not that nice," Elena mumbled. "No offence."

"You know, you should be on my side on this," Caroline reproached Elena.

"I actually think it's a good idea," she replied with conviction in her voice. "She makes him smile and he makes her more adventurous. You have my full support," she said in Bonnie's direction.

"Thanks." The girl beamed at her. "Plus, he's really hot."

"Ew!" Caroline cried out, while Elena only giggled.

"You haven't seen him without his shirt. He filled out over the summer," Bonnie went on, clearly enjoying teasing her friend.

"Please don't talk about my brother without a shirt," Elena whined, only half serious.

"You should see him when he comes out of the pool. The water running down his abs…" Bonnie continued while Caroline scowled at her. Suddenly Elena was thrown back to her own memory of water droplets rolling down a man's toned chest. Damon's, to be more specific, in the motel room. She hadn't thought about him at all for the entire lunch break and all of a sudden his broad shoulders were back in her mind, tantalizing her. She gulped uncomfortably, her playful mood suddenly gone.

"Stop it Bonnie, you've made Elena sick with your stories," Caroline reprimanded, having noticed the sudden look of discomfort on her friend's face.

"No, no," Elena quickly assured them. "It's not that."

"What's wrong?" Bonnie asked, now looking concerned.

"Nothing. I'm fine," Elena tried to smile and shake her uneasiness off. "Just had a weird dream last night."

"What, like a dirty dream?" Caroline jumped at the information, a gleeful smirk adorning her face.

"No!" Elena almost shouted. "Just… weird."

"What was it about?" Bonnie asked.

"I bet it was dirty. Those are the best," Caroline butted in before Elena could answer.

"Oh yeah? Who have you had dirty dreams about?" Elena prodded, glad to shift the topic away from herself.

"Lots of people," the blonde replied nonchalantly. "Tyler… that new kid, what's his face, with the nice hair… anyways, him… Mr. Saltzman," she wanted to continue.

"Mr. Saltzman?" Bonnie laughed "You never get to judge me and Jeremy ever again."

"It doesn't mean I'm attracted to him," Caroline replied indignantly.

"It doesn't?" Elena was surprised.

"No. It's just a dream," Caroline giggled dismissively. "It's your subconscious."

"But if it's a dream about sex with someone, doesn't that mean your subconscious wants to have sex with them?" Elena prodded.

"Not necessarily," Bonnie joined the conversation, looking serious. "Dreams are a way for your mind to sort your impressions and desires. But it's always metaphoric, not literal. So a sex dream can mean many things. Like when you dream about sex with a stranger, it might just mean that you want to make new experiences. Not necessarily that you actually want to sleep with some random guy."

"Finally your penchant for esoteric stuff is useful for something," Caroline grinned.

"That's not esoteric stuff, that's psychology," Bonnie replied, irritated with her friend.

"You know what I mean," Caroline said to appease her. "I bet my dream about Mr. Saltzman means that I'm going to get a good grade in history this semester."

"Or it means that you like old guys," Bonnie shrugged.

"Shut up. At least he's of legal age, unlike this guy someone I know is seeing," Caroline teased in return.

"But _we_'re not of legal age," Bonnie replied, rolling her eyes.

Elena zoned out. She might be okay with Bonnie dating her brother, and she did think it was good for the both of them, but that didn't mean that she wanted to hear the details. Instead, she tried to figure out what her dream might have meant. If it didn't mean that she wanted to sleep with Damon, what then?

At that moment the bell rang, announcing the end of their lunch break. They all sighed and started walking to their lockers to get their books for the next lesson.

"History," Bonnie announced in a sing-song voice, poking her elbow in Caroline's side who only giggled in return.

Elena spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what her dream could have meant. It wasn't actually about sex with Damon; she had convinced herself of that. Now she only needed to come up with a suitable alternative. Maybe she had just gotten used to seeing him. She had seen him every day for the past weeks. Maybe her subconscious simply tried to make up for the fact that suddenly he wasn't in her life anymore. As the day dragged on, Elena started feeling more and more restless and as the bell rang to release them into their afternoon freedom, she made an impulsive decision. She would go see him. And she would go now.

She said good bye to Bonnie and Caroline who were going to cheer practice but instead of getting on the bus home, she texted Jenna that she would quickly go to the library for an assignment and got on the bus that headed downtown. She wasn't sure of the exact route the bus would take, but Mystic Falls wasn't that big and since the hospital was right in the city center, it was sure to pass somewhere nearby. When they stopped in front of the library however, she knew she had gone too far and with muffled curses she got off the bus to stand in front of the irreverent brick building of gathered knowledge, reorienting herself. The hospital was just down the street and to the left, but it was a long street and she just knew that it would be straining to walk that far on her crutches. With a defeated sigh she started hobbling in the right direction, rapidly getting annoyed with how little progress she was making. After about fifteen minutes her leg was starting to feel heavy and the sun burning down on her was beginning to prickle her skin. This was the dumbest idea ever, she thought to herself as she persisted in her path. After another ten minutes she couldn't go on and sat down on a bench to gather her strength. As she was sitting there, staring at her leg and wondering what she had been thinking, a car came to a hold in front of her and the window was lowered slowly.

"Elena?" she heard the sheriff's voice. She looked up in shock. "What are you doing here?" the older woman continued.

"I was going to the hospital. I'm just taking a break," Elena explained.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" The police woman now sounded concerned.

"No no, I'm fine." Elena tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"Do you have an appointment?" the sheriff continued to question.

"No," Elena simply answered, looking down, getting increasingly uncomfortable.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride," Mrs. Forbes relented, leaning over with a smile and opening the door for her. Elena got up and maneuvered herself into the car with a relieved smile. "It's hot out there," the sheriff commented to which Elena only nodded. After a short pause the older woman spoke again. "So which one are you visiting?"

Elena looked down at her hands uncomfortably but knew there was no use trying to avoid the question. "Damon," she said with a forced smile. Sheriff Forbes only nodded. "I heard Stefan woke up," Elena stated after a brief bout of silence.

"Yes," the Sheriff replied and after a beat added: "He's been asking to see you." The woman turned her head to look at the girl sitting next to her, trying to gauge her reaction. Elena's eyes were wide with shock.

"He has?" she asked, not because she couldn't believe it, but because she didn't know how else to react.

"Yes," the Sheriff replied again. "We have told him you were still in recovery. I will come over to your house later this week and talk to you about it. Just know that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Elena smiled at her and nodded as the sheriff turned off the road and onto the hospital parking lot. "Thanks for the ride," she said while getting out of the car.

"No problem. But please take a taxi home," the sheriff advised and after Elena had reassured her with a promising nod, she waved and drove back towards the police station.

* * *

><p>The air conditioned temperatures inside the hospital soothed Elena's overheated skin as well as her nerves. Still, she wandered the hallways hesitantly. She had gone from not wanting to see him at all to deciding to see him right away and she wasn't sure that that was a good call on her part. Would he even want to see her? Did she even want to see him? Maybe avoiding him would have been the better choice after all. When she reached Damon's door, she saw that it was open and the nurse's wagon of lunch trays was parked outside. She knew he didn't like her being there while he ate, so she decided to wait outside until he was finished. She propped herself up against the wall when she heard the nurse giggle from inside his room.<p>

"Stop it Damon, it's not gonna happen," the female voice scolded playfully.

"Come on, Rose, you're breaking my heart!" he replied in mock hurt.

"The world is a cruel place," Rose returned with a laugh. Elena heard a chair shuffle and then the clinking of dishes that told her that the nurse was getting ready to leave.

"This is how it's gonna be, isn't it?" he questioned dramatically. "No girl is ever going to want to have sex with me again, now that I'm a cripple."

"I'm sure many girls will," Rose said in a warm voice. "Just not me."

"Who other than a compassionate nurse would do it with a cripple? You're this invalid's last hope, Rose." Elena could practically hear the smirk in his voice. She also couldn't help a stab of something in her chest. She would have classified it as jealousy, had she not previously decided that she wasn't interested in Damon. She knew he was a notorious flirt, it shouldn't surprise her. But still she couldn't get rid of the tightening in her ribcage. What was she doing here, standing in the hallway, listening to them flirting? She couldn't help but feel stupid.

"First of all thanks, that's very flattering. And secondly, you're not an invalid, Damon. You'll heal and in a few weeks you'll be as good as new." Rose tried to reassure him.

"Or a few months," he interjected.

"Or a few months," she conceded. "But the important thing is that you'll be fine."

"A few months is a long time, Rose."

"I know." She made a small pause before speaking again. "Maybe it'll be good for you."

"It'll certainly be good for all womankind," Elena quipped from the doorway before stepping into the room. She had decided to not feel like a stalker anymore and be proactive about the situation.

"Sneaky," she heard Damon say with a smile. "Who let you in?"

"The door was open. No sneakiness required at all," Elena retorted. She saw him lying in his bed the way he had been the last time she saw him. His eyes still covered in bandages, the IV still attached to his arm. It pained her to see him like this again, after having believed in the illusion of his recovery only hours ago.

"Well, now that you have company, I think I can leave you with a clear conscience," Rose threw in before absenting herself with a smile.

"And what brings you here?" Damon asked after the door closed. "I thought your doctor's appointment was next week."

"It is," she confirmed.

"Then what are you doing here?" he asked again.

"Visiting you," she replied curtly.

"Why?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"You need to stop questioning every little thing," she said, grinning at her private joke. He was completely quiet for a while, therefore Elena decided she should speak again. "You know," she started in a teasing tone, "they only let me come here because they think I'm your girlfriend. They will rescind all my visiting rights if you keep hitting on the nurses."

"Now that I'm awake, I can have anyone visit that I want," he assured her nonchalantly. "So you, little lady, can come over any time you want." A smirk spread across his face.

"You're winking at me right now, aren't you?" Elena said accusingly.

Damon couldn't help but chuckle. "In my head," he confirmed, to which she only scoffed. "You know me so well."

"You don't even like me and you flirt with me, crippled and all. They should conduct studies on you. I'm sure you're like an anthropological phenomenon or something."

He laughed lightly. "Give yourself more credit, Elena. You're not the worst company in the world," he said in that tone that told her that, had his eyes not been covered in bandages, he would be winking at her again.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," she replied haughtily but she was sure he heard the playful undertone.

"I'm sure it'll get you into my bed though," he smirked and started scooting to make room for her. "Come on. It's better for your leg, remember?" he coaxed her in a teasing voice.

She only hesitated for a second before moving towards his bed and climbing onto it, sitting in her usual position at the foot-end. "You know me so well," she replied in an equally teasing tone to which he replied only by chuckling lightly.

"You know," he started, "you shouldn't knock the goods before you've tried them."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"That snide little comment about my incapacitation being good for women. You can't judge that."

"Well, I've seen my friend try the goods, so I can judge a little," she replied, half teasingly and half accusingly.

Damon let out an annoyed sigh. "Is this about what happened with me and blondie? Look, I told you, that was mutual. You really need to let that go."

"Her name's Caroline. And I'm having a hard time letting it go. You can call me a prude, but a girl is not supposed to look like that after making love." How could she explain this to him? He confused her. He could be fun and playful and make her feel at ease but when she remembered what he had done in the past, she couldn't move past it.

"Look," he started with a deep sigh. "Sex with Caroline wasn't about making love, okay? It was about dominance. Your friend was the one who started dishing out so I… retaliated." He smirked again. "It was rough, but it wasn't abuse."

"That doesn't excuse what happened at the ball," Elena couldn't help but continue to reproach him.

He was quiet for a second before speaking again: "You know if you came to yell at me all day, you could have just called. I was having a good time before you and your guilt trip showed up."

"Well, actually I came to see how you were doing because I figured you might like the company. I couldn't know I would be interrupting something," she spat back, instantly regretting it. She sounded like a jealous girlfriend and she knew it. She wished she could take it back but since that was impossible she hoped he would be either ignorant enough or merciful enough to disregard it.

He surprised her by letting his hand touch her shin lightly as if to get her attention. She was wearing shorts because of the late summer heat and the contact of his skin against hers made her shiver imperceptibly. "Thanks for visiting," he said in a surprisingly serious tone. "It's very nice of you."

She saw it as the biggest peace offering she was probably ever going to get from him and swallowed down her anger. "You're welcome," she answered.

"I do hope you're friend's okay," he said, still sounding sincere.

"She's fine," Elena conceded. "She's seeing someone new."

Damon chuckled. "See. Girls like her don't stay sad and single for long."

"I guess not," Elena replied quietly.

"So… how's the outside world? Please share your tales of freedom."

"It's the same as before," she said, staying as general as possible while getting as personal as possible at the same time. "Stefan's awake," she continued after a short while.

"I heard," he confirmed. "Have you seen him?"

She shook her head before realizing that he couldn't see it. "No," she added to her movement. "The sheriff said he wants to see me."

"Do you want to see him?" he asked.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't think I can right now."

"Maybe it'll be good for you. Maybe he will give you the answers you are looking for."

His hand was still lying on her shin. The physical contact made her leg crawl with something that might have been anticipation. It was soothing and burning at the same time and she hated her body for reacting to his touch in this way. She heaved a heavy sigh. To him, it probably sounded like she was contemplating his advice but if she was being honest, it was something else entirely. The dream may not actually have been about having sex with him, but there was no denying that she was attracted to Damon Salvatore. She was in trouble.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Alright, there you have it :) What do __**you**__ think the dream was about? Have at it my little detectives, I'd love to hear your thoughts. xoxo  
><em>


	13. Chapter 13 AND THUS HE PLEADS

_A/N: So sorry for the long wait on this one. I was working on my other story. But then a super nice anonymous reviewer got me inspired for this again so there you go! (I hope you like it, lovely anonymous reviewer). It's a bit short, but I felt this chapter had to end here. I need to thank all of you for your amazing and lovely reviews, I feel so honored that anyone's actually reading and for you to take the time to review and share your thoughts with me, it's just beyond amazing! I'm so grateful to each and every one of you!_

_P.S.: Unfortunately, I still don't own TVD or the characters but who knows, the day is still young ;)_

* * *

><p>13. AND THUS HE PLEADS<p>

"_I was so lost, I thought I was going to fall to pieces."  
>"And now you trust me."<br>"You're not going to let me down. And I'm not going to let you down. We both know that."  
>"What else do we know?"<br>"Nothing. That's why we're sitting together in this car now. Because we're the same, and because we don't know a damn thing other than that."_  
>- Paul Auster, "The Book of Illusions"<p>

Elena and Jenna were sitting in their living room with Sheriff Forbes. Jeremy was out, again. He was out a lot at the moment, but since Elena assumed that he was with Bonnie, she didn't mind. She was more unnerved by the sheriff's visit. She had come over to talk about Stefan, but so far they had talked about everything except him.

"So," Jenna finally broached the subject they had all been avoiding, "you said you wanted to talk about Stefan?"

Elena could tell that the sheriff was uncomfortable, probably because of how she had reacted to her mentioning him in the car, two days ago. "Yes," the woman began, setting her cup down on the table. "He has been asking to talk to you."

"I don't think I can see him yet," Elena said in a small voice.

The sheriff nodded. "Of course. I understand. Only when you feel comfortable. I just thought you should know." Elena nodded her head and stayed quiet. "His therapist thinks it might be beneficial," the sheriff added after a while.

"He's in therapy?" Elena asked, surprised.

"Yes. He requested it," the woman elaborated.

"He requested it?" Elena was aware of the fact that she probably sounded a bit dense, but she couldn't quite wrap her head around it. So far, Stefan hadn't seemed like the reflective type that tried to find the fault in himself. The sheriff only nodded. Not knowing how to respond to this new information, Elena decided to go a different route. "How is he?" she inquired.

"He's doing okay," the sheriff replied. "Healing quickly. He will probably be released from the hospital in a week or two."

Elena huffed at the news. It wasn't fair that the man who had hit her with a car was healing quickly and would be fine within a matter of days, while the man who had saved her life was still blind and suffering from immense pain.

"And then what'll happen to him?" Jenna questioned.

"Well, he'll go to jail at least until the trial," the sheriff explained matter-of-factly.

"A trial?" Elena's eyes were wide.

"He hit you with a car, Elena. Intentionally," the sheriff explained.

Elena's chest tightened. "Has that been proven? I thought it looked different, since we were in his lane."

Mrs. Forbes looked at her daughter's friend with compassion, probably assuming Elena was trying to absolve her ex-boyfriend. Like she had done the last time. She couldn't understand that this time was completely different, that Elena herself was someone completely different. "He confessed to it."

Elena tried very hard to not let the shock she felt show on her face. He had confessed. She had known that he had tried to hit them on purpose, had seen the headlights head their way and change lanes. But to hear that he himself acknowledged his desire to see them dead twisted something in her gut. She tried to breathe calmly and control her voice.

"Is that why he's seeing a therapist? So he can plead insanity?" Elena queried, sounding surprisingly stronger than she would have thought.

"No," the sheriff shook her head. "He is pleading guilty of attempted voluntary manslaughter."

Elena couldn't say anything else, so Jenna decided to speak again. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"It means that in the heat of the moment he wanted to kill them, but it wasn't premeditated and he didn't succeed."

Elena felt both women's eyes watching her carefully and swallowed. "Excuse me," she said, needing some time to herself, and got up to limp out of the living room and up the stairs. To her relief, neither woman tried to follow her and a short while after she had left the living-room, she heard the front door close, indicating that the sheriff had left.

Then she heard Jenna carefully walking up the stairs and towards her room and then knocking on her door tentatively. "Elena? Do you want to talk about it?" she heard her aunt's voice. She was sitting on her bed, her laptop on her knees, researching everything she could find about the laws on attempted voluntary manslaughter in Virginia.

"No, I'm fine. I just need a little time, okay?" she said, never stopping to scroll through the google results.

"Okay. I'm going to start making dinner, alright?" Jenna's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, great. Thanks," Elena replied absentmindedly.

She eyed her cellphone uncertainly. She had to talk to Damon. But somehow visiting him seemed like the better choice than calling. She grabbed her phone and her wallet and carefully opened the door, listening for noises from downstairs. When she could make out the radio and her aunt singing along to it from time to time when she happened to know the words, Elena decided to risk it and slowly closed the door behind her before walking down the stairs as quietly as her cast allowed. She grabbed her crutches that were leaning next to the door and ever so gently opened the front door, trying to make as little noise as possible. She knew sneaking out wasn't really necessary. She could have simply talked to her aunt and would probably even have been able to convince her to drive her to the hospital, but she didn't feel like having this particular conversation right now, the 'I need to talk to Damon face to face and right away – because I need to' conversation. And so she snuck out instead, choosing to text her aunt later so she wouldn't be worried.

Outside it was already getting dark and she hoped that no one at the hospital would make a fuss about her visiting so late. A soft breeze was blowing and softly caressing her heated skin. With each step she took towards the bus stop, she felt something like a bubble rise in her stomach, making her giddy. Oh, those summer nights, she thought, the smells, the colors, the sounds, they just make me happy. And so she proceeded on her path towards the hospital, a happy feeling spreading through her as she went. This time she had figured out which bus to take and it didn't take long until she was wandering the sterile hallways. To her surprise, not a single person stopped or questioned her. Maybe they all figured a girl on crutches had every right to be at the hospital at night.

She knocked on Damon's door and now her happy excitement had started to mingle with a somewhat apprehensive dread due to the nature of her visit. "Yes?" she heard his voice from inside the room, sounding somewhat confused about the late disturbance.

She stepped into the room quickly. "It's me," she said, walking up to the bed. "Elena," she added, as her eyes fell upon the bandages still covering his eyes.

"I do recognize your voice by now," he said with a half smirk to which Elena didn't respond, since she didn't know how. "This is a surprise," he continued after the short bout of silence. "What brings you here?"

Elena's mood sobered instantly. "Can I sit down?" she asked and he must have heard the change in her voice because his smile dropped and he scooted over to one side of the bed to make room for her, mumbling a quick "Of course."

She only sat down half way, not stretching her legs out and leaning back comfortably like she usually did. She had her right leg curled under her and sat up straight, letting her left leg rest on the chair standing next to the bed. She looked down at her hands uneasily, not knowing how to start the conversation they were about to have. Suddenly she felt his hand on her knee. He had stretched his healthy right arm out towards her, probably trying to place her in this new position and the first thing he had reached had been her right knee. "What's going on?" he said, sounding half worried and half anxious.

"The sheriff came by today to talk about Stefan," Elena announced.

"Did you go see him?" Damon inquired.

Elena shook her head, adding a "No," after a second.

"What did the sheriff say?" Damon changed his line of questioning.

"He's pleading guilty, Damon."

"Guilty of what?" Elena could hear the apprehension in his voice.

"Attempted voluntary manslaughter." She sounded the crack in her own voice.

"Voluntary manslaughter?" His hand was still resting on her knee, but it didn't feel like he was looking for a connection anymore. His entire body had simply gone rigid and he wasn't able to move it away. "He's saying he wanted to kill us?"

"Yes," was all Elena could say in reply. She knew the boys didn't have a good relationship and that neither was above hurting the other. But to hear that your brother had wanted you dead had to be even more painful than what she was going through. She grasped his hand in hers, hoping it might help to console him, if only a little.

"So he's going to jail?" Damon finally said, after moments of complete silence.

"He could get up to ten years," Elena confirmed, clutching his hand tightly. She stared at him, trying to see what effect these news had on him, trying to anticipate his reaction. He had wanted his brother to go to jail, had set up an elaborate scheme to make sure he would, had even seemed disappointed when Stefan had been released. And at the time, Elena had been convinced that he was evil. But she couldn't see the same man when she looked at him now, not even knowing what he had done, could she believe that this man lying in front of her was capable of those things. Maybe the sheriff was right and she was one of those women who stood by the men who beat them down. But maybe, and she couldn't help believing that this was what was actually happening, their trip and everything that happened afterwards, had changed Damon as much as it had changed her. And maybe he wasn't that man anymore, the one who hated his brother, the one who had hurt her friend, the one who felt like he had to go up against the world on his own.

First she felt his breathing quicken and then suddenly everything happened really fast. He drew back his hand from her grasp and pushed himself up to a sitting position. With his right hand he felt around the bed as if looking for something that should be lying there. "Where is the fucking remote?" he finally bit out, getting frustrated.

Elena looked around, unable to see what he was talking about, and then raised her eyes back to his face. The small part that was not covered in bandages looked panicked and determined at the same time. He didn't seize to search for whatever it was he was looking for, even though Elena could tell that the frantic movements had to be painful.

"Damon, stop. What do you need?" she asked, getting anxious herself.

"The fucking remote, Elena," he said angrily. "I need to call the nurse."

"Why? What's going on?" She was starting to panic herself now. He was behaving erratically.

"What do you think?" he yelled in her direction. "I have to talk to Stefan. They have to take me to talk to Stefan."

Elena tried to reach out for him, to soothe him, but he wouldn't let her touch him for long enough. "Damon, stop. You're hurting yourself," she pleaded. "Just calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down," he sneered. "I have to talk to my brother."

"Nothing's happening right now. The trial won't be until you're ready to testify. They're not taking him to jail tonight, okay? He's still in recovery. Please, you're hurting yourself." She felt heat well up in her eyes. She saw the IV tugging at his arm with every hectic movement, knew his ribs couldn't have fully healed yet, that all his broken bones had to scream at him in agony. She scooted forward a few inches and grabbed his face between her hands, hoping to still him. "Please, just stop."

He grabbed her left hand with his healthy arm and stopped moving for a second. His face was right in front of hers, as if he was looking at her, but all she could see was gauze. It was eerie, staring at half a face, knowing that somewhere under the white dressing there were haunted blue eyes wanting to speak to her. "Don't you get it, Elena? I can't let this happen. I can't let my brother go to jail for this."

"Your brother tried to kill you," Elena said quietly.

"My brother is all I have left!" he responded with finality.

Elena swallowed. She had been right. But she couldn't stand the thought of him feeling so alone. "You have me," she said, looking at him imploringly, wishing he could see it in her eyes. "I will go talk to him, okay?" she offered, hoping she would be able to calm him this way. "I will go tomorrow. Just please."

She felt him relax, felt his tense muscles loosen under her hands. He let his forehead drop against hers for a second before he pulled away and dropped back against his pillow, his face contorted from the pain the movement caused him. He let his arm fall across his bandaged brow, as if to cover his eyes, and took a deep breath. For a while, they didn't say anything, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, it was Damon who was the first to speak.

"You don't have to talk to him if you're not ready," he said and Elena was relieved that he had obviously worked through his anxiety attack and thought things through rationally. He was even considering her feelings. Who would have thought this would happen, even two weeks ago?

"I want to," she replied. And it was the truth. She may feel apprehensive about seeing Stefan again, but the sheer panic she had felt roll off of Damon was enough to make her trepidations secondary at the moment.

They were quiet again, before Damon spoke next: "He needs to call our father. He needs a lawyer."

Elena was surprised. This was the first she ever heard either of the brothers mention their parents. When she had first met Stefan, he had said he was by himself, but that of course didn't have to mean anything. Just a day later, a brother had surfaced. Still, the fact that neither of them ever spoke about their parents was unsettling. Damon let his forearm drop from his brow and rest on the pillow above his head. His face was turned towards the window as if he were gazing at the stars outside. Elena didn't know what it was, but she felt a pull, a wish to lie down and rest her head on his shoulder. She had once before, when he had consoled her, and she remembered it as one of the most comforting moments since their accident, possibly even since the passing of her parents. The vacant space next to him beckoned her to stretch out her limbs and align them next to his body, it was like the white sheets had moved aside just so she could lie there. And before she had fully convinced herself that it wasn't a horrible idea, her body had already moved without her accord, had lifted her plastered leg up on the bed, had leaned over and lain down on the mattress, had let her head drop onto his bicep and had tugged her arms in the small space between her chest and his side. She stayed still, trying to sense his reaction, trying to figure out whether he was surprised, happy or annoyed, but she couldn't; he was immobile. So when she was certain that no reaction was forthcoming, she decided to take that as acceptance and ventured even a step further.

"I didn't know you had changed your mind about Stefan," she commented in a small voice.

"I didn't. I just realized something," he replied.

"What did you realize?" She felt his arm stir and something inside her strained at the realization that he was trying to move away from her. But then she felt his arm close around her shoulders and felt his hand draw tentatively through her hair and she closed her eyes in relief.

"The night we went to Chicago," he started, but didn't continue and instead proceeded to weave through strands of her hair pensively.

"You mean the night you almost hit me with your car and kidnapped me, after I passed out in the street?" she teased and to her relief she heard him chuckle lightly.

"Yes. That night," he confirmed with a smirk. "I was there because I wanted to talk to Stefan."

"About what?" she asked, relishing the soft, deliberate movements of his fingers in her hair.

"You came over to my apartment that day," he said, as if changing the subject. Elena remembered. She had spent the morning in the hospital with Caroline and had stopped by Damon's place to yell at him, before going to see Stefan. She nodded. And this time she knew she didn't need to use words because he could feel her head's movement against his chest. "You said that if things had gone differently, I could have lost them both." She nodded again, not daring to speak. "I never thought of it that way," he admitted. "I always thought that because he hadn't gone with her, she had been shot. I never thought that because he hadn't gone with her, he was still alive." Elena nodded again, unable to speak. This was the most open Damon had ever been with her and she was terrified that a single word would cause him to close up again. "I can't let him go to prison, Elena. He is the only one I have left."

"What about your parents?" Elena couldn't help but ask.

"My mom's dead. She died from cancer a few years ago," Damon explained.

"What about your dad?" she probed.

"He might as well be."

They were quiet again. Elena wanted to know more, wanted to ask, wanted to dig everything out of him, but she knew that now was not the right time. He had given in so far, but she could sense the walls that were still there and it was no use trying to break them down by force.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," she reassured him and for a while there was no response.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "I shouldn't ask this of you. I know he hurt you."

"He hurt you, too," Elena returned. "But we survived." She lifted her hand and carefully placed it upon his chest to reassure him.

Suddenly her cellphone chimed from somewhere and Elena shot up, realizing that a lot of time had to have passed since her text telling Jenna she'd be right back. She leaped off the bed – if you could call her struggling movements a leap – and answered her phone as quickly as possible.

"Jenna," she said, a little out of breath.

"Where the hell are you?" she heard her aunt on the other end of the line. "You texted me you'd be right back. That was an hour and a half ago!"

Elena guiltily bowed her head, even though her aunt couldn't see the supplicating gesture. "I'm coming home now. I'll be right there," she answered and after her aunt begrudgingly accepted this as a sufficient explanation, she switched off the phone and turned towards Damon.

"I have to go," she said, putting her phone away.

"Thanks for stopping by," he said with a soft smile, but distant again.

"I'll go talk to him tomorrow," she reassured him one last time, before leaving.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: Nervous now. Pleeeeeease let me know what you think :) Thanks all, xoxo_**


	14. Chapter 14 FORGIVENESS

_A/N: So here you go, the Stefan/Elena conversation. I wrote most of this in a somewhat hazy, sleep-deprived state, so please be gentle with me. I would love to hear what you think, though. Nothing gets my creative juices flowing like reading everyone's predictions and praise and criticism._

_Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or any of the characters and the direct quotes I'm using are from the eternal genius Paul Auster's book "The Book of Illusions"_

* * *

><p>FORGIVENESS<p>

_"We're all victims of something, Mr. Effing. If only of the fact that we're alive."_  
>– Paul Auster, "Moon Palace"<p>

"Guess what we're doing tonight," Caroline said cheerily while plonking down next to Bonnie and Elena who had already taken their seats at their usual lunch table by the cafeteria windows.

"Well, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm going on a picnic with Jeremy by the falls," Bonnie replied with a wide grin that made Elena feel instantly happy both for her friend and her brother. They both deserved to wear wide grins just like that one, permanently if possible.

"Wrong," Caroline returned dismissively. "We're going dress shopping at the mall!" She looked incredibly excited, while Bonnie only rolled her eyes.

"Why do you want to go dress shopping?" Elena asked, confused.

"For the dance, duh!" Caroline explained dismissively.

"But that's not for weeks," Elena protested.

"When have I ever needed only one trip to the mall to find a dress?" Caroline questioned as if that were a valid argument.

Elena shrugged in acceptance. It was true. As far as she could remember, they always needed at least three trips to the mall before Caroline could decide on a dress, no matter what the occasion or how much time they had.

"Well I'm sorry but I'm not going," Bonnie said with finality.

"Fine. Who wants to go shopping with boring, old, married people anyways," Caroline stated in annoyance before turning to Elena. "Just us fabulous girls then," she said with a once again elated smile.

"I can't go either. I'm going to see Stefan," Elena said, not sure she was happy about having to reveal her plans.

"You're going to see Stefan?" Bonnie asked surprised. "I thought you said you weren't ready."

Elena cringed. She didn't want to lie to her friends, but she didn't really want to give them all the details either, having a pretty good idea of how they would react. "I'm kind of doing it as a favor to Damon," she explained in an insecure voice.

Her friends just stared at her for a second, unable to react right away. "I'm gonna need more information than that," Bonnie finally said.

"I know it seems weird. But he's his brother and he can't go see him himself. And I think it might help me. Get some answers, you know?" Elena explained, hoping that this would satisfy the two girls staring at her incredulously. Bonnie nodded hesitantly, obviously unsure whether her friend was making the right choice, but wanting to support her regardless. Caroline was a different story.

"Wait wait wait," she called out. "So what you're telling us is that you're going to see the guy who tried to kill you, as a favor to the guy who almost raped me!"

"He didn't almost rape you," Elena argued tiredly, regretting the comment right away. It didn't really matter how far he had wanted to go, did it? Her friend had been treated horribly and hurt regardless. "I'm sorry," Elena tried to smooth over. "I didn't mean…"

"Are you kidding me right now, Elena?" her friend shrieked and jumped out of her seat.

Elena looked pleadingly up at her friend. "I'm sorry, Car. You know that's not…"

"Shut it," the blonde returned harshly before turning on her heel and stomping off.

Elena dropped her eyes in defeat before looking up at Bonnie uncertainly. Her friend returned her look with a mixture of confusion and concern. "I didn't mean it like that," Elena said sadly.

"I know," Bonnie allowed. "But you still said it." Elena only nodded, staring at her plate. "Elena?" she looked back up into her friend's worried eyes. "Are you falling for him?"

Elena heaved a heavy sigh. "It's not like that," she tried, not sure how to explain her situation so it would make sense to her friend. "That's not what it's about, I mean." Bonnie looked at her with confusion but also with honest interest in her eyes. "It's just that he was there. When it happened. Right now I'm the girl that was almost killed by her boyfriend." Bonnie lowered her eyes uncomfortably. "But to him, I'm the girl who was there when he was almost killed by his brother. And I… at least I have you. And Caroline. And Jenna and Jeremy. But he has no one. That brother that tried to kill him, he's also the one person that he cares about most."

"He tried to get him thrown into jail," Bonnie interjected in an incredulous tone.

Elena sighed quickly. "I know…" She didn't know what else to say. "They both have issues," she tried.

"You can say that again," Bonnie agreed emphatically.

"But it's not them. Well it's not Damon at least. Not really. He's impulsive and passionate. He doesn't deal with problems well."

"Elena, are you sure you're not just making excuses?" Bonnie asked apprehensively.

"Sounds like it, doesn't it?" Elena asked, to which Bonnie only nodded. "But no, I've seen a different side to him. It's there. He just doesn't let it show very often. But when he does, he's amazing."

"You're totally falling for him," Bonnie teased, making Elena smile, thankful that her friend was trying to lift the mood.

"Such restrictive terms," Elena chided playfully. "I'm growing fond of him, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less."

"You're full of shit is what you are," Bonnie continued with a grin.

"Oh please, you're the one corrupting my baby brother," Elena pulled out her last defenses.

"Touché," Bonnie conceded. "And because you've been such a stellar friend about it, I won't hassle you about Damon."

"Thank you," Elena said, relieved.

"But be careful, that's all I'm saying. If you don't feel ready to see Stefan you don't have to, just because a heartthrob with a broken leg wants you to." Bonnie sounded serious again, but warm and Elena was glad she had a friend like her.

"Don't worry," she reassured her friend. "This is not about pleasing Damon, it's about doing what I think is the right thing to do."

Bonnie smiled at her and nodded. "Then you should totally do it. I'll even give you a ride."

"You're just offering that so you can feel less guilty about going to see Jer afterwards," Elena teased. "But I'll take it anyways. Thanks."

* * *

><p>She was in a hospital hallway again, but this one she didn't know. A nurse had shown her the way and now she was approaching the room number she was looking for. A man in uniform was sitting outside the door, reading a newspaper and looking up at her expectantly.<p>

"Uhm, I'm Elena Gilbert," she explained, making it sound more like a question than a statement. "I'm here to see Stefan Salvatore. Sheriff Forbes said it was okay."

The man looked at a notepad lying next to his chair and apparently found information regarding her on it, because next he nodded at her and got up to open the door. Suddenly it all went so quickly. Elena had walked down the hallway, wanting to get to the dreaded room, but once there, she felt the need to collect her thoughts, to conjure up some courage, to just take a deep breath. But no such luck. The minute the officer had been satisfied with the information she had provided, his hand was already on the doorknob, turning it and pushing the door open.

"Salvatore, Miss Gilbert here to see you," he barked into the room and then looked at her expectantly, obviously wanting her to go into the room quickly so he could get back to his paper. Hesitantly, she stepped into the room and heard the door close behind her instantly. And then she was standing before him. He was in bed, sitting upright against a pillow, holding a book in his right hand and being cuffed to the bed with his left. She could see a few scratches in his face, probably from broken glass cutting him during the accident, other than that he looked healthy. And happy. A wide smile appeared on his face as soon as he saw her.

"Elena! I wasn't sure you'd come." He closed the book without bothering to mark the page and put it on the nightstand next to his bed.

"I wasn't either," she replied, hesitantly, staying where she was, not wanting to get closer to him.

"Come, sit," he pointed to a chair next to his bed and reluctantly she followed his invitation. "I can't believe you came, Elena. I'm so glad! And so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," Elena replied in a small voice.

"No, don't say that. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I've forgiven you. I'm just praying you can forgive me, too."

Elena swallowed. He had forgiven her? For what? For letting him lie to her? For letting him use her as a replacement? For almost dying? She suppressed her anger. "I'm not apologizing because I feel guilty," she clarified. "I just feel sorry that everything turned into such a mess."

"I know," he agreed. "I'm the one who should feel guilty. And I do. I feel horrible! I was so worried about you. And so glad when they told me you were okay. How are you?"

"I'm okay," she replied. "I broke my leg, so I have to walk on crutches. But other than that I'm fine. Damon turned the car so that he was the one who was directly hit. He's doing much worse than me."

"I'm so glad to hear that," he sighed in relief. "I couldn't have lived with myself if you had been badly hurt. Or worse," he continued.

She knew he probably hadn't processed the information she had given him regarding Damon properly, but his reaction didn't sit well with her regardless. "You hurt Damon badly," she reverted to the point she had already wanted to make before but which had been not so subtly ignored by him.

He looked down at his hands. "How is he?" he asked curtly.

"Not well," she replied, glad that he showed an interest. "He broke and arm and a leg, a few ribs too. He can't see right now. They hope he will regain his eyesight but they can't be certain." She looked at him attentively, wondering what his reaction would be. She hadn't really expected anything in particular, but what she got hadn't even crossed her mind.

"Elena," he began slowly, looking down at his hands and then gradually lifting his eyes to meet hers. "I'm really sorry for what I did to you. I am. I'm seeing a therapist, because I know something has to be wrong with me if I'm able to do something that could hurt you. I'm pleading guilty, because I feel guilty! Seeing you in pain hurts me more than any of my injuries ever could. And I've forgiven you, for going away with him, because I understand. It was my own fault. I should have been upfront with you from the very beginning, but I was so afraid you would misinterpret and that I might lose you. I didn't think he would stoop so low as to use Katherine to get to you. And I know you bonded with him. I know he can be persuasive and charming and I bet he laid it all on you. And I'm not blaming you 'cause God knows you haven't been the first girl who was blinded by his act. But Elena, you can't let him continue to poison you with his lies. You have to see what he did. He tried to take you away from me! As he has taken everything from me. He deserves this."

Elena blinked, unable to process what was happening. She was shocked by what Stefan said, but also by his harsh tone and his cold eyes. She had always thought he had gentle, soulful eyes, but right now two fiery pits of ice were staring at her and while she would have understood pain, would have been able to accept anger, what she thought she saw was hate and it took her breath away. She stared at him with wide eyes.

"You don't mean that," she whispered, unable to get her voice under control.

"Stop being so naïve," he almost yelled. "Why is it always the same with you women? He smiles at you and you'll believe anything he tells you. He's not a good person, Elena. He's selfish and cruel and malicious."

"He's trying to save you," she protested in anger, standing up abruptly. "He asked me to come here so that I could tell you not to plead guilty. He's the one who doesn't want you to go to jail."

"You're here because of him?" Stefan asked sounding hurt and almost disgusted at the same time.

Elena sighed, defeated. This was not how she had seen this go. She couldn't listen to Stefan badmouthing Damon anymore, but she felt like arguing with him was only making the situation worse. "He wants you to call your father to get a lawyer," she said, all the fight gone from her. Now, she only wanted to leave.

"I don't have a father anymore, thanks to him," Stefan spat back, leaving Elena speechless once more. He must have interpreted the startled look on her face correctly. "Didn't tell you that, your prince charming, did he? I'm sure he can figure out a way to make it sound sweet, the way he took my parents from me and then Katherine, too."

Elena didn't know what to say. "I…" she struggled to produce words at all. "I thought you were all happy together."

"Is that what he told you?" Stefan snorted.

"It's what Charlotte told me," Elena replied, almost mechanically. That seemed to sober Stefan up. His forehead smoothed out, his eyes lost the deadly stare, his jaw relaxed slightly.

"Charlotte didn't see everything," he explained noncommittally. Then he turned his eyes up to her, filled with sadness now. "What happened to us, Elena? We were so good."

"You lied to me," she said quietly, having a whole list of other things that had gone wrong but not knowing where to start.

"I was going to tell you," Stefan said, calm now. "When the time was right. But Damon messed everything up."

"I found the picture when I paid for the pizza," Elena explained. "Damon being there was a coincidence. He actually came to talk to you."

"He changed you," Stefan argued, seemingly not paying attention to what she was saying.

Elena shook her head. "Finding out my mom was not my mom and that I had a sister changed me. And being lied to and almost killed by my boyfriend changed me." He bowed his head in shame. "Being looked at strangely by my friends has changed me. Maybe Damon has changed me, too. But if he has, it was for the better. He is actually one of the few good things in my life right now, while you seem to be all the bad." She knew that she sounded harsh, but she had to make him understand what he had done to her.

"Don't say that," he said, blinking back tears. "I love you."

"I don't think you even know me very well," she returned, shaking her head slightly.

"I know everything I need to know. I know you're hurting because you lost someone but you never give up and I know you fight for the people you care about, whether they deserve it or not, and I know you have the most beautiful smile. Please, give me a chance so I can get to know everything else. I want to know you entirely. Please let me."

"I can't, Stefan. It can never be like it was before," she said almost pleadingly, needing him to understand that they had no future together.

"Because of him?" he asked harshly. "Are you so stupid to want to be with him instead?"

"I'm not with him, Stefan," she felt like screaming. "This has nothing to do with him. Me not wanting to be with you is entirely separate from my even knowing him."

"You're lying to yourself, Elena. You wouldn't throw away what we have if you didn't think he could make you happy."

"We don't have anything," she shouted in exasperation. "All we had were lies and illusions and deceit. You don't know the first thing about me and I sure as hell have no idea who you are!"

"You said you loved me," he said accusingly.

"I may have thought I did. But I was wrong." She had no mercy left for him. "You are the one who is lying to himself, Stefan. You still want Katherine. You don't want me."

"And you think Damon wants you?" he asked accusingly. "He's the one who's so obsessed with her he's still punishing me for her accident a year later."

"I know he doesn't want me," she replied calmly. "But you're wrong. He does want you in his life. He understands now. He wants to talk to you about everything…"

"Stop it, Elena." He sounded furious again. "I don't want to hear it anymore. Just… go."

"He's your brother, Stefan," Elena tried to make one last attempt.

"I've clung to that for too long, Elena. It doesn't mean anything anymore." He sounded sad at the thought but no less certain of it.

"Well, then I'm sorry for both of you," Elena said, already turning towards the door. "Cause there you have someone who actually knows you and loves you – probably the only one in the world right now – and you push him away."

"He doesn't know what love is, Elena. He has all these noble ideas and grand thoughts but it's only because he doesn't really understand. He has never experienced that, to just know that you are meant to be with someone. To know that you belong. To your parents, to your friends, to your girlfriend. He has this magnificent vision of what love is like. But it couldn't be further from the truth. He may think he loved Katherine, but he didn't love her like I did. And he may say he loves me, but he just wouldn't know what to do without me."

"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard," Elena breathed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"It's the truth. It may not be his fault that he is the way he is, but I won't condone it anymore. I'm done with him."

"I should go," she said quietly. "And you should call your father." Without another word, she turned around and left the room as quickly as the crutches would allow her. To her relief he didn't try to say anything else or stop her. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, she let a sob escape. She was only glad she had been able to keep it in until she was out of the room.

"Are you okay, Miss?" the officer asked, looking up at her with concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine, thanks," she reassured him in a shaky voice.

"He will be well again in no time," he tried to comfort her. Elena felt like laughing, crying and throwing up all at the same time so before she would break down and do either, she simply nodded and laboriously made her way down the corridor. When she reached a hallway bathroom she silently thanked God and almost fell through the door. She locked herself in one of the stalls and, unable to bend her leg enough to sit down, she slumped against a corner and let the tears finally fall. Hot streams were running down her cheeks and her breaths came out in gasps and whimpers. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, unable to control her own body, but it felt like forever. When she was finally able to retain her tears and breathe steadily, she let herself out of the enclosure and splashed herself with cold water from the sink. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and shook her head. What a pitiable sight she was, all puffy eyed and red-faced with speckles on her cheeks. At least the person she was about to see wouldn't be able to tell.

* * *

><p>The door made a slight swooshing sound as it was pushed open. It was an odd hour for a visitor, lunch had already been served and it wasn't time for dinner yet. When he heard the rubber hit the floor however, he knew immediately who it was.<p>

"Elena?" she heard Damon's voice, before she had even said a word.

"Hi," she said meekly. He heard the difference to her usually energetic voice right away.

"What's wrong?" he asked, getting even more nervous when she didn't give him an answer but simply shuffled slowly towards the bed. "Did you go see Stefan?" He could tell that she was standing a few feet from his bed now. Not being able to see her, not being able to make out where she was exactly, how she looked, not being able to see in her face how she felt, was driving him mad.

"Yes," she said, sounding tired and sad.

"How did it go?" he asked, already pretty sure what her answer would be.

"Not well," she replied, not really to his surprise.

"What happened?" she could hear the concern lacing his voice. And when she didn't answer right away, he pushed himself up carefully and scooted over to make room for her.

To his relief, she accepted the unspoken invitation without hesitation. But instead of sitting down at the foot-end of his bed, like she usually did, she climbed in next to him and soon he felt the warmth of her body push up against his, the cast around her left leg lightly pressing against his right leg, her hair tickling his arm until her cheek came to rest on his shoulder, one arm tucked in between their bodies, the other however, suddenly slung around his torso, pulling ever so slightly, as if to hold him fast against her. "Can you just hold me for a second?" she asked. And she sounded so frail.

"Sure," he murmured while closing his arm around her and letting his fingertips rest on her upper arm. His other arm was not as mobile, but he lifted it slightly so that he could rub his thumb across her wrist in what he hoped was a comforting manner. They just lay there for a few minutes and he did want to give her all the time she needed, but having heard the pain in her voice had made it difficult for him to accept not knowing what was bothering her. He couldn't begin to imagine what Stefan had sad to her to put her in such a state, unless she still loved him and being confronted again with the horrible situation they were in had opened up old wounds.

"What happened?" he asked again, his voice soft, so soft, almost as soft as his fingertips that were caressing her skin.

"He's not well," she said, feeling the tears choking her again. "I don't think it's such a good idea to encourage him to change his plea." She felt Damon stiffen next to her. "He needs help, Damon."

"What did he say?" he asked and she heard the apprehension in his voice.

"A lot of things. It doesn't matter." Elena didn't think she was able to repeat any part of her conversation with Stefan just yet. She knew Damon didn't feel he could just leave it at that. She could feel it in the uneasiness that was suddenly rolling off of him in waves. But for some reason he didn't ask. Maybe he was able to tell that she couldn't have this particular discussion right now. "What happened with your parents?" she finally asked. She was aware of the fact, that she had to sound half insane herself, but her brain was only capable of so much and ever since Stefan's remark about Damon taking his parents away from him, this question had blocked many other thoughts and therefore she felt she had to get it out.

"My parents?" He sounded every bit as surprised as she had predicted he would. She only nodded against his shoulder. She knew this probably wasn't a topic he wanted to discuss, but she was too tired to not try. When he sighed, she knew he would give her an answer. "That is not a fun story." She could already make out the hurt and the defeat in his voice. She let her thumb stroke his chest carefully, where her hand was resting on his white shirt. It was a small gesture, but she hoped he would think it was encouraging.

"My mom is dead," he began. "She had cancer. Died a few years ago, just before I met Katherine." He took a deep breath. Elena could tell it was hard for him. "She was sick almost my entire teenage years. She'd be in remission and then it would come back. I didn't deal well with it. I loved her and she was the one person who I thought loved me. I couldn't see her suffer like that. So I would not come home, sometimes for weeks on end. Stefan was the one who took care of her while our father was at work. It was selfish of me and stupid. After she passed away I thought of all the time I could have spent with her that I didn't. I drank a lot, I met a lot of girls. I had just graduated from high school and I didn't know what to do with my life. My father gave me an ultimatum. He said either I go to college or he kicks me out. My father and I never got along so I wasn't surprised but his demand only made me not want to go to college all the more. I had been accepted into a few colleges but I declined them all, just to spite him. So he threw me out. I went and stayed with friends and then other friends. I finally decided to go to college after all, about six months later. But it was too late. I had disappointed my father one too many times. I haven't spoken to him in years. Now Stefan, he was the good son. He got the good grades, he dated the good girls, he took care of mom. His only fault was that he looked up to me. Even after our father had cut me out of his life and had forbidden Stefan to see me, he would call and we would hang out. To him, it was exciting, living on the edge with his delinquent brother. To me, he was the only family I had left. And then we met Katherine and we just got all mixed up in that… whatever that was. So when our father gave him the choice to either never see me again or move out, he moved out. He felt so liberated in the beginning, being away from that suffocating house and our father. But I think in the long run he regretted it. He gave up more than he thought he would and I guess he didn't get as much as he expected to get."

Elena tried to curl up even more into his embrace, tried to push her nose further into his shoulder. How had this happened? When had he decided he could open up to her like that? It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had. "I'm so sorry about your mom," she said quietly.

"Thanks," he said absentmindedly, lifting his hand off her shoulder and running it through her hair until he suddenly snapped his head down as if trying to look at her. "Your turn now," he requested. "What did Stefan say?"

"What didn't he say?" she said bitterly and moved so that her chin was now resting on his chest, balanced on her hand. If he were looking down at her and his eyes weren't covered in bandages, she would be looking directly into them now, she thought. "He blames you," she finally stated in a quiet voice. He didn't answer but she felt his muscles tense under her fingers. "For what happened with your father and for Katherine. He says you took her away from him. He says you wanted to take me away from him as well." She knew this had to be hard for him to hear, but he had asked and he deserved the truth.

"Hm," he huffed, not saying anything else. But even though Elena could only see half his face, she saw the wheels turning inside.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, wanting desperately to be let in again.

"I'm thinking… I didn't know," he said, sounding almost helpless. "I knew he wasn't always happy with our situation. I didn't know he was so unhappy. I didn't know he blamed me." They were silent for a while. "Ironic, isn't it? I thought that I was the one who would have to forgive him. For several things even. And I thought if I did, if I were able to do that, that we could figure it out, get back to where we were before. And now I'm the one who is hoping that he'll forgive me. And I'm not even sure for what."

"It's not fair," Elena stated, more to herself than to him.

"I'm not asking for fair," he replied. "Nothing is ever fair. I'm just asking to be left with something, I guess… To have anything, at the end of it."

Elena swallowed. She had never seen him so vulnerable. She wanted to tell him that he had her, but she didn't think he would find the thought as comforting as she did. "Well, we still have our quests," she said, trying to use a cheerier voice.

"Our quests?" he asked and she could see one side of his mouth quirk up slightly.

"Yeah. You have your quest to get healthy. And I have my quest to disentangle all these illusions."

"That's more like short-term goals, but okay. So you're still reading that book, huh?" His voice was steadier now, his tone almost teasing.

"I am. And I'm still not understanding half of it."

"Alright well, how about I help you with your quest and you help me with mine?" he suggested.

"Sounds good," she smiled. "I will be the best nurse and motivational speaker ever. Just wait and see. We'll have you out of this hospital before I have understood that book."

"Oh jolly good news! 'Cause there's just a whole world out there waiting to be conquered." She heard the sarcasm in his voice but she didn't let it faze her.

"What's with the negativity? You can go back to college, find a nice girl, have the picket fence, the two and a half children and the golden retriever. Or become a starving rock star and die of an overdose in some gutter somewhere. In either case, you're living the dream." She grinned now.

"The rock star thing then," he said with a smirk.

"What, no picket fence and golden retriever for you?" she teased.

"I don't think so." And suddenly his mood was somber again. She could have smacked herself. She had no idea what had happened.

"I'm sorry," she stated. "I didn't mean to…" She didn't finish the sentence as she didn't know what exactly it was she had done. Maybe he had wanted marriage and children with Katherine and it still hurt too much to think about it with anyone else.

"It's fine, don't worry," he said dismissively, willing her to change the subject again. When she didn't but silently demanded an explanation, he sighed. "It's just not something I've thought about, really," he tried and failed miserably to explain.

"You haven't thought about kids? I mean, not now, but in general?" Elena questioned. She knew guys were different, but didn't society's pressure alone make you at least confront the issue at some point?

"I mean, being in the relationship I was in with Katherine, that just wasn't an arrangement that would likely lead to marriage and kids. So I kind of accepted that I would never have that."

"You didn't think about one day marrying her? About having children?" Elena was shocked. Once more.

"No. How would that work? What, move to Utah and become Mormons so she could marry Stefan, too?" he quipped, trying to make light of the heavy conversation.

"Didn't you think she might at some point choose?" Elena couldn't understand that he would accept this weird three-way as something permanent, that either of the involved parties would. If her talk with Stefan was any indication, he at least hadn't come to terms with it being a lasting arrangement.

Damon chuckled lightly. "No. No, she made it very clear that she wouldn't and that we shouldn't ask her to."

Elena shuddered at the thought. "And that didn't strike you as unfair and selfish?" She knew she should have learned her lesson about speaking ill of Katherine, but hearing what Damon was telling her, she couldn't keep her opinions to herself.

"Of course it was unfair and selfish. But we could have left if we wanted to and neither of us did." There it was again, Katherine's ability to captivate these brothers so much that they would do anything before giving her up.

"What about now?" Elena asked.

"What do you mean?" he returned the question.

"Well, I'm sorry but, who knows if Katherine will ever wake up. What about your future now? You could have all that stuff if you wanted to."

"I don't know," he said pensively. "I haven't really thought about it." They were quiet for a while. She wanted to push more, but didn't know what exactly she was hoping to achieve by it, therefore she didn't. "Well, I already feel mighty motivated now," he finally jibbed. "How about I help you now. Where's that book of yours?"

Thankful for his seemingly good mood, Elena got up and grabbed her book from her bag. Then she nestled back into the spot she had occupied before, her head resting on his bicep, and started to read.

"_Unpredictable in his behavior, full of contradictory impulses and desires, Hector's character is too complexly delineated for us to feel altogether comfortable in his presence. He is not a type or familiar stock figure, and for every one of his actions that makes sense to us there is another one that confounds us and throws us off balance._" She stopped reading then, before breathing out a "Huh."

"What? Already confused?" Damon teased, nudging his shoulder lightly so that her head bobbed.

"Not confused. But doesn't that strike you as familiar?" she questioned in a teasing tone herself.

"Familiar how?" The teasing was now gone, he seemed genuinely confused.

"Really? That description does not remind you of anyone we might know?" she quipped.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, slowly catching her drift.

"Nothing. Just, you certainly do confound me more often than not," she explained with a smile.

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment. I'd rather be complex and unpredictable than a dull stock figure."

"This does not surprise me at all, actually. Not as unpredictable as you thought, I guess." She was about to lift the book back up when she heard his low voice right next to her ear.

"Oh yeah?" he asked and suddenly his hands were at her side, tickling her. She jerked and the sudden movement made a dull ache shoot through her broken leg. Her elbow and leg pushed into his side and he groaned as pain shot through his ribs and broken arm that he had inadvisably moved quickly to first tickle her and then move again to get it away from her flailing limbs. They both stilled for a second as they bit through the pain but then Elena felt a giggle bubble up inside her. When she let it out, it suddenly grew into a full-fledged laugh.

"That was the dumbest thing you have ever done," she snorted in between bouts of laughter.

"God, I think I'll have to agree with you," he groaned, which only made Elena laugh even more. She laughed until her sides started to ache. And then, suddenly, she stilled completely.

"Elena?" Damon asked, suddenly sobered by her quietness.

"Yeah," she said in an uncertain voice.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" concern laced his voice.

"No, no, I just… I haven't laughed like that… I think I haven't laughed like that since my parents passed away." She looked down to her hands guiltily. She hadn't laughed like that in forever, carefree. And now of all times, when they were both still in pain, both physical and emotional.

"You should do it all the time," he said, lifting his right hand and stroking her hair. "You have a great laugh." And just like that, her guilt was gone.

* * *

><p>Elena was tired, but she had one last stop to make before she could go home and have dinner with Jenna. She stood in front of the white door with the white curtains, gathering her courage. When she finally rang the bell, the door was opened almost immediately.<p>

"Oh, it's you," the blonde said dismissively.

"Hi Car," Elena greeted.

"How can I help you?" her friend replied snippily.

"I came to apologize, Car. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say what I said the way I said it and… I'm really sorry." She looked at her friend pleadingly. "You're my best friend, Caroline, I can't go through life without you. Please forgive me."

"And you think you can just apologize and everything will be fine?" the girl questioned in return.

"Of course not," Elena said, shaking her head. "That's why this apology comes with a side of red velvet cake." And with that she produced the carton she had picked up at the bakery on her way over.

The blonde smirked and opened the door a little wider. "Fine, you may be forgiven," she said and then jumped once happily before flinging herself into Elena's arms. "I already talked to Bonnie. I get it, I do. I can never stay mad at you anyways."

"You just made me sweat because you wanted the cake, didn't you?" Elena said in a playfully accusatory tone.

"Guilty as charged," Caroline replied with a broad smile before running ahead into the kitchen to get some plates for them.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: So I'm real nervous about this one. Please be angels and let me know what you think. Even if you didn't like something, I'd love to hear it. It's the only way to improve. Thank you! xoxo_**


	15. Chapter 15 NEWS AND NOVELTIES

Hi there! It is me! Remember this crazy chicken? I'm so sorry guys, for not having updated in SO LONG! Sorry, Ana :( I was focussing on my other story "Saving You" and also I wrote a one-shot. It's my version of what I want to happen in Season 4 and it's my first attempt at smut and I'm actually very proud of it, so if you want to see how I imagine Damon and Elena having sex for the first time, that's your one and only chance to do so. lol. Also, I REALLY struggled with this chapter. I mean... It was a nasty fight. lol. Anyways, at least I'm coming back with a long one. Longest chapter I've ever written. So I hope that makes up for some of the long wait. Again, I'm so sorry and to anyone who's actually still with me and reading this and to all you wonderful people who are leaving me reviews, I'm eternally grateful! Thanks for sticking around and for your support! It really means the world to me.

Alright, enough talking. Here we go... (One last thing: I don't own the Vampire Diaries, just fyi)

* * *

><p>15. NEWS AND NOVELTIES<p>

"_There was nothing to see, nothing to distract me from succumbing to my fears, and the longer I kept my eyes shut, the more terribly I saw what my fears wanted me to see."  
><em>― Paul Auster, "The Book of Illusions"

Elena pushed through the big glass doors opening into the gym-like room. Big windows let the sun stream in and bathe everything in bright light, reflecting off the white walls and the light green plastic furniture. Mats and gym balls were strewn across the floor, a barre lined one of the walls, other equipment that Elena couldn't name stood around haphazardly. She took a few steps inside the room, looking around, but she couldn't see or hear anyone else, the squeaking of her crutches on the omnipresent linoleum floor the only sound in the room.

"Hello?" she called, looking at her phone to see if she was early.

Suddenly, a door to the side opened and a young man's head peeked into the room. "Miss Gilbert?" he asked, his words muffled from chewing on something.

"Yes?" she returned, still not sure if maybe she had mixed up the times. The head disappeared again behind the door only to emerge anew a minute later, this time followed by a whole body, clad entirely in white. The man smiled at her warmly while wiping his hands off on his pants before extending one to shake hers.

"I'm sorry," he started. "I'm running late. So nice to meet you though. Sam Fell. I'll be your physical therapist."

Elena shook his hand and gave him a friendly smile. "Elena Gilbert," she replied. She liked this man already. He had a firm handshake and an open smile, making her feel at ease, exactly what was needed in a sterile environment like the hospital. "Any relation to Dr. Fell?" she asked, thinking fondly of her attending.

"She's my cousin," he said with a nod, beaming at her happily.

"She's my doctor," Elena explained. "She's wonderful."

"Well, I hope I don't tarnish her good name then," he returned with an almost bashful smile that made Elena laugh lightly. "So you're cleared for rehab?" he started into more professional territory.

"Yes. They finally took off the permanent cast. I feel like I can fly," she explained with a smile, carefully lifting her left leg, now encased in a removable brace.

"How does your leg feel? Any pain?" he asked, guiding her over to a chair.

"It's okay," she answered with a shrug. "I don't really dare to put pressure on it yet, but as long as I don't make any rash movements or lie on it, it's fine."

"We'll take it easy with the weight bearing for now. How's movability? Can you rotate your ankle?" He took off the brace and held her leg carefully in his hand. Elena carefully made circular motions with her foot, not feeling any pain as long as she didn't overdo it. "Looks good," he said, taking his foot in her hand and bending it himself, testing how far he could move it. "Hey, I met your boyfriend," he said as an aside, never looking up from her ankle.

"I'm sorry?" Elena questioned, taken aback by his remark.

"Your boyfriend. We started rehab yesterday. He told me all about you." He winked at her, seemingly without noticing her shocked expression.

"Damon?" she asked, surprised because yes, that was what people in the hospital thought, but she couldn't remember him telling her he was starting rehab.

Mr. Fell stilled in his movements and looked up at her a little uncomfortably. "Uhm, Stefan. Salvatore," he said, obviously wishing he could take his comment back.

"Stefan told you I was his girlfriend?" she asked, feeling awkward in the chair, having her foot held by this man who was now fumbling for words.

"I'm sorry," he said, intently looking down at her ankle again. "I must have misunderstood."

Elena bit her lip. "We broke up," she clarified, not knowing why she felt the need to.

He nodded, feeling along her leg to see if there was any swelling or other problems. "So your boyfriend's in the hospital too?" he asked, his forehead crinkled, obviously thoroughly confused by the situation.

"Who?" Elena asked, equally confused since she just told him that they had broken up.

"Damon," he said, now looking up at her with a totally lost look on his face.

Elena blushed. "We're not… People just assumed. But we're not… dating."

The man just nodded and turned his attention back to her leg. A moment of awkward silence passed between them before he spoke again. "So, no boyfriend then," he concluded more than asked.

"No," Elena confirmed in a quiet voice. He nodded again, a smile playing on his lips that Elena couldn't help but interpret as bemused by her strange situation.

"Alright, the healing seems to go well. We'll take it easy today but I'd like to test your strength in the leg, alright? Could you lie down on this mat, please?" he asked, guiding her over to a thick mat lying on the floor. "Can you bend your knee?" he instructed and she lifted her leg carefully, bending her knee a little but not daring to pull it up further when she met some stiffness. "Alright. You want to practice that," he advised her. "Your knee hasn't been moved in a long time so it probably feels a little rigid. But it's still a joint. It's meant to bend, okay? So work on that at home. Carefully. Don't hurt yourself, but don't give up too easily either." Elena nodded and tried to angle her leg a bit more, earning her an approving smile from the young man. He then grabbed an exercise band, draped it around her foot and gave her both ends. "Now stretch your leg and see if you can exert some pressure on the band, okay? But only so long as it doesn't hurt." Elena pulled on the band slightly and then pressed her foot against the other side of the wide rubber strap. She could feel it give a little at first but then she reached a point at which she would have had to put force into the movement to make the band stretch further. She tried to push a little but her leg protested immediately and she pulled her knee back slightly, cringing at the short stab of pain. "That's fine," her PT reassured her. "Good job. It'll get better with time. I'll just check your leg again to make sure you didn't hurt anything." He sat down next to her to once more inspect her leg.

Elena propped herself up on her elbows. "So," she started, wanting to dissipate the silence they were in while he was examining her. "You're a Fell. Why don't I ever see you at any founding family events?"

"Well, I went to college in Boston and only just moved back. The first event I went to, some poor girl was attacked during the party. They took one of her friends away in handcuffs." He shook his head.

Elena swallowed. He had already treated Stefan and obviously not recognized him. "That was my friend," she stated. "Caroline." In a town like this, he would have found out sooner or later. Especially among the founding families, nothing stayed secret for long. "She's fine though. Nothing happened to her." Elena felt compelled to add: "Stefan… he didn't do anything."

Flashes of recognition, realization and then trepidation flew across his face before he could rein his features back in. "Well, I'm glad to hear that," he finally said with a smile while helping her up.

"You should go to another event," Elena said encouragingly. "Get back on the horse, so to speak. Trust me, most are quite boring."

He laughed lightly and nodded his head. "Worst sell ever," he commented in a joking tone that made Elena join in his laughter. "But alright, I will," he finally agreed. "They seem to have them almost weekly nowadays. Shouldn't be too difficult to find one." He smiled widely at her and helped her onto a stretcher standing by the wall so he could refasten her leg brace. "Alright, Miss Gilbert. This will do as a first session. We'll get into the actual rehab next week. Until then, you should exercise twice a day. Just do some light movability routines to loosen your joints and try and work with the band as well." He picked the blue rubber strap up from the floor and handed it to her. "And I'll see you Monday."

"Or Sunday. Mayor Lockwood is organizing the End-of-Summer Bash in town square. Founding family presence is expected."

"Isn't it always?" he said with a lopsided smile while helping her off the stretcher. "Alright. Maybe I'll see you Sunday then."

* * *

><p>She knew her way around the hospital now, knew at which white-walled corner to turn left and where to turn right. She only nodded to the man sitting on the chair with his newspaper and barged into the room without knocking. She couldn't really storm up to his bed with her leg still in a brace, but she did her best to divulge her anger through other means, like glaring.<p>

"Elena," he gasped, surprised at first but then happy. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to tell you to stop, Stefan." She saw his smile falter.

"Stop what?" he asked, pulling on his handcuffs slightly in an effort to sit up straight.

"Mr. Fell just called you my boyfriend," Elena stated, anger lacing her voice. Stefan didn't respond but looked down at his hands, considering his next move. "Why would you tell people we're together?" she asked, exasperated.

"We didn't actually break up," he mumbled unconvincingly, still not looking up at her.

"You fucking crashed your car into Damon's while I was in it!" she yelled, sobering instantly when she realized her crude choice of words. "We're broken up," she stated, calmer now.

"I'm not giving up on us," Stefan said, sounding determined now, his eyes looking straight into hers. "I can't. I love you."

She shook her head before looking up at him with sorrow in her eyes. "I'm not Katherine, Stefan. You can't replace her with me."

"That's not what I'm doing, Elena. I love you for who you are." His voice was pleading and she felt tears spring to her eyes. "Yes, I sought you out because I was curious. But when I met you, it was like we were destined to be together. What I felt for Katherine has no impact on how I feel about you."

Elena shook her head and wiped a tear away with her sleeve. "The fact that you actually believe it has no impact shows me just how much you're in denial."

"Please don't cry, Elena," he said, leaning forward, wanting to reach for her. "Please. We can fix this. Let me fix this."

"You have to stop, Stefan," Elena said with resolution behind her words. "Don't you realize what you're doing? To me? To Damon? To yourself? You have to stop!" He stared at her with wide eyes. "I know you think you love me. But it's not real. And I know you think you hate Damon but you have to forgive him. I saw the picture of you guys in your room. You miss him."

"Don't talk to me about him," he snarled.

"You need each other, don't you see that?" she all but shouted at him.

"I said don't talk to me about him!" he spat back.

Elena didn't know what else to say and, unable to stay, she simply turned around and left the room.

"Elena!" she heard him call after her, but she couldn't turn around. "Elena!" he called again, more urgently now, but she was already at the door and let it fall closed behind her. The officer guarding the door looked up from his paper.

"You okay, miss?" he asked, having noticed the distressed look on her face.

"I'm fine," she replied and it wasn't a lie. She wasn't shaken to the core like she had been the last time she had spoken with Stefan. She was tired and emotionally drained, but she would be fine. Slowly, she made her way down the corridor and through the maze of white hospital hallways and metal doors until she reached the door to the other brother's room. What had her life become? Limping through these sterile halls on a daily basis, first one brother then the other, and both always filled with anger and sadness. She took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hey," she called out softly as she entered the room.

"Hey," came his reply. As she approached the bed, she could see him smile at her, only a slight smile, barely there, but he seemed relaxed, less anxious than normally.

"How are you?" she asked, surprise and curiosity lacing her voice.

"I'm good," he said, his voice clear, his tone almost light. She arched an eyebrow as she sat down on his bed. "You start rehab today?"

"I did," she said, leaning back against the foot end of his bed. "Just came by to say a quick hi. You seem chipper."

"Chipper?" he asked and she was sure an eyebrow was raised under the bandages covering his face.

"Well you do," she replied, shoving his outstretched leg playfully with hers. "What's got you in a good mood?"

"I thought about what you said," he explained, almost bashfully, she thought. "About the future. About what I want, the white picket fence and all that."

"Yeah?" she asked hesitantly. That had been a long talk. What exactly had he been thinking about, she wondered?

"I think I want to go back to college," he announced, a careful smile taking its place on his lips as he sat in silence, waiting for her reaction.

"College?" she asked, gathering her thoughts.

"Yeah. I mean, I just started before all this happened and… you're right." He sat there, quiet for a while, as if reorganizing his train of thought. "I mean, I can't go on like this. This is…" he waved his arm weakly, as if to indicate the room or maybe the hospital or maybe the situation he found himself in. "This is not… Life's not supposed to be like this."

"Hm…" Elena returned, not sure what to say. She could see the hesitation on Damon's face, could see him waiting for her to respond to the news. "What are you going to study?" she finally asked.

He hesitated for a short moment, before a self-conscious smile crossed his face. "I was studying to become a vet, before." Elena had to smile. For a while they were quiet. "Doesn't sound like me, does it?" he asked, nervously or absent-mindedly picking at the gauze around his hand.

"Yeah, it kinda does," Elena finally answered, still smiling. "Charlotte told me about your cat."

Damon was quiet for a while before he spoke again, discomfort in his voice. "Did she now? I think I have to talk to her about boundaries."

Elena chuckled lightly. "Where is it now? Your cat?" she then asked.

"With my friend Andie," he answered and Elena thought he sounded almost reminiscent.

"Andy who threw all your booze away?" she asked, thinking back to when she thought she had first heard the name.

"The very one," he replied with a sigh. "Can't help saving me, that idiot."

"Very nice," Elena scoffed, disdainfully shoving at his feet with her hand. Damon only chuckled.

"She's my best friend," he finally answered, surprising Elena. She didn't know why, but she had assumed Damon had been talking about a guy. Somehow the new information pulled at something inside her. "Probably my only friend," he continued, musing, almost as if Elena wasn't in the room anymore. "At least the only one who called me out on my shit while never giving me any." He smiled broadly at the memory.

"Sounds like a good friend to have," Elena spoke, suddenly curious about this woman who seemed to have earned Damon's trust, which, as she well knew, was not a simple task to accomplish.

"She is," he agreed. "After Katherine was shot, we hooked up a few times, but she never pushed it. I guess she knew there was nothing there to push. She's the only person other than Katherine who really knows me and still stuck around."

Damon sobered instantly and most likely noticeably. He realized that this was the first time he had missed Katherine all day. He had noticed this happening more and more often, that his mind wandered, that it wasn't always with her, like it should be. He hated himself in these moments. Yes, he had made the conscious decision to move on with his life, but that meant moving on from the self-destruction, not moving on from her. He couldn't allow himself to do that. He loved her. She was the one. Not feeling the pain of her loss every day was the greatest possible betrayal to her and to his own love for her and he knew it. He was surprised that Elena's presence no longer evoked that feeling of reminiscent anxiety in him, like it had in the beginning – was surprised that it actually hadn't in a long time.

He remembered travelling down here from Chicago, having finally found Stefan, following him to figure out what the hell had made him come this this godforsaken nest, and then seeing her for the first time. He felt like he couldn't breathe for a second. His head had been reeling. He had only seen her from afar, but he had recognized her right away, or rather, he had seen the resemblance right away. It had been like a blow to the gut, having spent months at the bedside of the woman you love and then seeing her face walk around, smiling, belonging to someone else.

From up close, she looked nothing like Katherine. The way she had looked up at him, with those big eyes when he went and talked to her while she was sitting under that tree. He had seen the hesitation in her eyes at first and then her reaction to him when she was no longer blinded by the sun. He had noticed the difference right away. Katherine never hesitated and she was also the only girl who hadn't reacted exactly that same way when she had first met him. The hitch in their breath, the quick fluttering of the eyelids, sometimes a slight blush, a coy look to the side. He knew it all, got it every time. But not from Katherine. She had looked him square in the eye, had sized him up and then dismissed him. And not like the other girls who played hard to get. He knew that act too well. No, she had genuinely been disinterested. Later, she had told him that she had seen the predatory look on his face and that had been the turn-off. She was no one's prey. How true that was. He learned it quickly enough. You couldn't hunt Katherine, could catch her even less. You could pray that she allowed you to tame her and then hope she didn't eat you alive in the process.

He had seen none of that in Elena. She didn't have that same imposing look in her eyes, not the feline grace in her step and not the demanding charisma Katherine had. Katherine was a force of nature. She seemed to have infinite amounts of energy, never rested, never just lounged around. She was never bored because she always did something. It was difficult to keep up with her, but it was worth it because when you did, it was a rush. Elena was none of those things. She was less demanding, less powerful, less… magnificent. He didn't remember exactly what about her face was different, but he remembered that he had thought of her as plain. She had the same pretty features of course, but not the same captivating charm her sister had. She had big, soulful eyes, but they lacked Katherine's magnetism. She had curves in all the right places, but she didn't move them with that precise and sensual sway.

He remembered all this and yet he didn't remember how exactly she had managed to weasel her way into his good graces. Already during their first meeting she had surprised him. Yes, she had reacted as all girls did, as he knew she would, but she had seen right through his charm and she didn't bite. She had picked up on his disingenuousness right away and it had made her lose any interest in him immediately. That was the first surprise. Her courage had been the second. Even after his brother's warnings, even after she had figured out what he had done to her friend, she had stood up to him. When he had taken her to Chicago, she had fought him in the car, but not, he thought, because she was scared, but because she believed it wasn't right. They didn't come much more righteous than that, he had thought. But at the same time it had amused, even impressed him. Just because he didn't have a strict moral code himself that didn't mean he couldn't appreciate one in others. She had warmth, an inner strength and kindness that he had only ever seen in Charlotte.

The biggest surprise was that she kept coming back. He had told her he didn't want her coming to see him out of obligation, so he hoped she wasn't. But he couldn't quite figure out what else made her return over and over again. She had made it pretty clear what she thought of him as a person. He had stopped worrying about that a long time ago though, what other people thought of him. No one's opinion really mattered to him. Not even Andie's. As long as people wanted him in their lives, he would be. When they didn't anymore, he would leave. He didn't need anyone to think he was a good guy. In fact it bothered him when they did. With being a good guy came doing good things, worse, doing the right thing. And who was anyone else to tell him what the right thing was or should be?

She had no reason, but still she came. They talked, they laughed, they purged their feelings even. Which normally he hated, but somehow she made it feel less invasive. Maybe the darkness helped, too. Being wrapped in black for weeks on end made him feel a certain distance and disconnect from the world and it made talking about the past and the future easier. But he couldn't blame it all on his blindness, he knew. She had gotten to him even before the accident and she had kept getting to him after. Her soft voice, her questions, her listening, her own opening up, it had all weakened his resolve to not let this girl anywhere near him until now he caught himself looking forward to her visits.

He felt Elena shift uncomfortably. She, like him, had not yet gotten used to the rare moments in which he suddenly decided to share something of himself. "How did you meet her?" she asked, trying to dig deeper while not going places she knew he didn't want to go. She'd gotten quite good at that. And he appreciated her effort.

"Andie?" he asked, which she affirmed. "I was training her kid." She was silent. She was always silent, waiting him out, seeing how much he would divulge of his own accord. "I started being a soccer coach for preschoolers when I was in my senior year." He could hear her breathe out a quick laugh of surprise. "Surprised?" he asked. She always tried to figure him out, he knew, and it gave him a strange sense of pride to throw her a curve ball and knock her off balance.

"When do you ever not surprise me?" he heard her answer from the other side of the bed and it made him smile. That feeling went both ways. For all her morals and good-girl-attitude and seriousness, she had a fun side, spontaneity and spunk. He could tell that the past year, her parents' accident, had to have changed her, that there was a different girl underneath; one that she missed but one that she also tried to bury deep.

"So, you were a soccer coach for little kids?" she asked. "I thought you played football."

"I see Charlotte has informed you well of all aspects of my life," he snarked.

"Well not all, obviously. I didn't know about your soccer teaching gig," she returned instantly. He couldn't see it, but he could hear the smile in her voice. He couldn't even remember what she looked like smiling. He had seen it too few times. But he had heard it often. Hearing her smile was probably even better than seeing her smile. All pretty girls looked the same when they smiled, all white teeth and crinkly nose. But the tone in her voice was special. It was a change from the normally heavy, melancholic quality. It made every instance seem unique and important.

"I played football in fall and soccer in spring," he explained.

"And then you decided to spend your free time coaching kids?" she didn't sound convinced and he couldn't blame her.

"Fine. I got caught trying to break into the Adler Planetarium and sentenced to community service," he admitted.

She had to digest this for a second before being able to reply. "You broke into a planetarium?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, I tried," he corrected her.

"Why?" she asked, still sounding immensely astonished.

"Why not?" he returned. "I thought it'd be fun. I was bored."

"When I get bored, I read a book," she argued.

"When I read a book, I get bored," he shot back.

Elena sighed. "So as a punishment they gave you a job where you could corrupt kids while scamming on soccer moms?"

"Oh please, the soccer moms were the ones doing the scamming," he scoffed, exaggeratedly shaking his shoulders to demonstrate his discomfort.

"I'm sure they were," she replied, shifting her weight slightly. He could feel her lean back a little more, could feel it because her leg was brushing along his as her body moved a few inches down the mattress. "Must have been real hard for you," she teased.

"Aside from the lusting moms it was fine," he said with a smirk. "The kids were great."

"Really? You like kids now?" she asked, obviously skeptical.

"Look, I'm not saying I want any myself," he yielded. "But they're hilarious. They don't give a shit about… you know, their parents' expectations. Not at that age. Their parents send them to play soccer and they stand at the sidelines during the games and wave and scream and tell them to run and score goals, they have all these ambitions for their kids. But the children themselves, they don't understand what ambition is; they don't understand what it means to win. They're just having fun running after a gigantic ball and being the center of attention." He remembered Andie's kid. The little boy had been his favorite. He would run up and down the field, wherever his pals were running, and kept waving frantically at his mom. Damon didn't think he remembered the boy ever having any contact with the ball at all. He had to smile at the memory of the little blond whirlwind tottering around on the grass on his far too short legs, completely oblivious to the point of the game he was involved in. "Like Aiden. He would just, you know, sit down and play with a bug he saw." He could hear Elena giggling. "This one time, the team was actually winning and about to score again. They're all charging for the goal. Everyone. I mean, they don't quite understand the concept of offense and defense. They just all run after the ball and shoot it in the direction I tell them. If I'm lucky they don't even mess up left and right." Elena had to laugh. He could hear the bubbly sound and feel the vibrations in the mattress. "So they're all running towards the goal and suddenly I feel something tugging on my jeans and I look down and I see Aiden, having walked off the field, looking up at me. And he's like: 'Mr. Coach, can you tie my laces please?' and he looks so serious. Like that's what's most important right now, that his shoes are tied properly."

He could hear Elena laugh fully now. He had only ever heard her laugh one other time and it was wonderful to hear it again. She had an infectious laugh. It was full of warmth and actual happiness. He didn't want to compare the sisters, but it was difficult not to. They had the same voice, yet sounded completely different. Katherine always spoke in a challenging, stimulating tone, a cocky way of letting words bounce off her tongue. Elena's voice was softer and gentler. It spoke of emotions that didn't need to be said because they flowed with the words. It was the same thing with their laugh. They both had the same low, velvety timbre but where Katherine's was sultry always and mocking at times, Elena's was joyful and relaxed. Genuine delight bubbled up with every bout of giggles. He couldn't help but smile with her and wish she would laugh all the time.

* * *

><p>Elena was standing in her room getting ready. It was not an easy feat, dressing with your leg in a brace. It was an even more difficult feat trying to look cute with your leg in a brace. But that was what Caroline had ordered: "Elena, I'll pick you up in an hour and you better look cute!" She looked at herself in her mirror and sighed. Not only did she not feel cute, she also didn't feel like going out. The End-of-Summer Bash was exactly what she didn't feel like doing today. It was too hot to be outside with her leg wrapped in the bulky support and she still felt too weak to stand around town square for hours. A sit-down dinner she might have been able to get excited about, but a BBQ with a side of dancing was really not up her alley at the moment. The only reason she even looked forward to the event a little bit was because she had high hopes of spying on her aunt out on her first real, official date with Mr. Saltzman. As she heard the car horn outside, she gave herself a last once over in her full-length mirror and shrugged. It was not going to get any better, no point lamenting that fact.<p>

Her two best friends were waving at her emphatically from Caroline's car. It was a silver Dodge Charger, a car as un-Caroline as a car could be, a gift from her not-present yet over-protective father. Right now, Elena was thankful for the extra leg space.

Arriving at town square, Elena spotted her aunt and history teacher immediately. They were sitting on one of the wooden benches and she was playfully picking food from his plate. Elena saw him shake his head, chastising Jenna, a wide smile on his face; she also saw Jenna throw her head back with laughter, touching his arm flirtatiously, reminding her of how young her guardian really was. Again, the realization hit her that being in charge of two teens was not a burden a girl in her mid-twenties, still a student herself, should have to bear. But she did it without complaining and a wave of thankfulness rushed through Elena, accompanied by the deep hope that happiness was waiting for her aunt down the road, maybe even with a teacher with a funny name. She was pulled from her musings by the touch of someone's hand on her shoulder. When she spun around she was met with Matt's easy smile and quickly pulled into a friendly hug. He had walked over to them with Jeremy and Tyler as soon as they had gotten out of the car. After releasing her from his embrace, he turned around to catch his girlfriend by her waist and pull her in for a kiss. On her other side, Jeremy did the same with Bonnie. She could tell that her friend was still uncomfortable with the public display of affection, saw her eyes dart around quickly to see if anyone was staring and a slight blush creep up her cheeks, but she kept her fingers linked with Jeremy's and smiled at him with those stupidly happy eyes you only ever make at someone who takes your breath away with his kisses. Elena had to smile. She was glad her friends had all found happiness and, to her own surprise, not as weirded out by her brother's romance as she had expected to be.

"I guess we should make out too," she heard Tyler say next to her ear. "Being left over and all."

She turned around and smacked him lightly on his chest. "Yeah right," she huffed but a sense of normalcy came over her and relieved her of the anxiety she had felt coming here. That's how it had always been. All of them hanging out together, laughing, making inappropriate jokes. She hadn't realized how much she had missed it and suddenly she was glad she had come after all.

"Hey there," she suddenly heard a familiar voice behind her back and she turned around, surprised to see Sam Fell smile at her.

"Mr. Fell," she exclaimed with a warm smile. "You came."

He nodded and stepped a little closer to the group of friends. "Elena," Caroline chirped behind her back. "Who's your friend?"

"Uhm guys, this is my physical therapist. Mr. Fell," she explained. "These are Caroline Forbes, Matt Donovan, Bonnie Bennett, Tyler Lockwood and my brother Jeremy," she then continued, making a noncommittal half circular motion with her hand, indicating her friends.

"Sam, please," he rectified her introduction while extending his hand to shake everyone else's. "I see the founding family heirs still stick together." He smiled warmly.

"It's the curse that comes with being forced to attend all these boring functions," Caroline replied sweetly.

"Sam!" they suddenly heard a manly voice call from across the square. "Sam Fell!" They turned to see Tyler's uncle Mason jog towards them, a broad smile on his sun-tanned face. Elena only knew him from afar. He was her friend's uncle, though only slightly older than they were. He had actually gone to school with Jenna and, she assumed, with Sam Fell. When he reached the group, he immediately pulled the young man into a hearty embrace, slapping him on the back jovially. "What are you doing here, man? Haven't seen you since you left for College."

"I'm back," came his response. "I work at the hospital now. What are you doing here? I heard you moved to Florida."

"I did," Mason confirmed. "I'm just here for the elections. Supporting my brother and all. For some reason that guy wants to stay Mayor." He smiled even wider now. "But who gives a crap about politics?" he beamed, pulling his old friend away from the group by his shoulder. "Let's grab a beer. Catch up. I gotta introduce you to a few scantily clad friends of mine." As they walked away, he turned around one last time. "Kids, we'll catch ya later."

"It was nice to meet you," Sam added, turning around and trying to wave, but being pulled away too quickly.

"He's a Fell?" Caroline asked, siding up next to Elena.

"Yep," Elena nodded.

"And a doctor," Caroline continued and Elena detected a hint of subtext in her voice.

"A physical therapist," she corrected. "He's in charge of my rehab."

"And cute," Caroline kept going, disregarding Elena's interjection.

"If you say so," Elena shrugged.

"If _I_ say so?" Caroline questioned indignantly. "I don't need to find him cute. You, on the other hand…"

"I don't _need_ to find him cute, either," Elena returned dismissively.

"Come on, E! You guys are perfect for each other." Caroline stood directly behind her now, resting her chin on her friend's shoulder and looking in the direction the two young men had wondered off into. They were standing by the bar, holding beers in their hands now, chatting animatedly. "He's a founding family member," the blonde cooed encouragingly.

"Since when do you care if someone's a founding family member?" Elena asked with a slight laugh.

"It's not that I care about it but hey, it's a bonus, right?"

"Not necessarily," Elena declined.

"Oh please. He's definitely a trade up from hanging out with the Salvatores. Just look at him, he has dimples!" Caroline persisted.

Elena looked at the man standing across the square from her. She hadn't really paid attention to him when she met him in his white hospital outfit, but even then she had noticed that he did admittedly have a very good smile. It pulled his cheeks up immensely and crinkled the corners of his eyes. And he did have dimples, there was no denying that. And yes, Elena did like dimples in a man. He also had, as she noted now, very nice hair. It was a warm honey shade of blond that now glowed in the light coming from the setting sun. "So he looks good in jeans and a t-shirt," she reluctantly conceded.

Caroline lifted her chin off her friend's shoulder and bounced up and down merrily. "He looks exquisite in jeans and t-shirt," she agreed.

"Who looks exquisite in jeans and t-shirt?" Matt asked, playfully offended, walking up to them with a drink in his hand.

"You do, baby," Caroline announced ardently and threw her arms around his neck.

"That's what I thought," he said with a nod and a smile, pulling her closer.

Elena smiled at her friends' antics and then turned her eyes back to the man they had been talking about, blushing slightly when she caught him looking directly at her in return. When their eyes locked, he curved his lips up into a half-smile and raised his beer in a long distance toast. Elena smiled back and, in lack of a drink herself, lifted her hand in a slight wave. She dropped it again immediately, feeling ridiculous and clumsy and turned around to her friends to terminate this awkward moment as quickly as possible.

* * *

><p>"Need a ride?" Elena turned around, surprised, only to see her PT walk up to her.<p>

"I kinda do," she affirmed. All night she'd been having fun with her friends, had even enjoyed sitting on the sidelines and clapping along while they were participating in the dance-off. She had even had a chance to catch up with a few people she hadn't really talked to in a while, like Dana and Sarah. After that however, trying to find someone to take her home, she had realized that being friends with only recently formed couples had it downsides. Them disappearing at events to make out in secret corners was one of those. So now she stood at the edge of town square, wondering which of her friends and family members would be the least mad at her about a disturbance call right now. That was why, when she was offered a ride home, she was glad to accept it.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" she asked when she had sat down in the passenger seat and the car was zooming quietly along the dark, deserted town streets.

"I did," he acquiesced with a nod. "Thanks for telling me to go. It was great, catching up with everyone."

"Glad I could help," she answered with a smile.

"Listen," he started and she heard the change in tone immediately. "I don't want to… ruin the mood or anything but… Mason told me about what happened to your parents and I just wanted to say I'm sorry." Elena swallowed. Of course someone told him. Like she had predicted, things never stayed secret for long in a town like this. "I know it's not my place but I knew your parents a bit and they were great people. I just wanted you to know that I have great memories of them, you know."

"Thanks," she said quietly. "That's actually nice to hear. I didn't know you knew them."

"Not very well," he conceded. "But I knew them from events and stuff. When I was still in school, we were like you guys are now. Us kids, Mason, Jenna, Logan and I, we would hang out in some back room or something and your dad would always sneak out some drinks for us and sit with us a while to chat. He was everyone's favorite. I suspect he wanted to make sure none of us made moves on his little sister." He laughed lightly. "But whatever his true reasons, he was a great guy."

Elena had to smile. "Thanks. For telling me that story," she said. She was used to people looking at her sadly and saying how sorry they were for her loss. To hear someone tell of fond memories of her parents actually made for a nice change.

"Hey, I was wondering," he began, sounding almost nervous all of a sudden. "They're showing a bunch of classics at the drive in. I thought maybe you'd like to go… with me." He didn't look at her but kept his eyes on the road. Elena stared at him for a second, too surprised to form an answer right away. Was he asking her out?

"Uhm, yeah. That sounds… uhm sure," she finally stuttered, instantly blushing at her inability to form a coherent sentence.

"I mean, if there's a film you'd like to see. I just thought… you know, not walking and stuff. Perfect date for your leg."

Elena realized that his sentence-constructing-skills were equally as horrible right now as hers and also that he actually called it a date and that if she said yes now, it was clear that they weren't just going as friends. Elena felt her palms start to get damp. She wasn't sure going on a date was actually a good idea. She wasn't sure for several reasons. One being that she just got out of a very short-lived but none the less extremely messy relationship, another being that she wasn't sure how she felt about the guy asking her out. Yes, she had admitted earlier that he was good looking and yes, he did seem nice so far, but was she really in a position right now where she could start dating someone with an open mind? She wasn't sure.

"Yeah, I mean, I'll see what they're showing. Sure," she agreed again, hoping this was vague enough to give her the opportunity to back out, should she 'not find a movie she liked' or something.

"Okay, yeah," he said, looking half satisfied and half still worried. At that moment they pulled up in front of her house. While Elena was still struggling with her crutch, he jumped out of the car and sprinted around it, pulling the door open for her and helping her to step outside.

"Wow, and he's a gentleman," Elena quipped with a slight smile and to her relief, he quirked his lip into a half-smile at that, effectively relieving some of the tension that had formed between them.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said when they reached her porch and Elena started to fumble in her purse for her keys. It had been very nice of him to accompany her to her door, but standing there now, she felt awkward. She hoped to god that he wouldn't try and kiss her.

"Yeah. Definitely," she confirmed, hoping she didn't sound as nervous as she felt. "Thanks for the ride."

"Sure," he replied and then, so as to not drag out the moment any longer, he leaned in quickly, blew a chaste kiss on her cheek and turned to jog back to his car. "Have a good night," he called with a quick wave.

"You too," she called back, surprised at how agreeable this situation had sorted itself out, and then she stepped into her home.

* * *

><p>"He asked you out?" Caroline all but squealed when Elena relayed these events to her friends at school the next day.<p>

"I think so," Elena nodded, trying to get her friend to lower her voice by speaking quietly herself.

"Oh my god, that's so exciting!" Caroline squealed again, only managing to dial it down a fraction. "He's dreamy!"

"I don't know," Elena returned. "I mean, I don't know him at all. He seems nice and all, but…"

"No buts. He seems nice, he has a good job and he is hot. There's nothing more you can ask for."

"Well, she can ask for him to not be a serial killer," Bonnie interjected dryly.

"That's included in the 'nice' part," Caroline waved her off.

"She could also ask for him to not be a cheating douchebag," Bonnie added unwaveringly.

"Again," Caroline replied dismissively. "Included in the 'nice' part."

Elena had to giggle lightly.

"I totally think you should do it. When will you see him again?" Caroline asked, grasping Elena's hands for emphasis.

"Today after school," she informed her.

"Yes!" Caroline exclaimed, to which both her friends rolled their eyes. "Come on, Bonnie. Don't tell me you disapprove of this one," Caroline said with annoyance in her voice.

Bonnie looked annoyed. "Why do you always make me out to be the bad guy?" she asked huffily. "Isn't it like illegal for him to hit on his patient?"

Elena shrugged her shoulders while Caroline sighed in exasperation. "Who cares if it's illegal or not?" the blonde questioned indignantly.

"Well, the youth welfare services for one," Bonnie returned, piqued now. "He's way too old. That's like… unlawful sexual conduct with a minor."

"Ew," Elena gasped, unable to decide whether she was disgusted or very amused.

"Oh please, Elena's basically eighteen," Caroline returned in an annoyed tone.

"Not really," Elena laughed, now certain that she was amused.

"Come on," Caroline pleaded with both her friends. "He's a nice guy. And seriously with the age difference? He's barely any older than we are. It's not like he's a creepy old guy."

"You just like older men," Elena teased with a giggle.

"You guys are just uptight," Caroline defended. "Come on, Bon. You gotta admit that he seems like a good guy."

Bonnie heaved a heavy sigh but then relented. "Fine. He does seem like a good guy."

"Thank you," Caroline accepted with an affirming nod.

"I just don't know if Elena should be dating anyone right now," Bonnie continued, not being discouraged by her blonde friend's renewed icy glare. "I mean, she just got out of a really nasty relationship. Her wounds still need to heal. Literally." She pointed to Elena's braced leg for emphasis.

"That's kind of what I was thinking," Elena agreed weakly.

"Nonsense!" Caroline exclaimed. "You can't choose when you fall in love!"

"Well, I'm not sure that's actually what's going on here," Elena replied hastily, wanting to trivialize the issue as quickly as possible.

"You never know," Caroline answered in a conspiratorial tone.

At that moment the bell rang, much to Elena's relief. While putting her unneeded books into her locker, she threw a quick glance at her cell phone, more out of habit than because she thought someone would have actually called her. But, to her surprise, the news that she had a missed call was emblazoned across the small screen. She unlocked the phone to see who it was from, only to be met by an unknown number. She looked at the line of digits, trying to figure out if she had seen them before, but she didn't think she had. She then opened up her past calls log to see if the number appeared on there, giving her a clue as to who it might have been. Maybe it was the hospital. Again, she came up empty. Just as she was about to put it away again, the screen lit up anew, the unknown number creeping across the display. Elena looked at her phone, bewildered for a second, before picking it up.

"Hello?" she asked carefully.

"Hi," came the reply. It was a male voice, familiar she thought, but that little word had been too short to recognize anyone.

"Who is this?" she asked, hoping to not offend the caller should it be someone she should recognize while at the same time praying it wasn't some creepy anonymous stalker.

"What are you wearing?" he asked, a smirk obvious in his voice, and this time she recognized him right away.

"Damon?" she asked, surprised that he would call her and surprised that he had her number – or a phone for that matter. He only chuckled in response. "Why are you…" she didn't know where to start. "Are you okay?" was what she finally settled on.

"Yeah," he replied and she thought she heard a softness, an easiness in his voice that she wasn't used to and she couldn't quite place.

"Why are you calling me? I mean…" she began again, knowing how stupid and rude that question sounded, but it had been the first one to fall out of her mouth.

"I didn't know who else to call," he admitted and it sounded both sad and happy at the same time.

"But…" she was at a loss for words. He didn't sound like he was in pain or like something was seriously wrong. "How are you even calling me?" she asked, still confused. Wouldn't a nurse call her, if something had happened? Was Harper sitting next to him, dialing phone numbers because he was bored?

"Elena," he said quietly but with intensity in his voice, "I can see."

* * *

><p><strong>Please let me know what you think :) Pretty please? Pretty pretty please? xoxo<strong>


	16. Chapter 16 COLORS

Wow you guys! I'm so speechless because of all your wonderful reviews to the last chapter! Was not expecting that! So thank you sooooooo much! Guess what they did to my musie :) They made her speed up. So here's the next chapter already. Special thanks to my dear dear NyEspi (check out her exciting new story "Uninvited"!) who always helps me through my crises! And also the wonderful ElvishGrrl (read her beautiful oneshots "Gone" and "Forever"!) who magically made all my mistakes disappear :) Also, TVD does not belong to me. Bummer, I know. That's it. Please enjoy and let me know what you think :)

* * *

><p>16. COLORS<p>

"_Man has not one and the same life. He has many lives, placed end to end,"  
><em>― Chateaubriand

Damon was sitting in his bed. Always just sitting. Had been for weeks now. And usually it was killing him. He had started to hate this bed, hate this hospital. He hated sitting around, sitting still, he needed the exercise to clear his head, could only ever really think when he was running through the park back home, Lake Michigan on one side, Lake Shore Drive on the other. Jogging in the woods in Mystic Falls had been fine, too; leaving his apartment at sunset, seeing the last golden rays illuminate his way towards the small forest road and then diving into the already darkened ocean of trees, feeling the difference of the soft, moist ground beneath his feet, in stark contrast with the harsh concrete they had been pounding on seconds before, his lungs greedily filling with the scent of pine, moss and dewy grass. The air was cooler here than it was among the houses of the small town, where the summer heat gathered in the cracks of the stone walls and emanated from the tar till late into the night. He longed for the rush of fresh air against his heating skin, longed for the slight burn in his muscles, longed for the sense of strength, speed and agility. Sitting in this bed for he didn't know how many days, unable to flex a single muscle without pain, unable to even stretch without suffering, it was wearing on him, making him feel less and less human.

The worst thing was that he had gotten so used to the hospital that it didn't feel foreign to him anymore. The sweet and alcoholic smell of disinfectant had surrounded him for too long, crept inside his nostrils, probably seeped into his skin, so that now he couldn't smell it anymore. It was just air. The humming of electricity was just ambient noise. He dreamed of just getting up and walking out of this place and moving, running and never stopping again. He also dreamed of a stiff drink in a good bar. Or even a mediocre bar. Any bar would do, really, as long as they served bourbon. Bodies squeezing past one another in the crowded room, voices elevated to be heard above the constant noise of music, clinking glasses, laughter, flirting, bickering, whooping.

It was so quiet here, always so quiet, always just steps of invisible people behind the door that shut him away from the world, sometimes the wailing of the sirens when a new patient was delivered to the emergency room, sometimes the rustling of the wind in the trees outside, the crunching of tires on the gravel when one of the faceless nurses left the window open, sometimes voices of someone talking to someone else in the hallway, laughing with someone else. He had always liked solitude, preferred it infinitely over the company of one of the many people who bored or annoyed him. But it was only desirable when it was a choice. Being confined to this room now, only hearing people pass by his door, almost mocking him, he felt, with their complete ignorance of his presence behind the walls, it was the worst kind of loneliness. Even when someone did enter the room, because they had to, because he needed to be fed or washed and was still embarrassingly incapable of doing any of those things himself, they were only a monument to how alone he really was. Floating voices rushing from one end of the room to the other, chattering about things he didn't care about, doing things he would never know about. Voices like the sharp and unplaceable British accent of the nurse who told him her name was Rose and who he imagined to be pretty, or the benevolent, slightly southern drawl of the one that asked he call her Mabel, the one who told him she was actually happy he couldn't see because young, handsome fellas like himself would only use her last name, once they'd read it on her name tag and she would much rather he didn't. Sometimes they touched him, when he needed to be moved to the bathroom or when they wanted to make sure he didn't spill food all over himself. How much he longed for and hated those touches. He hated the charity of them, hated the necessity, hated that he was touched because someone else was forced to touch him, not because they wanted to. How much he missed the soft caress of a girl's hand on his skin, the moist press of her lips against his, how much he missed other things, too. That was another reason why he missed the bars – there were always plenty of willing women just waiting for him to take them home. Busty blondes, slender redheads, short brunettes who had to stand on their toes and cling to his neck to kiss him.

Today, however, wasn't like that. He could see. Who cared about sitting in some bed when your brain was too flushed with new impressions to register the achy pressure of the mattress against your softening muscles? Who cared about the fact that the only picture hanging on the empty white walls was hideous, when it was so infinitely better than utter blackness? Who cared that shapes were still somewhat blurry? There were shapes, for God's sake! And colors! Mostly different shades of white, but how glorious was the speckled linoleum floor, how amazing the red upholstery of the chair by his bed, how clear and friendly the green of the door! He had even tried watching TV, wanting to soak in the iconic visualness of the whole world at once, but it had given him an instant headache. So for now he contented himself with seeing his room. It was a pretty spectacular room, he thought. There were gleaming chrome appliances next to his bed and wrinkles in his sheets. He could have traced those shadowy crevasses and highlighted hills for hours. What a wonder it was that white could turn into grey or black simply through lack of light.

The door burst open and in the doorframe stood Elena. He had to smile. She always knocked, polite little thing that she was. But not today. Her wide eyes stared at him but she was too far away, too blurry for him to make out the emotion they might be filled with. She didn't exactly rush to his side, she limped, hectically alternating crutches and her healthy foot until she reached him finally and just dropped the walking aids to the floor, plopping herself unceremoniously on the bed, her broken leg hanging off the side, her healthy one curled under her, essentially falling against him, closing her arms in a tight embrace around his neck. Her smell was familiar as it suddenly puffed up all around him and enveloped him in a cloud of hinted vanilla and barely-there lilac. But he could see her now, too. Or parts of her at least. He could see the sun-kissed skin of her long legs disappear under the denim cloth of her skirt, could see the tips of her shiny hair fall down the purple stretch of her tight shirt pulled across her back, could see his own hand, crudely wrapped in gauze, slowly moving across that back as he hesitantly wrapped his arm around her in return.

She pulled away finally, but only a little, her hands still resting on his shoulders, her face only inches from his. Her eyes looked at him the way he thought a researcher would, inspecting and cataloguing. "How are you?" she asked, her intense stare never leaving his eyes.

"Uhm… good," he replied, overwhelmed by something. What though? Surely not her question.

She giggled lightly. "I mean, how do you feel? Can you see? Everything?"

He smiled bashfully and shrugged. "It's still a bit blurry. But, yeah."

She kept quiet, looking at him expectantly. There was more, she knew there had to be more. He glanced towards the window quickly, but there was nothing to see, the shades were lowered so he wouldn't be blinded by the bright sunlight.

"It's incredible," he finally relented and he saw her eyes light up, a smile filled with excitement and glee forming on her lips. "Thanks for wearing purple," he added. "Hadn't seen that yet." She giggled again. He had been wrong, he realized. Hearing her smile was not better than seeing it. Her whole face lit up and while that was an incredibly clichéd and also completely insufficient way of describing what was happening - one that didn't do her justice - that was exactly what he saw. The skin on her forehead relaxed while it tightened around her eyes, crinkling the corners joyfully and drawing attention to the twinkle glistening in them. _Happiness_ was written on her slightly raised brow, on her curved lips, on the swell and flush of her cheeks. He wondered why she was this happy. Just for him? It seemed too strange. He had never known anyone who got this excited for someone else. Like his happiness contributed to her own. Not in the way where you're happy for someone else, but as if the simple fact that he felt better brought her infinite joy.

He couldn't help but remark, "You look different."

Her smile subsided slightly and gave way to a curious look. "I do?" she asked, leaning back a bit further and self-consciously running a hand through her hair.

"Yes," he replied. Now it was he who was scrutinizing her. His eyebrows squeezed together slightly as he tried to pinpoint what exactly looked different. He couldn't make out any actual change. It was more a general impression he got. Like her eyes had become deeper or more full of life, maybe.

"I don't know," she said, dropping her eyes as if to inspect herself, wanting to see if she might be able to make out any differences. "I didn't do anything." She looked back up at him, waiting for an elaboration on what exactly he thought had changed about her, but he was still just studying her. "Good different or bad different?" she finally asked, cocking her head to the side.

He had to smile. "No, just… Never mind. You look good. Relaxed."

"I feel good," she confirmed. "When did they tell you?"

"They told me Friday that they wanted to try today. At least run a few tests, see if there was any progress," he recounted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. She leaned back against the foot of Damon's bed. It felt strange, sitting so close to him now. It felt more invasive. Like his blindness had built a barrier that had to be overcome by touching and like that barrier was now gone and touching him had suddenly become strangely intimate. He looked at her with eyes that seemed to not yet be adjusted to seeing again. A penetrating look that was unguarded, the way people only dare to look at you directly from behind sunglasses because they think you won't notice; as if he was looking at her, inspecting her, but not aware of the fact that she could see him, too.

"I wanted to be sure there was something to tell," he explained and she understood. She knew how high her own hopes would have been, had he told her there was a possibility he might be able to see again, and so soon. And how devastated she would have been, had the results been negative. She couldn't even imagine the emotional roller coaster he had to have been on all weekend, waiting for Monday, hoping against hope, while at the same time fear had to have been clutching at him, conjuring up scenarios in his mind of all the things that could go wrong. She just wished he would have let her be there for him.

There was a knock. "Yeah?" Damon said, turning his head towards the door. It opened and a nurse came in, smiling and pushing a cart with trays in front of her.

"Hi Damon," she beamed. Elena saw Damon looking at the woman, trying to place her, searching for clues that might tell him who she was. "How are we doing today?"

Recognition suddenly spread across his face. "You're Rose," he said, pride in his voice.

"I am," she confirmed, smiling happily. "What gave me away?" she asked, laying the accent on extra thick and winking at Elena.

"Well, you always sounded pretty, so when I saw you it was my best guess," he returned, with a smirk and a wink himself.

"Always such a charmer," she said, while rolling her eyes and lifting one of the trays off the wagon. "Here's your lunch. At least you can't talk with food in your mouth, am I right?" At the last part she threw Elena a conspiratorial look.

"I guess I'll… get going," Elena offered, scolding herself for having forgotten about the time. She always came after lunch, always.

"Oh, do you have plans?" Damon asked, while opening the juice.

"No, I just… didn't want to intrude," she attempted to clarify.

"Don't be silly," he objected, earning him a smile from her as she leaned back against the foot rest.

"Well, I'll finish my rounds and then come back in about half an hour," Rose announced, before leaving the pair on the bed.

Elena was amazed that he let her stay. It was as if his confidence had returned along with his eyesight. It made her feel giddy to be able to share this moment with him, his first day of being able to see. The bubbles inside her made her chatty and so, while he ate and watched her carefully, she talked. He didn't seem to mind. He seemed to enjoy just being able to watch her move her hands and shake her head. She did catch him glance towards the window distractedly from time to time and had caught him doing it before. She couldn't blame him really - he'd been cooped up in this room for weeks.

"How are you with the wheelchair?" she asked, catching him off guard.

"What do you mean?" He looked at her, surprised.

"I mean, can you go places in the wheelchair?" she persisted.

He looked at her curiously, trying to figure out what she was up to. "I can. But why?" he asked, further disconcerted by the look in her eyes. "What's that look?" he asked, almost accusingly.

"What look?" she asked, smirking at him.

"That." He waved in her direction with his fork. "I've never seen that look before. You're up to something." There was a glint in her eyes he couldn't place. It might have been mischievous if he didn't think her incapable of mischief.

She laughed a light laugh that made her silky hair fawn across her shoulders. Then she got up, laboriously picked up her crutches, and hopped to where the wheelchair was standing, rolling it over to stand beside his bed. "Come on then," she said, excitement in her voice.

"I can't get into it by myself," he bit out, clearly uncomfortable.

"I'll help you," she offered, earning her a rather skeptical look from him.

"You can barely stand yourself," he huffed, which she only waved off, pulling at his blanket.

Grumpily he scooted to the edge of the bed, dropping first his healthy leg off the edge and then slowly heaving the casted one off the mattress as well. Elena stabilized the wheelchair and then came to stand next to him, balancing herself against the bed so he could use her to steady himself while turning around. She held him by his lower arm while he was supporting himself on the armrest of the wheelchair, lowering himself into it as carefully as possible. He could move, but it was clear that it still hurt. When he was finally settled, he pulled his broken leg up onto the extended and elevated footrest. Elena placed her crutches in his lap with a smirk and started pushing the wheelchair towards the door, awkwardly hopping after it.

"Seriously? You want to push me somewhere like that? You're gonna fall and break your other leg as well," he warned testily.

"Oh please," she simply waved him off, while hopping around him to open the door and push him through it.

"Where are we even going?" he asked, still grouchy, as they moved slowly down the hospital corridors. Elena didn't reply, though. She busied herself with pressing the elevator button and pushing him inside. When she hit the zero, indicating they were going to the ground floor, his complaining stopped immediately. He had a pretty good idea of where she might be taking him. And it was the best idea ever. When they reached the lobby, Elena hopped in front of him for a second and pulled something out of her purse.

"Here put these on," she said, handing him her big, round, girly sunglasses.

"Yeah, absolutely not," he declined, looking at her like she was crazy.

"You have to go gentle on your eyes. Come on," she insisted, leaning forward to put them on his face herself.

"Thanks," he said in a gruff tone. "Now I look like Paris Hilton."

"If you're a good boy, I'll get you a Chihuahua for Christmas," she promised cheekily and hopped back behind the wheelchair to finally push him outside. As the automatic doors to the hospital's backyard parted, a soft breeze of warm air rushed towards them and gently stroked across Damon's bare arms. He could suddenly smell the grass, the earthy smell of the flower beds, a slight hint of roses. It smelled like heaven. As they left the building, the sun hit first his legs and then crept up his torso until it shone on his face and warmed his skin like a caress. He had forgotten how wonderful sunshine felt on your skin.

"This is great, Elena. Thanks," he said, awkwardly trying to turn around to face her but unable to twist that far.

"Mhm," she said, pushing him further onto a patch of grass and under a rather large maple tree. She locked the chair in place with the brake and came to stand next to him. "Ready?" she asked.

"For what?" he returned, puzzled.

She held on to the arm of the wheel chair and slowly lowered herself to the ground, bending her healthy knee while extending the broken leg in front of her, until she was sitting on the grass. Then she scooted over a bit a padded the ground next to her, as if to encourage him to join her.

"You want me to sit on the grass?" he asked, looking at her with bewilderment. She just nodded. "I'm good in the chair, thanks," he brushed her off.

"Come on, please?" she persisted, throwing him her cutest smile.

He hated that smile on girls. They always thought they could get men to do whatever they wanted them to do just by smiling. It hadn't worked on him yet. In his opinion, it was a weakness of character on their part to try and exploit that imaginary power.

He rolled his eyes and pushed himself out of the chair in annoyance. He slowly lowered himself to the ground like Elena had done, knowing full well that he had to look like a fool. Luckily there was no one around to see him embarrass himself. When he had managed to finally reach the grass without inflicting any additional injuries, he scooted next to her and threw her a disdainful look.

"Happy?" he asked huffily.

Elena just nodded and then let herself sink down until she was lying in the grass, never leaving him with her eyes. He rolled his eyes – not that she saw it, because of the shades – and leaned back, until he was lying on the ground, as well. Elena pointed to the sky above them and he turned his head, facing upwards. His gaze wasn't met by clouds, however, it was met by thick leaves, swaying in the gentle breeze, shimmering in all different shades of green. He lay quietly for a while, just contemplating the brilliant color pallet above him.

Elena finally broke the silence. "When I was a kid, I used to lie under the tree in our backyard. I used to paint, when I was little, and I always tried to paint a tree like this, with all the different colors that come from the layering and the sun. I never could. It's too intricate. But I was always happiest lying under that tree and thinking of all the things that would still happen in my life. I thought I would meet a prince… from Monaco or something… and become a princess. Or you know… a famous painter." She giggled.

"Is that what you want to be?" he asked, turning back to her. "A painter?"

"No." She shook her head vehemently, waving him off. "That was just when I was little."

"What do you want to do now?" he questioned her further.

"I don't know," she admitted, looking back up at the leaves. "I haven't thought about that in a long time."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Don't know," she sighed. "Didn't seem all that important."

"What are you talking about? The future's the only thing that's important," he objected.

"Look who's talking," she scoffed.

"Exactly. And where has that gotten me?" He turned his head back towards the sky as well. "If there's one thing I've learned from all this shit, it's that the future's the only thing we can change."

Elena turned to look at him. He looked like a statue, with his strong chin, his chiseled jaw and his fine cheekbones. She could have simply lain there and watched him for hours, like you would a painting. With the bandages gone and his hair falling messily across his forehead, covering most of his scar, you couldn't even tell he had been hurt. He looked so young, so calm, so content, an almost invisible smile on his relaxed lips, that Elena's heart clenched at the thought of all the pain that was in his life. His own pain, the pain of the people he loved, the pain he felt he needed to inflict upon others. She couldn't help but believe that he could have been a very different man, maybe could be a very different man still.

"Change to what though?" Elena mused.

"Whatever you want. You, Miss Gilbert, are a bright, beautiful young woman. Your future can be anything. You should travel to Monaco, look for that prince."

"Oh, I've gotten over the prince thing." She shook her head. "Too much waving at crowds and such."

He chuckled lightly. "Fine. No prince then. Doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what else could make you happy."

"I see the tree is working its magic on you," she countered with a sly smile. "See how inspiring it is?"

"Guess so," he agreed, still staring up at the rustling leaves. Then he turned back to her, lowered the sunglasses and fixed her with his eyes. "Thank you," he said. "For taking me here."

She felt her throat go dry a little. "No problem," she returned.

"Promise me you'll think about what you want," he continued.

"I promise," she vowed, her voice barely above a whisper. She remembered that ever since she met him, she had thought Damon was dangerous. She realized now that it had never been his leather jacket, his cruel smirk, his thinly veiled threats or his imposing posture. It had been his eyes. She had almost forgotten how remarkable they were. They were full of everything he felt. Sadness, pain, loss, passion. God knew how terrifying they could be when they were filled with anger. But right now there was no anger in them and still Elena was just as terrified. She remembered how she had felt when they had first met, when he had looked down at her sitting under a tree, when he had leaned in to kiss her cheek the night of the Founders' Ball, when they had danced. She remembered the tingles in her stomach and the flush on her skin. She also remembered how foolish she had felt every time. His eyes could switch from passionate to ice cold in a second. He could look at her curiously, intrigued even, and then turn around and dismiss her.

She knew how dangerous it was to accept what these eyes wanted to promise. She had sworn that she would never trust the look in them. She also knew that she would easily drown in them if she allowed herself to. Get lost in the icy shade of blue, get pulled into their depths, get tangled up in the whirlwind raging behind them and finally be dragged under. He wouldn't even have to try; she would only have to give in. She realized that she had never been afraid of what he might do to her, she was only afraid of what she might feel for him. She wasn't afraid of him, she was afraid of herself.

Suddenly her cellphone chimed and Elena jumped up, startled nearly to the point of a heart attack. She pulled it from her purse and quickly answered.

"Hello?" she said, surprised at how out of breath she was. Her heart was thumping loudly in her chest.

"Elena?" She recognized Jenna's voice. "Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital," she explained, wondering what time it might be.

"No, you're not," Jenna disputed.

"Uhm… yes I am," Elena persisted. What was her aunt on about?

"Elena, Mr. Fell just called me to ask where you were because you didn't show up for your appointment. So where are you?"

She dropped her head onto her knee that she had pulled up to her chest for balance. "I'm so sorry Jenna, I forgot. But I'm here. I'll go see him right away."

"Elena, what's going on?" Jenna asked, worry clear in her voice. It annoyed Elena. Just because she was hurt that didn't mean she had to constantly be taken care of.

"Nothing, Jenna. I just forgot. Something came up. I'll go right now." She knew her tone was harsh.

"Alright. Are you coming home right after?" Jenna questioned, sensing that further discussion made no sense at this point.

"Yeah, sure," Elena replied, before hanging up and turning around to Damon who was still sprawled out in the grass, his muscular arms folded behind his head, his shirt pulling tightly across his torso. "I gotta go," she announced regretfully.

* * *

><p><strong>Please drop me a review. You know how happy they make me :)<strong>


	17. Chapter 17 DECISIONS

_A/N: Hey guys! How's everyone doing? I'm back from my vacation and I'm packing a new chapter :) It's another one about feelings, but as of chapter 18 we'll get back to stuff actually happening. How does that sound? ;) Big big thanks to everyone who's reading this and/or even reviewing! Hearing your thoughts makes my day! So thanks to each and every one of you who takes the time. It means the world to me! Thanks is as always due to my dear friend Ny who helps me work out the kinks and keeps me sane and to the lovely Jenn who so patiently keeps up with my impatience. 3 you gals! I don't own the Vampire Diaries, although, to be fair, it does take me about as long as it takes the show to get these two together, amiright? Okay, enough with the talking, here we go!_

* * *

><p><strong>17. DECISIONS<strong>

"_It's always something else, and it's always something more..."  
>- <em>Paul Auster, "Hand to Mouth: A Chronicle of Early Failure"

She pushed through the heavy glass doors again, but this time the room wasn't empty. Sam was sitting on the stretcher by the wall and going through files. As she stepped into the gym, he looked up, a mixture of gladness and disappointment on his features.

"Hey," she started, feeling the need to somehow overcome the awkward silence. "I'm so sorry I'm late. Something came up. It won't happen again."

"Don't worry," Sam said warmly, shrugging her apology off. "I wasn't sure if maybe you didn't come because I made you uncomfortable." He looked to the ground somewhat timidly. "That wasn't my intention. I'm sorry if I…"

"No, no," Elena jumped in, feeling the inexplicable need to reassure him. "It wasn't… that," she rushed on. "Just my friend, Damon, he can see again. He couldn't see after the accident and… I had to see him." She was well aware she sounded like an illiterate moron, but the words just tumbled hastily out of her mouth before she could give them the desired polish. Justifying herself felt more important than well-formed prose.

"Your non-boyfriend Damon?" he asked, with a resigned smile.

"Yes, but…" Elena began, but she didn't know how to finish. She didn't have the energy to fight, unsure of what exactly she was fighting for or against.

"I shouldn't have pushed it," Sam relented. "I'm sorry. I just… I kind of felt like we hit it off and you're just… you seem so nice and genuine. And you're beautiful and I… it felt nice to have a connection with someone here. So I just thought I'd give it a shot. But I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or… invade something."

"That's not…" Elena still struggled to find the right words, to dig herself out of the pile of questions and emotions weighing down on her. And then, with a flash of clarity, a decision came to her and she suddenly knew exactly what she had to do. "No," she started, a confident smile on her face. "Let's do it. Let's go see a movie."

"Really?" Sam seemed surprised, but Elena was certain now.

"Yeah," she nodded with determination. "I'd love to. How about Saturday?"

"Saturday sounds perfect," Sam agreed, a glad smile on his face. "Well then, let's get started on your leg."

* * *

><p>Bonnie bounded down the stairs merrily. Her dad was out of town for a few days and she was currently speaking to Jeremy on the phone, making plans for him to come over to her house later that night. She only heard the knock on the door because she was passing by it on her way to the kitchen to make some tea. Tucking her phone in between her shoulder and her ear and telling her boyfriend to hold on, she opened the door widely, an equally wide smile on her face. It quickly changed to a look of surprise when she found herself faced with a manic-looking Elena.<p>

"Hey, I'll have to call you back," she said into the phone before quickly clicking it shut. "Elena. Hey," she greeted her friend, beckoning her to enter by opening the door wider and welcoming her with a warm hug. "Good to see you. What brings you here?"

"I'm going out with Sam," her friend blurted out while hopping past her on her crutches and heading straight for the kitchen.

"Uhm... okay. That's… a surprise?" Bonnie tried to let her mind catch up while she closed the door and following Elena, who was already infusing the tea with the water that Bonnie had had boiling on the stove.

"Right?" she returned, as she gestured frantically with her free hand, standing awkwardly because she was trying not to drop her crutch at the same time.

"What brought this sudden eagerness about?" Bonnie asked, getting cups from a shelf and sitting down at the table. She hoped her agitated friend would do the same.

"I just realized that Caroline's right. He's nice and stable and we would fit well together, so I said yes."

Bonnie watched her friend carefully. She knew her well, probably better than anyone else in the world, definitely longer than anyone else, and right now she was too wired to simply have come to an agreeable conclusion. There was more and Bonnie was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"So, tell me," she started, watching Elena's reaction vigilantly. "What exactly is it about him that you like?"

Elena looked back at her, completely puzzled. "I just told you," she answered impatiently. "He's nice. And stable."

"Since when is that enough to qualify as Elena Gilbert dreamboat material?" Bonnie scoffed incredulously. "At least that Kyle kid you were crushing on freshman year played the guitar."

"Being nice and stable are better dreamboat qualifications than playing the guitar," Elena pouted.

"No argument here. What I'm saying is I guess I don't see how this guy is different from all the other nice and stable guys out there. If you wanted nice and stable you could have stayed with Matt."

Elena huffed as if in annoyance, but Bonnie knew her friend well enough to understand that it was a cornered huff – one that Elena only squeezed out when she was hard-pushed to explain herself.

"He's compassionate," Elena tried, but only half-heartedly.

"Okay," Bonnie accepted, waiting for her to go on. She knew she wouldn't have to push Elena very hard. Her friend was obviously already aware of her patchy reasoning herself.

"It sure beats being un-nice and unstable," she mumbled.

"You don't actually want to go on a date with Sam, do you?" Bonnie deduced. "You want to run from someone else."

Elena looked at her friend with pained eyes. She hated that Bonnie knew her so well. Then again, this was why she had come here, wasn't it? She needed her friend's confirmation that what she was doing was the right thing.

"And it's not Stefan, is it?" Bonnie ventured on, her eyes never leaving Elena's, who only shook her head in response.

"Wanna sit down and talk to me about it?" Bonnie offered and pulled the chair closest to Elena a few inches away from the table. Elena sighed and dropped herself into the chair. She didn't, however, start to speak right away. Instead she stared into the cup of tea she was nursing in her hands.

"I promise not to judge," Bonnie encouraged, which only gained her a disbelieving look from her friend. "Fine. I'll promise not to judge a lot," she conceded with a small smile.

Elena still looked uncomfortable, but she finally started to speak. "I think I might have a little crush on Damon," she admitted in a small voice. She held her breath as she waited for a response from her friend.

"I know," Bonnie only affirmed, calmly waiting for more information.

"What do you mean 'you know'?" Elena questioned, her eyes shooting up in horrified surprise.

"Well, you're my best friend Elena, and you're being a little obvious," Bonnie explained.

"How am I being obvious?" Elena gasped.

"You go see him all the time," Bonnie stated. "And you defended him to Caroline."

"He doesn't have anyone else, Bonnie. I'm the only friend he has here," Elena debated, but Bonnie only rolled her eyes and waved her off.

"That's what you keep telling us. And yourself, obviously. But it's not all there is to it, is it?"

Elena pressed her lips together crossly but gave up disputing her friend. "I know it's wrong, okay?" she spat, staring back into her tea.

"Why is it wrong?" Bonnie asked and while Elena could only assume this question was meant to be rhetorical, she found only earnest interest in her friend's eyes.

"I can't," she simply explained, shrugging helplessly. "After everything he's done. To Caroline, to Stefan."

"So why do you like him, then?" Bonnie continued. Her quest for the truth was making Elena increasingly uncomfortable.

"I don't know, he's…" Elena paused, looking for the right words.

"Hot?" Bonnie provided with a smirk.

"Not the word I was looking for," Elena scoffed but the slight blush creeping across her cheeks told Bonnie that her friend still agreed with the sentiment. "No, he's… there's a different side to him that he doesn't show people."

"But he shows it to you?" Bonnie asked.

"Sometimes," Elena said quietly. "Parts of it." She looked at Bonnie pleadingly, wanting this conversation to be over, but knowing full well that she had brought this on herself.

"Like what?"

Elena looked at her friend and couldn't help but give her a small smile. She knew Bonnie didn't like Damon but she had to give her credit for being open-minded about what Elena felt for him.

"Like… he doesn't care for a lot of people, but the few that are important to him, he cares for deeply. And he has all this anger inside him, but I think he really wants to be happy, he has just lost hope. I think he just feels lost. He lost his mother, then his father, then his girlfriend and now his brother. He's alone and I think he hates it and also blames himself for it, which makes it even worse. I just wish he could find hope again. I think he was a very different person before all this happened. An amazing person."

She paused and met Bonnie's eyes. Her friend was smiling at her sympathetically.

"He wants to be a veterinarian," Elena concluded, unable to hide her own small grin playing around her lips.

"And vets can't be bad people?" Bonnie asked.

"Yes they can. But I think deep down, Damon really isn't," Elena answered.

Bonnie sighed and looked at her friend ponderingly. "Well, I don't know if he is or if he isn't," she finally stated. "But I do know that you just gave me a lot more reasons for liking Damon than you could for liking Sam. So what does that tell you?"

"That I'm in trouble," Elena sighed and let her head drop to the table.

"And does he like you?" Bonnie asked.

For a while Elena was quiet, then her voice reached Bonnie's ears, muffled by the table she was resting on and by her hair falling down around her. "I don't think so," she admitted. "I don't know. But it doesn't matter. I can't like him, Bonnie. Not after what he did to Caroline. That's why I have to go out with Sam. I need to understand that Damon's very wrong for me and that Sam's very right."

"Sounds to me like you already understand that," Bonnie mused.

"Then I need to feel it, too. What my brain knows obviously doesn't immediately impact what I'm feeling." Elena noticed Bonnie watching her thoughtfully. "Why are you suddenly Team Damon?" she questioned, confused.

"Believe me, I'm not," Bonnie replied immediately. "The sooner he leaves, the better. I'm just not one-hundred-percent convinced that you're going out with Sam for the right reasons. Doing it only because you want to suppress your feelings for someone else isn't fair."

"That's not what I'm doing," Elena mumbled defensively.

"How is this gonna end though?" Bonnie questioned carefully. "Does Sam even stand a fighting chance? Or is he already doomed to have his heart broken?"

"Of course he stands a chance!" Elena exclaimed, shooting up from the table. "I want to want him, Bonnie. How much more of a chance can someone get?"

"To actually be wanted would be more of a chance," Bonnie suggested.

"I will," Elena said with determination. "Why shouldn't I? He's hot, he's fun, he's sweet…"

"Well, all this already sounds much better," Bonnie agreed with a smile. "Just make sure you don't break his heart only because you are afraid of your own."

Elena was just about to respond, when suddenly her cellphone chimed. When she fished it out of her bag, she saw Caroline's name flash across the screen.

"Hey Car," she answered, throwing Bonnie an apologetic look.

"Elena, hey, where are you?" Her friend's voice sounded uncharacteristically somber.

"I'm at Bonnie's. What's going on?" she questioned.

"My mom just told me and I thought you'd want to know…" Caroline trailed off.

"Want to know what?" Elena asked, getting more and more worried.

"They're moving Stefan. He's being transferred to jail the day after tomorrow," Caroline finally announced.

Elena needed a second to process this information. "Um, okay, thanks Car," she finally said, not sure what to do next.

"Are you okay, Elena?" Caroline asked, concern lacing every word.

"Yeah, no. Fine. Thanks for telling me," Elena tried to reassure her friend but even if her voice didn't alarm Caroline, the spooked look on her face let Bonnie know that something was wrong.

"Okay. Well, I just thought you should know. If you want to talk or something, call me. And I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow," Elena replied before she hung up.

"What's going on?" Bonnie asked, watching her friend nervously.

"They're transferring Stefan to jail the day after tomorrow," Elena explained, still sitting motionless at the table.

Bonnie saw the look of incapacitating shock on her friend's face. "You know he deserves to go to jail, right?" she asked, eyeing her warily. "He nearly killed you."

"I know," Elena nodded, slowly working her way out of her trance. "But Damon's going to be devastated." Her big brown eyes looked up at Bonnie whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You need to take me to the hospital," Elena decided.

"Now?" Bonnie asked, astonished.

"Yes, now!" Elena insisted with determination, already getting up off her chair.

"Really? After this entire talk we just had, you want me to take you to see Damon – right now?" Bonnie asked again.

"Yes." Elena confirmed, looking at her friend questioningly. "What?"

"You don't think someone will tell him at some point? The police, maybe? It has to be you? And it has to be right now?" Bonnie questioned.

Elena sighed and dropped her shoulders, contemplating this for a second before she looked at her friend again with newfound purpose. "Bonnie, either you drive me to the hospital right now or I'm faking a seizure and having an ambulance take me."

Bonnie rolled her eyes in exasperation, but grabbed her keys and headed outside without another word. They drove to the hospital in relative silence and Elena knew that they had reached the part of their conversation where Bonnie was judging her, even if it wasn't a lot.

"I'll wait out here," she finally said when they reached their destination and pulled out her phone to start texting – presumably Jeremy about his insufferable sister – before Elena could reply. So she just stepped out of the car with a sigh and made her way to Damon's room – for the second time that day.

* * *

><p>"Hey there," Damon said, as soon as Elena entered the room.<p>

"Hey," she returned, trying not to think about how much weaker in the knees his smile made her, now that it was accompanied by the twinkle in his unfairly blue eyes.

"Miss me already?" he teased, making her roll her own eyes.

"I see your current predicament has done nothing to quell your arrogance," she responded, before scooting onto the bed. He just chuckled lightly and moved to make room. When he saw her face suddenly turn serious, the playful mood subsided instantly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, studying her warily.

"Caroline just called me with some not-so-good news," she began.

"That sounds ominous." He settled further into his pillow.

"They're transferring Stefan to jail the day after tomorrow," Elena rushed out, watching Damon carefully and gauging his reaction.

He blinked once, as if the information needed a second to register, before dropping his gaze to the sheet spread across his legs to contemplate this new development. Elena waited nervously for his reaction. The last time they had discussed this possibility, he had pretty much panicked. Only the argument that this day was far off had calmed him. He didn't seem panicked now, however, he seemed pensive.

"I need to call Giuseppe," he finally said, lifting tired but focused eyes to hers. "Our father. I need to call him. I'm sure Stefan hasn't, but he needs his help."

"But if Stefan doesn't want his help…" Elena began, but was immediately cut short.

"He doesn't want his help because he thinks he deserves this for hurting you," Damon argued.

Elena dropped her eyes, not sure what to say. This was probably true. That didn't mean that she necessarily disagreed with the sentiment that Stefan deserved to go to jail for what he did.

"I know he hurt you, Elena. And I'm sorry. I am."

He was going to say more, but Elena interrupted. "He hurt you too," she reasoned.

"I know." He nodded, looking at her imploringly. "But it's my fault."

"That he crashed into your car?" Elena looked at him with confusion now.

"Yes. All of it. I pushed his buttons."

"That doesn't mean… you couldn't have known, Damon. Wanting to kill someone is not a normal reaction to having your buttons pushed." She looked at him with wide eyes, wanting to make him see that he could blame himself for all the horrible things he'd done, but that wouldn't change the fact that his brother deserved what was coming to him.

"But I did know," he claimed, his expression determined. "I know my brother better than anyone. I know what he's capable of. I know his dark side. He hides it. So well. Even from himself. Fights it all the time. He wants to be the good guy. And he succeeds. Almost always. But deep down, he is capable of doing incredible damage. I know that side of him. I knew if I only pushed hard enough, he would snap. I wanted him to."

Elena stared at him with big eyes, unsure of how to react. She wanted to defend Stefan, wanted to tell Damon he had to be wrong, but she was afraid he might not be and unsure of what that said about each of the brothers.

"This wasn't the first time I went after my brother since the accident, Elena. It wasn't even the first time I got him arrested. It was just the first time he fought back. You simply got caught in the crossfire. And I'm sorry you did. I really am. But I can't let him go to prison. Not for this. I'm as much to blame as he is. I made this happen – I wanted it to."

Elena swallowed, still unsure of what to say, of what to think. "Okay," she breathed, slowly moving to get up.

"Hey." He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, holding it in both of his. "I really am sorry, Elena. You shouldn't be a part of this. It's not fair. It was unfair of him to come here and it was unfair of me to get you involved in our mess."

"Life isn't fair, Damon. I know that. I don't need it to be fair," she said bluntly. "But I need to know it will get better. If what you say about Stefan is true, then I need to know that he is not going to hurt me or you again if he isn't convicted. I need to know that you're not going to piss him off again. I need to know that what you told me about wanting his forgiveness is true, that you're not just thinking it because in here you're floating around in a cocoon of self-awareness. I need to know you're being honest and that neither of you is going to hurt my friends. I can live with life being unfair. But I can't live with watching you two go down that mutually destructive spiral you're on again."

He looked down at their entwined hands before reconnecting his eyes with hers. She was well aware that she wanted to believe him, that she wanted him to be honest with her, and that maybe she was only seeing what she wanted to see, but when he looked at her, sadness and honesty was all she found in his eyes.

"He's not a bad guy, Elena. He will never hurt you again. He never would have if it weren't for me. He's just in a bad place right now." He saw her nod tiredly. "And I know what I did was wrong. It won't happen again."

"You know that he's hurt me, regardless of your involvement, right? The physical injuries aren't even the biggest part of how he wounded me. Not telling me about Katherine and making me want to believe in something that wasn't real – that's what hurt the most. And that was his choice, Damon. You had nothing to do with it. All of his actions are his own. You can feel guilty for all the things that you did – and God knows you did enough that you can feel guilty about – but your actions and your intent don't absolve him from what he did. He is his own person and he makes his own choices."

Damon dropped his eyes from her face.

"If you want to prevent a conviction, I will help you. But not because I believe he's innocent, but because I believe it will help him more to rebuild his relationship with you than it would to sit in prison and marinate in his guilt over hurting me. And because I believe that losing him would probably send you down another dark path and we all wouldn't want that."

He raised his eyes to her in quiet thanks and was met with a small smirk. "Where did you even come from, little Miss?" he asked playfully.

Elena only shrugged. "I've always been right here."

Before he could reply, she disentangled their hands and stood up. She needed to go home and get her mind off things. At the door, she turned around one last time. "You know, what you said about Stefan, that he's not really a bad guy – that's true about you as well. I think sometimes you forget that." And with those words she left.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Oh goodie! Please let me know what you think :) Also, if you wanna talk to me in person, I'd be more than happy to chat with you! Come find me on Twitter: ceruleanvixen**_

_**Thanks, you lovely people! xoxo**_


	18. Chapter 18 DADDY ISSUES

_A/N: Alright, here's an update :) This one was tough. I didn't end this chapter where I wanted to end it but it was just getting too long. I'm trying to move this story along but it's not playing ball. lol. So someone new's coming to town. Let me know what you think :) As always, TVD and all that stuff doesn't belong to me, but so far I'm liking what they're doing with season 4._

* * *

><p><strong>18. DADDY ISSUES<strong>

Though some may disagree, there are those who think that the best part of a first date is rehashing it the morning after with your girlfriends. And without delving into the details of the whys of it all, it shall just be stated here, that this was the case for Elena, as she sat on Caroline's bed on the morning after her date with Sam and told her two best friends about her Saturday night – as if her friends' giggles were necessary in order to validate her date's success.

It had been a good first date. Exactly what a first date should be, full of newfound commonalities, shared interests, simultaneously started sentences followed by bashful smiles and you-go-firsts, perfectly situated in the drive-in movie theater that allowed for talking during the film and covering for awkward pauses by watching the screen, all topped off with almost accidental touches and finally a short but sweet good night kiss on her porch.

Caroline and Bonnie had delightedly squealed and swooned at any little gesture Elena could conjure up in her memory and by now they had also extensively analyzed every last thing Sam had said and come to the conclusion that he did in fact like Elena – a fact that seemed to make no one happier than Caroline.

"You deserve something good in your life. You deserve some happiness!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her friend's neck.

Elena smiled. She was happy. And relieved that she had taken her friend's advice and gone on the date. It was exactly what she needed right now. It was simple, it was uncomplicated, it was a guy who liked her and hadn't previously been in love with her twin sister. It was a way to get back to the Elena she had been before all this happened – to carefree Elena, maybe even to fun Elena.

Plus, a good date meant that chances for a happily ever after with Mr. Fell were steadily increasing, which meant she needed to be less worried about anything she might have felt for the elder Salvatore. She wasn't one to be fawning over two guys at the same time. The fact that she had barely thought about Damon at all during her date was obvious proof of that. This positive development meant she could simply grab her book and pay him a check-up visit without needing to worry about what it might mean. Which was exactly what Elena planned on doing as soon as her friends had abandoned her to spend Sunday afternoon with their significant others.

* * *

><p>Before she had even reached Damon's door, Elena could already hear the yelling. The loud voice she had never heard before stopped her right in her tracks.<p>

"This is not 'in trouble', Damon! This is a God damn catastrophe! Why am I only hearing about this now?" the dark male voice boomed through the walls. Elena advanced to the door and rested her ear against it. She was snooping, she knew, and it was not a lady-like thing to do. But she really could care less right now about the impression a passing patient might have of her.

"I told Stefan to call you earlier, he obviously didn't want to," she heard Damon reply defiantly.

"Then you should have called me. You should have called me the minute you fucking woke up!" the other voice exclaimed angrily. So that was their father – Elena deduced.

"I couldn't fucking see!" Damon returned, anger now lacing his voice as well.

"I'm sure you could have told someone from the hospital to call me. Your mouth hasn't failed you yet."

"Look, Stefan and I are both adults. We didn't need you to sit by our bedside. And I honestly didn't think Stefan would go through with it without consulting with your attorneys. I called you as soon as I figured it was necessary," Damon explained, trying to sound calm.

"As soon as you figured it was necessary?" the other voice roared with indignation. "You called me when you realized you couldn't dig yourself out of the mess you put yourself in. You're not an adult, you self-important little prick! You play adult until you fuck it up and then you come to me for help."

"I don't give a fuck about your help!" Damon shot back, making Elena jump. "You could have breezed in and out of town without sparing me a second of your time for all I care. Stefan's in jail. And this time he put himself there all on his own. So you can either help him or get the fuck out of our lives but you sure as hell don't get to lecture me."

"You're here, Damon, which means you're involved. Don't feed me any crap about Stefan being responsible for this. It reeks of another one of your fuck-ups."

Elena figured this reunion had gone on long enough. Without knocking, she opened the door just as Damon was responding: "Just go and see Stefan…" he interrupted himself and looked up at her as she stepped into the room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his legs hanging from the side, supporting his weight with his arms. She suspected that his ribs had to be rather uncomfortable but the position probably gave him a feeling of control that would have been missing had he lain back against the cushions to get yelled at. The man whose voice she had heard through the door stood next to him menacingly and slowly turned around at her intrusion. He looked about the same height as his sons but since Damon was sitting, his father was now towering over him. He had sandy hair the same color as Stefan, the same strong jaw as well, and blue eyes, though several shades darker than Damon's. He must have once been a handsome man with his broad shoulders and a commanding stance. But angry lines were pulling down the corners of his mouth and creasing his forehead, making him look upon the world with a rejecting annoyance that made you want to immediately flee his presence. When his eyes fell upon Elena, his expression hardened.

"Katherine?" he whispered, as if seeing a ghost.

"No, I'm…" Elena started, letting the sentence trail off, intimidated by his enraged expression. Her courage caught up with her after a second, however, and she took a few purposeful steps towards him, extending her hand while introducing herself. "Elena. Gilbert. I'm Katherine's sister."

Giuseppe didn't shake her hand, nor did he introduce himself. "What are you doing here?" he asked instead, his voice calm and toneless, his eyes boring into Elena menacingly.

"In the hospital?" she asked, unsure of how to reply. Her unshaken hand dropped down next to her, her eyes snapped over to Damon's, hoping for a sign or an instruction but he only shook his head apprehensively.

"In this godforsaken nest!" Giuseppe exclaimed. Elena jerked her head up at his harsh voice. Who was this man, yelling at her during their first meeting? "Where did you come from all of a sudden?"

"I live here," Elena explained weakly, still not sure what it was he wanted to hear.

He turned his head slowly towards Damon, who was awaiting his father's reaction with defeated resignation.

"Are you kidding me?" the older man roared, his fury entirely directed at his son. "A sister. This is why you're here?" Damon shook his head but more in annoyance than in negation of his father's statement. "How fucking sick are you?" he concluded berating his son.

Elena's eyes widened in shock. She turned her head back to Damon, awaiting some sort of retort or explanation from him but he just sat there in silence. She finally decided to speak herself: "Sir, that's not wh…"

"Drop it, Elena," Damon interrupted her to her astonishment. "Stay out of it."

"But…" she started once more, only to be cut short again, this time by Giuseppe.

"Listen. Miss Gilbert, is it?" She nodded dutifully. "I'm sure you're a sweet girl. And I'm sorry you have somehow been tangled up in this mess. The best thing I can do for you is to give you some words of advice. Go home. And don't come back. Stay as far away from this one as you can." He pointed towards Damon without taking his eyes from her. Then, without another word, he brushed past her and headed for the door. With the doorknob in hand, he turned around one last time. "Do you have a message for your brother?" he asked, looking at Damon tiredly.

"Don't strain yourself," he responded and sat still until the door fell shut. Elena saw the tension leave his frame slowly as his father's steps faded down the corridor.

"What just happened?" she asked, still shaken by the encounter.

"You just met Giuseppe Salvatore. Lucky you," he replied with a weary smile.

Elena sat down next to Damon on the bed and for a moment she didn't say anything. She couldn't imagine having an argument like that with her own father and not crumbling into pieces. She had loved him. He had been her hero and she had been his princess. If he had ever looked at her with that amount of contempt, she would have died.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, not wanting Damon to retreat behind the walls he so successfully put up all around him whenever he tried to escape a situation. To her surprise, he only huffed a small laugh before slowly moving back up towards the headrest of his bed.

"Don't worry," he said with a resigned smirk on his face. "This was not the worst fight we've had. It probably wouldn't even make the top ten." Elena looked at him in bewilderment as he sank back against his cushions.

"But… what he said was…" Elena was interrupted right away.

"What? Hurtful? Please, he wasn't even warmed up."

"It was wrong. It wasn't true. Why didn't you tell him?" she argued.

"There's no love lost between my father and I, Elena. Nothing's gonna change that. He can think of me what he wants. I don't care."

"But Stefan was the one who came for me," she tried again, unable to accept that he would let his father blame him for something he hadn't done.

"And did you see how much Giuseppe didn't like that idea? Stefan doesn't need him to look at him that way."

"So you let him think it was you? Wh…" Elena didn't even know what to ask him, she was so baffled.

"Giuseppe and I already don't have a relationship. If Stefan can have one with him, good for him," Damon said dismissively.

"Maybe you could too, if you actually talked to him and explained some stuff," Elena argued.

"Unlikely," he said with a small shrug.

"Why? He's your father." Elena couldn't comprehend how a relationship between father and son could end up this hopeless.

"He's not really my father," Damon explained and looked at her carefully, trying to gauge her reaction.

"What?" All the fight had suddenly gone out of Elena. She sagged down on the side of his bed and gaped at him.

"My mom had an affair." Elena's eyes softened. "Don't look at me like that," he warned, shaking his head slightly. "I've been over it for years now. I'm not upset by it and I don't need anyone else to be."

"Okay." Elena tried to reign in her features. The similarities between Giuseppe and Stefan and the lack thereof between the brothers now made more sense. Both Stefan and his father had the same strong forehead and squared jaw.

"Just don't tell Stefan, okay?" he asked, looking at her determinedly.

"He doesn't know?" Damon shook his head. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"Apparently my mom didn't want us to know. She didn't want it to matter. It doesn't to me." Damon dropped his gaze from Elena's. Only after a while did she realize what he wasn't saying.

"I don't think it would matter to him either," she said, letting her hand rest on his reassuringly.

"Not anymore," he said, chuckling darkly.

"How did you find out then?" Elena asked, not wanting to delve back into the brothers' complicated relationship. One estranged family member was enough to tackle for the moment.

"He told me. The day mom died. We got into an argument and he told me."

Elena felt pain pull at her heart. Two blows dealt in one day. She couldn't even imagine. "That was unfair of him," she said sadly.

"I was actually relieved," Damon replied, taking her completely by surprise. He must have seen it on her face because a small smile broke out on his lips as he went on to explain: "It's easier to accept that someone hates you when you know they have a reason to."

* * *

><p>The next days passed with less commotion. Elena saw Sam almost on a daily basis, mostly after he was done with work. She liked picking him up from the hospital because it gave her the opportunity to stop by Damon's room and see how he was doing.<p>

She had thought about paying a visit to Stefan as well. He also had no one else. She assumed that lawyers didn't make for the best company. In addition to that, she felt like there was still so much that they hadn't talked about, so many questions she still had. So far, she had been preoccupied with the emotional questions, with the hurtful idea of being a replacement for someone else. The uncertainty of his feelings for her and as a result the uncertainty of her feelings for him had made it impossible for her to delve deeper into other aspects of the accident. But she had gotten her answers, or at least drawn her conclusions, and she had been able to move on. While the idea of Katherine still pained her, her anger towards Stefan over the emotional injuries had faded. She knew that people were capable of horrific things when grieving. She had seen her brother spiral into a drug abuse problem and was pretty sure she had no one but Bonnie to thank for his currently more positive outlook on life. She herself had almost been driven insane by the crushing and incapacitating pain of losing her parents. She was still pained that Stefan hurt her in the process, but she could understand that he would try to do anything in his power to get through the agony. Now that her head was cleared of the emotional blockade, other questions began to fill it. Questions about how he had ended up on that road in the first place. How had he known where they would be? And why had he intended to kill them? She wondered if the Sheriff's assumed motive of jealousy was enough to induce him to attempt murder. But, since his move to jail, visiting rights had only been granted to his attorneys. Caroline had told Elena that even Giuseppe was talking to his son only through them. So for the time being, she would not get any answers to her questions.

Dating Sam was easy. Conversation with him was easy, holding his hand was easy, discouraging any further advances was easy too. He was gentle and understanding. And a surprisingly good kisser. He fell in with her group of friends well and Elena was glad she finally had someone she could take with her when she hung out with her coupled-up friends. She liked him for being considerate, she liked him for being liked by her friends and she definitely liked him for his dimples.

Nearly a week had gone by since the day Elena had met Giuseppe Salvatore and she had gotten into a comfortable routine. Drama seemed to have given her a breather and she was beginning to feel like the old Elena again, at least from time to time. Only rarely did a strange sense of uneasiness overcome her when she was at the movies with Sam or having dinner with her friends and she was never quite able to place it.

That was why, when she opened the door on Friday evening, she was shocked to find Stefan's and Damon's father on her doorstep. She had been waiting for Bonnie and Caroline to pick her up. They were supposed to be leaving for their annual ladies' weekend up at the lake house and Elena had been sitting on her packed suitcases for fifteen minutes already, waiting for her friends. Now, instead of her friends, she was looking at Giuseppe Salvatore on her porch.

"Miss Gilbert," he said by way of a greeting but didn't venture any further.

"Mr. Salvatore," she answered, waiting for him to continue. Then, remembering her good manners, she stepped aside slightly and opened the door wider. "Would you like to come in?"

"No, thank you," he refused with a friendly smile. "This won't take long."

"How can I help you?" she asked, still apprehensive.

"I have by now gathered all the information I could on the matter concerning my sons and you," he began, making Elena no less uneasy. "And I felt I had to apologize. On their behalf. I'm fuzzy on the details, but I understand you have been unknowingly involved in their fallout after Katherine's accident and I wanted to make sure that you and the others that were harmed in the wake of these unfortunate events haven't suffered any lasting injuries – physical or other."

Elena stared at him in bewilderment for a second. She couldn't figure this man out. He hadn't seemed overly concerned with her well-being before. Certainly not enough to seek her out to apologize to her. "Everything's fine," she reassured him tentatively.

"No hard feelings towards either of my boys?" he asked, almost jovially.

"No," Elena assured.

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. Now, as I understand it, Stefan has confessed to attempted voluntary manslaughter and both yours and Damon's testimony are supporting that claim," he continued immediately.

"Um, yes," Elena responded, not sure where exactly this conversation was going. He sounded much too hypothetical in his assessment of the situation.

"Alright now, are you sure that that is actually what happened? That Damon was trying to move out of the way and that was why you were in the wrong lane and that it was Stefan's intent to hit your car with his?" Giuseppe questioned, looking more serious than ever.

"Yes," Elena confirmed in a small voice, now thoroughly confused.

"Because I seem to have come to understand that Damon would be willing to change his testimony should Stefan retract his confession." His eyes sparkled almost angrily at her.

Elena blinked, completely lost. "What? Why…"

"See, Damon would admit that he was tired and had veered onto the wrong lane and accidentally hit his brother's car. Stefan would agree and he could go free. Free to finish his school and come home with me. Neither of the boys would bother you again. The only thing standing in the way would be your testimony." He looked at her both menacingly and encouragingly now.

"You want me to change my testimony?" Elena asked, baffled.

"I think it would be best for everybody," Giuseppe agreed with a single nod.

"And then what? It all just goes away?" Elena mulled it over in her head. If that was the case, she was sure Damon was jumping at it. The only thing making her hesitate was the fact that she would have to give false testimony.

"Basically, yes," Giuseppe confirmed. "Can we count on your cooperation?"

"What do you mean 'basically yes'?" He looked at her through narrowed eyes, as if deciding what exactly to tell her. But he didn't have to. His hesitation told her everything she needed to know. She swallowed, gathering up the courage to confront him. "Damon would confess to something right? What would he confess to?"

"Negligence."

"Negligence?" Elena eyed him skeptically.

He heaved a sigh of defeat. "Negligent vehicular assault. It shouldn't get him more than a year."

Elena's heart dropped in her chest. A year… "What do you mean it shouldn't?" she asked, her voice surprisingly stronger than she expected it to be.

"It depends on how severe the judge deems the injuries to be. If the accident causes serious bodily injury, it can be up to ten years. But come on, you're all walking around and practically as good as new. I doubt he'll even have to do one." Giuseppe had slipped back into his friendly father-tone which, combined with what he was saying, made her skin crawl.

"But he didn't do it. He would go to jail for something he didn't do," Elena persisted.

"Well, he's done enough," Giuseppe responded, his face and voice suddenly hard again. "One year won't do him any more harm than he would do to the rest of the world in that time."

"How can you say that?" Elena gasped, before she could stop herself.

"You've seen what he does!" Giuseppe suddenly roared. "Stefan told me what happened to your friend. Do you want that to happen to another innocent girl?"

Elena felt anger creep up inside of her. "He would never do that again. He's changed."

"Oh has he?" Giuseppe huffed, mockingly. "For you, I suppose? Don't be the naïve little girl that you look like, Miss Gilbert. Damon will never change. But you have the opportunity to give Stefan the chance to start over." He was leaning in, imploring her.

"I can't do that, Mr. Salvatore. It's wrong." She shook her head vehemently and pulled her cardigan closer around her like a defensive shield. "I will do whatever I can to help Stefan. I don't want him to go to prison. But I can't help you put his brother behind bars instead."

She saw him fuming. "He is willing to go, Miss Gilbert. I just need your testimony." Elena just shook her head in disgust. "Name me your fucking price and I will pay. I am rich, Miss Gilbert. What do you want? A new car? A fancy college education? I can do that for you. Just tell me what you want and it's yours."

Elena stared up at him in complete consternation, feeling tears of fury well up in her eyes. This conversation was over. There was nothing else she wanted to say to this man and there was surely nothing else she wanted to hear from him. She was about to simply close the door in his face when the building rage burst out of her in a sudden gush of words: "That is the most horrific proposition I have ever heard, Mr. Salvatore. I am sorry I can't help with your plan and I wish both your sons the best. They both deserve the chance to start over. But I will not be bribed with money to participate in your twisted rescue mission. I can't believe you would sacrifice one of your sons to help the other. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking me to play a part in this." He was staring at her, completely dumbfounded but obviously angry. She could feel the rage roll off of him – it was so thick she felt suffocated. "I guess at least now I know where your sons have their issues with rage from. Please don't ever come here again." And with that she closed the door.

Elena was too nervous to check and see if Giuseppe was still standing on her porch. She actually deadbolted the door and, afraid he might ring the doorbell or call for her, she ran up the stairs and rushed into her room, closing the door behind her. With shaky fingers – from rage, not fear – she fished her cell phone out of her purse. She didn't have time to go see Damon before leaving, but she did have to talk to him.

"Hello beautiful, what can I do for you?" his velvety voice reached through the phone and caressed her ear. But she was not in the mood for flirtatious banter right now.

"What the hell, Damon?" she practically yelled into the phone.

"Whoa. What's going on?" He snapped to attention immediately.

"I just talked to your father is what's going on. What's wrong with you going along with that plan?"

"He came to you?" he asked, clearly irritated.

"Yes he did," she confirmed. "And what the hell is wrong with you agreeing to take the blame? I can't believe you. It won't work anyways." Elena knew she sounded desperate. "Who would believe you now, after everything? I'm sure they can like… tell from the tire tracks on the road. Stefan smashed into your car head-on when you turned. How does that fit this new story? No one will buy it!"

"Elena…"

"No, Damon. I'm not doing it. All it will do is make us guilty of perjury. I won't commit a felony so you can clear your conscience by going to jail. Don't you see how ridiculous this is?"

"Elena…"

"We can help Stefan in some other way. We'll go talk to Sheriff Forbes and tell her to drop the charges. We'll tell her we won't testify or something. Please, Damon." She knew she was begging but she couldn't bring herself to leave for the weekend without the reassurance that he wouldn't do anything stupid while she was gone.

"Elena," Damon started again, finally getting a word in between her ranting. "I didn't agree to going to prison for Stefan. I promised Giuseppe I'd talk to his lawyers about options. That's all. I can't believe he went to see you. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just…" she wasn't fine. She was freaked out. In that moment she heard Caroline honk outside her house. "I gotta go," she explained.

"Hey, don't worry, okay? We'll find a way," he reassured her.

"Okay," she said quietly. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid while I'm gone." She knew Damon could still do all sorts of dumb things while she was away, but she trusted him not to.

"I can't do that," he replied with a smirk. "But I can promise you not to throw myself into jail, how does that sound?" Elena couldn't help the small laugh that was bubbling up inside her. "Just enjoy your girls' weekend. You can go back to worrying about everybody else when you come back."

"Alright," she agreed, having to smile slightly. "I'll see you Monday." She cut the connection and headed downstairs to join her friends.

* * *

><p>Girls' weekends at the lake house were a time-honored tradition. Usually they went at the end of summer, but due to Elena's physical incapacitation, it had been postponed this year and by the time they had finally been able to agree on a date, the first leaves had already started to turn beautiful shades of red, orange and yellow. Elena watched the landscape outside pass them by, marveling at how the colors were enhanced by the golden light of the setting sun. Damon would love this, she thought, being able to see again and all.<p>

She was actually looking forward to their little ladies' getaway. Yes, things with Sam were going well, but a little breather couldn't hurt. Seeing him every day was exhausting her a little. And after all, distance makes the heart grow fonder. She was looking forward to missing him and happily reuniting with him after the trip.

They reached the lake house just as the world turned so far that the sun disappeared at the horizon. The little wooden house looked peaceful, almost melting into its surroundings as the dusk let colors fade away slowly. The lake lay completely still, its surface only disturbed by the light feet of water striders and the occasional fish coming up to catch one. Elena breathed in the clean air, taking in the moist scent on moss and reed and reveling in the quietness where all she could hear was a little wind, a slight rustling of trees and the far-away cry of a bird she couldn't place.

"Hey Elena, you coming in?" she heard Bonnie call from the porch and jerked out of her reverie to follow her friends inside. Caroline had marched upstairs to prepare the beds while Bonnie sat by the old-fashioned inglenook, lighting a warming fire. Elena busied herself by putting away the groceries until she was startled by her friend coming into the kitchen with a worried look.

"You okay?" Bonnie asked, eyeing Elena with concern.

"Yeah, fine," Elena replied with a smile. "Why?"

"You seemed kind of… upset when we picked you up. And you haven't said much during the drive."

"It's nothing," Elena assured with a smile but seeing the skeptical look on Bonnie's face, she finally relented. "Fine. Damon's and Stefan's father came by just before you guys picked me up. He wants Damon to go to prison instead of Stefan and he asked me to help him."

"Help him how?" Bonnie asked, her eyes wide.

"By changing my testimony," Elena explained.

"But wh…" Bonnie wanted to continue to question but dropped the sentence and her eyes when Caroline walked into the room. The blonde couldn't help but notice the sudden shift and the dying down of a conversation.

"What are we talking about?" she asked jovially.

"Nothing," Elena responded quickly while Bonnie did everything she could to avoid either of her friends' eyes.

Caroline nodded quickly and took a deep breath. "So what, you two are keeping secrets from me now?" She tried to play it off by making her voice as light as possible but she was pretty sure she wasn't able to cover up the sting she had felt. The three of them had been best friends since elementary school and while she knew that Bonnie and Elena shared a somewhat deeper bond with each other than with her, she had never felt excluded until now.

"No, that's not…" Elena tried to argue but had to let her sentence trail off, not knowing what to say without making it sound like a lie. She didn't mean to exclude Caroline. But she knew that they would never see eye to eye on this topic and she wanted to avoid the conflict.

"It's not a secret," Bonnie explained. "It's just…" She had no idea how to explain it without being hurtful either.

Caroline took a deep breath. "Is this about Matt, Elena? Cause I asked you and you said it was fine."

"What? No." Elena responded right away. "No, you and Matt, that's great. I'm happy for you." Caroline gave her a small smile of relief. "No, it's about Damon."

Caroline scrunched her nose in disgust. "Ugh that guy." She looked up at Elena and saw the trepidation in her eyes. "Look," she began, walking over to her friend to close the distance that separated them. "Obviously he's not my favorite person in the world. But I know you guys are like friends or something and I've accepted it." Elena's face changed from worried to surprised. "You brought me cake, I forgave you, remember?"

"Well, I still didn't think you'd want to talk about him," Elena mumbled.

"I don't," Caroline confirmed. "But I want to be left out of your life even less."

Elena smiled a wide smile in relief. "Alright. No more secrets from you," she promised and the two came together in a tight embrace.

"Just so long as I'm allowed to share my thoughts," Caroline stated firmly while pulling away again.

"Share away," Elena allowed with a playful roll of her eyes.

"You can be friends or whatever. I get it. You got less hurt because of him; he's the only one who understands, yada yada yada. But don't trust him, Elena. He's charming. Believe me – I know. I'm not as dumb as guys think I am. But he's manipulative and he lies. I'm not saying he lies all the time but… he pretty much does lie all the time."

"I know he lied, Caroline. But you haven't talked to him since the accident," Elena tried to reason.

"Well, I talked to him enough before the accident, so…"

Elena sighed, but not in annoyance. She was glad her friends both accepted her friendship with Damon and she knew she wouldn't win either of them over to his side.

"All I'm saying is you're happy with Sam. Don't give up on that because some boy with pretty eyes makes you pretty promises."

"That's not… this is not about Damon," Elena clarified instantly. "This is about his father."

"His father?" Caroline looked confused now so the three of them sat down at the table and Elena related Giuseppe's plan and his attempt to get her involved. When she was finished, her friends looked equally appalled and flabbergasted, both absent-mindedly stirring the tee Bonnie had made while Elena had recounted her tale.

"Well," Caroline finally spoke. "Yet another Salvatore that I hate. Must run in the family."

* * *

><p>The weekend was exactly what the three of them needed. Girls' time again, away from all the drama. They sat by the fire, eating pasta that Bonnie had made, talking about boys. The fact that Caroline was dating Elena's ex and Bonnie was dating her brother was only mildly disturbing and only for about five minutes. Small towns like Mystic Falls were incestuous. If you wanted to meet new people, you'd be single until you went to college. They simply tried to avoid too much detail. But there was still enough to talk and giggle about. Plus, there was other people's gossip to be discussed as well. How Elena's aunt was dating her history teacher for example, or how Tyler might be hooking up with Matt's sister Vicki again. Elena was just glad the school's gossip focus had shifted away from her and the Salvatores.<p>

When they left again on Sunday, they felt refreshed and energized. Elena had resolved not to let the complications surrounding Stefan, Damon and their father drag her down. She knew what she wanted and what she thought was right and she now felt strong enough to stand by her beliefs, no matter how threatening Giuseppe might be.

Even physically, she felt stronger. They had taken relaxing strolls around the lake and Elena was getting better at putting weight on her broken leg. Inside the house, she was able to move around without her crutches and even if it was exhausting and sometimes still a little painful, the feeling of freedom and empowerment she got from leaving them behind was exhilarating.

That was why she was in an excellent mood when she knocked on Damon's door Monday afternoon when she stopped by the hospital after school. Her mood was however severely dimmed when she laid eyes on him. He smiled up at her, sitting upright and looking healthy enough, but his left eye was bruised.

"Welcome back," he exclaimed happily, laying the book he'd been reading aside.

"Oh my God what happened?" Elena exclaimed, not paying any attention to his greeting. Instead she dropped her crutches by his bed and immediately sat down right next to him so she could inspect his face.

"You should see the other guy," he smirked.

"Yeah, I'm sure the gauze around your broken fingers really scratched his delicate skin," Elena returned, moving his face with her hands so the light fell more directly onto the bruise and she could inspect it. Damon only huffed, annoyed at her remark. "Seriously, what happened?" she asked, her voice softer now.

"Giuseppe and I had a disagreement," he relented, swatting her hand away that was soothingly ghosting over the bruised skin under his eye.

"Your father hit you?" she asked incredulously.

"It was more an exchange of feelings," Damon returned to which she only rolled her eyes. "See he felt that I should do my family duty, suck it up and go to prison, since he felt that my future was already messed up anyways. And I felt that he was a dick. And then he felt like punching me." He gave her a smug smile.

"I can't believe…" Elena began but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She jolted up from the bed when Sam stepped into the room. By the look on his face she could tell that he was surprised to see her and taken aback at seeing her so close to another man. Dutifully, she stepped away from Damon who was watching her curiously.

"Mr. Salvatore," Sam started after regaining his bearings. "I'm Sam Fell. I'll be your physical therapist." He stretched out his hand and Damon shook it with a friendly smile on his face. "I'm here to evaluate your condition and see if you can be released."

"I like you already," Damon stated, his face lighting up at the news. Sam only gave a curt nod in return before turning to Elena.

"Hello Elena," he greeted.

"Hi Sam," She sounded and even felt guilty. She wasn't sure about what exactly, because she had come to the hospital to see him and had only stopped by Damon's room first to quickly check on him, but for some reason she felt like she had done something wrong.

"Could you wait outside while I examine Mr. Salvatore, please?" he asked briskly.

"She can stay," Damon offered. "Nothing she hasn't seen before."

"Jeez, Damon!" Elena exclaimed while hastily fumbling for crutches. She was blushing furiously.

"What? Don't be so prudish. He's not taking off my pants," Damon continued with a wink.

Sam didn't say a word but simply waited for Elena to leave. She could see his jaw ticking in annoyance. Damon, on the other hand, mistook the silence for disagreement.

"You're not, are you?" he asked, his eyes now directed at Sam.

"No," the latter replied tersely.

Elena had finally gathered up her crutches and was heading towards the door. "I'll be outside," she stated before letting it fall shut behind her. She slumped down in one of the armchairs in the relaxation zone down the hall by the window. This could not have gone worse. She had texted Sam last night telling him she was back and that she was looking forward to seeing him. She knew that he was already unhappy about her friendship with Damon and that he was surely reading more into walking in on her sitting on his bed. Waiting outside was making her nervous. She hated not knowing what was happening, what someone thought or felt and she desperately wanted that door to open again. Luckily, her agony wasn't dragged out for too long and after about ten short minutes Sam stepped out of Damon's room and walked over to her, his shoulders set in a defensive stance.

"Hey," she said, getting up and throwing her arms around him when he reached her. Before he could respond, she had already pulled back slightly and kissed him gently on the lips. Offense was the best defense. "I missed you," she said, hoping to dissipate his bad mood.

"Oh yeah?" he replied doubtfully. She nodded and gave him her most encouraging smile. "Why didn't you come see me then?" he asked, the hurt obvious in his voice.

"I knew you were still working. I was just checking in on Damon before hassling you." She poked his chest lightly and smirked saucily.

Sam sighed. "I know you guys are friends and I don't want to sound like a jealous boyfriend but it's just weird, you know? Going to see a patient and seeing you there."

"I know," she agreed warmly.

"I don't want your friendship to bother me, but it does," he admitted, looking into her eyes to gauge her reaction.

Elena swallowed slightly. She didn't want to hurt Sam, but she wasn't giving up on her friendship with Damon, that much was certain. She just had to reassure him. "He doesn't have anyone else, Sam." She hoped he would understand.

"Yeah, that's what you keep telling everyone who's willing to hear it," he said, antagonism lacing his voice. "You always make it sound like you feel obligated to be there for him." Something inside Elena constricted. It wasn't true. She knew she didn't come to see Damon out of obligation and it pained her that she had tried to make people believe that was the case. "But when you feel obligated to see someone, you stop by their room for a few minutes before leaving. They're not your first stop every day."

Elena stepped away from Sam a little. This was not going like she had hoped. She had hoped they would reunite happily and she would feel yet again assured in her decision to be with him. Right now that wasn't the case.

"You're really reading too much into this," she said, struggling to find a way to reassure him.

"Am I?" he asked and she could hear the hope in his voice. He wanted to believe her. She only needed to give him a reason to.

"Yes. I'm with you, Sam. And I'm happy with you. You bring out the old Elena again. And I like that. And I like you." She smiled.

He looked at her, uncertainty still in his eyes. But a smile started spreading across his face. "I like you, too," he said and, after a beat, he leaned down to kiss her gently. "Are we still on for dinner tonight?" he asked, stroking her hair lightly.

"Yep," she replied, relief washing through her.

"Alright, I gotta go. But I'll see you tonight then." Elena nodded and with a last peck on the lips he left her standing there and made his way down the corridor. Elena grabbed her crutches and hobbled back into Damon's room.

"There you are," he greeted her with an easy grin. "I thought maybe the scary doctor guy ate you."

"The scary doctor guy?" Elena asked while leaning her crutches against the wall and then climbing up onto Damon's bed, taking her usual seat at the foot end.

"He was being extra uncareful with me," he said with affected annoyance.

"I'm sorry. He was mad at me. I guess he let it out on you," she said quietly.

"He's mad at you? Why? Did you steal some of his happy pills?" he grinned.

Elena sighed. This felt weird, even though she wasn't sure why. "We're sort of dating," she explained.

"That did not look like you were dating. That looked like you hate each other," Damon laughed.

"Yeah well, it was a weird moment," Elena conceded.

"I'll say."

Elena had dropped her eyes but after a bout of silence she raised them, only to see Damon inspecting her carefully. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he responded, still scrutinizing her with his eyes. "I don't see it," he finally added.

"You don't see what?" Elena asked, crossing her arms defensively.

"You and that guy. I don't see it."

"Well you don't have to see it," she replied defensively. "He's a good guy."

"He better be," he returned with a wink.

"What did he say to you anyways?" Elena asked, desperate to change the subject.

"He said I get to go home," Damon replied and this time the smile that slowly and hesitantly spread across his face was one of his rare, genuine ones, the ones that made her heart soar and ache at the same time.

"When?" Elena asked, sitting upright. Her face was lighting up. She knew how much he hated the hospital. Seeing him in this room was like watching a leopard in a cage.

"By the end of the week," Damon elaborated. Elena's grin widened. This was the best news she'd gotten in a long time. Instantly, she flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around Damon's neck.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I just know last night's ep put you in a reviewing mood ;)<strong> _


	19. Chapter 19 BROTHERS

_A/N: Hey guys! Big big thanks to everyone who's still reading this and to all of you wonderful people who take the time to review. It's so amazing to hear what you all think! Special thanks to Elvishgrrl who kindly betaed this - despite having to put up with me leaving out basically every comma ever - and who is just generally awesome! Here we go :)_

* * *

><p><strong>19. Brothers<strong>

He was out of the hospital. It was an incredible feeling. Even though the doctors had advised him to stay at home as much as possible and still rest a lot, and even though he could only really go anywhere on crutches, and even though he had to go back to the hospital regularly for rehab, he was free. He was free to wear his own clothes, free to eat his own food (or at least free to order whatever he wanted to get delivered), free to sit in his bathtub for as long as he liked and free to walk around his apartment naked if he so pleased. It was a whole new life. He realized now that he had never appreciated it properly, having full control over his own life. He had never actually felt like he had control before – he'd been more of a fatalist – but now he felt for the first time in a long time like he could shape his own destiny, and it was exhilarating. He had decided that he would start right away and was on his way to her now. There was something he had to tell her and it couldn't wait.

As he was standing in front of her house, he was suddenly nervous and it annoyed him. Damon Salvatore didn't do nervous. But then he didn't really do any of this – ever – so it shouldn't come as a surprise to him that new sensations were a part of the experience. He tucked his hands into his pockets when he saw her bounding down the stairs with a huge smile on her face. Not surprisingly, it vanished as soon as she recognized him through the glass window in her door.

"Ugh, you," she said by way of a greeting, a contemptuous look on her face.

"Hello, Caroline," he returned in his most velvety voice. "It's good to see you again."

"Sorry, but that feeling's entirely one-sided," she quipped, propping one hand into her side sassily. Damon wanted to shift his weight from his right leg but couldn't. He wasn't able to put any real pressure onto his broken leg yet and it impaired his smooth body language greatly. He pushed his hands into his pockets and took a deep breath in frustration. Why did women always have to be so difficult?

Caroline glanced across his shoulders and saw a cab waiting for him by the curb. At least he didn't plan on staying, she thought.

"So spill, what do you want?" she asked again, hoping she sounded as utterly disinterested as she wanted to seem.

"Listen, I… wanted to… apologize."

She could hear in his voice how much effort it cost him to press out this sentence. She also had no idea how to respond and therefore opted for just standing in her doorway, staring at him.

Damon looked up, wondering if this was enough and he could just turn around and leave now, but the utterly shocked and confused look on the blonde's face told him that he wasn't done by far. He sighed, gathering up the energy to continue his quest. "For what I did… to you," he elaborated, as if she didn't know what he was talking about.

Caroline's eyes squinted together in a scrutinizing expression. "Did Elena tell you to do this?" she asked, after a moment of inspecting his face.

He let out a short laugh. "She doesn't know I'm here," he explained. "And maybe we should keep it that way. She would just try to make us all hang out together and nobody wants that."

Caroline couldn't help but smile slightly. Yep, this was the Damon she knew and loathed. "So what's your agenda, then?" she demanded to know.

"No agenda," he sighed. "Look. I just… I realized that what I did was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. I know I hurt you, and… you didn't deserve it. And I just… I thought you should know that I really am sorry."

She stared at him with big eyes, not really knowing what to say.

He coughed once, uncomfortably, before continuing. "Don't worry. I'm not asking for forgiveness or anything. This is not about redemption. It's just about me realizing that I messed up. Badly. And I didn't want you thinking forever that I didn't care that you went through something horrible because of me. I do. I wish I could undo it all, but I can't. So… I at least wanted to tell you."

"Okay," Caroline replied, still unable to collect her thoughts.

Damon gave her a small smile and, after a moment of uncomfortable silence, figuring that this was the only reaction he was probably going to get and resolving that in that case there was no need for him to drag this out any longer, he turned around to leave, making his slow way down the steps and back to the waiting cab.

When he reached the gate, Caroline called out: "Damon!" He turned, surprised, and also a little apprehensive. He had been glad to get out of there rather quickly and without a long, dragged-out conversation. "Thank you," she said simply, and smiled.

"You're welcome," he replied, and was about to turn around again but was again stopped by her words.

"I still think you're a dick," she clarified, and Damon had to smile at the defiant expression on her face.

"Fair enough," he responded with a nod.

"But it means a lot that you apologized."

He simply smiled one last time before finally leaving for good.

* * *

><p>Elena was sitting on the bed, leafing through an old magazine, when her friend came back into the room. When Elena looked up, she was met with a curious expression on Caroline's face. She looked like she was trying to figure her out or uncover a secret.<p>

"What's going on?" Elena asked curiously.

"Nothing," Caroline replied, snapping out of inspection-mode and casually walking over to sit down on the bed.

"Who was at the door?" Elena continued, thrown off by her friend's strange behavior .

"Girl scouts," Caroline replied with a shrug, grabbing a magazine as well and turning the pages without actually reading anything.

Elena was about to question her friend further, when the door to Caroline's room was suddenly opened and Sheriff Forbes stepped inside.

"Elena, I'm glad you're here. Do you have a minute?" she asked, looking friendly but also somewhat concerned.

"Sure. What's going on?" Elena asked, putting away the magazine.

"I told you that Stefan is seeing a therapist, right?" Liz began, as she sat down on the edge of the bed the girls were sitting on.

"Yes, you did. Do you know how it's going?" Elena asked.

"Rather well, I think. His therapist is quite pleased." She smiled encouragingly before coming to her point. "He actually asked me if you and Damon could participate in a session. He thinks a mediated exchange in a safe environment might be beneficial."

"The three of us together?" Elena asked, uncertain of whether this was a good idea. "Maybe Stefan and Damon should talk about their issues by themselves and then Stefan and I can talk about our issues separately as well."

"Actually, the therapist believes it will be good to have you all in the same room, discussing everything. No secrets, no one being left out, all that," the sheriff explained warmly.

"What does Damon think about this?" Elena asked, still not convinced.

"I haven't talked to him yet. I just got off the phone with Dr. Young, the therapist."

Elena nodded, thinking the issue over. She wanted to talk to Stefan. She knew she still had questions for him and also knew that the brothers definitely needed to sort out some of their problems. It was possible that having these exchanges before any sort of trial (if it had to come to that) was actually a good thing. She just wasn't convinced that the three of them trying to hash it all out at once was likely to go well.

"Fine," she finally relented. "I'll do it."

* * *

><p>Since his release from the hospital, Elena had not seen Damon. With check-up visits suddenly having ceased to be an acceptable excuse, she had felt it to be overbearing and inappropriate to visit him at his home or call him often. They had spoken on the phone about the talk they were going to have with Stefan, and about what to tell Sheriff Forbes in order to get her to drop the charges against the younger Salvatore, but she had yet to see him in person. Therefore, when she caught sight of him casually leaning against the wall of the police station as she was driving up in Jenna's car, she felt her heart accelerate. She had missed him.<p>

When Jenna stopped the car, Elena got out immediately, thanked her for the ride, assured her she would call her as soon as the mediation was over and made her way towards the door where Damon was idly inspecting his phone. Walking on her crutches was obviously a laborious feat, and he noticed her before she was even halfway up the walkway, greeting her with a wide smile that spread all the way across his face. Elena couldn't help but smile back. When she finally reached him, she grabbed both of her crutches in one hand and slung her free arm around his neck, greeting him with a strong embrace. He only returned it briefly, but feeling him close to her again, being surrounded by his scent, made her feel at ease.

He smelled different. In the hospital he had to use hospital soap and the smell of disinfectant had been omnipresent, mingling with everything, invading her senses mercilessly. Now his own scent was back and it was better than she remembered from their trip to Chicago. He looked different, too – back in his black t-shirts instead of the white hospital-issued gown, standing upright instead of sitting and lying at all times. It seemed as if he had gained some of his confidence back – even his cocky smirk had returned. And while it had used to infuriate her, she was relieved to see it now.

"How's it going, pretty lady?" he drawled, as he held the door open for her.

"Good, good," she assured, hobbling into the station. "How are you?"

"Not too bad," he replied. His voice came from further away than Elena had expected and when she turned around to see where he was, she saw him struggle to get through the doors on his own crutches. It was a painful sight. He was made for languid, elegant movements, for an easy stride, for a confident grin and a strong set in the shoulders and seeing him lean against the wall, the illusion had been perfect for a minute. But he had been leaning on his right leg, of course, unable to put too much weight on his left one, and his crutches had been stored against the handrail next to him, where Elena hadn't noticed them in her excitement. When he reached her, she gave him a smile she hoped was comforting, but feared looked probably tortured instead.

"You ready for this?" he asked, as Sheriff Forbes approached the pair.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for this," she replied with worry in her eyes, before schooling her features into an easy smile for her friend's mother.

"Hi Elena, Mr. Salvatore," the Sheriff greeted. "You're early. The session's not for another half an hour."

"Yes, we know," Elena explained. "We were hoping we might get a chance to talk to you beforehand."

"Um sure, come with me into my office."

The pair followed the Sheriff, unable to keep up with her brisk walk, and she had to stand by the door to her office and hold it open for an awkward amount of time while Damon and Elena limped into the room and dropped themselves into the visitor's seats opposite her desk.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, walking around her desk to sit in her chair.

"We were hoping you might release my brother," Damon spoke instantly.

The Sheriff looked from one young face to the next, surprise obvious in her expression. "Excuse me?" she finally asked.

"Well, we… we don't want to press charges," Elena explained. "So there's no case, right?" Her eyes turned up to her friend's mother, filled with hope.

"Elena, this is not about you filing charges any more. Mr. Salvatore has confessed. The state is prosecuting him whether you want to or not," the Sheriff explained, with warmth in her voice.

"But you need our testimony, right?" Damon asked.

"No, your brother's confession is enough."

"What if he retracts his confession?" Damon persisted.

The Sheriff fixed him long and hard with her gaze, neither of them wavering. "Why would he do that," she finally questioned, the warmth gone from her voice.

"Because our father probably asked him to," Damon explained.

The Sheriff took a deep breath, obviously working through the annoyance. "Yes, in that case we would need your testimony," she admitted.

"What if we refuse to testify?" Damon continued. Elena could see the Sheriff's anger rising.

"Then they can have you subpoenaed," came the answer with finality. At that, Liz shot a warning look towards Elena.

"I'd plead the fifth," Damon returned without hesitation.

The Sheriff shook her head. "Don't make this harder on everyone than it has to be," she said tiredly. "They'd have to subpoena Elena. She already told me what happened."

"In shock, in the hospital. Maybe her memory was impaired," Damon suggested, glaring at the policewoman.

The Sheriff leaned forward in her chair, fixing him with a challenging stare. "Are you asking your friend to lie under oath, Mr. Salvatore?"

For a second, the silence in the room was deafening as the two glared at each other with blatant animosity.

"What if I also plead the fifth?" Elena broke the silence with a soft voice.

"You weren't the one driving, Elena. How would you incriminate yourself?" the Sheriff waved her off.

"Maybe I… distracted him," she suggested, heat creeping up her neck and cheeks immediately. Two sets of eyes shot over to her, staring at her in shock.

"Distracted him how?" the older woman asked in consternation. Elena's blush turned an even deeper red as she let her eyes drop to her hands in embarrassment. Finally, understanding flashed across the Sheriff's face as she scrambled for words.

"Don't answer that. I'm sorry," she muttered, shuffling papers around on her desk. "Elena, it is out of my hands now. The state is prosecuting Stefan Salvatore. If it gets to the point where you make it necessary to be subpoenaed and you choose to plead the fifth on the stand, that is your right." With that the Sheriff stood up, making it clear that their conversation was over.

Elena rose immediately, rushing out the door as quickly as her crutches would let her. Damon needed a second to recuperate from the astonishment before he could grab his own crutches and follow her into the hallway.

"Jerome," the Sheriff called a young police officer, waving him over impatiently. "Jerome, can you please show these two the way to Dr. Young's office?"

The officer nodded and took off down the hall, indicating for Damon and Elena to follow him. Elena hobbled after them, her head still bowed.

"Please wait here. Dr. Young will be right with you," Jerome explained when they reached one of many indistinguishable doors down a long corridor somewhere inside the police station.

When the officer disappeared around the corner, Damon suddenly slung his arm around Elena and broke out in laughter.

"I can't believe you just suggested to the Sheriff that you blew me in my car!" he snorted, pulling her toward him.

"God, I can't believe I did that either. It was horrible." Elena covered her face with her hands, leaning into his embrace as if to hide from the world.

"What are you talking about? It was awesome. The look on her face…"

"I've known this woman my entire life!" Elena objected. "I've never been so mortified. And it didn't even do any good."

"Well, it cracked me up," he disagreed, pulling her closer and placing a small kiss on the crown of her head. "So, that's something."

Elena raised her eyes to him for the first time since they left the Sheriff's office and couldn't help but smile back at seeing him grin at her cheekily. He was right. Seeing his smile was definitely something.

"Mr. Salvatore, Miss Gilbert?" They heard a dark, sonorous voice behind them.

Damon let go of Elena immediately and turned around, almost as if he'd been stung by a bee. Elena followed his line of sight that landed on a man in his forties, dark-skinned and tall, with broad shoulders and a calm, friendly expression on his face. Next to him they saw Stefan. Elena hadn't known what to expect, but he didn't look like a prison inmate. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and no handcuffs. The only thing that belied his current situation was the burly police officer standing watch behind him. When their eyes met, his gaze made her skin crawl. He looked at them murderously.

"Yes," Damon finally answered the therapist, and held out his hand to shake that of the much bigger man.

"Thank you for agreeing to this," the older man replied with an easy smile, shaking Elena's hand as well. Then he walked over to the door to his office and held it open for them. "Please, make yourself at home."

The small room had nothing of the hallway's rundown sterility. It was warm and comfortable, the walls lined with tall bookshelves. Pleasant light streamed through the ivory curtains, making all the colors seem softer. The desk was made from dark wood and cluttered with papers, books and pens. No certificates hung on the walls, but there were pictures of landscapes, an abstract drawing, and a ficus was thriving in a corner.

The desk stood by the window, but a small lounge suite made up of two couches and an armchair obstructed the way there. Elena and Damon sank into one couch while Stefan let himself drop onto the second one, facing them. The police officer leaned calmly against the bookshelf behind Stefan's sofa. While Dr. Young was still milling about, assembling a few papers and bringing over glasses and a decanter of water, Stefan stared silently at the pair opposite him. Elena was getting increasingly uncomfortable, shooting glances towards Damon who returned his brother's gaze, albeit less hostilely.

"So," the therapist started, while finally settling into the armchair between the two couches. "Thanks again, everybody, for being here. This is mediation. We want to talk about the things that happened and what they meant to everyone. I will be the mediator, which means I will guide the conversation, but I'm not here to judge or find any answers. There is no right or wrong here; this is a dialogue, an exchange of feelings and impressions, okay? And it will be confidential. Mr. Jones over there is also covered in the doctor / patient confidentiality agreement. So what is discussed here cannot be used in court. Everybody understand?"

Elena blinked at the flood of information, not really able to process it properly as her heart was racing in anticipation of what the next hour would bring. She did, however, nod dutifully, signaling her agreement.

"Great. How is everybody feeling?" the doctor asked, opening the arena.

"I have a question," Stefan said abruptly, his resentful gaze never leaving Damon and Elena.

"Sure, go ahead," Dr. Young allowed.

"Are you two dating now or something?" he asked, leaning forward, legs apart. His feet were rooted to the ground, his elbows on his knees, while his left hand was slowly massaging the pad of his right thumb.

Elena couldn't help finding his posture intimidating. She wondered where the sweet, caring man had disappeared to that she'd met in school, the one who shared her pain and had been able to understand her misery. She saw only hardness in his eyes now.

"What?" she responded, unsure of where the question was coming from.

"You heard me," Stefan answered, but his eyes wandered over to Damon as if he was speaking to him only. "I asked you how long you've been fucking my girlfriend."

"We're not dating," Damon said calmly.

"You guys stand out there smiling at each other like fucking turtle doves and now you sit here like an old married couple. And you're telling me there's nothing going on?" Stefan spat.

"Don't blame me if you can't keep your girl happy," Damon teased, a merciless smirk on his lips.

"Geez Damon, you're not helping!" Elena scoffed in exasperation. "There's nothing going on between us, Stefan," she explained.

"Oh, don't spare my feelings now," Stefan roared, finally locking his eyes on hers. "No need to lie anymore, Elena – the cat's out of the bag. So, why don't you just be honest for once in your life?"

Elena gaped at him in shock.

"Hey, Romeo," Damon spoke up, drawing his brother's attention back to himself. "Why don't we keep the girl out of our mess for once? She's seeing someone else, someone who's supposedly a nice guy, so how about you drop the fucking jealousy and get to what's really bothering you?"

"You ruining my life is really bothering me," Stefan shot back.

"May I interrupt here," Dr. Young interjected. "It seems to me that there are a lot of deep-rooted issues at play here."

"No shit, Sherlock," Damon scoffed.

"I suggest we take a step back," Dr. Young continued, unperturbed. "Accusations only result in people defending themselves. When we get defensive, we close up, we don't share."

Elena could practically feel Damon rolling his eyes next to her.

"I'm sure you all have questions for each other. Stefan already got one answer. How about you, Elena? Do you have a question? Maybe start with one that's not quite as loaded?"

Elena looked around like a deer in the headlights, hating to be put on the spot in the middle of a heated argument. The doctor was right about one thing, however. She wanted to take the edge out of the argument. She had plenty of questions that didn't revolve around feelings and the past.

"How did you know we were going to be on that road?" she asked Stefan, holding her breath. She could see some of the anger drain from his face before he took a deep breath to answer her.

"I didn't," he finally said in a quiet voice. "I was coming for you."

Elena was visibly taken aback.

"Charlotte told me you were in Chicago, so I went to find you there," Stefan finished.

"Wait, you talked to Charlotte?" Damon interrupted.

"Yeah, I talk to her every week." Stefan waved him off.

"But, so… you just saw us on the road?" Elena came back to her question.

"Yeah," Stefan confirmed, lowering his eyes. "I just… I just snapped." He looked up at her and suddenly there was a flash of the boy she had met in his eyes – sad and vulnerable, pleading with her. "I never meant to hurt you, Elena. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. I… I just saw the car and I got so angry. I mean, obviously I knew that you'd be in the car. I guess, I don't really remember much…" He took a deep breath while Elena tried hard to suppress her tears. "I just saw Damon's car and I… I wasn't thinking clearly. All I wanted to do was hurt him. I wanted him to feel pain just once." He wasn't able to look up, to meet anyone's eyes. He just stared at the floor by his feet.

Elena didn't know what to say, but she could feel Damon tense next to her.

"Don't you think I've hurt enough when Katherine was shot?" he asked, indignation resonating in his voice.

"You were never hurt," Stefan shot back, now looking up at his brother again. The vulnerability was gone from his eyes and had been replaced with fury. "You were never in pain. All you were was angry. _I_ was the one who was hurt," he shouted, pounding one fist against his chest. "And you just kept punishing me. Relentlessly."

"Of course I did. You took away the one good thing in my life!" Damon leaned forward in anger.

"Oh, please," Stefan shot back in disdain. "That whole arrangement was a joke to you." He got up and towered over Damon, pointing an accusing finger at him. "You got your kicks out of it – it was a game to you."

"I loved her," Damon raged, shooting up to his brother's eye level and shoving him backwards a few feet, swaying slightly on his right leg.

"You never loved her. You go through girls like other people go through underwear, and you never loved any of them," Stefan spat back.

"Katherine was different," Damon contradicted. "I did love her."

"_I_ love her!" Stefan cried, and before anyone could register the movement, he propelled himself forward and punched Damon in the face. "I was going to marry her!" He stood over his brother who had fallen to the floor awkwardly, his broken leg stretched out, holding one hand to his face while trying to keep himself upright with the other.

"What?" Damon asked, all fight draining from him as shock shot through him. He looked at his brother with clear eyes now, frozen in his stupor.

The police officer came running over and grabbed Stefan, incapacitating him and wrestling him to the ground. Stefan came to his knees in a heap and hung his head low, tears streaming down his face.

"I was going to ask her that night. That's why I stayed at the apartment and let her go by herself. I was lighting fucking candles while she was getting shot." All eyes were on to him, as he writhed in the officer's strong hold. "I lost my future that night, Damon! I fucking needed you! Don't you think I felt guilty? Don't you think I blamed myself? I lost her and then I lost you as well. I needed my big brother. You were all I had left! And all you did was hate me and punish me."

For a few moments no one said a word. The only thing audible in the room were Stefan's sobs.

"Let him go," Damon finally instructed the police officer tiredly. The bulky man didn't budge. "Let him go!" Damon repeated, anger and urgency now in his voice.

The officer looked up at the therapist and after Dr. Young gave him a reassuring nod, he relinquished his hold on Stefan's arms and let the young man sag onto the ground as he stepped back watchfully.

"Stefan," Damon said, resting one hand gently on his brother's shoulder. "Stefan, I didn't know. I didn't understand, okay? But I'm here now. Okay? I'm here."

Stefan let his head drop against his brother's shoulder and grabbed a handful of his shirt in one fist. "I needed you, Damon. I hated you so much for leaving me."

"We can't keep hating each other, it's not worth it," Damon said, as he pulled his crying brother more tightly against his chest.

* * *

><p>Elena sat in the waiting area of the police station. Dr. Young had asked if he could speak to Damon for a few moments alone after Stefan had been taken back to his cell, so Elena had left them alone and called her aunt Jenna to pick her up.<p>

"Elena?" Sheriff Forbes' voice pulled her out of her daze. "How are you doing?"

"Fine, I guess. It was… a lot to take in," she admitted.

"I can imagine," the Sheriff answered, letting the conversation trail off for a while before picking it back up again. "Listen, if you're not up for it, I'd totally understand. But Stefan asked to see you."

"Now?" Elena wondered, in disbelief.

"He asked. But you don't have to. Don't feel pressured," the Sheriff assured her.

Elena thought for a moment, staring blankly at the linoleum floor. The discussion they'd had before had been rough. She was still shaken up by it. But it hadn't really resolved any of the issues between the two of them. Maybe talking to him would be a good idea. He normally wasn't allowed to receive visitors, so she couldn't be sure when she would get another chance.

"Yeah, okay. I'll go talk to him," she finally said, getting up laboriously as she began to follow Liz to where the cells were located.

Stefan was sitting on his bench, staring at the floor, when Elena reached his cell.

"You have ten minutes," the Sheriff announced, before leaving them.

"Hey," Elena said quietly, stepping towards the bars.

"Hey," he returned, getting up and walking over to the barrier that separated him from the rest of the world.

"You wanted to see me?" Elena asked uncertainly.

"Yes." Stefan took a deep breath, before delving into the speech he had prepared for her. "Look, I… I wanted to say I'm sorry. Again." He flashed her a weak smile. "You were right," he admitted, not meeting her eyes. "I think to some extent at least I did use you to replace Katherine."

Elena swallowed and nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I really thought I loved you," he continued, grabbing two bars tightly. "I really did. I mean, I knew you weren't her. And I didn't want you to be her. You're a wonderful person. All on your own." His eyes searched hers for a second, only to drop back down the moment they connected. "But I think you were right in saying that I couldn't untangle what I felt for you from what I feel for her. And for that I'm sorry. Because you deserve more."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"And I'm also sorry for what I said earlier. About you and Damon. I just… I couldn't handle seeing you two together. It reminded me…" He didn't finish the sentence; he didn't have to.

"I'm sorry she came between you two," Elena said.

Stefan shook his head in quiet acceptance. "We came between ourselves," he stated quietly. "Neither of us could let her go."

"You wanted to marry her?" Elena inquired calmly. Stefan only nodded his head. "And you think she would have said yes?"

"I'm sure of it," he confirmed.

Elena was surprised. "But… Damon said she didn't want to choose."

"Well, we never made her choose," Stefan explained. "But I'm sure if she'd had to, she would have chosen me."

"How can you be sure? Damon said she loved him, too."

"She did," Stefan conceded. "But not the same way she loved me."

Elena crunched her brows together.

"I guess he was the only one who could challenge her. The only one she thought could keep up with her. The two of them were always fighting. Sometimes arguing, but often just provoking and testing each other, trying to see who was more daring, who would go further, who would last longer. They could never relax around each other. Their relationship was a constant struggle." He looked towards the small window, almost reminiscent for a second. "She couldn't let him go because it was exhilarating. They had passion – I 'll give them that. But they couldn't be together in a normal, steady relationship. They would have burned each other up." He looked up at her now, fixing her with his eyes. "You can't love someone entirely and give yourself to them entirely if you can't allow yourself to show weakness around them," he said determinedly.

"And you think they couldn't?" Elena asked.

"I know they couldn't," Stefan replied with certainty. "She went to him for all the excitement, but I was the one she talked to about her fears, about her dreams, about the future. I was the one she curled up with on the couch, the one she could relax around, the one she could cry with."

Elena nodded thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry." He closed his eyes and shook his head, reprimanding himself. "I didn't want to talk about her. Or him. It doesn't matter. I just… I wanted you to know that you're not someone's replacement. You're an amazing girl. And I'm happy you found someone else."

"Thank you," she said. "I hope you'll find someone else, too."

He smiled at her tiredly.

"I should get going," she said. "My aunt's probably waiting for me."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Thanks for coming and talking to me."

"You're welcome," she said, before turning around and heading down the hallway.

"Hey, Elena," he called after her, making her look back at him one last time. "Wasn't your birthday this week?"

She had to smile at the fact that he remembered. Or almost remembered. "It's next Monday," she corrected him with a smile.

He nodded, a little embarrassed. Pointing towards the bars he was locked up behind, he said: "Well, I won't see you on Monday so… Happy Birthday."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So... what do you think Damon will get Elena for her birthday? ;) And what did you think of the brothers' fight? I'm dying to know! Thanks for reading. Love you all! 33**


	20. Chapter 20 SOMETHING NEW AND - Part 1

_A/N: Soooooo sorry for the long wait guys. My oneshot "Maybe Less, Maybe a Little More" took a little too much out of me and it took me a while to finish this birthday chappie. By the way, speaking of the oneshot, those of you who demand smut from me, go read it ;) Anyways, here is the first part of the birthday. The lovely Elvishgrrrl (who betaed this in RECORD time btw, thanks so much!) recommended I split it in two cause it got really long so that's why this is part one and part two will follow shortly. Thanks so much for all your continued support. Seriously means the world to me! (Also, obvs, I don't own TVD)_

* * *

><p><strong>20. SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING BLUE – Part 1<strong>

"_It was as if I had asked for something without knowing it, and then suddenly my wish had been granted."  
><em>- Paul Auster "The Book of Illusions"

On Sunday afternoon Elena was hanging up garlands when Caroline idly wandered into the kitchen and startled her friend by plunking a basket with decorative items onto the kitchen console. The front door was always open, something Elena loved about living in this small, inconspicuous town – nothing bad ever happened here – but she had been lost in thought and Caroline's sudden appearance had surprised her. She had been trying to reach Damon ever since their session with Stefan, but it seemed his cell phone was either dead or out of reach of cell towers. In any case, she hadn't been able to contact him and it was starting to worry her.

"Jumpy much?" Caroline asked with a mocking grin.

"Just… a little out of it," Elena explained, slightly embarrassed.

"You seem very out of it, from what my mom tells me," Caroline came straight to the point, crossing her arms and looking disapprovingly up at Elena, who was standing on a small stepladder, gaping down at her friend.

"What? Why?" she asked as she started to climb down the steps.

"She told me that you alluded to having performed 'indecent acts' in Damon's car," Caroline huffed, uncrossing her arms only long enough to make mocking air quotes.

"Oh God," Elena slapped one palm across her eyes in shame. "Isn't that like confidential or something?" she sighed, exasperated.

"Nothing is confidential from me," Caroline returned snappily.

"I was just asking hypothetically," Elena defended, a slight blush creeping up her face.

"Well obviously!" Caroline uncrossed her arms to open them in a gesture that showed just how obvious this fact was to her. "I know you didn't actually get Damon off in his car on the highway." Elena's blush increased at the insinuation. "I wanna know why you would tell anyone you did."

"I was just asking to see if there was a way to get Stefan out of prison," Elena explained uncomfortably.

"Elena, I get that Stefan was the first guy to make you feel like there was hope again after your parents passed away – I really do. And I get that you want to help him and that you want to help Damon. But don't you think that maybe you'd be helping him more by making him stand up for what he did and work through his issues?" Caroline suggested

"He is, though," Elena argued. "He's seeing a doctor. He apologized to me. He remembered my birthday."

"Did he remember yours? Or Katherine's?" Caroline mused.

Elena swallowed and let her eyes drop to the floor. She had forgotten about that. Maybe that was why Damon was off the grid. He was probably wallowing in his pain, remembering who he had lost a little over a year ago and of whom this day would always remind him. She had invited him to her birthday party, but he'd probably been dreading the day as much as she had been looking forward to it. An inexplicably intense pain rushed through her and she had to sit down.

"Elena, I know you want Stefan to be well and you don't want to be the reason he's behind bars. But you're not. He did that to himself. He needs to take responsibility for his actions."

Elena nodded absent-mindedly. "You're probably right," she admitted, only half-listening to her friend.

"Just promise me you won't do anything stupid or illegal," Caroline pleaded.

"No, of course not," Elena reassured her, staring at the colorful balloons strewn across the table, waiting to be filled with air.

* * *

><p>Once the sun had set, the Gilbert house started to fill with people. Despite Elena's preoccupation with everything but high school social engagements this past year, a lot of her old friends had accepted her invitation and milled about the living room and kitchen, waiting for midnight and cake. Bonnie and Jeremy were leaning against the windowsill, whispering to each other, exchanging private smiles and secret looks. Caroline and Matt were standing in the middle of the living room and swaying to the soft music, accompanied by a few other couples. Jenna was busying herself in the kitchen, pretending to take care of the catered food, but really trying to give the teenagers as much privacy as possible while still performing her duties as a responsible legal guardian. Sam was sitting with Tyler and a few other guys and discussed this year's football season. Elena had to smile; it was all so very domestic. She was glad to have come to a place where she was comfortable in her life again, where she reminded herself of her old self and especially where she reminded everyone around her of her old self. The pitying looks were waning and the old inside jokes were resurfacing, and Elena was grateful for the familiarity of it all.<p>

Suddenly her eyes snapped up, drawn by movement in the doorway of the living room. Her heart sped up traitorously when she recognized Damon. He had come after all. Excitement spread through her. He hadn't noticed her yet, deeply engrossed in conversation with Alaric, who was basically living here now and probably glad that he could show off his growing liquor collection to someone able and willing to appreciate it. Damon, in return, was probably glad to have spotted the only person in this party able and willing to share said liquor with him. He was leaning on a walking stick that allowed for more movability than the crutches, while still helping him keep weight off his broken leg. In his other hand, he was holding up a bottle of old bourbon and nodded approvingly at whatever his new friend was telling him about it.

Elena had to smile and walked over to say hello, earning a grin from Damon when he turned to see her approach.

"Hey there, birthday girl," he greeted, pulling her in slightly and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Slamming party."

Elena rolled her eyes. "You can stop the mocking right there. You found the liquor. Don't pretend you're not right where you want to be."

He gave her a wink before turning his attention back to her aunt's boyfriend. "Well, Ric here has been mighty boasty about this one," he claimed, waving the bottle he'd been holding lightly. "But I'm afraid I can't take his word for it."

"Didn't think you would," Alaric replied with a knowing smile as he took a tumbler down from the shelf to offer his guest a taste.

Elena felt a little rebuffed, taking a back seat to a bottle of alcohol, but she was glad Damon had come and seemed relaxed and in a good mood. The night was young. She would have more time to talk to him later. She decided to join her boyfriend instead. Judging from the suspicious look she saw on Sam's face as she turned around and their eyes met, that was probably a good idea.

"You okay?" she asked, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"Yeah. You having a good time?" he replied, pulling her in and pressing a lingering kiss to her lips.

"Yeah, I am," she reassured him. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Jefferson High," Tyler chimed in. "We're playing them next week and their quarterback is killing it this season."

"You need to block him right off the bat," Sam explained, turning his attention back to the guys, a hand resting on Elena's knee, keeping her in place. "Don't let him get through. Have Monroe on the field right from the start to run interference."

"Coach never lets Monroe play right from the start," one of the others objected.

"That's why they'll never suspect it," Sam said with conviction.

Elena let her eyes wander. She used to love football talk. Back when she had been a cheerleader, the boys exchanging theories and planning strategies had excited her. Standing on the sidelines, watching her friends go through the plays they had discussed the night before – seeing them succeed in outsmarting an opponent, believing in their superiority – it had given her a rush. She remembered cheering them on, her own excitement building with every successful interception and every completed pass, fired up by the cheers of the girls around her, the unity of their movements and the supportive yells from the crowds on the bleachers. She remembered the thrill and the passion, but she wasn't able to conjure those feelings up now. There was little that interested her less at the moment than whether or not Monroe played and how good a quarterback some guy from some other school was.

Her eyes connected briefly with Bonnie's and the girls exchanged friendly smiles, the kind that mean nothing from a stranger and everything from your best friend, before Elena's gaze wandered on over to where Jenna and Alaric were giggling in a corner and finally landed on Damon, who was leaning nonchalantly against the back rest of one of the couches, surrounded by a small harem of girls. Elena had to shake her head when she saw him bestowing sultry smiles and suggestive winks on every one of them. She'd been worried that he'd been dreading this day because it reminded him of his undying love of her sister and instead here he was, flirting unabashedly with every girl who let him. Well, let him was maybe the wrong phrase. It didn't seem like any of them were unwilling participants. Elena tore her eyes away; somehow she had liked it better when Damon had been discussing alcoholic beverages with her history teacher.

* * *

><p>When midnight finally rolled around, Sam pulled Elena into the middle of the living room, stepped behind her and held his hands over her eyes to blind her as he whispered into her ear, "No peeking, the stripper still needs to climb into the cake." Elena giggled lightly and bumped her elbow playfully into his side.<p>

"Alright, here we go," she heard her aunt say, and then the hands were lifted from her eyes and she could see Jenna advancing from the kitchen, holding a giant cake decorated with the number 18 in bright blue frosting and ablaze with burning sparklers. Everyone had gathered around her in a circle and on a sign from Alaric, they all started singing "Happy Birthday". Elena had to smile. It felt good, being surrounded by everyone she loved.

She cut the cake and handed pieces out to everyone, receiving hugs and birthday wishes in return. The party continued in full swing as Elena stood by the cake and searched for Damon who hadn't come over to wish her a happy birthday yet. But she couldn't see him anywhere and began to wonder if he had already left, possibly with one of the girls that had latched onto him earlier. When was the last time she'd seen him? Had he been standing amongst her friends in the circle singing at midnight? She wasn't sure. She felt acute disappointment cut through her. He had basically ignored her all night and now he hadn't even stayed to congratulate her.

"You okay?" she heard a voice speak next to her. She turned around to see Alaric looking at her with almost fatherly concern and she smiled at him. Admittedly, it had felt weird at first, seeing her history teacher at breakfast and her aunt's boyfriend in class, but the couple seemed so happy and Alaric was so genuine and caring that she couldn't help but consider him family already.

"Yeah. Just tired," she admitted.

He nodded with a wink and left to start announcing to people that he would make everyone who wasn't home by one o'clock take a pop quiz the next day. It was a school night after all. Elena rolled her eyes at him with a smile while she leaned against the stair post and watched him wave goodbye to the football players.

"Thanks for ruining my party," she chided playfully as her last friends filed out the door with hugs and repeated birthday wishes.

"You're welcome," he responded, and left to help Jenna clean up in the kitchen.

Sam lingered behind and slowly sauntered up to her after Jeremy had bounded down the stairs, backpack in hand, and announced that he would spend the night at Bonnie's.

"So," he said, resting his hands on her hips and slightly pulling her towards him.

"So," she returned, reluctant to encourage him at the moment.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked, his thumbs drawing small circles over her hipbones.

"I did," she confirmed. "Despite the fact that there was no stripper in my cake." She gave him a playful smile to which he smirked in return.

Slowly, he leaned forward until his lips were right by her ear and whispered, "I'll strip for you if you want."

Elena was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. She knew that they had been dating long enough to take things to the next level. She wasn't usually this hesitant about it, either, but for some reason she didn't feel excited by the prospect of sleeping with Sam. She assumed that she still needed to overcome the recent trauma of having sex with someone and then finding out they'd been lying to her.

"Um, we'll be going to bed, guys," Jenna announced, dragging Alaric up the stairs behind her. "I'm really tired," she added, supporting her claim with a big yawn. "I'll probably drop dead the minute my head hits the pillow." She sped up a little, causing Alaric to struggle to keep up with her.

Elena blushed. She appreciated that her aunt wanted to give her and her boyfriend some privacy, but right now she almost wished she had a stricter guardian. One who yelled at men to keep their paws off her innocent niece. Elena felt ashamed. She liked Sam; she was attracted to him, but the thought of sleeping with him tonight was making her panic.

"I'm really tired, too," she said quietly, after hearing the door to her aunt's room close.

He pushed himself off of her to be able to look into her eyes. "What?" he asked, disbelief evident on his face.

"I'm sorry, I guess today was a bit much," she lamely tried to explain.

He looked at her for a moment, considering his next move. "But I haven't given you your last birthday present yet," he finally said, his voice low and suggestive, his right hand slowly gliding down her side from her ribcage to her hips.

Elena felt herself get increasingly uncomfortable. "I think I can't process any more presents today," she said, with a smile that was meant to lessen the blow she was dealing.

She could feel Sam stiffen at her words and felt relief when he stepped away from her, giving her room to move between his body and the stair post she had been uncomfortably pressed against. "Sure," he said, obviously disappointed.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, feeling encouraged by his acceptance. "I'm just really tired. Thanks for understanding."

He smiled at her wearily and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I'll get going then. Let you get some sleep."

"Okay," she nodded, pushing herself off of the post and walking over to the door, looking forward to being alone and letting her nerves settle a bit. Today probably really had been a bit too much for her.

He kissed her one last time before reluctantly letting go of her hand and heading down the porch steps. Elena closed the door, annoyed at the relief she felt coursing through her body, before climbing the stairs to her room.

"Finally."

Elena heard his voice before she was able to turn the lights on. When she did, she could see him, too. Damon – stretched out on her bed, one arm under his head, her teddy resting on his chest. "I was getting bored. The only diary I could find was from when you were thirteen." He waved the little red book with the plush heart decorations around teasingly. "You weren't as smart back then."

"What are you doing here?" she asked, still standing planted by her door.

"I was waiting for you," he said matter-of-factly and dropped the journal onto her nightstand.

"I'm really tired, Damon," she stated, before dropping herself onto her bed and scooting up next to him so she could stretch out her leg.

"You're not that tired," he replied teasingly.

"Yes I am," she corrected and let her head drop back so it was resting next to his. Without a word he shifted his arm and she lifted her head slightly to rest it on his shoulder instead of her pillow. It almost felt like they were back in their bubble at the hospital, that strange place in time when she had felt close to him, when they had shared and talked. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed it until now.

"Too tired for your present?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm never too tired for presents," she replied with a smirk.

"Good," he said, before getting up so abruptly that her head dropped onto the mattress unceremoniously. "Let's go."

He held his hand out for her.

"What? Go where?" she asked, sitting up confused.

"It's a surprise," he replied with a wink.

"Ugh, I'm not letting you kidnap me again," she said defiantly, grabbing the teddy bear he'd dropped and crushing it to her chest.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Geez, woman – you're being dramatic. I didn't kidnap you then and I'm not kidnapping you now. I'm giving you a present."

"You couldn't bring it here?" she whined.

"Nope, that's not how this works," he explained and extended his hand again.

"Oh, so how this works is you taking me God knows where against my will?" she said defiantly.

Damon sighed. He could see by the spark in her eyes that she was intrigued. He suspected she wanted to fight him on everything merely out of principle.

"I was going to let you drive my car…" he teased.

"The blue one?" Elena perked up immediately.

"The b…" Damon gaped at her in shock. "Yes, my 1969 Camaro."

Elena gave him a coy smile. "I'm sorry. Did I insult your baby?"

"Just don't let it happen again," he quipped and pulled the keychain from his pocket, dangling it in front of her alluringly.

"But… the accident," she objected.

"I've had her fixed," he explained. "Whaddaya say?"

She looked at the keys longingly. "I can't drive a car, Damon. Not with my leg. How did you even get it here?"

"I have my ways. And yes, you can. You've been walking around all day."

"From the couch to the kitchen and back. I still take my crutches when I go outside."

"My friend Dale drove himself home from the hospital after he broke both his arm and his leg," Damon told her, leaning over her for emphasis. "Come on, you know you want to. Live a little."

Elena looked at the keys like they were hypnotizing her. He jiggled them a little and she raised her eyes to meet his. The mischievous glint in them sparked something inside her. "Alright," she accepted, grabbing the keys from him. "But I can't stay out too long. I have school tomorrow."

"We'll see about that," Damon answered, grabbing his leather jacket from the edge of her bed and making his way into the hall. Elena sighed inwardly at his non-commitment of getting her home in time, but, to her own surprise, she couldn't bring herself to care.

They tried to be as quiet as possible walking down the stairs. When she stepped outside, she could see the old-timer standing on the curb, looking almost silver in the moonlight. She walked up to the car and walked around it reverently.

"It looks like before," she said, letting a hand run over the left fender where Stefan's car had struck. The metal was smooth, the headlight unbroken, the finish pristine. She could feel anxiety and sadness rise up inside her. "It's like it never even happened."

"She looks the same," Damon said, looking lovingly at his car. "But the engine's been completely replaced. Some parts of the body as well. I still love her though." He smiled up at her.

"Well, you'd better. She's the love of your life, right?" Elena asked, remembering the first day they had met. Oh, how different they had both been back then.

"That she is," he confirmed before getting into the passenger seat.

Elena got in as well, fastened her seatbelt and turned the key in the ignition. The car came to life beneath her, grumbling pleasantly. "Well, she still sounds great," she said, throwing Damon an encouraging smile.

"New and improved," he answered with a smile of his own.

"So, Mr. Kidnapper, where are you abducting me to?"

"We're going towards Richmond. I'll give you directions on the way."

Elena gave him a sideways look but decided to not challenge him on this issue, so instead she turned onto the road and headed for the highway.

"Thanks for coming today," she said, after a short bout of silence. "I couldn't reach you all week. I thought maybe you weren't going to show."

"Sure I was," he returned, looking at the signs that they passed on the side of the highway. "I've been scouting out locations for tonight, so I had poor reception."

"You've been planning this all week?" she asked, looking over at him in surprise.

"Well, it's not like I had anything better to do," he waved her off, still concentrating on the signs by the road.

Elena stayed quiet for a little while. "I thought maybe the date bothered you," she finally spoke again and waited for his reaction. "Because it's also Katherine's birthday," she added, when he stayed quiet.

"I know," he said. "Turn onto this one," he added, pointing to the sign indicating a state route.

"Just, after everything that Stefan said," she began, unable to stop herself from saying things that would most definitely put a damper on the mood. "Do you think he said the truth?"

"I don't know," he admitted, looking into empty space, seeming a million miles away. "In any case, there was stuff that I didn't know about," he finally said, looking down at his hands. "Maybe I was wrong," he concluded, looking out of the window again.

"About what?" Elena asked.

"In thinking she loved us both equally," he replied, and she could tell it pained him.

"Maybe Stefan was wrong to think she would choose him," Elena considered, unable to bear Damon's hurt.

"Maybe," he relented, with little conviction.

They drove in silence for a while before Elena spoke again. "Did you ever talk about the future? About what you wanted later in life?" she asked, glancing over at him.

Damon kept his eyes on the darkened landscape outside. "No," he simply answered, making it sound like the final statement he was willing to make on this matter. "Turn off here," he suddenly instructed and pointed to a sparkly exit sign.

"A casino?" Elena asked, as she turned off the road into a big parking lot in front of a gigantic, insanely illuminated building.

Damon threw her a conspiratorial look and as soon as Elena had navigated the car into a parking spot, he stepped out onto the gravel. Elena sighed, turned the engine off and exited the car as well.

"So," she said, leaning on the car roof, her chin resting on her crossed arms. "This is what you dragged me out of my house for – at one am?"

"This," Damon said, walking around the hood of the car so he was standing right in front of her, "is the first stop in the 'Night of Things Elena Can Finally Do Now That She's Eighteen.'"

She gaped at him for a second. "Are you serious?" she asked, her eyes flicking from him to the pompous casino they were standing in front of.

"Come on," he said, offering her his elbow to escort her into the building. "The sooner we go in, the sooner you can win the money you'll need for our next destination."

They entered the lobby on a plush red carpet, the doors held open by one doorman on each side. To their right was the reception of the incorporated hotel, to their left wide doors opened onto the casino floor where dozens of people were cruising the different tables offering everything from poker to blackjack and roulette. Elena's eyes widened as they stepped inside and she took in the expensive interior. The walls were covered in thick fabric wallpaper, the plastering on the ceiling was painted gold and enormous chandeliers were dangling over the mahogany tables, bathing the room in a warm, rich light. Most men were wearing suits and the women looked stunning in cocktail dresses. Elena started to feel self-conscious.

"I feel like we're a little underdressed," she whispered in Damon's direction.

"You're still the prettiest girl here, so don't worry," he responded with a wink.

They reached the small registration table and the gentleman in a tailcoat who was in charge of admission and had a perpetually sour look on his face asked them for their IDs. He checked Damon's quickly and gave him his card before inspecting Elena's more thoroughly. With crinkled brows he turned his arm to take a look at his wristwatch and then look at her ID again. Suddenly a smile spread across his face.

"It's your birthday, Miss," he stated.

"Yes, it is," she confirmed.

"Well, welcome to Royal Springs Casino," he greeted her, now with a warm smile on his face. "In this case, the first round is on us," he explained and handed her a green twenty-five dollar chip.

Elena looked at the man with big eyes and thanked him, before following Damon onto the casino floor.

"So, which one do you want to do?" he asked.

"Roulette," she replied immediately, anticipation now creeping up her spine. She had played some poker with her dad when she was little, but she had never tried roulette and it looked so fancy and exciting when James Bond did it.

He led her to one of the roulette tables and stayed standing behind her when she sat down at the only empty chair.

"What do I do?" she asked, looking to him for advice.

"You put your chip on one of the numbers or colors or straights and when you pick the right one, you win," he instructed.

Elena watched an elderly lady with flappy arms and a bulging chest place chips on black and the number thirty-four. The croupier dropped the ball into the roulette wheel and Elena watched the little sphere spin and then start to bounce.

"Rien ne va plus," the croupier announced and Elena followed the tiny orb's unchartered course, spellbound. When it finally settled on the number twenty-seven, a young man on the other side of the table started cheering while the older lady grumbled in annoyance. She got up huffily while the croupier collected her chips.

"That guy got a carré," Damon explained. "He put his chip on the cross surrounded by the numbers twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-nine and thirty. So now he gets eight times what he wagered."

Elena watched the young man rake in the small tower of chips. Then she hesitantly extended her arm and put her chip onto the color red. The other gamblers placed their bets and then the croupier spun the wheel again and dropped the ball into it. As Elena followed its ever-tightening circles, she felt her heart rate increase and her hands get sweaty. She was surprised at how exciting she found gambling.

"Rien ne va plus," the croupier announced and the ball started bouncing from one number to the next. When it finally settled, Elena's heart stopped. It was lying on the number nine and the number nine was red.

"I won," Elena said quietly, checking her chip again to make sure it was really sitting on red. It was.

"Nine, red," the croupier announced and started doling out chips to everyone who won. Elena grabbed her two chips and held them up for Damon to see.

"I won!" she announced, a wide grin spreading across her face. "So, is this enough for our next activity?"

"Not if you don't want to seem cheap," Damon replied, and nodded for her to make another play.

Elena thought for a second and then dropped one of her chips on the number eighteen. Today, that was going to be her lucky number.

"Bold," she heard Damon speak right into her ear. "I like it."

Nervously, she turned the other chip around in her hand while she again watched the other gamblers place their bets. The ball that held everyone's fate first spun and then bounced until finally it settled. Elena's heart nearly stopped again as she watched the wheel turn, the little white ball resting securely in his spot.

"Black, thirty-one," the croupier announced, before taking away Elena's chip.

"It's less fun when you lose," Elena said to Damon with a pout and he couldn't help but laugh.

The next round was already starting and Elena watched the other gamblers place their chips. "Faîtes vos jeux," the croupier announced, telling everyone to hurry up if they wanted to play this round. Elena balled her fist around her chip, leaned over the table and defiantly dropped it onto the number eighteen again.

When she sat back down, she could feel Damon lean in behind her again, could feel the warmth of his skin against hers as he said, "Bold and persistent – I like it even more."

A shiver ran up her spine as he straightened back up and instantly his warmth and smell were gone. Elena felt her body lean back to chase after the sensation but stopped herself just in time. She was pulled back into the present moment by the sound of the ball bouncing off the metal between the numbers on the roulette wheel. When the clacking stopped, she had yet to find the small globe with her eyes.

There it was, nestled into the little red case, the number eighteen emblazoned above it. Elena gasped and looked again to make sure she was seeing it right before letting out a small shriek.

"I won!" she exclaimed, looking around for confirmation. The other players smiled at her benevolently and clapped at the rare occurrence. Still in shock, she spun around and looked at Damon, wide-eyed and disbelieving. "I won!" she exclaimed again, a little quieter now, before throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him tightly against her body while bouncing up and down on her healthy leg, unable to keep still due to the amount of adrenaline rushing through her body.

She turned around again to watch the croupier pile chips around the one she had placed on the number eighteen. "How much is that?" she asked of no one in particular but Damon was the one to answer.

"Nine hundred dollars," he informed her in a low voice.

"Nine hundred dollars?" she yelled, earning a few laughs and friendly nods from the other gamblers around her table. A little embarrassed, she turned around. "Nine hundred dollars?" she asked again, looking at Damon with big eyes. He only nodded, a mirthful grin on his face.

"Here you go, Miss," the croupier said to gain her attention, pushing the pile of chips over to her. "Would you like to play another round?"

"No," Elena replied instantly, before turning back around to Damon. "Right? I mean…"

He laughed at the shocked look on her face. "Whatever you want to do. It's your money," he told her.

"No, we're leaving," she confirmed, collecting her chips. Before leaving, she took one of them and dropped it into the croupier's tip safe, like she had seen people do in the movies, Then, with her hands full of colorful plastic chips and a wide grin on her face, she followed Damon to the cashier.

"Get a few ones," he instructed her as she dropped her chips onto the counter.

As they stepped out of the casino, the cool night air hit her, caressing her heated face pleasantly. "Oh my God," she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't believe I just won nine hundred dollars." Suddenly she stopped in her tracks and stared ahead of her, as if in deep thought. "We should have stayed," she finally decided, throwing a considering look over her shoulder at the glowing building. "I could have won more. I could have used it to pay for college."

Damon started laughing, watching her get worked up about the idea. "Spoken like a true addict," he stated before turning towards his car. "Come on, junkie, let's go. I promise the next stop will be just as fun."

"Where are we going?" Elena asked, limping after him.

"South," he said before dropping himself in the passenger seat of his car.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: I loved reading everyone's predictions for the present. I hope you like my idea :) Happy Sunday funday everyone! xoxo_**


	21. Chapter 20 SOMETHING BLUE - Part 2

_A/N: Here it is, the second part to the birthday. Hope y'all enjoy it :) Thanks again to Elvishgrrl who betaed this for me (btw, she just published her first ever AU/AH DE fic, so check that out). Also I want to thank everyone of you who reads this and who lets me know what you think. Some of you review anonymously or have their PM option disabled so I can't thank you in person. But I really am so so grateful for all your feedback and thoughts. Thanks, you wonderful lot! Here we go..._

* * *

><p><strong>20. SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING BLUE – Part 2<strong>

"_It was as if I had asked for something without knowing it, and then suddenly my wish had been granted."  
><em>- Paul Auster "The Book of Illusions"

"You cannot be serious," Elena exclaimed as they stopped in front of another colorfully lit building, this one in a more dingy, downtown area.

"Dead serious," he answered with the wicked grin that she used to hate and now loved, but right now really hated again.

"I'm not going in there," she protested.

"Why?" Damon asked sounding actually baffled.

"It's my birthday!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I'm not watching women take their clothes off!"

"Sunday night is ladies' night," Damon disclosed, a suggestive lift to his eyebrows.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, crossing her arms in annoyance.

"You won't have to watch women take their clothes off. Come on, how do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?" he said, before getting out of the car and thus declaring the conversation over.

Elena considered simply staying in the car and waiting him out. He couldn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. And she definitely didn't want to go into a place called 'The Chunky Monkey' that advertised itself by emblazoning a busty comic book redhead suggestively holding a peeled banana across their storefront.

"Come on, don't be such a prude," Damon teased, leaning down to patronizingly grin at her through the car window.

"I'm not a prude. I've seen 'Magic Mike,'" Elena grumbled while stepping out of the car huffily.

Damon laughed, ignoring her murderous looks as he escorted her to the heavy doors. Once inside, they were greeted by a bulky man of indefinite age, bald – but possibly as a style choice – and wearing a red satin shirt.

"ID," he demanded gruffly. "One moment please," he added no less brusquely, after having inspected the proffered cards. He pushed a button and left them to their own devices while he returned his attention to what might have been a surveillance screen or a small TV showing porn – it was hard to tell from across the counter.

Elena stared at her toes, mortified to be waiting in the hallway of a strip club. Thankfully the torment didn't last long, as only seconds later a scantily clad woman with endless legs stepped down a staircase at the end of the hallway and walked towards them with a gigantic smile.

"Miss Gilbert, please follow me," she beamed, extending her arm in the direction of a red door behind which they could hear loud music. Elena gaped at the woman who somehow, inexplicably, knew her name and followed her into the crowded and noisy room.

Instantly, she wanted to turn around and leave again. On the stage, four men dressed as firemen were dancing and suggesting indecent acts with prop fire-hoses. Leaving, however, was not an option as Damon, smiling like the cat that ate the canary, blocked her way out. Elena followed their busty usher through tables of hooting women to a small one for two, positioned right next to the stage. With an ecstatic smile, the woman removed the 'Reserved' sign and pulled Elena's chair out for her to sit in. After she had left them, Elena shot a dark look at Damon.

"You are unbelievable," she scolded, trying her hardest to see as little of the show as possible.

"I know," he returned smugly, obviously pleased with himself.

He ordered Coca Cola and pretzels for Elena and bourbon for himself, while Elena looked around the room, wondering what all the other women were thinking. Did they find this appealing – strange men simulating sex right in their faces?

"The casino was more fun," Elena stated condescendingly and sipped on her coke. He only winked and leaned back, making her wonder how much longer they would have to stay in this probably rat-infested dump.

After the number was over, the lights were lowered and mysterious music began to play. Smoke was blown onto the stage and a few women began to holler in anticipation. Elena shook her head. This was ridiculous. Suddenly, a dark shape moved through the smoke and as it cleared, it revealed a man standing in the middle of the stage, dark-skinned and well-built – not as bulky as the firemen had been, more of a lean look to his toned physique. He was wearing low-cut, white pin-striped dress-pants and a matching fedora that was shifted low to conceal his face. He was leaning on a walking stick and looked every bit the part of a twenties dandy except shirtless.

"Hello ladies," he murmured into a hidden microphone, probably a headset, and the room broke out in cheer to which he responded with a light, appreciative chuckle.

"Simmer down, I'll be here all night," he added in his unusually dark voice, causing another stir in the audience.

"But first, we have a special guest tonight." Someone in the back whistled in approval. "This beautiful lady has chosen to celebrate her eighteenth birthday with us." Cheers rumbled through the crowd. Elena's head spun around to Damon who was unable to conceal his mirth.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she exclaimed, her utterly shocked expression only rendering him more gleeful.

"Come up here, Elena!" the half-naked man on stage announced, followed by encouraging hoots from the women around the room.

"Hell, no!" she decided, crossing her arms and glaring at Damon.

"Don't forget your tipping money," he ignored her objection, reaching into her jacket and handing her one of her newly won hundred dollar bills.

"Oh, she's a minx, this one," the man on stage announced, a wide grin audible in his voice. "She wants the full service." A few girls around the bar whistled eagerly, making Elena dread the next words from the presenter. "Alright, Yuri, bring her up."

At that, lively music began to play and a spotlight fell onto the backstage door, revealing a stocky, overly muscular young man with a crew cut and gentle eyes, wearing nothing but a red thong. He started walking into her direction amongst the encouraging cheers and the occasional slap on the butt of the women in his path.

"I will never forgive you for this," Elena seethed, but Damon didn't look too worried. Suddenly the naked man stood before Elena and without another word leaned over and picked her up bridal-style, carrying her towards the stage with an unperturbed smile on his face.

"Oh my god," she mumbled, clasping a hand across her eyes, wishing to any higher power that may be to open the ground and let the earth swallow her up. No power seemed to listen, however, because after a short trip up a few steps, she was released from the bulging chest she had been pressed against and placed in a chair in the middle of the stage, cheered on by the spectators now at her feet, clutching the hundred dollar bill in her sweaty palm.

"Hello, birthday girl," the man with the microphone said in a seductive voice. "Welcome to the Chunky Monkey." And with that the speakers started blasting a new song with a heavy beat, chosen to perfectly accompany the dancer's convulsing pelvis as he started his routine by throwing his hat into the agitated crowd. He moved his hips in expert circular movements, moved his body in sensuous waves that were running through him seamlessly from the bottom to the top, thrust his groin provocatively, all to further animate the excited masses.

He was a beautiful man, Elena had to give him that. His muscles weren't obscenely pumped, like some of the others', he had a certain almost feline grace about him that made him look more like a dancer than a stripper, his slanted eyes – that she could see now that she was close enough – held a smart, cheeky look and his face was hypnotizing, all dark eyes, long lashes and high, chiseled cheek-bones.

After having riled up the audience to his satisfaction, he turned around and finally focused all his attention on Elena, much to her great discomfort. He danced in front of her in smooth, languid movements, accompanied by the driving bass and the jeering of the girls around them. Elena couldn't believe she was sitting on a stage while a nearly naked man basically ground against her. When, with one swift jerk of an arm, he removed his pants and stood before her in an equally as white thong, she flushed beet-red and her eyes shot over to where Damon was sitting. That devil. He, of course, was having the time of his life, watching her squirm uncomfortably.

"Touch him! Oh my God! Touch him!" an unidentified female to her right screamed enthusiastically. Elena's panicked eyes shot back to the body writhing in front of her at the very moment that the stripper grabbed hold of her hand and placed it on his chest, moving it lower, over lasered-smooth skin and across tightening muscles until she reached the scrap of white hiding his manhood from her. Scandalized, she drew her hand back quickly before he could move it any lower and stared into his face as he gave her a conspiratorial wink.

"Don't forget to tip the man," she heard Damon's voice call from the left and her head shot around so she could glare at him.

He grinned, still very pleased with the whole situation, and motioned with his hands for her to stick her money into the dancer's thong. She cursed him inwardly before turning her attention back to the pelvis circling in front of her. Carefully, she reached out for the thong, cautious not to touch anything she didn't want to touch, pulled back the cloth with one finger and tugged her hundred dollar bill behind it, releasing it again as quickly as possible. As it snapped back, it made a slapping sound against the stripper's taught skin and the man winked at her again before turning around and shaking his butt cheeks in front of her face.

That was it. Elena couldn't help it and broke out laughing. She turned again, seeing Damon take in the scene before him with eyebrows raised in surprise, and when their eyes met, he joined in with her laughter. Elena reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out another twenty dollar bill, pulling back the string again and fixing the money with it. After she let the cloth snap back, she stuck her tongue out at Damon defiantly.

Damon was riveted. Elena was obviously terrified, probably not used to being the center of attention this way, definitely uncomfortable with the nakedness and the provocative gestures, but she was also excited. He could tell. Her cheeks flushed red, not only from embarrassment but also from adrenaline pumping through her veins at the simple fact that she was daring enough to participate in something that her friends would frown upon. He saw the same excitement he had seen at the casino, the sheer joy at experiencing something for the first time – something scary. She wasn't bold like other women he knew – like Katherine – she didn't take charge of the situation, didn't control it with her own energy and sexuality. She overcame the initial shock and then took in the strangeness around her with wide, curious eyes. She longed for adventure, for life, for experiences – maybe not experiences such as lap-dances in strip-clubs, fine, but the way she got excited when facing the new and unknown was breathtaking.

"Everybody give it up for the beautiful Elena," the dancer announced then, as the song came to an end and the crowd cheered. For him, of course, Elena wasn't under any illusions, but when he reached for her hand to help her up gallantly, she accepted it and joined him in a small bow before the audience. He then swiftly led her back to her seat.

"Happy Birthday, pretty lady," he said with a killer smile as he sat her back down at the table with Damon and placed a kiss on her cheek before returning backstage.

"Now was that so bad?" Damon asked with an insolent grin.

"Worst ten minutes of my life," she retorted, pretty sure that that was true. The most humiliating, in any case.

"Oh, come on." He waved away her assessment. "I've been present during worse times in your life. At least you laughed."

"Yes. I hope you're very proud," she returned, trying her hardest to stay as indignant as possible.

"I am, actually," he replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I didn't even think I'd get you through the door, let alone onto that stage."

Elena stared at him in a mixture of anger, incredulity and suppressed laughter before standing up and grabbing her coat. "We're leaving," she announced and walked out of the heated room, followed by a chuckling Damon.

"At least now you know what all the fuss is about," he argued when they stepped into the quiet street.

"I have stripper oil on my hand," she returned, sounding properly scandalized, while raising her hand up to his face as if wanting him to inspect the damage he had caused.

"Yes, I make you do horrible things," he conceded with a roll of his eyes before grabbing her hand to pull her playfully into his arm as they crossed the street to where his car was parked. "Never a dull moment though, right?"

"Whatever you need to tell yourself," she quipped back, making him laugh.

"I thought you'd like Napoleon. I hand-picked him for you."

"You hand-picked my stripper?" she asked, throwing him a shocked look.

"I did. What did you think I was doing all of last week? I had to go through four strip-clubs before I found him"

"You went to all these strip clubs just for me?" she asked, in fake appreciation. "How selfless of you."

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," he shrugged before opening the door to the car for her.

"Where to next?" she asked as Damon settled into the passenger seat.

"Fell's Church," Damon replied and closed the door behind him.

"Really? Fell's Church? There's nothing there," Elena objected, unimpressed.

"There's something there," Damon returned without providing further information. "Drive."

* * *

><p>They were going down the road in silence, both looking at the darkness outside. The last time they had been driving in this car at night, the situation had be entirely different. Elena had just spent an emotionally exhausting weekend in Chicago and was looking forward to getting home and away from Damon for a while. They had reached a level on which they had been able to communicate but they were still a far cry from the friendship she now felt between them. She hadn't trusted him back then, not really, not with what was important. She did now. Entirely. She would follow him wherever he led her – even if that meant going to a strip club. Even if it meant driving to Fell's Church at five in the morning.<p>

"Thank you," she said, turning to him.

"For what?" he asked, seemingly torn from his thoughts.

"For this. For taking me out. I've never done anything like it and I'm having a great time."

"Despite the strippers?" he asked teasingly.

"Despite the strippers, yes," she admitted with a slight roll of the eyes.

"That's good," he smiled. "You seemed like you were in need of a good time."

"I was," she admitted, smiling back at him. "I was different before, you know."

"Before what?" he turned around to her.

"Before my parents passed away. Sometimes I think I'll never be able to go back to being that person. I want to, I just…"

"Why do you want to go back to being someone you were before?" Damon asked, his brows furrowed.

"I was more fun then. Now I'm always so… I don't know. My friends miss the old Elena. I can tell."

"Don't ever wish you could go back, Elena," he said, suddenly serious, making her turn towards him. "The past only holds one version of you. The future holds endless possibilities. You should always go forward. And I'm sure your friends like the new Elena as well. She's pretty spectacular."

A slight blush crept up her cheeks and she was hoping that it was dark enough in the car for him to not notice it. "Thank you," she said, keeping her eyes fixed on the road ahead.

"So, New Elena, what are your New Year's resolutions?"

"It's not the New Year," she commented, not sure what he was expecting from her.

"It's a new year for you," he said, still looking at her intently, waiting for a reply.

"I want…" she looked at him uncertainly, being met with nothing but patient curiosity. "I want to start painting again," she tested, looking at him quickly to gauge his reaction. He just looked back at her, an encouraging smile on his lips. "I want to figure out what I want to do with my life," she continued, a little more courageous now. "I want to spend more time with my brother," she added in a sure voice. "And I want…" she hesitated. She wasn't sure she was ready to admit this last point to anyone. Then again, there was no one she trusted more at this moment than Damon. "I want to be in love. Really in love. I mean, not butterflies, you know, but… airplanes."

He laughed lightly. "Those are very good resolutions." He nodded, turning back towards the countryside outside his window. "Turn off here," he said, suddenly seeing a gas station to their right.

Elena raised her eyebrows but didn't comment.

Once inside the rundown store, they wandered seemingly aimlessly through the rows of fluorescent-light lit candy and magazines.

"Licorice or caramel?" Damon asked, holding up two packs of candy.

"Caramel," she decided with a shrug.

Damon looked at the colorful boxes in his hand, a weighing expression on his face. "We'll get both," he finally decided before turning around and marching off into the direction of the alcohol.

* * *

><p>They finally reached Fell's Church. Elena was right. This town may be bigger than its neighbor Mystic Falls, but there was nothing here. After driving through the quiet streets for a few minutes, they had reached their destination. A flat concrete building was before them, surrounded by an enormous parking lot of which they were now the sole occupants. They stood in the middle of the vast space looking at the grey structure. Latino pop drummed up the street from a club a little further down the road.<p>

"So… this looks fun," Elena commented, looking at the miserable sight before her.

"Wanna go back to the strip club?" Damon suggested, already getting out of the car.

"So, what exciting new experience awaits me here?" she asked, stepping out as well and looking skeptically around the deserted parking lot. "Getting robbed for the first time?"

"That over there," Damon pointed towards the dull structure while grabbing a bottle of champagne and the candy from the back seat, "holds this county's administration. The county that Mystic Falls also belongs to."

"So?" Elena looked at him in confusion.

He came to stand next to her, provisions in hand. "Voter registration opens at eight am. So we have about an hour and a half to kill."

"You took me to get registered to vote?" She looked at him with wide eyes. She saw him hesitate for a second.

"Well, you said you wanted to make big life choices this year. Let the presidency be your first. Well, second. First, you have to choose between licorice and caramel." He held up the two options.

Elena just stared at him quietly for a second before grabbing the caramel box from his hand. Then she leaped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she whispered, holding him close.

"Elena Gilbert, more excited about voting than strippers. You're a true patriot." With that he scooted onto the hood of his car and leaned back against the windshield, patting the spot next to him with his hand, encouraging her to sit down.

With a smile, Elena climbed onto the hood and leaned back as well. "Well, here you actually let me make a choice. At the strip club you kind of took it away from me and made me touch a stripper."

"Not true," he said, wagging a finger. "You always have a choice, Elena. You can always say no and turn around and walk away. You should remember that."

"Aren't you just full of wisdom tonight?" she asked teasingly.

"Champagne?" he questioned as if wanting to change the subject. He unwrapped the cork and pulled at it until, with a loud bang, the cap burst from its glass confinement and shot into the night sky, followed by lazily bubbling champagne overflowing down the sides of the bottle.

Quickly, Damon raised it to his lips and drank the spilling liquid. Elena had to laugh, a loud, tinkling sound that reverberated across the empty parking lot. Wiping his champagne-coated hand against his jeans, he handed her the bottle with the other.

"Drinking's not an age eighteen thing, you know," she said in mock warning before taking a big gulp.

"It is in Mexico," he debated, shrugging and leaning back against the windshield.

"We're not in Mexico," she reasoned, leaning back as well.

"Sure we are," he claimed with matter-of-fact certainty in his voice. "We got the Mexican music." He waved vaguely in the direction of the nightclub emitting throbbing Latino beats. "We got the palm trees," he added, gesturing to the three-headed street lamps frailly illuminating small circles on the black expanse around them. She had to smile at the idea. "When you close your eyes, you can even hear the waves rolling against the beach," he whispered and Elena did as she was told, closing her eyes and hearing a faint rush carried to her on the wind.

"It's the highway," she said quietly.

"You're boring," he reprimanded, grabbing the bottle from her and taking a big gulp.

"Alright," she laughed, turning to take the bottle back. "We're in Mexico."

He smiled a proud smile and they moved, as if in unison, like they had a hundred times, so that his arm was stretched out under her shoulders and her head rested on his bicep. They sat quietly for a while, staring out into the darkness.

"Damon?" she finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" He had heard the apprehension in her voice. He knew that whatever was coming now was not going to be easy.

She took a deep breath. "I don't think I can help you get Stefan out." Damon didn't answer but only stared up at the sky. "He's not well, is he?" she asked.

"No," he replied before finally ripping his eyes from the night sky. "No, he's not," he agreed, looking down at her, into her questioning eyes.

"I thought he was getting better," Elena said quietly.

"He is," Damon reassured her. "He's just really angry right now. With me and with the world."

"You were really angry with the world, too," Elena contemplated.

"I was," he agreed quietly.

"What changed?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

He stared into the air before him, pondering her question for a while, before pulling her closer against him. "I don't know," he admitted. They were both quiet, both lost in their own thoughts. He had been so angry. He remembered it well – the rage he had felt – even though now he didn't feel like that time was a part of him anymore. The fury had been his instantaneous, unconscious reaction to the hurt he had felt at the loss of Katherine. It had swallowed him up and left nothing but excruciating pain. He remembered the pain, the agony with which it sliced through him every day of his life, remembered it turning into hate only so it wouldn't burn him up from the inside – remembered it, but couldn't understand it anymore. It had devoured everything, had made him lose his brother, his friends and his grip on life. But now, slowly, without him even realizing it, those things had become important again, most of all his brother. He wasn't sure how he would ever forgive himself for ruining their relationship. His life had become important again as well. He had forgotten that he had one but there it was, stretching out before him, filled with seemingly endless opportunities. He hadn't thought much about his friends, to be honest he wasn't quite there yet. The only one he had really been thinking about, other than his brother, had been Elena. Maybe he should call Andie. He missed her. He missed Aiden.

"Sometimes I forget to think about her," he admitted quietly, almost as if to himself. Elena raised her eyes to his face. "Katherine," he explained. "I used to think about her all the time. Now, sometimes I don't think about her all day."

"Is that a bad thing?" Elena asked carefully, not knowing how far she could venture into this territory.

"I don't know anymore," he replied tiredly. "I was so sure of so many things and now I don't really know anything anymore."

"You'll figure it out," Elena said with determination. "And so will Stefan."

"He's not going back on his confession," Damon revealed. "I spoke with Dr. Young. He feels that Stefan is making a lot of progress in therapy and Stefan has told him he wants to continue it. He doesn't want to go back to Chicago with Giuseppe. He has agreed to plead guilty and serve his time. Dr. Young is confident that his sentence will be reduced if Stefan agrees to further sessions with him."

"I think that's a good idea," Elena agreed.

"I don't know," Damon sighed. "My brother's another one of those things I thought I knew in and out and I now think I have not the faintest idea about. But he thinks it's a good idea so who am I to argue?"

They sat quietly, watching the sun rise slowly. It manifested in a bluish tint of the air at first and then seeped gradually into the horizon, purple, then pink and finally light blue, awakening colors all around them. Awakening birds, too, that started to flutter out of their resting places and greeted the warming rays with their high-pitched chirping.

A few cars joined them, one by one speckling the grey parking lot. Lights turned on inside the concrete structure before them, a single one at first, then another, a whole floor suddenly, and then it was eight and the doors opened and all of a sudden it was a new day.

* * *

><p>Elena awoke slowly as the gentle rocking stopped. "We're here, princess," someone murmured into her ear. She opened her eyes reluctantly, laboriously. Too little sleep was weighing down on her eyelids and fogging up her brain. She pushed herself off the surface she had been lying on. Leather. A leather jacket. Damon's leather jacket. She remembered now – she had registered to vote and then they had gotten a cab to take them home because she was still too buzzed from the champagne and too tired to drive. She had fallen asleep and only now woken up, in front of her house, curled up in Damon's arms.<p>

Tiredly she disentangled herself from him and stepped out of the car, blinking into the bright mid-morning sun before turning around to see him follow her as she started moving towards her house.

"I'm missing school," she chided when he caught up with her.

"Yep," he agreed, not seeming overly shook up by it.

"Totally worth it," she conceded with a grin, shoving her shoulder lightly into his. When they reached her porch, she fiddled with her keys. "Wanna come in for some breakfast?" she offered, suddenly reluctant to see him go.

He smiled at her but shook his head. "Nah, I'll get going. Let you get some sleep."

Elena nodded in acceptance. "Thanks… again…" she finally said, not knowing how to express how much this night had meant to her.

"You're welcome," he simply returned and leaned in to place a small kiss on her cheek. Elena's heart stuttered for a second. Did he linger? She couldn't be sure. It happened so quickly and all her senses were suddenly on overload. She could smell him all around her, could feel the stubble of his beard scrub lightly against her cheek and then the heat of his lips as they pressed against her skin for only the shortest of instants. And something inside her sparked – or leaped was maybe more like it – and when he pulled away, she could feel her body sway forward only a fraction, as if to follow him, as if to lean in, as if it wanted to be kissed, properly, on the lips. And for the second that she imagined that he didn't pull back she wondered if he wanted the same thing.

She jerked back, shocked at her own reaction, her eyes flying up to his instantly, searching for something. She wasn't sure what. Rejection, maybe? Or, worse, desire?

"Night," he said with a quirk of the lips and then he was gone, gone before she knew if he had felt it too. She followed him with her eyes as he limped back to the cab and got into it without sparing her another glance.

She grabbed her keys more tightly. She had wanted to kiss him. Badly. Had felt desire rush through her at the idea and had hoped – hoped desperately, she had to admit – that he wanted the same thing. And then he was gone and she was alone. Alone with a question: What did this say about her relationship with Sam?


	22. Chapter 21 WHEN YOUR MIND'S MADE UP

**A/N: **_Hi guys! Waves! Can you believe it? I managed to update! And with a big one, too. It's dedicated to my dear friend NyEspi. Happy very belated Birthday ;) This is being published today thanks to her. So everyone give her a hug :) Also, thanks so so much to everyone who reviews or sends me messages or chats me up on twitter ( ceruleanvixen). I really really appreciate it. Your kind words and encouragement are the reason I haven't given up on this despite crazy work stuff. _

_The title of this story is derived from the amazing song by the same name by the wonderful band "The Swell Season". Also, I do not own TVD or any characters, I just use them for my own writing pleasure (Dance, puppets! lol). Alright. Here we go. Get ready... ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>21. WHEN YOUR MIND'S MADE UP<strong>

"_He is someone else now, and however much he might resemble the person he used to be, he has been reinvented, turned inside-out, and spat forth as a new man."_  
>– Paul Auster, "The Book of Illusions"<p>

Soft music played, the murmur of voices speaking quietly, privately, surrounded her. Glasses clinked together, laughter trickled through the noise, a door swung open and a gust of delicious odors billowed into the dining room, accompanied by the clanking of pots and pans being shoved and lifted and put down again.

"This place is beautiful," Elena said with a warm smile, said it as her fingers entwined affectionately with Sam's. She looked at him across the table, looked at the sparkle in his eyes that was enhanced by the soft candle light, looked at his pleased grin and the way he slightly inclined his head.

She had decided to give her relationship with Sam the chance he deserved. The chance she deserved. Yes, she was attracted to Damon, there was no denying it. But things between them were too complicated. Too much could go wrong. And Sam was everything she had always wanted. He was handsome, he was sweet and he was considerate. She knew her parents would have loved him and that thought warmed her from the inside out.

Looking at him now, Elena was certain that this had been a good choice. They had just shared a nice dinner with easy conversation and they would surely have a nice time at the dance as well. She was looking forward to it, was looking forward to seeing her friends, all dressed up in pearls and feathers and crystals for the 20s Decade Dance. She was looking forward to dancing with Sam. He looked dapper in his suit with his hair parted formally and slicked back.

"Not as beautiful as you," Sam complimented. Elena smiled. It was a bit predictable but it was sweet all the same and she didn't want to be too picky when it came to receiving compliments.

"Caroline told me there's a staircase behind the restrooms that leads up to the roof and that the lock on the door is broken. One of the kitchen hands showed her a while ago. Apparently you have a spectacular view of the city from up there." She dared him with a mischievous smile on her face, "we should sneak upstairs."

She saw the hesitation in his eyes. "That sounds illegal," he reasoned.

Elena rolled her eyes. "Come on, it sounds like fun," she tried to encourage him.

Sam threw a calculating look in the direction of the lavatories. "We'll be late to the dance," he tried to sway her.

"So we'll be a little late," Elena returned a little exasperated. "Come on, it'll be fun. We can kiss under the stars…" She fluttered her eyelashes at him playfully.

He heaved one last sigh before throwing her a smile that let her know he'd given up. "Alright," he conceded. "Let's do it."

Elena's face lit up as she grabbed her coat and headed for the narrow hallway that led towards the bathrooms. As they snuck past the lavatories, trying to reach their destination, a door that looked like a supply closet and was marked with the word "private", without being seen, a burly looking man stepped out of the men's bathroom and threw them a suspicious look. When he had turned around the corner and disappeared into the bustling dining room again, Sam grabbed Elena's hand.

"This is a horrible idea," he warned, begging her with his eyes to change her mind. Elena, however, laid her hand on the door knob and turned it giddily. The door yielded and swung open into darkness. With a small cry of delight, Elena stepped into the narrow space and pulled a reluctant Sam in with her. Faint light illuminated the tiny corridor only enough to allow them to make out the stairs that spiraled towards the roof. It looked to be an old servants' staircase that connected the different floors at the rear of the apartment building.

"Come on," Elena urged and started climbing the steps, her heels tapping hollowly against the old wood, the shimmying tassels on her flapper dress rustling lightly. Her knee still bent a little stiffly and she couldn't jump or run, but her movability was getting a lot better.

"This is gonna end in a disaster," Sam muttered before following her up the stairs.

"Why are you being so negative?" Elena chided while continuing in her ascent. "Live a little."

"This is trespassing," came his explanation which only resulted in an eye-roll on Elena's part who was now thankful that her boyfriend was behind her and unable to see it. The doors to the other floors were chained off but when they finally reached the roof, Caroline's promise held true and the chain lay discarded on the floor.

Elena pulled the door open and was met with a mild breeze. She rushed out onto the flat roof, giggling lightly and reveling in the sensation of the still warm night air against her bare arms and legs. When she reached the small wall surrounding the edge, she looked out at the small town to her feet. It was indeed a beautiful sight. Mystic Falls wasn't big but to have it laid out at her feet made her nostalgic none the less. She didn't live far from the restaurant and she could see her house, could even make out the light in Jenna's window. There was her school and there the conservatory she had taken ballet classes at when she was little. She remembered her mom picking her up and twirling her around in her tutu in their living room. There was the pizza parlor her dad would take her and Jeremy to after one of her brother's little league baseball games. To her left she could see the dark expanse of the community pool where Caroline, Bonnie and her had spent so many Saturday nights during sophomore year, having climbed over the wall where a tree grew next to it and then having stretched out on the diving boards, talking about boys. Suddenly she felt warm arms wrap around her from behind and leaned back into the embrace.

"Car was right," Sam admitted. "It is beautiful up here." He dropped his head and blew a small kiss onto her shoulder.

"I'm not gonna say I told you so, but…"

"But you did tell me so. I know." He hugged her tighter before releasing her and grabbing her hand. "Come look at this," he said, now excited by their explorations as well. He pulled her to the side of the roof. The horizon was blackened by the forests surrounding Mystic Falls and at the woods' border laid the Lockwood estate, stretching out far into the outskirts of the small town. "I remember you guys coming over to our swimming hole and having parties there in the summer," he reminisced, his hand gently stroking her arm. "You were the cutest – even back then. You would climb onto the diving rock and pretend you were a princess, making all the boys fight over who got to rescue you." Elena blushed lightly at the recount of her childish antics. "You'd sit there and demand that a white knight save you and ride with you into the sunset on his noble steed."

"Ah yes, the good old times," Elena agreed bashfully, leaning into him.

"No times are better than these," he proclaimed, pulling her up to face him. "Because now I have you."

Elena smiled and before she could say anything in return he pressed their lips together in a sweet kiss.

Caroline had been right, Elena mused. The view over Mystic Falls was spectacular. She decided that she would have to take Damon up here sometime so she could show him all the places that had meant something to her when she was little, so she could share her memories with him.

"Hello?" They were suddenly drawn from their togetherness.

"Oh shit," Elena whispered and pulled Sam with her as she moved further away from the door. Luckily, they had moved to the side of the building, out of the doorway's line of vision, but whoever had just come to the roof would surely look around.

"Is anybody up here?" the voice asked again, the banging of the door as it fell shut underlining his words. "This is private property. You're trespassing," the voice shouted into the darkness.

Elena clasped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from giggling. Sam looked at her, eyes wide, before looking around for another way out.

"Sam," Elena whispered, catching his attention. "Fire escape." She pointed towards one of the metal ladders zigzagging from the roof to the street. It was the one nearest to them, but it was still about ten feet away. Quickly they tiptoed towards it, their eyes in the direction of their pursuer. Just as Elena was about to drop onto the grating, a short, stocky man peered around the corner. He stilled and then shone a flashlight in their direction. When the cone of light landed upon Elena, everyone was shocked into action.

"Come on," she yelled as she let herself drop down. Sam hurried to follow her. At the same time, the heavy-set security guard started hobbling towards them, breathing heavily.

"Stop right there," he yelled, the beam of his flashlight scurrying hectically across the roof.

Elena couldn't help the laughter bursting from her lungs as she rushed down the metal stairs, surrounded by the loud clanking of her own heels hitting the iron beneath her feet as well as Sam's steps right above her.

"Stop!" the voice yelled again from far above them. "Stop or I'll call the police!"

Neither Elena nor Sam heeded his warning and continued bolting towards the ground. Grunting from annoyance and exertion, the older man scrambled onto the wall and then dropped onto the fire escape with a loud thump. Laboriously he began his own descent, following the perpetrators.

Having reached the street, Elena sprinted around the next corner as fast as her heels and sore leg would allow her. She shouldn't be running, she knew, but the adrenaline rushing through her let any pain she might have felt fade away. She heard Sam jog behind her and the faint call of the security guard demanding one last time that they stop before she dashed around another corner, reaching a more populated street and letting herself get lost in the throng of people. With a grin fired by the rush she had just experienced, she turned around and looked at Sam. While she herself felt delighted and exhilarated, Sam was white as a sheet and stared at her with panicked eyes, following her hectically, throwing nervous glances back to where they had come from.

"Oh my god, that was hilarious!" Elena finally stated, coming to a halt and grabbing Sam's hand.

"Are you kidding me?" he spat, nothing but shocked disbelief in his eyes. "We almost got caught."

"But we didn't," Elena waved his concern away.

"But what if we had?" he persisted energetically.

"Why are you so freaked out?" Elena asked confused. "We went on a roof. We didn't steal the Hope Diamond."

"It was reckless," Sam maintained. "And you shouldn't be running with your leg."

"It was fun!" Elena threw her arms in the air in exasperation.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam demanded, now getting irritated. "That was freaking scary!"

Elena had to press her lips together to keep from laughing. "Well I like doing scary things sometimes," she said with a smirk, hoping she sounded appeasing.

"You like doing scary things?" Sam gaped at her. "What does that even mean?"

"I don't know, it's exciting," Elena tried to explain. Sam only looked at her in bewilderment. "It's… it makes me feel alive. It makes me feel strong, like I can overcome my own fears and limitations – like I can do anything if I only want to."

Sam watched her, scrutinizing her like a fascinating specimen under a microscope. "Elena I'm sorry, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," he finally stated.

Elena's smile faltered. The enthusiasm she had felt drained from her body, leaving behind a disquieting vacuum into which her heart dropped. "Excuse me?" she asked, too stunned to say anything else.

"You have to climb on someone else's roof to feel like you can achieve something in life? That's ridiculous."

Elena scrambled to find the right words, feeling completely blindsided by his sudden attack. "It's not about the roof," Elena began. "It's about challenging myself and doing things that frighten me and pushing myself." She looked up at Sam, hoping he would understand. He had to. How could he not, when it was something she felt so profoundly.

Something in Sam's eyes softened. "I know why you'd feel like you have to push yourself. You feel alone after your parents passed away, like you have to do it all on your own. But I'm here now. I'll take care of you." He reached his hand out to gently stroke her face but Elena flinched away from his touch.

"I don't want anyone to take care of me," Elena stated, feeling stronger in her opinion now. "I _want_ to challenge myself and I _want_ to push myself because it makes me feel strong and independent, and I like that. I'm not that girl on a rock anymore. I don't want a prince to come and save me. I want an adventure."

Sam looked at her with confusion in his eyes.

"And I want to be with someone who supports that." She looked up at him hopefully.

"I support you going on adventures, Elena, I do. Go travel, if you want. But I don't have to support you doing stupid things and making mistakes."

"What if I want to make mistakes?" Elena challenged, raising her chin defiantly. "What if I want to do stupid things?"

"Elena, don't be a child," Sam chided, getting annoyed.

"I'm not being a child!" Elena exclaimed, anger boiling up inside of her. "But I want to live my life to the fullest. And I want to be daring and I want to be able to make mistakes. I don't want to always have to behave properly so you can have a doll you can drag around on your arm."

Sam's mouth fell open as he gaped at her in shock. "You're being unfair," he stated calmly, only the hardness in his eyes betraying the anger he felt.

"You're right. I'm sorry," Elena relented, her fury leaving her. He was right. He hadn't demanded anything from her that warranted such a harsh accusation. But something had snapped inside her, a switch had been flipped. She realized, suddenly, that what she had said was true. She wasn't the girl she used to be. And she didn't want the same things she used to want. She had clung to Sam as she had clung to the image she had of her old self, because she had been too scared to move forward and try something new. She had remembered a time in her life when she had been happy and she had tried desperately to get back to that time. But it wasn't working. It couldn't work. She had changed. And trying to force herself back to the way she had been before was a futile exercise. She had to give up on the past and embrace the future; as scary as that sounded.

"Sam, I'm sorry. I don't think I can do this." She could see the anger in his eyes give way to sadness. "I'm not the girl I used to be and I feel like you want me to change back. But I can't. I don't want to."

"I don't want you to change," Sam tried but he could tell that the girl in front of him had already made her decision and nothing he could say would convince her otherwise.

"You're not asking me to, but you'd be happier if I were different – if I were back to being Princess Elena and Cheerleader Elena. But I can't do that, Sam."

He looked down and then back up at her face, a new calmness in his eyes. "I thought we'd go to the dance tonight and have a great time. I didn't think it would end like this."

Elena felt tears spring to her eyes. Sam was, essentially, a good guy. He deserved to be happy. And Elena wished she could have been the girl to make him happy. But she truly believed that staying with him would only delay their breakup. "Me neither," she said, her voice watery.

"Don't give me that whole 'let's stay friends' spiel, okay?" he asked, pulling his car keys from his jacket. More tears sprang to Elena's eyes. She really would like to stay friends with Sam. She hoped he might change his mind once the first bitterness had passed. "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No thanks, I think I'll walk."

Sam only nodded before turning around and walking back to where he had parked his car. Elena felt a frisson rush through her. She was on a busy street, surrounded by people, but suddenly she felt very alone. She wrapped her arms around herself and started walking into the direction of her home. This night certainly hadn't turned out the way she'd planned. She had planned on dancing and laughing a lot, on partying with her friends, like she used to. At the same time she felt liberated. She hadn't even known how much pressure she had felt weighing down on her shoulders until it had just now lifted off of them. And all of a sudden she felt like she could simply listen to her heart, figure out who she wanted to be, and then be that person. A residual sadness still pulled at her. Breaking up with Sam had been a relief but it also saddened her. She would miss him. And it also meant being all alone in the world again. Especially tonight, when all her friends were out together, dancing.

* * *

><p>When Damon opened the door, his eyes widened in surprise. "Elena," was all he could say, wondering at her disheveled appearance as she was standing in his hallway.<p>

He, of course, looked marvelous. His hair was still slightly wet from the shower he had to have taken not long ago. Slick locks were angling cheekily across his forehead. He was wearing dim gray slacks and a dark blue shirt that was still unbuttoned. Elena self-consciously wiped a strand of hair behind her ear. She knew she looked horrible. She'd been crying, her makeup was probably smeared and she was shivering because it had gotten quite cold by now and she had been wandering about aimlessly for the better part of an hour. Her glamorous strappy heels now dangled from her fingers after wearing them had gotten too painful.

"I didn't know where else to go," she explained tiredly. "I didn't want to go home and everyone else is at the dance."

"Why aren't _you_ at the dance?" Damon questioned before he took a step inside and held the door open for her to enter.

Without another word, Elena slowly trudged into his apartment and let her shoes drop onto the floor next to his couch. Then she stood still, uncertain of what to do next.

"Elena," she heard his voice behind her and when she turned around, their eyes locked and she could almost physically feel the concern emanating from his. Carefully, he let his thumb trail across her cheek to wipe away a mascara-stained tear. "What's wrong?"

Elena drew in a deep breath and dropped her eyes. "Sam and I broke up," she stated, inspecting the carpet around her toes. She could feel Damon pull her face up by her chin and slowly gathered the courage to look him in the eyes. They were warm, not as pitiful as they had been a minute ago, and a small smile played on his lips.

"Good for you," he said matter-of-factly before letting go of her face. "Tea?"

"Um… yeah," she accepted as he swiftly turned around and walked towards his kitchen-area, still limping slightly.

"Make yourself at home," he called over his shoulder while pouring water into a kettle. "I have to make a phone call."

Elena sat down on the couch and let her eyes trail across the headlines of the newspaper lying on the coffee table. Someone killed… some treaty signed… a new factory being built somewhere… her mind couldn't focus enough to let anything grab her attention. She let her eyes wander on across the window overlooking her town and the home entertainment center playing soft music at the far side of the room towards closed doors that led further into Damon's apartment; a bedroom, probably, and a bathroom.

"Hey, I'm so sorry, but I won't make it after all," she heard Damon's voice come faintly from where he was pulling cups from cupboards and teabags from tins. He had his phone tugged in between his ear and his shoulder. "Yeah. Bummer. I think I'm coming down with something… Mhm… Yeah, me too… Mhm… Sure, I'll call you." He pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the off-button before throwing it unceremoniously onto the kitchen console. "Or not," he quietly added, pouring the now boiling water into the cups and carrying them over to where Elena was sitting.

"I'm sorry, were you going out?" she asked, suddenly realizing that it was late on a Saturday night. Of course he would have plans. It was presumptuous of her to have come here. To her credit, she had tried her best to stay away. She had spent most of her energy not on thoughts about the breakup but on trying to convince herself to not walk over to Damon's apartment and ring on his door bell. But at some point her urge to see him had become too strong to fight.

"I was. And now I'm not," he simply stated, sitting down next to her. "You wanna talk about it? Or do you wanna get drunk?"

"Would it make you more comfortable if I said 'get drunk'?" Elena asked, letting her head drop against the backrest of the couch and inclining it so that she was looking up at him.

"Yes, much," he confirmed with a cheeky smile.

Elena smiled quietly before turning serious. "I just clung so much to what I thought I wanted that I didn't stop to think about what I really want."

"And what do you really want?" Damon asked, leaning back against the couch as well, looking at her intently.

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it? What did she want? Elena felt like she had lost herself along with her parents when they had died and no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't able to find her way back.

"I don't know yet. But I didn't feel like Sam was going to help me figure it out." She looked down at the cup of tea she was nursing in her hands.

"Don't worry. You'll figure it out," Damon said warmly.

"I don't even know what to tell my friends. They were all rooting for us."

"They're your friends. If you're happy, they'll be happy for you." He nodded encouragingly.

Elena glanced up at him doubtfully. "It's just that we had this whole evening planned, where we'd all meet up at the dance – the old gang – and hang out. They're probably all there, wondering where we are."

"They're probably not really wondering," Damon disagreed with a wink. "They might misinterpret though."

Elena slapped his leg chidingly before looking back down at her tea. "I didn't even get to dance", she murmured with a slight pout.

"Ah well," Damon began while setting his cup aside and laboriously getting up from the couch. "Now that just won't do." He stood before her and held his hand out to her invitingly, a sly smile on his face.

"Can you dance?" Elena asked hesitantly. "With your leg, I mean?"

"I can sway," he replied with a light shrug, his hand still extended towards her.

Elena smiled, appreciative of the gesture, appreciative of the effort he put into trying to make her feel better, appreciative of the hand he extended towards her, for her to hold onto among the whirlwind of emotions she felt storming all around her. She reached out for him and let him pull her up and against his body. Hesitantly, she let one hand rest on his shoulder while the other was held in the warm, reassuring grasp of his. His free arm circled around her and drew her towards him, her still cool body tingling instantly as the warmth radiating off him reached her skin and swiftly reached around her, wrapping her in his reassuring presence.

They swayed leisurely, quietly, both lost in thought, wrapped up in the slow, pulsing music and each other. Elena felt herself relax, felt her nerves settle, felt her fogged brain clear up, felt his skin against hers, warm and smooth and suddenly not merely soothing but also enticing. She felt her skipping and rushing and tumbling thoughts slowly calm down and focus – on Damon, his scent, his breathing, his presence, here, so close to her. An almost imperceptible laugh escaped her.

"What?" Damon asked, pulling back only slightly to look down at her.

"Nothing," she replied, smiling, still organizing her thoughts. Damon didn't insist but she could feel his gaze still upon her, inquiring silently. "Just..." she began again, unable to withstand his quiet scrutiny, "who'd have thought, right? – A few months ago – that you'd be the one to console me in my hour of need. Of all people..."

Damon scoffed. "What is that supposed to mean 'of all people'," he inquired, feigning irritation.

Elena smiled and shook her head. "Well a few months ago you hated me," Elena stated, not daring to look into his eyes, hoping she kept her tone light enough to not give away how much the idea pained her now.

Damon was quiet for a short while, staring at the empty space over Elena's shoulder, continuing to sway to the music. Every second that passed made Elena more uncomfortable. She shouldn't have brought it up. She shouldn't have ripped open their barely bandaged past. She felt the impulse rise up inside her to cling more tightly to him as if she could thus prevent him from pulling away again. "I never hated you," he finally spoke, his voice little more than a whisper.

A rush of relief swept through her, making her feel light-headed. She should shut up now, should make of this response what she wanted and not try to dig any deeper. She should be satisfied with this out he offered her, accept it and steer away from the painful memories and perceived insults, burying them where they belonged. But Elena couldn't do that. She had never been able to leave things unsaid, fears unexpressed, problems unsolved. "Oh, you didn't hate me back in Chicago?" she asked, aiming for nonchalance but fearing that Damon knew her well enough by now to not fall for her lighthearted tone. "It's okay, you can admit it."

"I didn't," Damon insisted simply, his gaze still directed at something invisible behind her.

"Oh come on," Elena persisted, like a dog with a bone, unable to let it go. "You didn't even want to sleep in the same bed as me then. You hooked up with that skanky receptionist." Her tone was harsher than she wanted it to be, but the memory of the betrayal she had – inexplicably, unjustifiably – felt that night cut into her sharply as she recalled the smell of the woman's cheap perfume on his skin as he had crawled into bed next to her.

He was quiet again and Elena wasn't sure if he was trying to avoid her question or trying to think of an answer. "Do you want to know a secret?" he finally asked, looking at her now. A challenging smirk had settled across his features as he looked at her, but Elena thought she could make out a hint of uncertainty behind the provocative grin.

"I do," she replied, raising her chin defiantly, looking him straight in the eyes.

His smirk grew into a real smile, one appreciative of the bold, daring look on her face.

"I didn't hate you," he restated the point he had already made. This time Elena didn't dispute him but waited for him to elaborate. "What I hated was that I didn't hate you." Elena couldn't control the frown that crept across her forehead. He was confusing her. "I wanted to. I wanted to hate you very much," he admitted, never seizing to sway with her to the music. "But I couldn't. I started liking you without even realizing it. That day…" he made a pause, as if to look for the right words. "You thought I was mad at you. But I was actually mad at myself." He paused once more and Elena tried to wait him out again, but this time she couldn't.

"When Charlotte and I came back to the room, I heard you laugh," she said, unable to hide the hurt in her voice. "But when I walked into the room you looked at me with such anger… I never understood what I had done wrong."

Damon sighed, obviously struggling with an internal battle that Elena couldn't understand. "I was telling her about you," he disclosed at last, plunging Elena into even more confusion. "I told Katherine she had a sister and I told her… I figured she'd like to know about you, so I told her everything I knew. That you were smart, that you didn't let me get away with anything, that you were kind…" he turned to look at her and Elena was startled by a sparkle she saw in his eyes, hinting at something deep and meaningful, reaching out to her and yet staying just out of reach. "I told her that I had never met a girl who could look at me with so much indignation." He smiled a cheeky smile. "And that you looked positively breathtaking in that dress you wore to the dance at the Lockwood Mansion. And that you are adorable when you try to hide how uncomfortable I make you." His grin had widened now and Elena felt a blush creep up her neck and cheeks. He chuckled lightly before his features suddenly darkened again and the mood suddenly turned serious once more. "And then you walked in and I realized that I had spent the whole time I had with Katherine… talking about you." Elena's eyes shot up to his but he was evading her gaze now. "And I felt like I had… betrayed her somehow. And I got angry with you for making me… stray like that. But really I was angry with myself. I had been so furious with Stefan for trying to replace Katherine with you and I felt like I was doing the same thing." Elena's head was spinning. She held onto him tightly, not daring to loosen her grip on him. "I couldn't sleep in the same bed as you that night… not because you reminded me too much of Katherine… but because you made me forget her."

Elena stared up at him, speechless. They had stopped dancing and were standing still, in the middle of his living room, clinging to each other, like they were both afraid to let the other go while at the same time Elena felt a vast distance between them. She understood now, why he had been cruel to her, why he had pushed her away. And for the first time she wished that she didn't have a sister, that she could have met Damon differently, that they could have met without a predetermined back-story, and discovered each other without the inevitable problems.

"And now?" she asked, imploring him with her eyes.

"Now…" he began but let the sentence hang unfinished in the air. He stared into her eyes as if he was searching for something in them and it made Elena feel helpless, not knowing how she could help him find it. She reached up and let her hand cup his cheek and when she saw him respond to her touch, inclining his head towards the caress almost imperceptibly, she leaned in, instinctually, until she was standing on her toes and then further, until her lips suddenly pressed against his, surprising them both. For a second Elena was shocked by her own boldness, shocked almost into stillness, until her brain caught up with her body. Then she felt his lips against hers, incomprehensibly so, felt his breath on her skin, felt his hand still clasping hers, immobile like her. And then she felt him move, suddenly, felt him pull her against his body, felt his lips press back against hers, felt his hand dive into her hair and pull her up, felt him open his mouth, hungrily, and she responded, shocked into action by the sensation of his tongue against hers, wrapping her arms around his neck, wanting to bring him impossibly closer.

And suddenly everything that had seemed difficult before was easy. Knowing what she wanted was easy – she wanted Damon. Desired him. Her whole body was alight with it. There was no hesitation. She wanted to sleep with him. Suddenly, understanding what had been wrong between her and Sam was easy as well – he wasn't Damon. The realization hit her heavily, slamming into her with a force that almost took her breath away. She was surprised but she wasn't astonished. It made perfect sense to her. He was around her and inside her even when he wasn't. Inside her mind and inside her heart and nothing she or anyone else could say or do could change that. As if through a fog she heard the music still playing somewhere far away and it reached at her brain, asking the questions that her friends would ask her if they were here.

_I tried so hard to let you go_

_But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole_

_I have finally seen the light_

_And I have finally realized what you mean_

_And now I need to know is this real love_

_Or is it just madness keeping us afloat?_

_- Muse "Madness"_

_Is this just madness?_ It sang. _Will this swallow you whole?_ And Elena knew all the arguments against what she was doing, had perfected them and retold them over and over again. But they didn't matter now. Nothing had ever felt as right as holding Damon in her embrace did right now.

In Damon's brain, neurons were relentlessly firing signals, like exploding firecrackers. The way she smelled, the way she tasted, the way her skin was unbearably smooth against his fingers, the way her arms clung to him covetously. He was taken completely off-guard. She had been with his brother and then with that guy from the hospital and yes, Damon was of the opinion that both of them were not worthy of her and that she deserved better, but he had believed that she liked the Sam guy. And in any case, despite their obvious, mutual attraction, it had been abundantly clear to him that Elena would never consider Damon a serious option. She had barely been able to forgive him for what he had done to Caroline and even Stefan. They had built a shaky friendship and they had gotten closer but he had never been under the illusion that this friendship wasn't born out of the shared trauma, that – even though she denied it – she still felt some sort of obligation towards him because she believed he had saved her life. And he had been lonely and she had been there and he had actually enjoyed her being there, which had surprised no one more than himself. But he had always been certain that they could never be what the other needed. They were too different in what they wanted, what they expected, what they desired. Yet here she was, clutching him, kissing him with all that hidden passion and breathing out those soft moans that had him ready to beg at her feet.

His body was already responding to hers, not heeding his mind's doubts. She was altogether too unfathomably amazing to not give in – the way her hand held the back of his neck softly yet possessively, the way her lips and tongue tasted him curiously, the way she let go of her constant reservations and hesitations in his arms, relinquishing her control and trusting him. He couldn't remember ever feeling like this with a woman, not even Katherine. He could feel his heart shrink away from the idea. Katherine had been everything to him. But she had been nothing like this. He didn't want to compare the two girls but was unable to stop himself. Their eyes were the same shade of brown, their lips equally plump and their low voices shared the same timbre. Yet kissing Elena felt nothing like kissing Katherine had. Their lovemaking had been a constant struggle for dominance. It was playful and sensual, but it was a fight. He had relished it at the time, had thought her the only woman able to keep up with him, his perfect match. But now he realized what their lovemaking hadn't been. It hadn't been making love. Elena was pliant in his arms, yielding, yet she wasn't weak. Instead the way she gave in completely disarmed him. It made him want to relinquish all fighting and surrender to her – to how she made him feel.

But it couldn't be true, could it? They had become important parts of each other's lives, but he had assumed that it was more of an accident, a strange kind of luck that had stuck them together, not really the shared values and memories that supposedly form friendships. And it certainly hadn't seemed to him like it could be love. Right now, she was hurt. She had broken up with her boyfriend and hadn't had anyone else to turn to and in his lonely state he had succumbed to his desire and was grasping at the straw she was dangling in front of him. He could have her tonight and lord knew he wanted her, but morning would come and as surely as the sun would rise, she would regret this, and he couldn't bear the idea of being the reason for her shame and regret.

"Stop," he said, needing all his willpower to let go of her. Her eyes turned up to his, swimming with an onslaught of emotions – confusion, uncertainty and definitely lust. It was enough for him to want to let all consequences be damned and kiss her again, but he couldn't – as always, being his own worst enemy. "This isn't what you want."

"It is," she assured him immediately, supporting her claim with a vigorous nod.

Damon shook his head tiredly and took a step back. Elena felt the loss acutely. The last minutes of her life had been perfect – for the first time in years – and Damon's distance now threatened to throw her world off its balance again and plunge it into even worse turmoil.

"I'm not gonna be your rebound, Elena."

She stared at him in shock. Of course he would think that. She would think it herself, if what she felt wasn't so much more powerful than mere _comfort_ or _reassurance_. "You're not," she insisted, taking a step towards him, needing to close the gap between them, as if physical proximity could automatically overcome the emotional distance she feared.

"I'm not offended, Elena," he said with a smirk, turning away and walking over to his drinking cart to fill up a glass. "I get it. I'm the perfect rebound guy. But I know you'd regret it, so… let's not." He took a gulp from his drink and then walked over to the stereo to change the music – anything to keep busy and not stand in one spot, like an idiot, waiting for her to leave.

"Damon," she tried, wanting him to stop moving and look at her already. This was all going horribly wrong. But the more he objected, the more certain she was of her feelings. "Damon," she called again, a bit more forcefully now. When he still didn't react, she walked over to him and grabbed his hand, making him turn around and focus on her. "Damon, I get that this seems sudden but I…" Elena began to blush. How could she make him understand what she wanted when she herself didn't fully understand it? She _felt_ it, felt it profoundly, deeply, unshakably, more strongly than anything she had felt since the pain over her parents' passing had numbed her. But she wasn't even able to articulate it in her own mind. The only thing she knew was that these past months, her feelings had always been muddled and unclear, had been laced with fear and uncertainty, had warred with what she knew and what she thought she knew. But not now. She may not have been able to put into words what she felt but she knew with absolute certainty what she wanted. "I want to be with you." She looked up at him, a mixture of elation at having finally said it out loud and anticipation at what his reaction might be, swimming through her.

Damon stared back at her, unable to form a response. His body had completely stilled now, only his eyes were jumping across her face, panicked, looking for something that would explain this sudden declaration to him. "What?" he finally croaked out, his voice raspy.

"I…" Elena's mind was racing. How could she make him understand what he meant to her? How could she define it for herself? Her heart rate was picking up, her palms were getting sweaty. He looked at her with confusion and, she thought, hurt as well, and all she wanted to do was find a way to tell him how much he had impacted her life. And that she finally understood now, what he had meant when he had told her she didn't have to go back to who she had been before. She realized that her relentless struggle to make it work with Sam had been a desperate endeavor to change herself back. She realized now that she had blamed Sam for her own misguided effort. But it didn't change their situation. He had liked her for who he remembered her to be and she had liked him for reminding her of who she had been. But the truth was, she wasn't that girl anymore and in this very moment that thought made her calm and happy for the first time. She realized that finding herself didn't have to be a fight. She just had to allow herself to listen to her heart. And right now her heart was telling her one thing. "I love you, Damon," she whispered, and as soon as the words left her lips, she clasped a hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she had blurted it out, only because it had welled up inside her and rushed out of her like an uncontrollable wave. She couldn't find it in herself to regret the statement, however. It was true. It was how she felt – what she knew – the only thing she was certain of right now. And she was not going to let herself talk her out of it anymore.

Something inside Damon constricted so strongly that it took his breath away for a second. The last girl to say these words to him had been Katherine. And he had needed to hear them so desperately back then, he couldn't say now whether he had actually believed them at the time or had only wanted to believe them. Hearing them now shook him. What did they even mean from someone else? What was Elena saying exactly? How much of herself was she offering up to him with these words and how much of him was she willing to take in return? "You do not," he whispered, more to himself than to her. He saw tears spring into her eyes.

"I do," she simply returned, as if it were a given, an obvious fact that he had simply missed before now. "I just didn't believe it myself," she tried to explain. "I tried to fight it, even. But I can't anymore. It is too inevitable." She saw the fear in his eyes, the shock and the terror. But she also believed to see something else, and she didn't care if she was deluding herself, she believed she saw hope. "I love that I feel safe with you," she began, letting her hand cup his cheek and drawing encouragement from the fact that he didn't pull away. "I love that you always manage to make me smile, no matter how unhappy I am. I love that you try to make me find myself. And that you make me stand up for myself. I love that you push me and make me reevaluate my choices and my ideals. I love that you make me discover something new about the world every day." She looked at him, tears still shimmering in her eyes. "I love that eye thing that you do." She couldn't help but laugh, squeezing a few of the gathered tears out of the corner of her eye and letting them roll down her cheek.

Damon smiled lightly. "What eye thing?" he asked with a smirk, lowering his eyelids only a fraction. Elena laughed again, causing another tear to run down her cheek. And suddenly she felt his skin against hers, only for a second, as his thumb wiped away the salty drop.

Her eyes shot up to his and were met by a sudden calmness. "And I know what you want," she said, her voice determined now. "You love me, too."

Surprise and amusement shot across Damon's face. "Oh yeah?" he asked. "And how do you figure that?"

"Because you spent a whole week planning my birthday," she started, gaining more and more confidence as she spoke. "Because you know me so well, you came up with the perfect gift. Because you always pretend like you don't like to be around people, but you like to be with me. Because you tell me things you don't tell anyone else. Because you blew off that skank to drink tea with me." Damon chuckled lightly. "Because you…" she fumbled for words, not sure how far she could go. "Because I see the way you look at me," she stated, raising her chin defiantly.

"Cocky much?" he asked, a smirk masking any emotion.

"Oh please," Elena said, her voice so strained it was barely above a whisper. "If you want to be a liar, Damon, at least strive to be a good one."

Something in Damon's eyes changed. They attained a certain daring glimmer, a hint of mischief and also a sudden possessiveness. "You don't know what you're asking for," he claimed, pulling her face up by the chin so she was only inches from his.

"I do," she replied, her voice low but confident. "I've seen you at your worst and I've seen you at your best. And what I don't know yet, I want to learn. All of it."

His gaze bore into her, scrutinizing her as if looking at her hard enough could make her confess an imagined treachery. "What if I go back to Chicago?" he asked, testing how serious she was, how far she had thought this through. "What about your friends? What will they say?"

She returned his dissecting stare with equal intensity. She couldn't blame him for distrusting her statement. She had denied to herself long enough. But now that she had admitted it to herself, she wouldn't allow him to question her out of her certainty. "I don't care about any of that," she replied with unshakable conviction. "The only thing I care about is whether you feel the same."

"This morning you were still in love with that guy from the hospital," Damon accused, his hesitation increasingly aggravating Elena.

"No I wasn't. I just wanted to be. There's a difference," she returned.

"Oh you love me but you don't want to?" Damon began another objection, being immediately cut off by Elena.

"God, Damon, don't be such an idiot! Either kiss me or kick me out already!"

A gleeful smirk rushed across his face. Nothing in the world was more enticing than Elena when she became passionate. And then, suddenly, he pulled her in, and his lips were on hers again. And the same burst of energy he had felt before surged through him, an energy that seemed to lift him up, right all wrongs and make everything easy that used to be difficult. He remembered how good she had felt, curled up against his body, when they had involuntarily woken up in each other's arms that morning in Chicago. He realized how often since then he had wanted to touch her but hadn't. He noticed how hungrily his body reacted to hers, suddenly feeling unable to go another day without her near him. Touching her, kissing her, holding her – it was heaven and he didn't know if he would ever be able to let her go again.

In a matter of seconds holding her wasn't enough. Now that he had her, he wanted all of her. He picked her up – their lips still locked, their kisses turning more passionate by the second – and draped her legs around his waist. She held onto him tightly, both arms wrapped firmly around his neck, her ankles locking behind his back, as if she could draw him into her if only she clung to him fast enough. Incredible, he thought, how much his life had changed in a matter of minutes. It hadn't really changed yet, but it would. Fundamentally. Her friendship had already moved mountains. What – he wondered – would her love be able to do?

They stumbled into his bedroom, feet tripping over carpets, hands pushing at doors, but neither letting go of the other. And then they were on his bed, in a heap of tangled legs and flying arms, fighting with clothing and straining to keep kissing – lips and necks and any bit of skin that was available to be kissed.

When Elena rolled them over and straddled him, her legs on either of his sides, her dress already off and flung far away, her eyes boring into his, a sudden calmness overcame him. He stopped his frenzied movements and stilled to contemplate her in all her astonishing glory. He had thought he would remember her curves from when he had touched another body exactly like hers. But that wasn't the case. Nothing about her made him recall Katherine. He believed that he wouldn't be able to conjure up her smile, even if he tried. "Now this…" he began, wanting to say how utterly unexpected and marvelous it was that she was in his bed, but unable to find even the simplest words. Instead he lifted his hand and let it slowly glide across her lace-covered breast, the skin over her ribs and finally the smooth expanse of her stomach.

Elena shivered under his touch. She didn't think she had ever done anything as scary as giving herself to Damon Salvatore. She didn't think she had ever felt as alive either. His body heat radiated against her thighs, exciting her. The idea of pulling his clothes off his body, of running her hands across his skin, of feeling him respond to her touch, electrified her. All the forbidden desires she had pushed away and all the lustful dreams she had denied herself, came rushing back, enveloping her in a surreal haze. There was a hunger in his eyes that made a burning heat crawl up her spine – a hunger that threatened and promised to consume her. But there was also something else and she believed that that something was love – believed it enough to not care whether she was right or not.

Damon sat up and wrapped his arms around her, enclosing her in the warmth and safety of his embrace, dropping kisses on her shoulder and her neck.

"I love you," she breathed again, elated at being able to tell him, as she tilted her head to claim his skin with her lips. Damon pulled back and turned her face towards his, staring into her eyes with an intensity that made her senses plunge into oblivion, unable to focus on anything but his gaze. She hadn't said it to elicit a response; she had said it because telling him made her heart soar. But he looked at her like he wanted to respond and since he wasn't objecting, the anticipated possibilities of what he might say were making her light-headed.

She was shocked out of her daze by the chiming of her phone somewhere amongst the tossed clothing on the floor.

"Don't you dare answer that," Damon growled, still staring powerfully into her eyes. Elena shook her head. Nothing in the world could have made her answer that phone call. Their moment was gone, however, and as the ringing subsided, Elena feared that the silence around them might manage to pull them apart again. So before Damon could say another word, she leaned back in, kissing him, holding him fast, until she felt him kiss her back reassuring her and allowing her to relax again.

Just then another noise started up, fainter, coming from the other room. Elena drew back for a second and looked at Damon quizzically. "My phone," he stated with irritation in his voice.

"If I don't get to answer mine, you don't get to answer yours," Elena smirked before leaning back in to plant light kisses behind Damon's ear and against his jawline.

"No objection here," he murmured, his mind already far away from the offending piece of technology in his kitchen.

When Elena's phone started ringing again, both of them drew back and stared at each other, both wrinkling their foreheads in concern.

"Maybe it's important," Elena pondered with a light shrug of her shoulder.

"Who would call both of us?" Damon wondered, his mind slowly clearing.

"Maybe something happened to Stefan," Elena suggested and leaned over to fish her phone from where it rang incessantly on the floor.

"Hello?" she answered as she let herself drop back into the same position she had been in before, kneeling across his lap.

"Oh hi!" she exclaimed with a smile across her face, reassuring Damon enough to let him lean back and allow his thumb to draw lazy circles across her hip bone. Elena giggled lightly and playfully shoved at the offending hand, only provoking Damon to continue. Until, suddenly, her face fell and her hand grabbed his more forcefully, effectively stilling it in its movement. "Oh my god," she whispered, causing his eyes to shoot up towards hers, searching them for any sign of what was being said but she evaded his gaze, staring at their hands where they were entwined on top of her thigh and listening to the voice on the other end of the line.

"Of course," she said, her voice sounding so dead it made a frisson of worry crawl up Damon's spine.

"No, I'll tell him," she continued, still not able to meet his eye. "Yeah. See you soon."

She clicked the phone shut and let the hand holding it drop down lifelessly.

"What's wrong?" Damon questioned, pushing himself up and cupping her cheek to turn her face in a way that would make her look at him again. When their eyes met he was shocked by the fear and desolation he believed to see in them. Panic slowly bloomed in the pit of his stomach and reached up around his heart. He couldn't bear seeing her in this catatonic state. "Elena," he called again, grabbing the back of her neck to shake her alert. "Tell me what's wrong!"

A pained smile suddenly curved her trembling lips. "No, it's good news," she pressed out, trying desperately and failing miserably at a light tone. "Katherine woke up."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Dying to hear what you think. Happy Sunday everyone! *hugs all around*_


	23. Chapter 22 ANGEL OF THE MORNING

_A/N: Hello there, loveliest of all the lovely people! :) Thank you all so much for being so patient with me! And thanks to everyone who takes the time to drop me a review or a dm. I really appreciate it so much! Before we start, let me just restate that - through some horrible injustice - I do not own the Vampire Diaries. Alright, here we go :)_

* * *

><p>22. ANGEL OF THE MORNING<p>

Elena was miserable. Something had happened last night, something amazing and unforeseeable and life-changing. And now it had all been ruined by one phone call. She had seen it in Damon's eyes then, the shock and the regret. She felt like he had instantly withdrawn from her. Not physically at first, but emotionally he seemed to be gone right away. When she had finally found the strength to move away from him without tears threatening to fall, he sat up and pulled on his shirt immediately, buttoning up and running a hand through his hair, smoothing it over, fixing everything her frenzied hands had undone only minutes earlier. He had looked at her then, sadness and nervousness in his eyes – maybe even an unspoken apology, she thought.

"Elena," he began, looking like he wanted to say much more. But right then Elena didn't think she would be able to hear what he had to say without crumbling.

"Let's talk later," she said, holding up one hand to stop him from speaking, praying that he would agree and also praying that at some point she would be strong enough for this conversation.

"We should…" she began and then trailed off, knowing what they should do but loathing the very idea of it. "Get going," she finally concluded, grabbing the sheet from his bed and pulling it up to cover her breasts, waiting for him to leave the room so she could get dressed. Suddenly she felt ashamed. Ashamed of her confession, ashamed of her desire, ashamed to be sitting in front of him in nothing but her underwear while he was probably wondering how he could get rid of her without her causing a scene.

"Uhm yes, I'll call a cab," he agreed, rubbing his neck uncomfortably before leaving the room.

Elena glared at the clothes that were haphazardly strewn across the floor – a testament to everything she had believed her life could be only minutes ago, a testament to her delusion and to her insufficiency. Angrily she pulled her dress back on, trying her hardest to push down the feeling of humiliation that was threatening to rise up inside her.

Elena felt horrible. She knew how desolate her life had been after her parents' death and she knew how devastated Damon had been by Katherine's accident. To lose a person and have fate give them back to you was a miracle and she wanted to be happy for him. And it would give her the chance to meet and get to know her sister. She really wanted to be happy about that, too. But she couldn't fight the misery that was spreading through her.

She had only just realized what she felt for him, what possibilities being with him could open up to her, how amazing her life could be if she only let it. And now she didn't feel like she was given a sister, she felt like a stranger she had only ever heard of in exaggerated fairy tales took the person from her she believed she loved more than anyone else. She was caught between the desire to be there for him – to be happy that he was happy – and the desolation that was fast encroaching upon her heart at the thought of losing him. She knew it was selfish of her but she couldn't stop the cold hard feelings of possessiveness and anger at the felt injustice from rising up inside her.

"The cab's here," Damon called from the next room and Elena grabbed her purse indignantly before walking out into the living room, towards a new morning – a new day – that she wished was already over.

There was no road trip this time, no comfortable silences, no uncomfortable fights, no getting to know each other, no surprising talks. While Elena wished to postpone the inevitable as much as possible, while a road trip would have been perfect – giving her at least a few more hours with him – she knew that they couldn't waste these hours, that they had to hurry and get to Chicago as quickly as possible. She felt incongruent, running towards something she never wanted to come to pass. Instead of the road trip there was a quick cab ride to the airport and then strained wandering around book shops and coffee lounges until they could board the first flight to Chicago just as the sun turned the sky pink. Elena sat by the window, staring at the sunrise with contempt. It was beautiful and hopeful, cresting everything in a promising sheen of gold and pastels. She wished it could be raining instead, so at least the world would seem to grieve with her and not mock her despair with new beginnings.

Then there was a flight full of silence – a break through thin white clouds that momentarily removed Elena from the world and suspended her in a non-place of bright sunlight before plunging again through another fluffy barrier and dropping her back into reality – a reality called Chicago; a reality in which Damon would never love her.

Throughout the flight Damon held her hand, somewhat absent-mindedly holding onto her, his fingers inattentively caressing the same spots in-between her knuckles while his eyes gazed into the distance, unfocussed. Elena wanted to cling to his hand, wanted to wrap his arm around her to simulate a sense of belonging, wanted to grab his face and turn it towards her and force him to look into her eyes, wanted to will him to kiss her and love her still. But it was of no use, she knew. Yes, he held her hand, but she wouldn't allow herself to be deluded into believing that it meant what she wanted it to mean. She understood that he felt alone, small under the tidal wave of developments and questions and hopes that was crashing over him, and that he needed to hold onto something to not be dragged under by the current. And her hand was there to be held onto, nothing more. The best she could do was to be there for him, to allow him to find support in her presence, to let him cling to her so he wouldn't break before reaching his destination.

Then there was another cab ride, through bustling, busy streets now, to a hotel that was located right next to the hospital. He didn't know how long they would be staying, he said. He wanted to get a room just in case, he said. And Elena nodded simply, resigned to following where fate led her, giving up her illusions of self-determination. She had taken the step to grab what she wanted, to choose her own destiny, and it had been ripped away from her immediately. For some reason life wanted her defeated and she felt like she had lost the strength to struggle against it.

Another hotel, another reception, another pretty girl who eyed her with disdain and smiled friendly at Damon.

"We have no double rooms left," the girl replied sweetly to Damon's request. "I can give you two singles, though," she offered with a helpfulness that Elena was sure was an act.

"That's fine," Damon agreed and pushed his credit card across the desk. Elena felt laughter and tears well up inside her at the same time at the irony of it all. Thinking back to the horror she had felt at having to share a room with Damon their first time in Chicago, it was now matched by the despair she felt at being separated from him.

They were back at the hospital, finally – rushing through antiseptic hallways, only nodding towards the nurse who hadn't wanted to let them through last time and who was looking at them with wide, sympathetically snooping eyes now, towards the room of the girl that was no longer sleeping.

At last they were standing in front of the closed door, inexplicably hesitating. Elena waited, feeling like it wasn't her place to walk into the room first and wondering why Damon was standing there, staring at the door knob he only needed to push down to finally be reunited with the woman he had missed for over a year. She could feel his grip on her hand tighten, could hear his breathing go slightly flat, could see his jaw clench. He turned towards her then and suddenly, unexpectedly, pressed a quick kiss to her lips, one that Elena wanted very much to be a reassurance but that she supposed could just as well be a goodbye. And then he turned away from her again and knocked on the door.

Moments of silence and immobility passed – moments in which Elena imagined what Katherine would look like, standing in the open door and greeting them. She imagined her mirror image but with a sultry smile, with a luxurious, self-assured sway to the hips, with a sensual, promising glint to the eye, with a coquettish tilt to the chin. She wondered what it would be like to look into her alert eyes for the first time. Would it feel like looking at a sister? Would it feel like looking at a stranger? Or would it feel like looking at the enemy – an unknowing adversary whose mere existence thwarted her dreams. She swallowed. She had no right to feel this way. If anything, she was the hindrance, the rival. She could be thankful if Katherine still welcomed her as a sister after everything.

When the door opened, however, it wasn't Katherine who smiled at them tiredly, it was Charlotte. And Elena was actually glad that she was granted a few more minutes of reprieve before she had to face the perfected version of herself they were here to see.

Her mother closed the door behind herself before pulling Elena into a tight embrace, causing her to let go of Damon's hand. "Thank you for coming," she breathed, her arms crushing her daughter to her chest.

"Of course," Elena returned, not wanting to sound as distraught as she felt. Charlotte withdrew and smiled at her fondly before turning to Damon and caressing his cheek tenderly.

"And you, my boy. Thank you," she said and then pulled him in as well, enclosing him firmly in a motherly hug.

"I'm so glad, Charlotte," he assured her before pulling away. "How is she?"

"Good," she replied instantly but paused afterwards as if to reevaluate her assessment. "A little disoriented and overwhelmed."

Damon and Elena nodded. It was to be expected. She had lost over a year of her life.

"But she remembers?" Damon asked, nervously rubbing his hands against his jeans.

"Yes. Everything," Charlotte confirmed. Damon nodded, his eyes skipping from Charlotte's face to the door behind her to his toes. "I, uhm…" she began again, turning regretful eyes towards Elena. "I was thinking maybe Damon could go in alone at first. So she can find her way back step by step."

Elena nodded understandingly. "Of course," she said, relieved to be spared the meeting for now but at the same time dreading to leave Damon alone with Katherine.

"I told her about you," Charlotte added hurriedly. "I just think it would be better to ease her into it. Have her meet someone she knows first. Maybe the two of us could grab breakfast."

Elena nodded again, too tired to muster up artificial enthusiasm.

"Alright, well, go ahead," she encouraged Damon with a smile, stepping away from the door to make room for him. "We'll be in the cafeteria."

He nodded and shot Elena a look she had no hope of interpreting before he stepped into the room.

"Hey kitten, welcome back," Elena heard his voice as he walked away from her, a smile in his tone, his words burning deeper than a slap across her face could.

"Hey lover, welcome home," came the answer – in her own voice but from the opposite direction.

Then the door fell shut.

"Let's go get food," Charlotte said with a compassionate smile, draping her arm around Elena's shoulders. The girl nodded, swallowing around the lump that was burning in her throat.

* * *

><p>"So how are <em>you<em> doing?" Charlotte asked as they sat down with a cup of coffee and a sandwich in the bustling cafeteria.

"Good," Elena answered with an unconvincing smile. "Still trying to catch up with the news."

"Yes, it's quite the shock. Even the doctors weren't expecting it," Charlotte agreed, sipping on her coffee.

"A good shock, though," Elena made haste to add. "I'm so happy."

Charlotte smiled understandingly. "That's very nice of you to say." Elena's heart contracted. She wanted to be happy so badly and yet pain was all she felt. "So you and Damon are together now?" Charlotte asked suddenly. Elena's eyes shot up to meet her mother's, embarrassed heat flushing her cheeks. The older woman breathed out a short laugh, her eyes softening. "I'm happy for you, Elena. You've both been through a lot. If you can make each other happy, that's a good thing."

Elena stared down into her cup of black, swirling liquid. "Well, I don't know what we are now."

Charlotte nodded. "Well, what do _you_ want?" she asked, stirring the contents of her cup absent-mindedly.

Elena shrugged helplessly. "I want to want for him to be happy," she finally squeezed out, trying not to let the tears show that were lurking in the corners of her eyes.

"That's very noble of you," Charlotte said, causing Elena to scoff. "And what does Damon want?"

Elena shrugged again, not so much because she didn't know but because she didn't want to put her fears into words. "He loved her," she said quietly.

"And now?" Charlotte questioned.

"I don't have the slightest idea."

* * *

><p>After another hour of catching up with Charlotte, Elena decided to go back to the hotel. The lack of sleep and the excessive adrenaline rush that had fueled her for the past hours were taking their toll on her and sitting still now, no amount of coffee was enough to stop her body from shutting down. She would have liked to see Katherine, if only to reconcile her imagination of her with an actual person, but she didn't know how long Damon would be in the room with her and when it would be okay for her to join them. Instead she decided to get some rest and a shower and give her sister and herself another day of getting used to the way the world was now before trying to forge a bond between them.<p>

Having taken a shower, she felt considerably better and after a look at her phone told her that not only her family but also her friends had been frantically trying to get ahold of her all morning, she postponed her plans of catching up on some sleep and first phoned Jenna to reassure her guardian, before dialing Bonnie's number for some much needed girl-talk.

After only a single ring, she was greeted with: "Oh my God, where are you?"

"Sorry Bon, I'm okay," Elena tried to appease her friend.

"You didn't show up to the dance. And then you didn't answer your phone. We got really worried," Bonnie chided.

"I know. I'm sorry. I…" Where to start? "Sam and I broke up."

There was silence on the other end of the line. "I know…" Bonnie finally spoke, a lot calmer now. "We heard. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. It didn't feel right, being with him." She sighed and dropped down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The past 24 hours had been such a whirlwind of emotions and development that stopping and talking about it felt great, like she could take ahold of what was happening to her again.

"Where are you?" Bonnie asked. "Do you want us to come over?"

"No, I'm… us?" Elena asked, wondering if maybe Jeremy was with her friend.

"Yeah, Caroline's here. Hold on, I'll put you on speaker."

That was definitely not a good idea. Elena had called Bonnie because she had been somewhat understanding about her friendship with Damon. Caroline would have a fit, she just knew it. "No, don't," she tried to interject but was cut off by Caroline's cheery voice.

"Hey Elena, how are you?" her friend called.

"Good," she mumbled, resting her hand over her eyes. Maybe she should hang up. Maybe she didn't need to talk about this after all. She could feel a sense of loneliness and vulnerability rush through her. She needed her friends, she just didn't think they would be willing to give her what she wanted right now.

"Where are you? We'll come over!" Caroline repeated Bonnie's suggestion.

"No, I'm… in Chicago," she replied dejectedly.

"What?" her friends exclaimed in unison. "Why?" Bonnie continued by herself.

"It's a long story," Elena said with an unnecessary shrug. "I could really use your advice," she added, annoyed at how watery her voice sounded. She just really needed to talk to someone who she thought would be on her side.

"Of course," both her friends agreed instantly.

"But you have to promise not to judge," Elena pleaded.

"Yeah, definitely," the girls promised.

Elena took a deep breath. She was sure that promise wouldn't survive what she was about to tell them but she had no other choice.

"I went to see Damon last night," she began, holding her breath, waiting to see if this first statement would already set off the avalanche of criticism that was sure to collapse upon her.

"Okay," Bonnie said after a bout of silence, drawing out the word in a matter that made Elena realize that her friends were waiting for more information before they were willing to jump into the conversation.

"We… made out," was the phrase she finally settled on, making her cringe because to her, it didn't reflect what had happened at all.

There was another bout of silence on the other end of the line. "Are you regretting it?" Bonnie finally asked, clearly working very hard on keeping her voice leveled so as to not reveal any emotion.

"No," Elena sighed, turning her head so that she could see the afternoon sun gild the windows of the high-rises around the hotel. "No, I… I love him." She bit her lips together and pressed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the scolding she was surely about to receive.

The silence that followed did nothing to calm her nerves.

"Does he love you, too?" Bonnie finally asked, still keeping her voice completely devoid of feeling.

"I don't know," Elena sighed, staring up at the ceiling sadly.

"Is that what you need advice with?" Bonnie dug a little deeper.

"Not really… Kind of…" Elena tried to get her thoughts sorted out. "Katherine woke up," she finally blurted out. This time there was an audible reaction from the other end of the phone line as both her friends gasped.

"Did you meet her?" Caroline, who had been keeping revealingly quiet for the last few minutes, shouted into the phone.

"No, not yet," Elena replied. "Damon went in alone today so she wouldn't be overwhelmed."

"Are they still together?" Bonnie questioned, her tone still surprisingly calm.

"I don't know," Elena answered, her voice watery again. "But she's the love of his life. I should be happy, right? I should pretend like nothing happened and not make a scene and be happy for him, right?" She felt the strain that suppressing her tears put on her vocal cords.

"Who said she's the love of his life?" Bonnie asked almost rhetorically.

"He did," Elena retorted.

"When was the last time he said that, though?" Bonnie tried again.

Elena was quiet. He hadn't said it in a long time, but that didn't necessarily mean that it wasn't still true. "I don't know. A while ago," Elena admitted.

"And what did he say to you last night?" Bonnie probed further.

A tear rolled down Elena's cheek. He had said amazing, incredible things to her last night. Things that had made her believe that maybe he felt something for her that was similar to what she felt for him. But maybe that was only because he had given up on the hope of getting Katherine back. Maybe he did like her, but when push came to shove, no one could compete with Katherine.

"Can I say something?" Caroline interrupted the silence.

Elena sighed. "Car, I know what you're going to say. But can you please not? I don't ask you to understand, I just ask you to support me, please. I can't fight my fears and you at the same time."

It was quiet for a short while, before Caroline spoke again, indignation in her voice. "You obviously don't know what I was going to say," she stated, sounding a little hurt. "I was going to say that maybe you have a shot. And that maybe you should go for it."

Elena heard a light rustling on the other end of the line that sounded like Bonnie turning towards Caroline in shock. Or maybe she only imagined it because she was so dumbstruck herself. "What?" she croaked out, not believing that she could have heard right.

"Well okay, I promised him not to tell you, but I will," Caroline sighed.

"Tell me what?" Elena asked while sitting up abruptly.

"He came by my house after he was released from the hospital," Caroline divulged. "He apologized."

"And you forgave him?" Bonnie questioned in a somewhat disbelieving tone. Elena had wondered the same thing. Plus, Damon going to Caroline's house to apologize was sweet and definitely surprising, but it didn't really give Elena hope for her current situation.

"That doesn't matter," Caroline brushed the question aside. "What I'm saying is, he's changed. You changed him, Elena! You made him compassionate. And kind."

"He was always like that," Elena mumbled. "He just got lost."

"Fine. Then you made him find himself," Caroline stated in exasperation. Elena could just picture her friend waving her arm around to underline her point. "Whatever. The important thing is he did that for you."

"No, he did it for himself," Elena rejected Caroline's statement.

"Ugh!" Caroline groaned in frustration. "Will you take a little credit? All I'm saying is that I'm sure he likes himself a lot more since he's met you. You have made his pathetic life a whole lot better. And I'm saying that if you want him, you should fight for him. You've seen what that bitch turned him into. Don't tell me he's happier that way."

Elena smiled lightly. She wasn't convinced, but her friend did have a point. And more than anything else, she had just the energy that Elena needed to crawl out of the depressed funk she had sunk into.

"Caroline's right," Bonnie agreed. "You don't know what he wants. As long as he hasn't told you that he's going back to her, you can just assume that he isn't. And if you want him, you should fight for him. You deserve to be happy and if he's the one that makes you happy then go for it."

Elena's smile widened. Her friends were right. If Damon came home to tell her that he still loved Katherine, then she could still sulk and cry about her broken heart. But as long as he hadn't ended whatever it was they had started, she was not going to walk away from it on her own. She shook her head at her own behavior. Not twenty-four hours ago, she had gone to him and told him she loved him, not caring whether he felt the same and not caring what anyone else thought of it. She had felt free and empowered. And then, only a phone-call later, she had allowed her fear of rejection and loss to turn her into a passive, depressed puddle who didn't trust the man she loved to love her back and who didn't trust the friends she usually trusted with her life to support her. It was pathetic. And it would end now. She would fight for him. And if he decided, in the end, that she was not the one for him, then that meant that he couldn't be the one for her, either. And she would cry into a bucket of ice cream but then she would wipe away those tears and run off the calories and continue on with her life. At least she hoped she would be strong enough to do that. But knowing that she had friends who would unconditionally stand by her side and help her through anything gave her the strength to give it her best shot.

"Alright, I will," she agreed, new hope now rushing through her body. "I'll fight for him."


	24. Chapter 23 SISTERS AND LOVERS

23. SISTERS AND LOVERS

"_Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."_  
>- Lao Tzu<p>

Elena breathed in deeply, straightening her back and raising her chin, hoping that the improved stance might awaken the courage she needed but didn't yet feel. It only partially worked, but standing outside the door like a scared deer was becoming increasingly pathetic. She needed to get this over with, needed to say what she had to say and needed to live with whatever the outcome of this encounter would be. With shaky hands but unshakable determination she knocked and waited for a surprised "Yeah?" before pushing down on the handle and opening the door.

Two big, curious eyes were watching her as she made her way from the door to the bed. "Hi," she breathed out, her voice weaker then she wanted it to be.

"Creepy," Katherine replied, unabashedly scrutinizing Elena from head to toe.

Elena huffed out a short laugh. "It's nice to meet you, too," she returned, standing awkwardly by the foot of her sister's bed.

"Oh don't be so hung up on protocol," Katherine waved her off. "You can't tell me it's not creepy."

Elena smiled. Katherine was brash but Elena didn't feel insulted. She eyed the girl on the bed carefully, looking for something she couldn't quite put her finger on. Dissimilarities, maybe. Something that could distinguish them physically. Or something that could explain the obsession with which Stefan and Damon had pursued this girl – an inner glow that reached out to people. So far Elena was still struggling to not feel like she was looking into a mirror.

"You're right, it is creepy," she conceded.

"Thank you!" Katherine accepted with a wide smile and a glint in her eyes that made Elena think that maybe there was more happening in this conversation than she was aware of – a glint that spoke of secrets and mysteries that only Katherine knew and that she herself could only ever dream of uncovering. "I really am glad to meet you, actually," Katherine then stated, a mischievous spark in her eyes stopping Elena from accepting the sentiment as truth. "You know, after I woke up," Katherine continued after a short moment of silence, "I felt very sorry for myself. Just… awful. But then, after hearing about your past year from mom and from Damon, I'm starting to wonder if you haven't had it worse."

Elena gave her a curt smile, before answering. "You know, I feel the same way about you."

To Elena's surprise, Katherine broke out in a gleeful laugh. It was a great laugh, full and merry and Elena could understand why guys would bend over backwards to hear it over and over again. "Must be a sister thing," Katherine finally returned with a wink, after she had sufficiently calmed down.

"Must be," Elena agreed, her chin raised defiantly.

"Come sit," Katherine ordered rather than offered, waving her hand at a chair by her bed. "Tell me about you. What are you like?"

Elena moved to sit down, looking at her sister warily. "What am I like?"

"Yeah. In life. Are you… a long walks on the beach kinda girl? Or are you… you know… into S and M. Are you a vegan?"

Elena stared at her sister a little shell-shocked. "Uhm… neither of those," she replied slowly, unsure of what to say.

"Well you're certainly not very forthcoming," Katherine commented, her eyes boring into Elena's.

"Okay, well that's a tough question. What are _you_ like?" Elena retorted somewhat offended.

"It's not tough at all. You can tell me whatever you want! How am I gonna know if it's true or not?" Katherine argued, looking at Elena like she was being willfully difficult. "Fine," she sighed after a short while. "I'll go first. I don't like long walks on the beach, but I do like watching the sun set over the ocean. I always imagine it's calling to me: Come on, Kat. There's more to see over here. Come with me." She looked outside the window longingly, like a canary stuck in a cage, waiting for the moment someone forgot to close the door properly and she could make her escape. "I believe that a day on which you don't kiss or slap someone is a lost day. I don't like to go to the movies and I like reading books even less. It takes too much time away from living, don't you think?" She asked but didn't give Elena time to answer. "I hate small-talk, so don't try any on me. And I hate sleeping. I wish I could take all the sleeping I've done this past year as credit and not sleep again until I used it all up. I think that's the worst part about this coma. That it's made me miss so much of my life."

Elena gave her a sad smile. She knew what that felt like. "After my parents' accident, I wasn't in a coma, but I still stopped living. I might as well have been asleep," she told her sister.

"What a waste," Katherine commented.

"Yeah, it was," Elena agreed sadly.

"Shame on you," Katherine berated her absent-mindedly. "Well, you met my boyfriends," she then remarked with a smirk. "So it wasn't all bad, I imagine."

"They kind of woke me up," Elena agreed.

"Sleeping Beauty and the princes," Katherine commented snarkily.

"It wasn't all that romantic," Elena disagreed.

"Yeah, I can imagine," Katherine laughed lightly. "Now you go."

"I…" Elena thought for a moment about how open she wanted to be with this girl. She was aware that she made herself more vulnerable with every word she said. At the same time she felt like she didn't have a choice, if she ever hoped to build a relationship with her sister. "I've never been outside the US," she began, staring down at her hands. "But I plan on travelling the whole world. I love books and movies. I feel like I can live an infinite number of lives through them." She thought for a moment about what the few things were that someone had to know about her. "My family is my life. I would do anything for them. I like to paint. And I love kids. I want to start College in fall to become an art therapist and work with traumatized children."

"God, you're just too good to be true, aren't you?" Katherine mocked good-naturedly.

Elena smiled. "I always thought that about you, too."

Katherine smiled back. "Anything else?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Elena swallowed. There was something she wanted to say, but she was afraid. The time to be scared was over, though. She didn't want to worry anymore. She wanted to be strong and brave and this was just another small step towards achieving that. "I love Damon," she said, looking at her sister to gauge her reaction.

Katherine smiled a small, Elena thought reminiscent, smile. "You know, I can see why you'd be good for him," she finally said, looking at Elena appraisingly. "I'm just surprised he'd see it, too. I always thought his heart was one big self-destruct button."

Elena breathed out a small laugh. She had always thought the same thing. She looked back up into Katherine's eyes. "Did you love him?" she asked, at the same time glad and scared to finally get the chance to ask her directly and not have to depend on what other people believed.

"Yes. I still do," Katherine replied with warmth and certainty in her voice.

"And Stefan?" Elena continued.

"Him, too. I never could decide," her sister answered. "I'm impressed you can."

"Would you have chosen one of them eventually?" Elena kept digging.

"Heavens, no!" Katherine exclaimed. "God, I can only stand either of them because I have the other to keep me sane."

"Had," Elena corrected, her heart in her throat.

For a moment Katherine looked startled, but then the muscles around her eyes softened and a small smile crept across her lips. "Yeah, I guess so."

* * *

><p><em>Elena was standing in front of the mirror, inspecting herself uncertainly. After her conversation with Bonnie and Caroline earlier today, she had been full of energy and resolve. Now, looking herself over and thinking about her plan, she felt her heart sink again. She was wearing a black, lacey corsage with matching stockings. She had never worn sexy underwear like this but today, with Caroline forcefully encouraging her from hundreds of miles away, she had gone and bought the raciest piece of clothing she would probably ever own. She was planning on walking over to Damon's room and seducing him.<em>

_Looking at herself in the mirror, however, she suddenly felt stupid. Damon had probably already seen her body shrouded in silk and lace; only it had belonged to someone else. This wasn't her. This wasn't what she did. This was something she supposed Katherine would do. Trying to win a man over with sexy lingerie - what was she thinking? This could only end in a horribly mortifying fiasco for her. Where Katherine would have looked sexy, she would look like she was trying too hard. _

_She shook her head and turned away from the mirror. She would take this stuff off and put on her jeans and t-shirt. He would either like it or he wouldn't, but this masquerade was laughable. If she had any hope of winning him over, it was as herself. If she tried to be a Katherine knock-off, she had already lost. She couldn't believe she'd let Caroline talk her into it._

_Just as she was about to unclasp the bodice, she heard a knock on the door. This had to be room service. She had ordered a bottle of Blanton's because she had seen it in Damon's apartment and assumed he liked it. Sexy underwear and Bourbon – not very subtle. Elena blushed suddenly at her brazenness. She would hide the bottle, then change, then hope for the best. She quickly pulled on a bathrobe as she rushed towards the door. When she opened it, her heart stopped._

_Damon was leaning in the doorway, a worn-out expression on his face. "Hey," he greeted with a tired smile. Elena took a shocked step back and pulled the bathrobe close around her neck, ashamed that she was still wearing the evidence of her embarrassing plan underneath._

"_Hey," she returned weakly, staring at him in confusion._

_His eyebrows furrowed slightly and he cocked his head to one side inquisitively as he pushed himself away from the door frame. "You okay?" he asked, slowly, almost uncertainly walking into the room._

"_Yeah, I…" she looked at him in bewilderment as he slowly closed the door behind him and looked at her, concern now etched on his features. "I wasn't sure you'd come," she said, quietly, inexplicably not daring to speak above a whisper._

"_Isn't that what people do after a rough day?" he asked, his eyes never leaving hers. "Coming home to the person they love?"_

_Elena's heart skipped a beat and heat blasted through her whole body. Had she heard him right? Had she understood him correctly? "And that's me?" she asked, feeling ridiculous and foolish right away, but not able to stop herself from asking._

_Damon looked at her quietly, a little stunned, observing her for a second before speaking. "Of course," he said, carefully reaching for her with his hand and caressing her cheek. _

_A sob escaped Elena's throat when she felt his skin against hers._

"_You doubted that?" he asked, looking at her a little hurt._

"_She woke up, Damon. Katherine's back," Elena replied, looking at him still with uncertainty and longing in her eyes._

"_I would never have kissed you if I hadn't been one hundred percent sure that I was over her and my feelings for you had absolutely nothing to do with what I once felt for her," he stated, the conviction in his voice catching Elena off guard._

"_I kind of talked you into it," Elena replied in a quiet voice, unable to look him square in the eyes. _

_Damon chuckled lightly, making her eyes shoot up to him. "You talked me into action. You didn't talk me into feeling what I felt," he tried to reassure her and for the first time that day an honest smile rushed across Elena's face. _

"_Elena," he began again, stepping closer to her. "I love you." His thumb ran across her cheek gently and her smile widened, finally reaching her eyes. "You have changed my life so much! You believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself anymore. You have made me realize how much I actually want the things that I have rejected for the longest time. Like having a relationship with my brother. Or relationships in general. I feel like I could have a future again. I actually want to have a future again. Because of you. You were right. I don't like a lot of people. But I enjoy every minute I spend with you. Because everything you say is interesting and everything you do amazes me. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Because your eyes are full of emotion and your smile has brightened every single one of my days since I met you. I've been wrong about so many things. I've been wrong about what I thought I wanted and about what I thought I needed. But you've been giving me both before I even questioned either."_

_Elena looked up at him, tears again in her eyes, but good ones now, filled with hope and overwhelming elation. And when their eyes locked, neither could hold back anymore and they met in a searing kiss, expunging all dread and fear and doubt. Elena's heart pounded in her chest, still trying to catch up with reality. He was here. He was holding her. He had told her he loved her. He wanted to be with her. She felt like her lips against his and her arms around his neck would never be able to convey what she felt in this moment, what she wanted to tell him. No matter how close she held him, no matter how hungrily she pressed her lips against his skin, it wouldn't be enough to communicate her feelings. They were still building up inside her, making her heart beat erratically, making her blood boil and press against her skin, heating it up and causing it to tingle, as if her feelings themselves were pushing against it, trying to leave her body and envelop him. _

_They moved backwards, never letting go of each other, lips still melting together and hands still tangling into hair desperately, until Elena stumbled over the bedframe against her legs and fell onto the mattress with a short yelp, Damon following right behind her. He was lying on top of her now, quietly looking at her face as if wanting to commit this moment to memory, wiping small strands of hair from her forehead._

"_Why did you doubt my feelings for you?" he asked, his forehead crinkled lightly in disappointment._

"_You were so distant," Elena explained, grabbing the hand that was caressing her face and pulling it against her chest as if to hold him closer._

_Damon breathed out a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry," he said, looking at her with a pained expression. "I never meant to make you feel like I was pulling away. I just…" He paused, trying to find the right words. "The thought of Katherine waking up, in her mind being exactly where we all were eighteen months ago, not knowing about all the changes, not knowing about you… In her mind we were still together. It would have been like I was cheating on her with you. I couldn't do that."_

_Elena nodded slightly, her eyes downcast, inspecting imaginary lint on his shirt. _

"_It wouldn't have been fair to you," he added, making Elena's eyes shoot up to his._

"_To me?" she asked confused._

"_Yeah. It would have been like… you know… you're the woman on the side. And I couldn't do that. You deserve so much better. You deserve everything. I couldn't be with you while someone else still thought my heart belonged to them."_

_Elena felt her eyes begin to sting and she leaned up to kiss him fiercely before any tears could actually form._

"_I'm so sorry I made you doubt my feelings for you," he breathed in between kisses._

"_I'm sorry I doubted you," she replied and held onto him more fiercely, as if to prevent him from ever leaving again. _

_Slowly, reverently, his hand crept underneath her robe, gliding softly along Elena's skin, making her body tingle and her breathing speed up until, suddenly, as his careful hands reached her waist, his movement stilled, his breathing halted and he pulled back slightly. Elena opened her eyes in confusion, only to be met by a curious, playful look._

"_What's this?" he asked, slowly unfastening the belt that held the terry cloth robe together and gently pushing it aside, allowing a cool breeze to rush across Elena's heated skin._

_In an instant Elena's dazed mind jumped back to the present moment and to what she was still wearing. Blood shot into her cheeks and her hands flew up to pull the lapels together again but Damon stopped her with a smirk. _

"_Let me see," he purred._

_Elena closed her eyes in embarrassment but dropped her arms in defeat._

"_So this is what you wear when you don't expect me to come over?" he questioned, one eyebrow raised in mock-disapproval._

"_I…" Elena felt the heat in her cheeks tingle. She felt exposed. Everything inside her screamed at her to close the robe, to run away. But he had been honest with her and she wanted to be honest with him. "I was going to fight for you," she stated, her eyes flicking across his face uncertainly, unwilling to concentrate on any one thing in specific. _

_She saw a shocked depth widen his pupils and wipe away the smirk that had tugged on the corners of his lips. _

"_You were going to fight for me?" he asked, all playfulness gone from his voice now._

"_Yes," she replied in a hoarse whisper, her eyes suddenly stilling, drawn to the intensity in his._

"_With lingerie?" he questioned, a new, curious smile slowly pulling at the right corner of his lips._

"_And Bourbon," she confirmed. Damon chuckled lightly. "It's stupid, I know," she reprimanded herself, clasping one hand across her eyes in humiliation._

"_Stop it," he scolded quietly, pulling her hand away so she was forced to look back into his eyes. "It's not stupid," he stated, his voice unusually serious. "No one has ever fought for me." He looked at her sincerely, willing her to grasp the magnitude of the moment._

"_I just couldn't let you go," she explained, staring back at him._

"_I'm not going anywhere," he returned, his thumb trailing her jaw-line carefully. "You don't need sexy underwear to make me stay, though. You know that, right?" he asked, smirking again._

"_I was gonna take it off when you knocked," she nodded._

"_Perfect timing," he stated, his voice low and husky. "Now I can help you." And with that he bent down to kiss her again._

* * *

><p>"I was furious, when he told me," Katherine stated, boring into Elena's eyes as if to catch even the slightest reaction. "The last time I saw him, he had told me that I was the only woman he could ever love."<p>

Elena couldn't help but flinch slightly. Not because she felt threatened by Katherine, but because she now knew what it felt like to be loved by Damon Salvatore and she was sure that if she ever lost his love, it would devastate her.

"And now here he is, telling me he's met someone. Someone who looks exactly like me. How pathetic is that!" Her eyes were still fixed on Elena's, registering the slightest movement of her brow, the smallest twitch of her lips. "I was actually looking forward to meeting my new sister. But now I just wanted to scratch your eyes out."

"I never intended to hurt you," Elena began but was cut off by a dismissive wave of Katherine's hand.

"Oh stop it," she snapped. "You weren't concerned with my feelings and I'm not concerned with yours." Elena wanted to protest again, but she doubted that it would be of any use. And Katherine looked like she still had more to say. "But the way he talks about you, you know…" she calmed down visibly and looked towards the ceiling as if thinking back to a beautiful memory from her childhood. "I've never seen him like that. He seems at peace." Elena smiled, watching her sister. "I always thought he was meant to be a fighter. You know. To go up against the world and slowly wear it down and shape it to his liking. But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he doesn't need to fight. Maybe he can find a place in this world that is already perfect for him. And maybe that place is with you."

"Thank you," Elena said honestly.

"It doesn't mean I like it," Katherine bit back, her voice assuming a harsher tone again.

"No. But I'm sure that means a lot to Damon and it means a lot to me, too," Elena replied.

Katherine turned her head and smiled at Elena, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You're sweet. We should hang out more. I think I'd have a lot of fun corrupting you."

Elena smirked back. "I think I'd have a lot of fun watching you try."

Katherine laughed another of her bright, tinkling laughs and Elena couldn't help but join in. She still didn't know if she liked her sister or not, but she couldn't help but be drawn in by her. She had an energy about her that always kept other people on their toes. Elena was sure that no matter how much time she spent with her, she would never know with certainty how Katherine would react to something she said. She was unpredictable and blunt and fiery, and it was fascinating. Elena could understand why people flocked towards her - for the pure and simple challenge of figuring her out. She was an enigma, and to be the one person that could get close enough to her to understand her and win her love would be to own the world.

There was a knock on the door and Damon stepped into the room, an inquisitive look on his face. "How are you ladies?" he asked, walking in and kissing both girls on the cheek before sitting down in a chair next to Elena, interlacing their fingers.

"Well, as far as replacements for me go, at least you found one with a sense of humor," Katherine stated with a wink.

"Easy on the venom, Kat," he warned while lifting their entwined hands to place a quick kiss on Elena's knuckles.

Katherine rolled her eyes and heaved an exaggerated sigh. "If she can't take a little teasing, how do you ever hope to make this work?" she responded huffily.

"She's right, you know," Elena said with a smirk. "You've said way worse things to my face."

"I was young and stupid back then," Damon returned with a fake pout.

"Well, she's young and stupid now," Elena replied with a smirk and a small wave towards her sister's bed. "She'll learn. No one can resist my charms forever." Damon's eyebrows shot up in surprise and Katherine broke out into another burst of jingling laughter.

"I like her better by the minute," Katherine commented with a wide smile.

"We should get going," Damon stated, getting up. "Our plane leaves in an hour and a half."

"Alright, well thanks for coming to see me and breaking my heart," Katherine replied, sitting up slowly.

Damon walked over to her bed and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thanks, kitten," he murmured, certain that she knew exactly what he was thanking her for. "Good to have you back."

"You too, stud. Don't be a stranger," she replied as she buried her face against his neck. When he pulled away, she gave him a weak smile. "You too, creepy girl," she called out to Elena.

"I promise," she returned with a smile and bent over to hug her sister goodbye. It was the first time they actually touched and Elena felt a strange jolt when the other girl's arms closed around her shoulders and her hair blew into her face. She smelled unfamiliar and her skin felt unfamiliar, too, but Elena still had a sense of deep connection. "I'm glad I got to meet you after all," she said quietly, causing Katherine to chuckle lightly.

"Have a save trip," she called after the couple as they walked out of her hospital room.

As Elena closed the door, Damon swung an arm over her shoulders. "How are you really?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

"I'm good," she replied, turning towards him and closing her arms around his waist. "You're here. I'm perfect."

"Yes, you are," he agreed with a smirk that made her laugh before he leaned down to kiss her. "How about you and I get out of here and check out that future, that everyone's always talking about?" he proposed, leaning back a little but never loosening his arms around her.

"I'd say that's probably the best plan you've had all year," she agreed with a grin.

"Best plan of my life," he returned before leaning down for another kiss, the first of many.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** So yes, this is it. Can you believe it? I can't! I finished my first fic. What a journey! Thanks so so so much to everyone who's been on it with me. I appreciate all the support I've gotten from all of you and I'm so grateful that I've come to be able to call some of you my friends. Some of the most amazing people I know, I've met through writing here and all of you have enriched my life! In particular, I'd like to thank NyEspi and Katy5219, who are both amazing writers and who have both supported me immensely from the very beginning and I can never thank them enough. There have been other amazing people who deserve my eternal gratitude and you guys know who you are! I hope I'm not forgetting anyone, please forgive me if I do, but Mak, Ash, Jenn, Carol, Layla, Val, Laura (and a bunch of you whose real names I don't know), I could never have done this without you. Thanks to everyone who's ever followed or faved this or been so kind as to drop me a review. Each and every alert makes my day and you have brought me more happiness over the past year and a half than you can imagine. This has been wonderful! Thank you for making this an amazing experience for me. And now, before I start to cry my eyes out, I'll say goodbye and may all your dreams come true. __I love you all! _


End file.
